want autistics who don’t need constant or near constant support to know that having higher support needs, not able to live alone take care of self, not being able to hide autism, all of it can be really really devastating and suffocating.
not all sunshine and rainbows, or magically accommodated and needs met.
cannot leave ableist & abusive family because need to rely on them. because cannot be independent. because too poor for residential living or support worker. because no other support.
cannot escape authoritarian country with harsh censorship (not talk about US) because no country want such disabled person. because not productive member of society. because liability. because likely to be “public charge.”
forced to drop out of school. very soon. because need life carer and college not obligated to give that. even though want to learn. want to have secure future.
scared of future. because depend on others. cannot not depend on others. forced to trust. forced to make self so vulnerable. quality of life not in own hands. not having control on own life is terrifying.
scared about what to do after drop out of school. scared when parents lose job. scared when parents get old and can’t support me. scared when they die.
scared about own life. every day. trauma every day. trauma whole life. unspeakable trauma.
so, get really upset when see lower support needs autistics say that people like me lucky.
or erase people like me in advocacy. take away our language.
because am not lucky. not lucky to have to wonder if will be locked away, abused, or even killed in near future. real threat. not just distant advocacy terms.
