#stone identities

See, this may come as a surprise to you, but people don't owe you sexual act. They don't. You can find someone sexually compatible with you, but even then, you're still not entitled to a certain sexual act. If they bail midway, it is well within their rights to do that.

Yes, even that fem/me that doesn't wanna give in bed. No, she's not being evil or a bitch for not wanting to give. Don't make me go into a tangent how being feminine-presenting often subject us to perform sexual/romantic labor and when it's not fulfilled, we are seen as wicked. Doesn't that sound familiar??

Otherwise, what else would you have them do?? Force themselves to please you?? Do you not see how that looks like?? Do I need to tell you that coercion is not okay??

Being stone 4 stone has healed me in ways I didn't even know I needed, healed me in places of my heart I didn't even understand were wounded.

Stone butches, studs & femmes, dykes with stone identities I love you. I love you so much. I hope you know that you're worth loving in a way that makes you comfortable, that makes you happy, that makes you horny if that's what you want.

Never let anyone tell you you're broken, that you need to be fixed, that you should melt for the right person, that you're selfish or that you're not doing enough.

Why are we being used as an insult?

I'm 30 and until about 4 to 5 years ago I thought I was a broken lesbian because of things like this.

There is nothing wrong with stone identities or pillow princesses.

I see people asking '' is it bad'' or if they are bad, and some people just answering yes. Like??? I just know some are gonna feel wrong, just like I did. Just like others do or did.

Sid Dorey, you should be ashamed of yourself. (they are on tiktok with this song, I'm not putting a link as I refuse to promote them on my tumblr but it's awful.)

How can you claim to be a part of our community and ridicule us in such a VILE way.

I hope many of us stand up to this and show how wrong this is because I legit feel like crying. This internal little part of shame I will always carry just got hurt all over again.

High femmes, pillow princesses

I love them with all my heart theres just something so beautiful and selfless in the ways you trust others with pleasing you

You receive touch within your boundaries and through your pleasure let us tops feel good too

You dont need to reciprocate for it to be meaningful, your boundary is valid and there are many people out there who will respect it with no expectations of crossing that boundary.

We stone butches adore you and find safety and love in your boundary just as you find the same in ours

Dont settle for people who dont understand that being high femme is a boundary and instead think is a challenge or selfish

Theres many people out there who will thrive positively with your boundary and you will thrive in return off theirs

I spend years thinking because of that, that I was a failed lesbian, so I had to go to men. It's only been about 2years through therapy and by finding out there are people who actually like stone person's like myself that I started to let myself be me again.

But when I see posts about how: it can't be possible and everyone has to be switch or otherwise there's something wrong with you or you're selfish, that have many notes or likes or comments of other lesbians saying ''omg yes I don't understand it either'' ''how can people only take and just lay there''

We don't just lay there?? We are present. It's not because we just receive that we are laying there lifeless, that's like a whole other fetish btw, but anyway. Even though I am comfortable with who I am now, it still hurts me, and it makes me so angry.

No worries sweetheart 💕

it’s common for people to think “stone” only refers to tops who don’t receive so to speak. but stone identities are much more nuanced. You can be a stone top or stone bottom. The general gist is:

Stone Tops: Exclusively “give”

Stone Bottom: Exclusively “receive”

now what that means can vary person to person in terms of exact limits and boundaries.

the counterpart to a “stone butch” is typically called a “stone femme” or “high femme”.

It’s stereotypically assumed that the butch tops and the femme bottoms, but stone top ≠ butch & stone bottom ≠ femme

for me, being a stone femme means that I don’t penetrate my partners, i don’t strap & i don’t do oral, (unless we count sucking the strap 🤔)