#friendless

I'm so tired of trying to figure myself out. I feel things but I can't express things. I want things but I can't let the other person know. I think I identify one way but then I think I don't. I am told, "This is who you are", but it's really not. I was born like this but I'm made to feel bad for it.

i wish i had a friend in my life that i could open up to in the way i am in therapy. i just can't do it on a friend level. i feel like a burden since they're not billing me for it. i've faced a lot of troubles in my life. some i caused, some that were caused by the trauma's others carried. but the one that's facing me head on will be my hardest yet. how does one live after the loss of their primary parent? i guess it's time for me to start learning how to process this level of grief. thankfully there's still some time left but who knows when that will end.

why are the people who GET IT live a thousand miles away??? like, hello awesome person from the internet whom i vibe with so much!!!

"what do you look for in a romantic partner–"

every time i get a "i need your advice bro" from a friend,