Any general Utowin hcs you want to share with the class? 👀
SO MANY I spent like 5 days adding to these...
The later chunk is written x reader style (by accident oopsies) but can apply to whatever ship platonic dynamic you want lol.
He gets awful nightmares, usually of being unable to move while watching something horrific happen. Always wakes up screaming, which used to piss off his bunk mates. Now that he has his own room in the great hall, he absolutely refuses overnight company. No one is allowed to stay the night, and he won't sleep elsewhere. He does not want to relive that embarrassment.
He usually goes to sleep early, but the nightmares prevent him from getting decent sleep. That, and even on his worst days, he's still getting up at 5am to grind at the gym,
So much toxic masculinity in that man. But only towards himself; he is VEHEMENTLY against anyone acting the way he does about food/exercise/emotions/etc.
He always works holidays. His family doesn't really welcome him home, and he doesn't exactly have people inviting him over. He doesn't get presents either— not many people close to him. The closest I can think of is Easthies, who would get everyone the fantasy equivalent of a 5$ starbucks giftcard.
No one's remembered his birthday in about 20 years, and he's gotten— somewhat used to it. He usually replies that he doesn't really like celebrating things, if someone asks why he's working and has no evening plans on a day he'd be expected to. He does in fact, quite enjoy celebrations, but no one's throwing a party for turning 32 so he sees it as just something he never got, simple as that.
More in terms of work, he is always working overtime. Copious amounts of it. (i'm not projecting my 84 hour workweek nooooo not at all).
He was medically neglected as a child. His parents didn't pay much attention to him, as he wasn't very talented magically. His sickness was seen as an excuse to get out of school, and his pain as an excuse to do less.
Got a mundane infection (perhaps strep) as a kid, and due to a lack of treatment and overworking, ended up having it for a bit over a year straight. Left him with lifelong affects that he ignores.
Runs himself to the ground and will isolate himself if he gets to the point of having to call off anything. He thinks he doesn't deserve to be taken care of when he's sick.
“It's my fault I'm sick; I should've taken better care of myself” when he's sick. “I'm fine, it's nothing, I can keep going” when he's getting sick and continues to overwork himself.
He especially thinks he doesn't deserve to be taken care of when he's flaring. “No one else needs that”— he doesn't think he deserves accommodations.
He’ll run away from the things he wants the most because he doesn't think he deserves to be there. His coworkers assume he's got a heavy deal of toxic masculinity, and doesn't want to be perceived as tender.
He gets almost a sort of performance anxiety when it comes to comfort. That's one thing he never outgrew.
He doesn't think he'll succeed at most things, so he doesn't try; can’t make a fool of yourself if you never reach past shoulder-height.
If you asked him why he always runs the way he does he'd probably say something about how he'd stay if someone asked him to. If you pointed out the hypocrisy in that statement paired with his refusal to ask anyone to stay, he'd simply reply “Well its different if it's me”.
He knows he's a hypocrite. It's on the laundry list of things he hates about himself. But with the list so long, he struggles to view himself as a person. To his own eyes, Utowin is a failure and nothing more than that. His only use is to “Yes, Sir!” his superiors.
He short circuits immediately at physical touch. He won't initiate typically, at least not at first; he's terrified of rejection.
When his hair is ruffled, his body will lean into the touch at first, like a dog craning its neck to get more pets. Once he gets his brain back into focus, he'll pull away and apologize for his hair being so greasy
He does not take the best care of himself; his hair is cut into an undercut because the mats at the base of his neck got so bad it felt easier to just shave them off.
He usually rolls this into a bit of him being a self-proclaimed manchild, but he was just never really taught how. He tries, but he's missing a lot of key information on how to do basic tasks— everything from personal hygiene to cooking. He's too embarrassed to ask for help.
The best way to get him to allow himself to be taken care of is to say you need practice.
If you say it's for him, he'll insist he doesn't need it, or that he doesn't deserve it— in either case he'll tell you not to bother. If you say it's because you want to, he won't believe you.
But if you're just practicing on him? Well now he's just being helpful. That in and of itself is a comfort for him. He'll let you do anything to/for him if you say he's just the practice dummy. It's the most comfortable way to be vulnerable for him.
Under the above circumstances, he softens quickly at physical affection. He'd be a little tense at first, but two minutes of running your fingers through his hair has him melting in your arms asleep. It's not intentional, it's just so rare that he's able to truly relax that the exhaustion catches up rather quickly.
If he does manage to stay awake, he makes a lot of little involuntary noises. And then promptly feels embarrassed about them.
Puts on a frat bro persona when he gets embarrassed. Uses being a manchild as a shield to avoid having to actually admit any of his feelings or struggles in a non-joking manner.
Needs a lot of prompting to get anything done; Major overthinker who enjoys being ordered to enact simple tasks that don't require too much thought. Likes to turn his brain off as much as possible.
He adores cuddles more than anything but he's also quite bony, and usually sweaty, regardless of whether he's hot or cold. He's well aware he doesn't give the best cuddles, and therefore rarely offers them.
Head on his chest with his cape wrapped around you like a blanket in an elite position however. His heart rate is a bit fast, but the steady beat is comforting regardless.
He can be easily calmed by being held, but won't usually accept it. The trick is to act like it's a service for you— if you complain you're cold and he's warm and wrap your arms around his back, he'll pull you closer to keep you warm. Not even noticing the way his own breathing calms as he rubs a thumb back and fork over your arm (to keep you warm, obviously)
He switches between Manchild and Caretaker at the drop of a hat. They are responses to the situation at hand, but that doesn't mean they're not “the real him”. He hates being told he doesn't have to act a certain way, because it's not usually voluntary.
He enjoys both his Manchild time and his Caretaker time in moderation. It's when he's shoved too much into one box (most often Manchild), that it wears him down.
If he has a long day of being treated like he's dumb or incompetent, or if he feels useless in general, all he wants to do is comfort and care. On those days, the best comfort you could provide him is to just let him take care of you. It sounds backwards, but it rings true.
If you taught him how to cook your favorite foods, he would he see it as a great kindness towards him. A kindness that shall be returned by him making said foods over, and over again.
He loves to sit with people when they cry. He especially loves the feeling of someone crying against him…
He's not always the best with his words. He's grown more tender with age, but he still freezes up when he has to go beyond simple reassurances.
He much prefers a situation where there's a clear task he can take over. You're overworked? That's easy! He'll take as much of your workload as he can; fumbling through household chores and bringing home takeout is simple, mindless affection for him.
Is there is a burden he can't take away? He doesn't know what to do. He'll offer physical touch briefly, then hesitate, his hand just centimeters above yours but not quite touching. It feels too easy, too selfish to him. He doesn't deserve to be allowed to comfort in a way that also brings him comfort.
Someone he cares about crying against his chest… their breathing slowing— them wrapping their limbs around him. His fingers running absentmindedly through their hair.
He wouldn't understand why this brought you comfort, even if it would also bring him comfort. He tends to be a bit dense when it comes to what people want, especially when that goes again what hes used to.
The self hatred messes with his ability to properly respond to people's cues. He'll pick up that you're upset, but will default to assuming people want to be alone when they're upset. Alone from him, at the very least.
More than anything, he craves to be wanted only for his presence. However, if you told him you wanted him only for his presence, he wouldn't believe you. Stubborn idiot/aff.
