#sumjude

“Do you even care how much you hurt Jude?” His voice was shrill, seething silently from the other end of the line. 

“Jude and I are just frien-”

“Bullshit, Summer! For whatever reason, Jude really fucking loves you. Somehow, after all the caginess and the unreliability, he still gives a fuck about you. And you don’t even care!”

What did Kai know about love? He was always on and off with Aria, always fucking around with some poor girl to make her jealous, knowing he would inevitably repeat the cycle. 

“You’re one of my best friends, but Jude’s my brother. If you wanna be casual, that’s fine, but he doesn’t deserve to be lied to or used. He’s made it very clear how much he cares about you, but you keep him on a fucking chain, and it’s not right. If you actually care about him, you would be honest with him. It’s the least he deserves.” 

I knew Jude cared about me. That was the worst part of this whole situation. He was always taking care of me, always gentle, always comforting me, making sure I was safe. I was constantly waiting for him to slip up, to break my heart or something, but he never did. And I hated it. None of this was fair to him. 

My heart raced as I made way to Jude. Suddenly it felt like a million people were crowding the room. It was way too fucking hot in here; I felt like I was gonna throw up or faint as I stood in front of him. 

“I need to talk to you,” I said, already leading him outside.

The cold ocean air whipped my face as I stood there in front of him. I could still hear Whitesnake blaring inside the room, and all I could think about was how I was gonna murder Kai if he was wrong. What if I was just a casual fling for Jude? What if he was sick of me by now? He could have a new girlfriend or fling right now! He could be meeting up with some girl after his show, and there would be nothing I could do about it! 

“I haven’t been fair to you, Jude. I’m sorry”. I didn’t even look at him when I spoke. I couldn’t.

“What are you talking about?” 

“When we first started talking, I was so prepared for you just to be another asshole. I was waiting for you to break my heart; I was practically pleading for it. But you’re so fucking kind. No matter what I’ve done to you,  you’re always so nice and gentle. You don’t yell at me, you don’t force me to do shit, you don’t criticize me, you don’t hurt me, and that terrifies me. And I’m so sorry that I’ve been such a bitch to you and all I do is keep you at arms length-”

“Summer-”

“And I understand if you hate me, because if you treated me the way I treat you, I would be so fucking pissed. But just need you to know that I really do love you and-”

“Summer! Just listen to me, please!”

I was crying by this point, and I cried even harder when Jude put his arms around my shoulders. I could smell the Country Apple body splash and the surf wax clinging to his clothes as he pulled me closer. 

“I’m not upset with you, Jewels,” he paused for a second before regaining himself. 

“When Mindy died, I really thought that was it for me. I was either gonna join her, or I was just gonna spend the rest of my life alone because what was left for me after that? But no matter what you think about yourself, Summer, you’re such a bright light to everybody you meet. You’re accepting and authentic; you don’t care what anyone says about you or anyone else. You’re always so patient and kind; you’re sarcastic and stubborn, you’re a million things at once, and I want every single one of them. What are you so scared of, Summer?”

 I was scared of every fucking thing. It was all too much to tell him. I never really cared too much for the guys I dated, breaking up with them after a week to save myself from the heart. I don’t even think I could call what Jake did to me love.  The only person I had a semblance of a good relationship with was a girl, so I never knew what to do with a guy that actually cared about me. Jude’s love wasn’t forceful or cruel, just patient and delicate. What was I supposed to do with someone like that?

“I don’t know how to love someone like you do.” I kept my eyes on the concrete, trying not to look at him as I spoke. I sounded like a child. 

“I could show you,” The metal from his piercing felt cold against my lips as he kissed me. 

“You deserve to be loved, Summer. Just let me take care of you.”

I didn’t plan to tell my parents about Summer’s pregnancy until the 8th to 9th-month mark. Summer and I thought this was best because then I’d already be moved out for college, and they wouldn’t have a say. That didn’t happen, though. Nothing had been going the way either of us wanted. They found out a week ago and things were still so tense. They found out when Ruby and Andrew had brought up one of Summer’s appointments. My parents usually tried to speak calmly whenever they were angry at me, but I don’t think I’d ever seen them so pissed before. When I came home from school that day they told Kai and Marley to go to their rooms so they could talk to me privately, but it wasn’t a private conversation when you’re in a screaming so loud that the neighbors could hear.

“You’ve done so much stupid shit, Jude, but this bad. Really fucking bad! Do you not understand that?! You’re bringing a fucking baby into this shitshow!” My dad was fuming. My life wasn’t a shit show but they never wanted to see that. I’d been sober for almost a year now, I was gonna go to college, I could get a better job, I could really fucking do this. 

“And in the last 4 fucking months, almost 5, you lied to us again! Do you think I wanted to find out that you got Summer pregnant because Ruby brought it up at lunch?  Do you ever think about how your actions have consequences?” My mom was shaking because she was so mad.

“It’s not that much fucking different then you get pregnant with me! You were an unmarried couple who’d only been dating and knew each other for 6 months! I’ve known Summer longer than you and Dad did! You don’t want to fucking admit that maybe I could be a good father!”

“That is not the same and you know that! You’re barely 17 and 18 years old!  You haven’t even finished high school yet. You lie, you’re irresponsible, impulsive, immature, and you haven’t taken responsibility for your actions! If you decide you don’t want to be a father anymore, we can’t fucking fix that for you! You couldn’t even be responsible enough to tell us when you found out! Were you just gonna hide it until she’s in the delivery room?” 

“You just think I’m such a fuck up, don’t you! I don’t fucking need this, I don’t need you! I figured out 4 months of the pregnancy and I can figure out the other 5! She’s giving birth in September so I’ll be out of the house before you fucking know it and who knows, you might not even see my daughter at all. As a matter of fact, I’m leaving tonight!” 

I was so pissed that night. My parents were still yelling at me and telling me not to leave, that it would be another bad idea but they couldn’t stop me. When I walked into my room, Kai was already sitting on my bed. 

“You’re not serious about leaving, are you?” 

“I need to get out and cool off. I’m not skipping town or anything, I’m just gonna sleep in my van or crash at Summer’s. I’ll be fine, I promise.” I wasn’t even looking at him as I started shoving my clothes into bags

“I know what it’s like to have parents who aren’t ready for you at all and never figured out how to raise a kid. I don’t want that for you, Summer, or your kid. It’s not fair.”

Kai was always right. He was living with us because of how awful his parents were to him. Calliope wouldn’t be in that situation with Summer and I as her parents, though. It wouldn’t be perfect but I wasn’t going the ruin my child’s life like my parents wanted to believe. 

“We’ll be fine. I just need someone to trust me. Please, just believe me.” 

I walked out after and I spent 3 days at Summer’s house. She didn’t mind me staying but I got the sense her parents and Lennon wanted me out as soon as I got there. It’s been 7 days since I came back and things were still so fucking tense. 

______________________________________________________________

I thought Summer was asleep by now. She hadn’t spoken in a while and the "Last Unicorn" VHS had already ended. 

“We need to start looking at apartments again.” She said, her hands lying on her bump. 

We were already starting to pack up some of the stuff in her bedroom. Her collectibles were packed neatly in boxes, all of the clothes and toys were packed away in containers, and there were huge boxes of pampers already stored in her closet. We were going to try to find a place by August and it was only April, but I was worried we wouldn’t be able to find one. 

“We can start looking more tomorrow.” 

“I just don’t know what we’re gonna do. I don’t know if we’re gonna have enough money when she’s born, I highly doubt I’m getting the money from my grandparents when I turn 18. They don’t even look at me the same way anymore. I just want it all to be enough for her.”

I didn’t know if we’d be okay. I could ask my parents for money and pay them back in the future, I could start working more hours, and I would still be getting money for performing. Summer didn’t want me to quit Wine Cellar, and I honestly didn’t either. I just want my girlfriend and daughter to be happy. 

Summer and Jude are 17 and 18 when she gets pregnant, have only been dating for around 7 months, and their parents already don't like the fact that they're dating so there's so much anxiety and stress during the pregnancy. Summer's grandparents are very against abortion and she's constantly being told that she has to keep the baby and she has to get married to Jude. Both sets of her grandparents are extremely conservative in that regard and will not be letting up. Her parents don't tell her either way whether she should get an abortion or not, letting her make that decision herself. But Summer's grandparents have a strong influence on her and she already feels vulnerable, so she keeps the baby.

Jude is scared and confused. He never thought about the idea of children and he's not opposed to the idea of having children, he just didn't think he was going to have a kid barely 2 months into college. His parents already don't trust him anymore because any trust they had in him went out the window when they found out he lied about being with Summer in the first place. They think he's irresponsible, impulsive, and immature and the idea of him having kid at freshly 18. He has no plan of telling them until Summer is around 8 or 9 months he thinks it's better that way (shout-out to Eesa fr because they helped me map out this and came up with this idea). Cleo and Elijah find out at around 4-5 months because Ruby and Andrew had said something. They're not happy in the slightest because this is another instance of Jude lying to them and they don't trust him with a kid. I think he does compare his situation to the one Cleo and Elijah were in when she was pregnant with him, but they think he's ridiculous.

Essentially, I think that Summer and Jude are 2 high school seniors. They don't know how to feel, they're scared, vulnerable, and trying to become extremely independent before their daughter is born.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Summer!” My dad yelled as I opened the door and my mom grabbed my hand. I looked back at Jude, he smiled sympathetically as she walked me into the house. I could still hear my dad yelling at him until he told him to drive away and he did. My parents were livid as they walked into the house. 

“You lied to us, Summer! You said you’d be back by 1:30 and that Ari would be driving you back, instead, you stayed out until 2 am making out with Jude of all people!” My mom said. Aria was the one who drove me but I didn’t think they’d see Jude taking me back home. 

I couldn’t blame them for having this reaction considering Jude’s past. He went to jail 3 times, he lost his last job for stealing, he had a drug problem, and he used to be an asshole to everyone but here I was about to defend him to try to change my parents' mind about him.

“I know you’re mad but he’s changed so much. I promise! He’s been sober for over a year, he’s been working at his new job since February, he’s become so nice to everyone and he’s proved to me how much he cares about me!” My voice broke and I could feel tears rolling down my face. I always got emotional when being yelled at, especially like this. 

“And you really believe that he’s changed!? He’s lied so much I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s doing the same things to you!!” My dad said.

“Your dad’s right, Summer! He’s only going to hurt you and if he loved you, why is he making you hide your relationship from everyone?”

“It was my idea to hide it! We’ve only been dating for almost 2 months!” They didn’t have to know the truth. 

They yelled at me for another 30 minutes before telling me they’d figure this out in the morning without grounding me like I thought they would. Lennon had this smug look on his face as I went into my room. I called Jude from the touchtone in my room; he told me he’d figure everything out and he’d prove my parents wrong.

And God, I hoped he did.