We got a history substitute to take the place of our teacher for a few months and these are some snippets from his class.
-Student: "How was your weekend?"
Him: "No"
-"Do you remember last week when I told you about the Russians burning Hitler's body? I lied."
-Student: "It's like, for one dollar."
Him: "That's cheap. No wonder everybody has diabetes."
-"Chicago style? Do we need to look at that?" *Murmurs of agreement* "Too bad, I didn't prepare anything."
-"Ah footnoting, haven't done it in 15 years."
-"What's that buzzword they use in teaching nowadays? Growth mindset!"
-"Back in my day we'd just ask an expert, jokes on you I'm not an expert."
-"Bibliografulololo, bibliography, yep. That's what I meant to say, right."
-"This is the best way to do footnotes. APA is lame."
-"'I love pizza and other reasons why Hitler sucks', I should write a book!"
-"My nonexistent book is a bestseller in Hong Kong right now."
-"'How to lie about history and get paid for it", I should really write a book."
-"Bam, thanks autocomplete, what would I do without you?"
-"Yawn? Yon? Yōn? Ah, Yuen!"
-Student "what should we write about?"
Him: "do you mean the essay that's due today?"
Student: "... Yes."
-"let's just kill all the boomers off"
-"we're all in this together! I think."
-"Does it accelerate? Yes. Maybe. I don't know. I might be lying."
-"bomb. Bom. Obama!"
