#stutteringproject

At the beginning of this year I announced a new project I would be embarking upon.  As a person who has stuttered for my entire life and am a photographer I decided to merge these two parts of my life to create a portrait project about people who stutter.  After my first announcement of the stuttering project I have been receiving an awesome response from friends, family, strangers, and a few stuttering blogs that have agreed to support our effort by reposting once the project has begun. The project has officially begun. Since I am going to take portraits of people who stutter and interview them, it only seems fair for me to be the first one to volunteer for this project. My hope is that by starting with my own portrait and sharing the very information I seek from others this first portrait will give those interested (but perhaps slightly hesitant) a better idea of what this project is all about.

            I noticed that I stuttered at an early age. My Mom told me a story of when I was in pre-school, asking her why I “talked different.” Growing up stuttering was my cross to bear.  Difficult as it was, I was quite skilled in hiding it through elementary, middle, and high school. I tried to blend into my surroundings by sitting in the back of the class and never asking questions even when I knew the answers or didn't understand the lesson and needed help.  Anonymity was my survival.  It was my coping mechanism.  It wasn't until I was in college that I learned to make peace with my stutter and realized, decided that stuttering is not my one defining characteristic. Thankfully, with age comes confidence.  Confidence, paired with some tricks and maneuvers that were years in the making, led me to bring my stutter to the forefront instead of hiding in the back of class.  Life experience made me realize that being open and honest about the fact that I stutter puts people at ease.  The first time I talk to a new person I casually mention that I stutter and it not only gets it out of the way so I feel at ease but it puts the person I'm talking to at ease because they know that I stutter, I'm comfortable with it and in turn they feel the same.

            Dealing with the anger and other difficulties of growing up with a stutter allowed me to finally learn to have a sense of humor about stuttering, about myself.  For example, in a college English class the professor did“popcorn reading,”where someone reads a paragraph and then picks another person in the class to read the next paragraph at random. As a child I was ALWAYS chosen to read aloud and in some extreme cases teachers would either make me read out loud constantly or the opposite would happen and they would never call on me at all.  Either way there was a special sort of prejudice.  I was treated differently because of stuttering.  It's one of those things that has stuck with me as an adult.  So as I was called to read the paragraph in my college English class, I just said “Um I stutter so if you want to get though this chapter today you might want to pick someone else.”Problem solved.  College courses also require every student to give a lot of presentations, myself included.  So I would open every time with“Hello, I'm Branden.  I just want to let you know I will stutter thoughout my presentation so there's no need to freak out.”  Once the fact that I stuttered was out in the open it was more comfortable for everyone involved and because my stuttering is closely related to stress and anxiety, I would stutter less after opening with a line like that. We often hide in plain sight and I'm here to tell you how much better life is when you can finally just be yourself and stop letting stuttering define you completely.

            As an adult I have proactively dealt with stuttering in a number of ways.  I've been to support groups and gotten to know a number of others who stutter.  I started and graduated from college and refused to ever let my speech hold me back from what I wanted in life.  Throughout my life and learning experiences with stuttering as a whole one thing that is so prevalent is how little the general public knows about stuttering and how often those who do stutter continue to hide.  My purpose in doing this project is to get a conversation going and to get stuttering out in the open.  I also wanted to raise some awareness about stuttering which effects about 1% of the world's population.  I know it doesn't sound like a lot but it really is and yet how many stutterers have you really come across??? 

  Stuttering Project Interview Questions- Branden Winter Age- 32

·      How old were you when you first noticed that you stuttered?

My mom told me that I asked her why I talk different in preschool, but I don't think I remember noticing until I was in kindergarten.

  ·      Have you ever received any speech therapy (or any other type of treatment) for your stuttering?  How do you feel about the experience overall?

Yes, I received speech therapy as a child through the school district where I was put in the same speech class as kids with intellecual disabilities, none of which I actually had. I was also in private speech therapy outside of school where they taught us incredibly bad habits because during that time no one really knew how to treat stuttering. As an adult I had better experiences. I attended Cal State Long Beach for college and it was there that I had therapy over a summer and a semester, along with going to a stuttering support group for several years.  I do feel that the treatment available today is far better than what I received as a child. 

·      How would you describe your stuttering? (What are your challenges, blocks, tricks, etc.?)

I have mostly blocks. I also display secondary facial expressions during blocks.

  ·      How has stuttering influenced you as the person you are today?

I think it has made me a person with a lot of patience because I know patience is required to talk to me. It's made me a more caring person in that I'm more aware and sensitive to people with any array of difficulties in their lives.  Stuttering has influenced my life in some other ways as well.   

  ·      Do you feel that stuttering have given you strengths that are beneficial? What are they?

Growing up with my mouth shut I spent a lot of my childhood as an observer and that has really given me an extra awareness of those around me.  It's also made me an excellent judge of character.

  ·      What do you do for a living?

I work with children and adults with various mental disorders.

  ·      What role does stuttering play in your job?

Stuttering plays a big role at my job. My job requires me to constantly interact with clients, their parents, and coworkers throughout the day.  I am also regularly required to give presentations to large groups of people.

  ·      What is one thing you wish every person that you come into contact with knew about stuttering?

I wish people would just be patient instead of instantly assuming that because I might take a little longer to speak that I have some mental deficiency. 

  ·      What is the most common reaction you get from strangers who first encounter your stuttering?

It really depends on the situation; it's really a mix of people not being fazed at all by it and being patient, others giving a scared or worried look, or the worst of them all would be a laughing or smirking expression...those people tend to not really hear what you have said at all and just think they're better than you.

  ·      When is your speech most fluent?  When is it the least fluent?   Why do you think that is?

It is the most fluent when I'm not tired, or distracted. It's the least fluent when I'm tired, stressed or nervous, distracted like driving and talking, and when I'm on the phone.  I understand why it's worse when I'm tired and distracted but as far as the phone, I don't know. You would think that because the other person can't see me it would be easier but it is not. It's actually my most diffucult stuttering situation. 

            So, this is who I am.  This is what this project of mine is all about.  I really hope you will be a part of it.  If you or anyone you know stutters, please share this information and contact me to be a part of this.  The more people who participate, the more awareness we can raise together and hopefully, just hopefully some people will begin to understand that to stutter is not what defines a person.  Join me!  Share, post on Facebook or Instagram, Tweet, and spread the word. 

   Next in the series will be my Dad (who also stutters) followed by those who have opted to participate.

[email protected]

I look forward to connecting with you and hearing your story!

-Branden

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS PROJECT: