#studyblr asks

I wish your dream becomes true 👩‍⚕️

17. What’s your preferred method of taking in caffeine?

iced vanilla latte, two sugars

20. Do you listen to music while you study?

yes! i either do classical music or lo-fi

46. Do you have pre-test rituals and what are they?

I'm so sorry anon, I drafted an answer and then completely forgot to post it 😭😭😭

the main programming languages I've seen are c++ and python. there's also julia (new), and fortran (🥴).

so its great you already know c++! personally I've used athena++ code for simulations if you wanted a simulation code to play with.

but python would be good to play around with if you're not familiar, its great for visualization / data analysis! I started by learning the syntax and about packages like numpy, matplotlib, and astropy. "Python for Astronomers" may be helpful if you need a resource for learning, it has a free textbook and some tutorials. part of my undergrad computational astrophysics course could was based on it! another fun package is yt, you can look up "python yt cookbook" or click here. this website also gives you sample data from a simulation run and lots of tutorials.

julia is not as widely used but its supposed to have the intuitiveness of python with the performance/speed of c++. it's a newer language, like 10 years old. I've heard that there is a (very slow) shift to this language in the astrophysics community instead of python. I don't have any resources because I haven't gotten around to learning it yet 😅

fortran is an older language, I can't say I'm familiar with it. I've only encountered it in a skeleton simulation code a postdoc was developing (and I was testing the code) so I just know basic syntax. you'd probably be fine not learning it, unless you want to develop your own simulation code soon

(i hope your exams went well!! <3)

Heyyyy gurl 💓💓 how is your day going??? My finals went pretty well Alhamdullilah now two more exams are left 😭

13) Favorite STEM field?

Mathematics (are we surprised? NO lol hahahaha)

14) Favorite humanities subject?

Geography and History and maybe Sociology [I study these subjects in my spare time it's so fun especially I love studying about different civilizations (currently I'm planning to study about ancient egypt civilization after exams) and the history of countries and all the revolutions which were not a part of my school curriculum]

35) Most profound thing ever said to you by a teacher/professor?

Hii♡♡

this summer has been pretty hard on me mentally for a few reasons. being back home with family, as I live across the country for university and even studied abroad this semester, it’s always an adjustment living with people I love but sometimes struggle dealing with. i’m also back to an environment where I have no strict schedule, less friends, no privacy, no personal space, etc., and i got pretty sick for a portion of the summer.

this is my last summer before i graduate and i put many expectations on myself for how it would go (fun/personal life wise, but also academics/career wise). despite this sense of urgency and also these expectations, this past month of june i basically just rotted away in my bed, feeling depressed and anxious and not really doing anything about it. i did go out and about a few times and even got myself hired for two jobs, but there were so many responsibilities i ignored while rotting away and just feeling miserable for myself. now im finally clawing my way out of this hole i dug for myself, and im realizing how much i screwed myself over—all of the things i need to do would have been so much easier and enjoyable (!!!!!) had i not procrastinated. it feels like my memory for june is mainly just a haze when it could have been so great.

my question is—how do i cope with these feelings of self-disappointment, and almost self-disgust for the time i lost? for the moments i could have been better but didn’t? how do i cope with the knowledge that my summer could have looked totally different now, and that the power was in my hands to change it? the rest of my summer is looking pretty busy as i scramble to pick up the missing pieces, and im sad because i wanted it to feel special since it’s my last summer of university. any time i acknowledge the challenges i faced and the victories i did have just feels like making excuses for myself.

anyways, sorry for this ramble, and thank you for your time! i hope you are doing well and enjoying yourself.

Hello, dearest. First of all I want to tell you that I am so proud of you. I know right now you’re struggling with these heavy feelings, and it’s important to know that despite your inner struggles you are seen and loved and respected by those around you.

It sounds like you have worked very hard and been very busy for a long time. I know as a full time college student myself that the amount of work expected of us is often unbearable. People talk about it like a simple process, a part time commitment. It is not! You have been working a constant minimum of a full time job, plus additional work for pay, plus travel, plus family and friends needs, plus basic self care. Of course all of this can be so overwhelming and lead to a sense of burn out. Changing the language you use is giving reasons is not making excuses. Cultivate a mindset of correcting yourself:

“I’m making excuses -> I’m acknowledging the challenges and moving forward.”

I found quickly into college my high achiever mindset flipped into a constant sense of failure. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, and like I just fell behind everyone else I respect. I wallowed in this for far too long, so trust me when I tell you not to spend all your time worrying about the past. Everyone has had a time like these, sometimes weeks, months, and sometimes years. But it is never too late to change the present and future.

You may not feel like it, but if summer meant laying in bed and barely doing anything maybe that’s what you needed. If your body and mind were too beaten down to do much, that’s not your fault. Remember that you are just one person, and this was one summer. You will have countless more summers to live out your dreams. Summer 2022 I barely left my room, depression, anxious, I pretty much rotted in bed! I was burnt out and struggling. Summer 2023 I worked my ass off at my new job, made friends, and started going to parties and even a music festival. Summer 2024 is now, and I’m in a solid mix of work, school, friends, and working to take care of myself. Life will not always look how we imagine it too, but often it will turn out much better.

Nothing that has already happened can be changed, all you have power over is the current and the future. Tons of people express the same sentiment to me

“I didn’t do X and now all I do is Y and it makes me feel Z so I don’t do X!”

And I totally understand! But this is the trap right here! This is what resembles the grave but isn’t! The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done the more past you create where you didn’t do what you wanted. It is so important to develop the ability to go “oh well, what do I want Now?” This takes practice. When you catch yourself in the internal doomscroll of all that you should have done, literally say “oh well, that’s the past. What do I want to do right now and how can I do it?”

Actions you can take:

- Make a list of goals you have tiered by right away, short term, medium term, and long term. Make sure to include a tier for goals that feel impossible! You’d be surprised what you can do!

- Start by picking one thing you want to change. Go on a walk every day, listen to an audiobook or music on that walk. Bam! Two enriching activities at once. Cook one new recipe a week or every other week.

- When at home from school, work to establish your independence in the home. This is hard! Family dynamics vary, but if you can, try to communicate with your family about personal space and boundaries. Perhaps rearrange your space at home to fit your needs as a more adult space while still maintaining your nostalgic environment.

- Cultivate a positive mindset and excitement for what comes next. This summer is not just an end, it’s a beginning! What do you want next? You can have it if you believe in yourself.

A final piece of advice. I started college with such high hopes and dream of what it would be. The summers with friends, late night studying in the library, goofing off between classes, getting to be this dream idealized self. For various reasons, this didn’t happen. I felt so angry that my experience with college had been tainted and forcefully taken from me, and I stayed angry for a while. This constant obsession with regret starts to eat you alive until you can’t see how good things are right in this moment. This did not get better because I somehow changed the past, it got better because I accepted that this was an idealized dream of one tiny part of my life. It got better when I started aiming towards the future. It’s ok to feel sad that you didn’t get what you wanted, but that doesn’t mean you never will. I am happier for moving on and saying I’d had enough grieving a hypothetical. You are real, you are young and alive and filled with dreams. It will never be too late, and there is nothing you could have missed this summer that cannot be achieved in a happier and healthier situation.

Start making today special. You are filled with light, dreams, and love. You will create the life you dreamed of, filled with adventure and happiness. Treat yourself tenderly, this is your first time being alive, the first last summer of college. You are learning and growing. I am so proud of you as you are now, and all that you will become. Keep the sparks alive, and I’m always here if you need someone to support or another senior in college to lean on!

I hope this helps!

Evan

P.S. here’s a poem that’s helped me!

I totally understand that feeling and I get to far to often. I am both a chronic procrastinator and an over achiever so I often want to be productive but just can't do the thing. My ADHD may also be a factor in that but coping with that has helped me figure out ways to maneuver that writers block. Here's a few things I've found that help me!

To-Do lists! I live and thrive on to-do lists. I try to look at whatever syllabus I have for classes or outlines that I've made for myself of what needs to be done and what I want to get done. I prioritize things that I know need to be done sooner rather than later and estimate how long these things will each take. I always overshoot how long they will take so that I budget my time a bit more.

Outings- my friends and I call this "walkies." This is when I've been sitting at my desk for like an hour and I just keep getting distracted or I can't get started. I round up a list of things that need doing (like grocery shopping) and get out of the house for like an hour. Sometimes this looks more like getting coffee and wandering around a store for a while but there's only so many errands that need doing.

I always always always need to be dressed in order to get any work done. This kind of goes along with the "walkies," I have to get dressed and get shoes on (the shoes are very important) in order to be able too focus myself on getting tasks done. For me this looks like getting up, taking a shower, putting on jeans and a shirt, doing my make up, etc. But for someone else this might look like just putting on a different shirt.

The last thing that helps me get into a focused workspace is a change in location. When I was on campus for school this often meant leaving my dorm and going to the library or a common space or even driving a ways away to barnes and noble. Sometimes I need a bit of outside stimulus in order to get myself in to a more productive mindset.

I actually had to google what tertiary means xD You really do learn new words every day! I'm assuming this means like university, but please correct me if I misinterpreted that :D

There is currently a new university being built no more than 15 minutes from where I live and they specialise in technical subjects, so I really hope I can study there when I finish my current education. I'm in the graduating class of 2026, so we'll have to see whether it will actually be done by then. If it does manage to offer its first courses by the time I'm of university age, I wish to enrol in their Artificial Intelligence course!