#even god

im sorry if the way i worship is made up of flesh and bones, machinery and wires, but that is the best way i can be. i ache to be loved so badly that ill do all this and more just to please any gods that might be listening. god is said to be perfect, and replacing my parts with machines will help me be that too, i think. ill be a perfect little mess of metal and gore (piercings, basically, but in the most holy and intimate way possible i think)

(speaking of intimacy, we arent even gonna talk ab my worship-like love language-- p sure this can be tied back to religious trauma too)

"god created you in his image" well, his image must be a filthy, screaming, thrashing and incredibly vicious creature then, because thats what i am. why would god say he loves us and then make us in his image; spiteful, angry, hurting things that cower in corners and lash out at those we think we can just to ease our own suffering

just tell us that youre upset buddy, im listening, i promise! stop creating us like this, it hurts everyone involved