#state 35

VA: *startled* I-I didn’t even raise a question, but continue, I guess?

WV: I am going to trust God.

VA: T-that’s great, West! I’m happy for you - 

WV: I am God. 

TX: okay, yeah, sure, when you say it like that it doesn’t sound believable.

WV: *see KY walking by* Oh, hey, KY, did you see the file of new legislation that I left for you on your seat?

KY: Oh, yeah, I looked it over. Nice work.

WV: Thanks, dad. 

*all the states stop* 

WV: Why is everyone staring at me?

OH: You just called KY ‘dad.’ You just said, ‘thanks dad.’

WV: What? No I didn’t, I said, ‘thanks man.’

KY: *incredibly awkward* Do you, uh, see me as a father-figure?

WV: What? No. If anything I see you as a ‘bother figure,’ cause you’re always bothering me.

DE: Hey! Show your father some respect!

WV: I didn’t call him ‘dad’!

KY: *clear throat* No, no, no, West. It’s alright. I take it as a compliment.

TX: You did call him ‘dad’, dude.

WV: You shut-up, you’ve done nothing but lie since you got here.

TX: Okay, so the gun and the robbery, I was lying about that. But you did call him ‘dad.’

WV: Ah-ha! So he admitted that his alibi was a lie. It was a trap! All part of my crazy, devious plan.

KY: I believe you.

WV: Thank you.

KY: Pal.

WV: Ugh.

KY: You wanna talk about this later over a game of catch?

WV: *staring down at their notes* I’d like that. 

Bonus

VA: I don’t understand! 

GA: It’s okay, VA, some people just fit better with others-

WV: If I was locked on a room with H*tler, st*lin, and you and I had a pistol with only two bullets, I'd shoot both of them and then brain you with the pistol.

VA: ....

VA: I literally just wanted to know if you wanted to grab a bite to eat.

WV: I think I'd rather die.