#stuart harper

Me trying to get people to watch The Frighteners with this.

But, seriously, watch The Frighteners.

Frank: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Lucy: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Frank: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Lucy: Is it working?

—

Frank: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Lucy: That's great, Frank. Especially considering the fact we've been married for twenty-five years.

—

Frank: Hey, Luce, what are your favorite flowers?

Lucy: Forget-me-nots, why?

Frank:

Lucy: Were you going to get me flowers?

Frank:

Lucy:

Frank: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

—

Frank: *seductively takes off the reading glasses I absolutely headcanon that he owns*

Frank: Wow...

Lucy: *blushes* Haha... what?

Frank: You're really fucking blurry.

— 

Lucy: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Frank: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Lucy: That one. I want that one.

— 

Frank: Luce, I wasn’t even hurt that badly. After all, you said that my bleeding was internal. That’s were the blood’s supposed to be!

— 

Cyrus, after he died: If you get killed, what happens to all your debt? LOOPHOLE!

—

Frank: I need you to be scary Judge.

Judge: Oh, I Love being scary Judge! He always says what regular Judge is thinkin’.

“Scary” Judge: THIS IS TAKIN' TOO LONG!! I’M GONNA MISS THE FARMER’S MARKET!

— 

Lucy: If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.

Ray: If I were to follow that rule, then I’d have to stop talking all together.

Lucy: Yeah…that’s the idea.

— 

Frank: You know you don’t have to sign your texts.

Dr. Kamins: Dear Frank, suggestion noted. Sincerely, Dr. Henry Kamins.

— 

Frank: I love saying ‘my wife’ it sounds so adult. *points at Lucy* That’s my wife.

— 

Lucy: You could pour soup in my lap and I’d apologize to you.

— 

Creepy resident: Would you say my chin beard is working?

Anthea: It’s working in terms of keeping me a lesbian.

— 

Frank: I do not *gaze* at Lucy...

Cyrus and Stuart, internally: C’mon, man...

— 

Debra in Heaven: You think I enjoy being mother hen to you two?

Cyrus and Stuart: ...

Debra: Okay fine, it’s like crack to me.

— 

Anthea: Give me back my phone!

Creepy resident: It’s mine.

Anthea: Oh, really? Does yours have a picture of Molly in the background?

Creepy resident: ... Yes?

Anthea: Ha! Trick question! Mine’s got Cybill Shepherd, see?

— 

Frank: You know what I want to do to you tonight?

Lucy: What?

Frank: *leans in to whisper*

Frank:

Lucy: You didn’t say anything.

Frank: I know. I was going to say something really kinky, but then I got embarrassed. 

— 

*when Stuart and Cyrus first came to Frank’s house*

Stuart: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?

Word Count: 552

Warnings: Mentions of a character death, grief/mourning, description of a jump scare, past spousal death, past parent death, past child abuse

Fandom: The Frighteners

Pairings: Frank Bannister x Debra Bannister (past/mentioned)

Okay, so this isn't a Lunnister piece, since it's set pre-canon, but this was mentioned in my fic, The Threshold of Something New. And, I get to explore Frank's dynamic with Stuart, Cyrus, and the Judge.

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