dissectiongirl

I have written his parents to be somewhat politically conscious people though so left-leaning politics has always been something in the background of his life even at an early age. his parents have talked a lot about how PRI ruined their lives back in mexico and how a lot of it is tied to the usa's grip on latin america, and generally have always instilled in him this more negative view of the usa and similar powers. but they are also prone to believing in conspiracy theories which means his entire family are very paranoid people, which doesn't help isa's mental health at all.

since he's the only citizen in his family, he's lived his whole life watching his parents and his sister struggle with not having the same opportunities he has. with his father being disabled (a T10 paraplegic) on top of that, he is particularly resentful of how the healthcare system punishes his family for being undocumented when all his father ever did was work in construction to provide for everyone before his accident.

so, much of isa's interest in leftist politics is from pure experience. he's very aware of his status as a citizen compared to his family, very aware of how they're treated like an open secret and that the american dream is a scam. add tonatiuh being someone else he later finds out is undocumented too (who herself is also very angry and views all politics as empty gestures) and isa tries to do something, anything, to be a voice for them.

his attempt at this is burning down a building, which amounts to nothing in the long run. all it does is trigger a psychotic episode where he physically hurts his sister and completely stops talking to tona. he doesn't know what to do with his anger and his despair, and only spends his time locked in his room and spiraling over what a failure he is. at his worst, he's fantasizing about causing a tragedy to make another big statement and taking himself out with it.

sometimes I feel like what I want to write about is stupid. especially a visual novel where the majority of vn fans might think it's too western or political. but it's the only way I know how to express these struggles and to depict what this kind of life is like. and mostly I'm just sick of being silent about it. you said you don't see a lot of people make ocs who are first-gen immigrants and I agree, let alone daring to make any who are undocumented (and undoc youth at that even!) but honestly I don't want just anyone to do that either. I am already seeing it become the next trendy political stance when I see a white person suddenly selling stickers or shirts with chinga la migra or fuck ice on it. maybe I am just bitter, but it is hard to appreciate when we're the ones at risk and have been for far too long and now people want to actually acknowledge our existence.

honestly I have just been very overprotective before because of how they, more specifically tonatiuh, are based on my experiences as a mexican immigrant. a pretty specific kind of trauma that is not easy for me to share openly and I feel that fiction is the only way I can really express it safely. so the thought of someone "kinning" tona because they are only focused on her bpd while having no connection to the experience of being an immigrant does bug me. which I'm not accusing you of doing by mentioning her bpd, it is just something I have felt in the past. but I do recognize this is the internet and I don't have any control over what people will do with my art or my work at the end of the day.

in regards to their mental illness specifically, I think that is easier for there to be a degree of separation between them and myself. there are specific things that are heavily based on my experiences (isaias' psychosis, his intrusive thoughts, the feeling of having split into a different person after a suicide attempt...) but I also just love characters who are weird and neurotic and have a lot of things wrong with them. people being able to relate to or sympathize with his mental illness or tona's abandonment issues or any of my other ocs' problems would really be a testament to my own writings skills, you know. so saying that they are interesting characters is something I appreciate a lot!!! thank you :)

I wish I could draw comics more but they burn me out really bad. the only one I ever put actual time into was this, when I was randomly thinking about tona's dynamic with one of her exes, tristan.