Branden Winter

Raymond

Walking between two film trucks down a shaded narrow ally in Downtown Los Angeles, we came across Raymond. He was rifling through dumpsters looking for pieces of metal, recyclables, anything that could be salvaged for money. He shared how he has family all over the place who will help when he allows them to. Raymond talked about how he prays everyday and preaches that God is not going to help anyone unless they help themselves. Constantly working as he talked, only standing still briefly to take a drink from his cup resting on his filled cart. After he had finished searching he walked with us out of the ally, expressing the dangers of looking in dumpsters and how some buildings have more addicts than others, “One needle prick and I’m done.” We parted ways as the narrow ally opened up into the harsh sun.

My first attempt at Photojournalism

I went out shooting with my friend, Sam, on Sunday June 30th.  Under Los Angeles’ 6th Street Bridge we were privileged to spend some time talking to Tracy who has been living under this bridge for over 10 years.  He mentioned that this bridge that serves as his home is to be torn down in January of 2014.  Pointing out the patchwork of repaired cement and the general decay of the art deco structure, Tracy shared his thoughts on “getting back to the main society [where] housing is the most important; involving paperwork, interviews, a new social security card and, a TB test…a lot of foot work.”  He sang two songs for us.  One of the songs Tracy had written himself called Someday, he sang for us, eyes closed, with the raw acoustics of a concrete concert hall and the hope of the gospel.

Hello Everyone,

I wanted to say thank you to all the people who have read and reposted my blog, and have given me encouragement and support.  It really means a lot to me.  As promised, my dad is the next stutterer in my project.  Most people who know me are surprised when I tell them that my Dad stutters too.  So few people realize that stuttering can be genetic.  My Dad has better control of his stuttering than I do.  Most people who meet him will not even notice the difference in his speech.  

My dad and I have a lot in common but the one thing we share the most is not wanting to “waste a day.”  In his efforts not to waste a single moment of his free time he rides horses, hikes with his dog Miley, snowshoes, rides motorcycles, and explores the gorgeous mountainous landscape where he lives on a daily basis.  One of my dad’s favorite stories he likes to tell is when I went on a horseback ride with him, my best friend and his dad, Chris.  This was only my second time ever riding a horse and it was only supposed to be a little hour-long ride.

Little did we know it would turn into a 6-hour ride, completely off the grid.  We rode the horses in snow so deep it was at the horse’s bellies.  Unable to walk normally the animals had to leap up and out of the snow to move rather than walk. When we got to the top of the mountain and begin riding down it, I was informed that if we follow the path back it would be 2 more hours of riding.  At his point I was already extremely sore and just wanted to get back home and off of this horse.  So a “short cut” was suggested.  This short cut was short indeed.  Rather than taking the horses down the trail we took them down the side of a mountain so steep that the horses has to sit on there butts and us riders had to lean as for back on the saddle while the horse slid down, straight down, while we held on for dear life.

At the bottom of the mountain, relieved that I didn’t fall off, we took the horses across a stream to get back on the trail.  The horse I was riding, Darby, later to be know as “Darby the Wonder Horse” because of his ability to ride in any terrain and never question or test any rider.  Darby was, however, terrified of water.  Rather than walking through the stream like all the other horses he decided to jump over the stream.  I didn’t really know what was happening when he jumped, I just remember him landing and I was still on the saddle, which was sideways, my left leg up in the air where my body use to be.,,should have been.  My friend muttered “wow” in a tone that implied he had just seen the most impressive stunt in his entire life.  I managed to grab the horn of the saddle and pull my self back up. An hour later we were home.  Getting off Darby the Wonder Horse in one piece was possibly the most difficulty thing I’ve ever had to do.  I managed to swing my right leg over the horse and finally, just as I was home safe and sound, fell to the ground.

My dad said it was an adventure and prides himself on collecting as many adventures as he can and those who venture out for a stroll with him are never denied an adventure of their very own. 

Stuttering Project Interview Questions- Bob Winter, Age - 56

·      How old were you when you first noticed that you stuttered?  5-6 years old.

·      Have you ever received any speech therapy (or any other type of treatment) for your stuttering?  How do you feel about the experience overall? Saw a family councilor at the age of 9 or 10. They said I was a middle child.  So no.

·      How would you describe your stuttering? (What are your challenges, blocks, tricks, etc.?)  Having anxiety when it is bad. Learned how to control though public speaking. Having more blocks rather than repeating words.

·      How has stuttering helped form you as the person you are today? Working harder to get more self-confident. Had to make goals for self and have to “motivational speaker” mentality to give presentations.

·      Do you feel that stuttering has given you strengths that are beneficial? What are they?  Giving the drive to be more confident.

·      What do you do for a living?  I’m a manager at Smart and Final

·      What is one thing you wish every person that you come into contact with knew about stuttering?  To be patient.

·      What is the most common reaction you get from strangers who first encounter your stuttering? It doesn’t happen that often but they try to finish sentences. It was worse when I was younger but doesn’t happen much anymore. I get in the “motivational speaker” mentality, talking with hands.

·      When is your speech most fluent?  When is it the least fluent?   Why do you think that is? Most fluent when less stress and least fluent when I am tired. 

I look forward to connecting with you and hearing your story!

-Branden

I    INFORMATION ABOUT THIS PROJECT:

I      I'am seeking people who stutter living in the greater Southern California area who would be comfortable with both their portrait and story being shared online to raise awareness.  If you or somebody you know stutter and are interested in working on this project together, please email me for more details.

At the beginning of this year I announced a new project I would be embarking upon.  As a person who has stuttered for my entire life and am a photographer I decided to merge these two parts of my life to create a portrait project about people who stutter.  After my first announcement of the stuttering project I have been receiving an awesome response from friends, family, strangers, and a few stuttering blogs that have agreed to support our effort by reposting once the project has begun. The project has officially begun. Since I am going to take portraits of people who stutter and interview them, it only seems fair for me to be the first one to volunteer for this project. My hope is that by starting with my own portrait and sharing the very information I seek from others this first portrait will give those interested (but perhaps slightly hesitant) a better idea of what this project is all about.

            I noticed that I stuttered at an early age. My Mom told me a story of when I was in pre-school, asking her why I “talked different.” Growing up stuttering was my cross to bear.  Difficult as it was, I was quite skilled in hiding it through elementary, middle, and high school. I tried to blend into my surroundings by sitting in the back of the class and never asking questions even when I knew the answers or didn't understand the lesson and needed help.  Anonymity was my survival.  It was my coping mechanism.  It wasn't until I was in college that I learned to make peace with my stutter and realized, decided that stuttering is not my one defining characteristic. Thankfully, with age comes confidence.  Confidence, paired with some tricks and maneuvers that were years in the making, led me to bring my stutter to the forefront instead of hiding in the back of class.  Life experience made me realize that being open and honest about the fact that I stutter puts people at ease.  The first time I talk to a new person I casually mention that I stutter and it not only gets it out of the way so I feel at ease but it puts the person I'm talking to at ease because they know that I stutter, I'm comfortable with it and in turn they feel the same.

            Dealing with the anger and other difficulties of growing up with a stutter allowed me to finally learn to have a sense of humor about stuttering, about myself.  For example, in a college English class the professor did“popcorn reading,”where someone reads a paragraph and then picks another person in the class to read the next paragraph at random. As a child I was ALWAYS chosen to read aloud and in some extreme cases teachers would either make me read out loud constantly or the opposite would happen and they would never call on me at all.  Either way there was a special sort of prejudice.  I was treated differently because of stuttering.  It's one of those things that has stuck with me as an adult.  So as I was called to read the paragraph in my college English class, I just said “Um I stutter so if you want to get though this chapter today you might want to pick someone else.”Problem solved.  College courses also require every student to give a lot of presentations, myself included.  So I would open every time with“Hello, I'm Branden.  I just want to let you know I will stutter thoughout my presentation so there's no need to freak out.”  Once the fact that I stuttered was out in the open it was more comfortable for everyone involved and because my stuttering is closely related to stress and anxiety, I would stutter less after opening with a line like that. We often hide in plain sight and I'm here to tell you how much better life is when you can finally just be yourself and stop letting stuttering define you completely.

            As an adult I have proactively dealt with stuttering in a number of ways.  I've been to support groups and gotten to know a number of others who stutter.  I started and graduated from college and refused to ever let my speech hold me back from what I wanted in life.  Throughout my life and learning experiences with stuttering as a whole one thing that is so prevalent is how little the general public knows about stuttering and how often those who do stutter continue to hide.  My purpose in doing this project is to get a conversation going and to get stuttering out in the open.  I also wanted to raise some awareness about stuttering which effects about 1% of the world's population.  I know it doesn't sound like a lot but it really is and yet how many stutterers have you really come across??? 

  Stuttering Project Interview Questions- Branden Winter Age- 32

·      How old were you when you first noticed that you stuttered?

My mom told me that I asked her why I talk different in preschool, but I don't think I remember noticing until I was in kindergarten.

  ·      Have you ever received any speech therapy (or any other type of treatment) for your stuttering?  How do you feel about the experience overall?

Yes, I received speech therapy as a child through the school district where I was put in the same speech class as kids with intellecual disabilities, none of which I actually had. I was also in private speech therapy outside of school where they taught us incredibly bad habits because during that time no one really knew how to treat stuttering. As an adult I had better experiences. I attended Cal State Long Beach for college and it was there that I had therapy over a summer and a semester, along with going to a stuttering support group for several years.  I do feel that the treatment available today is far better than what I received as a child. 

·      How would you describe your stuttering? (What are your challenges, blocks, tricks, etc.?)

I have mostly blocks. I also display secondary facial expressions during blocks.

  ·      How has stuttering influenced you as the person you are today?

I think it has made me a person with a lot of patience because I know patience is required to talk to me. It's made me a more caring person in that I'm more aware and sensitive to people with any array of difficulties in their lives.  Stuttering has influenced my life in some other ways as well.   

  ·      Do you feel that stuttering have given you strengths that are beneficial? What are they?

Growing up with my mouth shut I spent a lot of my childhood as an observer and that has really given me an extra awareness of those around me.  It's also made me an excellent judge of character.

  ·      What do you do for a living?

I work with children and adults with various mental disorders.

  ·      What role does stuttering play in your job?

Stuttering plays a big role at my job. My job requires me to constantly interact with clients, their parents, and coworkers throughout the day.  I am also regularly required to give presentations to large groups of people.

  ·      What is one thing you wish every person that you come into contact with knew about stuttering?

I wish people would just be patient instead of instantly assuming that because I might take a little longer to speak that I have some mental deficiency. 

  ·      What is the most common reaction you get from strangers who first encounter your stuttering?

It really depends on the situation; it's really a mix of people not being fazed at all by it and being patient, others giving a scared or worried look, or the worst of them all would be a laughing or smirking expression...those people tend to not really hear what you have said at all and just think they're better than you.

  ·      When is your speech most fluent?  When is it the least fluent?   Why do you think that is?

It is the most fluent when I'm not tired, or distracted. It's the least fluent when I'm tired, stressed or nervous, distracted like driving and talking, and when I'm on the phone.  I understand why it's worse when I'm tired and distracted but as far as the phone, I don't know. You would think that because the other person can't see me it would be easier but it is not. It's actually my most diffucult stuttering situation. 

            So, this is who I am.  This is what this project of mine is all about.  I really hope you will be a part of it.  If you or anyone you know stutters, please share this information and contact me to be a part of this.  The more people who participate, the more awareness we can raise together and hopefully, just hopefully some people will begin to understand that to stutter is not what defines a person.  Join me!  Share, post on Facebook or Instagram, Tweet, and spread the word. 

   Next in the series will be my Dad (who also stutters) followed by those who have opted to participate.

[email protected]

I look forward to connecting with you and hearing your story!

-Branden

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS PROJECT:

The Homestead Collection No.1

The Homestead Collection No. 2