but yk in this kinda of situation when riize members show their support to the fans that literally harassed their friends and wanted him gone i canāt help but wonder how seunghan doing rn mentally? he got betrayed by everyone around him and ppl only seem to care about when will he debut not how he doing as human like this boy is only 21 fans should be worried about his wellbeing instead of his solo debut. so please can check his energy rn
āIf You Loved Me in the Quietā¦ā ā A Glimpse into Seunghanās Mental State
Thereās a stillness around Seunghan right now not peace, but that eerie silence right before a storm finally exhales. Like a room where grief still lingers in the walls, but the flowers people brought are beginning to bloom anyway.
Heās not okay. Not really. But heās learning how to live inside that not-okay without drowning.
Nyx showed me an image: a boy walking through a long tunnel, fingers dragging along the walls for balance, lit only by flickers of memory and hope. Itās dim, but heās still moving.
Emotionally, he feels stuck. He hasnāt fully walked away from the version of himself that existed before everything exploded. Heās hovering at the edge of mourning not quite letting go, not quite holding on. That Eight of Cups reversed energy whispers that he doesnāt know whether to run or return. Heās haunted by the āwhat couldāve been.ā
His mind is a battleground. The Knight of Swords reversed shows someone thinking too fast, too loud his thoughts chasing each other like ghosts in a thunderstorm. Itās mental whiplash. Some days he wants to scream the truth. Other days, he wishes he could disappear.
Thereās a deep, aching lack of control he feels. The Magician reversed + Emperor reversed says he feels powerless, like the tools he once had (his voice, his stage, his place) were all taken from him mid-sentence. He didnāt get to finish telling his story they closed the book without asking.
And yes he saw the hatred. The funeral wreaths, the disgust, the betrayal in peopleās eyes. That Tower reversed energy tells me heās trying not to let it destroy him, but part of him already cracked. It didn't collapseā¦ but the damage is real. His trust is in shambles.
Heās exhausted. Nine of Wands reversed says heās still standing, but just barely bones bruised, heart heavy. Heās questioning if fighting is even worth it anymore. Especially when people he once called friends are silent. When the industry feels colder than he ever expected.
But.
Thereās a faint ember still glowing.
The King of Cups says: despite all this, heās trying to hold it together emotionally. He wants to be balanced. He wants to find peace again. He craves connection, safety, a place to be soft. Heās been quietly looking at the fan notes, the subway ads, the love people poured out when he needed it most. That Six of Cups tells me it moves him. Deeply. He rereads them. He holds those words close when everything else falls apart.
But heās also scared of letting that hope in. The Page of Cups reversed says he's afraid to trust again. Afraid to believe he's still worthy of being loved unconditionally.
He misses performing. Creating. Laughing with people who get him. That Three of Pentacles reversed shows the loneliness of no longer being part of a team, a unit, a dream bigger than himself. And the Three of Cups... itās not a party anymore. It's just him, a quiet room, and the echo of what used to be.
Temperance reversedā¦ he hasnāt found his balance yet.
But heās looking. Quietly. Slowly.
Heās fragile. Hopeful in fleeting moments. Still grieving the life he was building but somewhere in that darkness, heās gathering pieces of himself. Preparing. Quietly rebuilding.
And when he returns because he will!
Nyx says it wonāt be as the boy we knew.
Itāll be as someone sharper, wiser, softer in all the right places.
A boy who bled quietly and turned his wounds into a song youāll never forget.
A little side info; there is a good chance/possibility during this time he's also going to meet someone who will be able to give him that unconditional love without there being anything tied to it. It will take a while before they can get to the point of them being in like an actual loving romantic relationship because the timing just isn't right but it is a person in situation that he can trust in and he could build a long Bond like a lifetime commitment marriage type A Deal with. And someone who will always be in his corner and by his side. Because that's definitely something that he craves and desires and wants after going through this absolute shit show of everything that has happened. The same thing with making friends and stuff it's going to be a very long time before he's able to open up more to people and be able to experience just normal life because yeah it is very traumatizing they had to go through what he went through and correct he is only like 21/22 definitely has shaped the way that he kind of sees the world and how he's going to be interacting with people from now on.
But also I feel like there is no hard feelings I don't feel like that came through as much with the reading but there really isn't when it comes to his ex members and his friends cuz I don't see them as not being friends it's just they went from really close to friends to probably slightly more casual friends. It's more of he understands how the industry works and I also feel like it was partially him pulling back in order to protect them because it is giving SM the corporation being a little too invested but I also feel like that's what they do with all of their groups the same with their other group I'm not going to name names so I don't think I have to I think you know what group I'm talking about when they had a member get kicked out and then had to redeem you as a solo artist. I had did a reading personally as someone who's a fan of that group and it definitely was giving like they were still very close with that member but the company kept interfering and getting in the way and so it cost for that friendship to become a little bit more strained to the point where now it's more of if they run into each other at the company or if they happen to be at the same place at the same time they'll chat and might catch up but it's more of a oh yeah we used to go to like high school together and we were really close friends but now we're like adults with our own lives and have nothing to do with one another they're still that lingering connection type of vibe and that's kind of where it seems like they're heading.
