#starry asks

9 times out of 10, Bruce's genes stood no chance 😂

TERFs are horrendous, cruel people I want nothing to do with. It seemed like all the feminism I saw was intertwined with them, and I ended up so distanced from things that resonated with me, like riot grrl even, because I didn't know how to make sense of hating men while being one, and having loved ones who were men, and being trans and having no tolerance for the transphobia I saw so much of in feminist spaces.

I was kind of refreshed seeing "TRFs" because... I wanted trans inclusive feminism, so badly. I have so much pain and anger about myself & the women in my family & in general being horrifically abused by men, and them just getting away with it, but I was so wary of "man hating" even though emotionally I hated men bc trauma (it was really hard to accept I was transmasc, I had to convince myself men aren't bad... But now I'm like, ok they're not inherently evil obvs, but societally misogyny is real, and men are able to hurt women without consequences.... Which does mean they're dangerous, and they don't usually do much to challenge the system that allows this... I'm back to not trusting men... Including trans men because I've seen how they hurt marginalized women and get away w it. I've been hurt badly by every gender but men are allowed to do so without consequences.)

I thought you were transfem, I hadn't seen your posts about things like this before somehow. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else with a similar icon but I was confused seeing you use the term TRF so negatively bc I only have seen transmascs who are imo being reactive use that- not trying to accusatory, I just think a lot of us take trans women's complaints too personally instead of understanding they are rightly frustrated by a world very against them...

im unsure if you are a new-ish follower of mine, or somehow have just not happened upon my posts about being against radical feminism before, but ive been anti-radfem for Years, and have been Very vocal about such especially because i have been harrassed so much by them due to me being a bi lesbian, and having very actively posted about bi lesbianism (so much so that i made various mspec flags and symbols, made my side blog @ bi-lesbian, and have even been accused by a hateful anon for "making bi lesbians a thing" despite bi lesbianism being around before i was born lmao). and i dont really identify as transfem or transmasc personally, im genderfluid- i am a man, a woman, and various forms of nonbinary all at once- which is also not something radfems tend to be too happy about.

feminism- when properly intersectional, has conversations on how the patriarchy affects and harms everyone in various ways (including based on gender, sexuality, race, and more), and focuses on actually productive ways to work towards equality- is incredible!

but heres the thing that needs to be understood about radical feminism: it is an extremist and reactionary movement that is rife with bigotries. while it is born of pain- its undeniable that many radfems have been hurt, and hurt severely- that doesnt excuse the pain that radfems themselves inflict.

the transphobia in tons of radfem spaces is only one of the many bigotries rampant among them. and frankly, as ive discussed here and there in some of my previous posts, it frustrates me so much that many people have focused all of their criticism against TERF-ism rather than radical feminism as a whole precisely because now so many people do not realize that the transphobia is not the only thing wrong with TERF-ism.

transphobia is only one manifestation of whats wrong with radical feminism, it is not the ROOT of the issue. the deep, underlying problem inherent to it all is the intense demonization of men, to the point that it even comes around to demonizing anyone with any (real or perceived) connection to men or masculinity as a whole. radical feminism is a vast ideology, not all radfems hold the exact same beliefs, and thus this demonization of men manifests in various ways: transphobia (sometimes more focused on trans women, sometimes more focused on trans men, but usually transphobic all around regardless of what they claim), biphobia, homophobia, racism, intersexism, exorsexism, aphobia, polyamphobia, butchphobia, hatred towards kink and sex work- i could go on.

ill give you some examples of what i mean by some of these:

bi women are treated as untrustworthy for loving and associating with men, and lesbian separatism was formed to force them out of lesbianism as a whole, as lesbian radfems deemed associating with bi women is a danger to ""real"" lesbians (aka ones who are Exclusively Women And Only Into Women). the biphobia rampant in radical feminism/lesbian separatism is particularly what ive focused a lot of my criticism in the past on, as the re-defining of lesbianism as "women exclusively loving women" (or the attempted ""more inclusive"" version of "non-men exclusively loving non-men") and erasing the shared history of lesbians and bi people, and that of various genderqueer lesbians, is a particularly sore spot for me, as you can probably guess why!

butch women have been and are hated by many radfems for "imitating" men/heterosexuality, and are accused of being misogynistic and mainting patriarchal structures.

western ideals of beauty standards and what constitutes as feminine vs masculine, combined with the demonization of masculinity, gets many woman of color- cis or trans- insulted, transvestigated, and assaulted by radfems, or by others because of radfems accusations against them.

the insistence that men are inherently dangerous disproportionately affects men of color (or people of color assumed to be men) due to the overlap of racism that already makes many view them as aggressive. a white woman fearing for her life and calling the cops over a black man just existing nearby can and has been fatal.

what lends to the extremism of radical feminism is the righteous anger from pain thats been experienced by them and others- and they stew in it. especially when many of them discourage associating with anyone outside of their group, their distrust and fears simply fester and intensify. this warps peoples sense of normalcy. it makes horrendous shit like dehumanization and harassment seem okay as long as its directed towards the Right People. it makes the dangers of the world seem to be much, much more prevalent than they actually are if the communities one is in are filled with constant talk of suffering and abuse. if you dont interact with people outside of your group, have wounds you have not healed from by some of them, and are constantly told and shown examples of the worst of the worst, then surely it must be true just how many of them are dangerous, right?

this is why, for anything, it is not helpful or healthy to limit the kinds of people you interact with, and why its ALWAYS good to listen to many varying and opposing viewpoints. you can never know just how far into a bias, bigotry, or even paranoia you might be falling into if you dont expand your horizons, think critically, and come to your own conclusions on things.

"acknowledging that men have societal power/privilege over women" is not radical feminism, that is just a simplification of the patriarchy. it IS radical feminism, however, when people run with that and treat men and women as monoliths that are always separate groups in opposition with each other, ignore the many ways in which the patriarchy harms men too (and especially various MARGINALIZED men), treat types of oppression/bigotry as never overlapping onto other groups that its not ""meant"" for (as in, ignoring how a bigot percieves your identity can determine the queerphobia you experience, even if they dont clock you as the right identity), treat privilege and oppression like static concepts rather than likelihoods of what someone may experience based on various aspects of their identity, use their status as a Victim Of Men to attack random men- especially various marginalized men as theyre easier targets- and excuse any straight up transphobia/homophobia/ableism/ageism/etc that they throw at them, treat women like theyre "tainted" for having ever slept with a man, treat trans women like invaders and trans men like traitors- again, I Could Go On.

TRFs do not properly discuss how trans people fit into their idea of feminism or misogyny. they take cis womens concept of radical feminism- black and white mentalities, binarism, and oppositional sexism and all- and try to juxtapose it onto trans people, and it simply does not work because it doesnt actually take the vast experiences of trans people and how society treats them into consideration at all. much like how a white womans feminist theory without any perspectives by black women is sorely lacking in how racism affects the misogyny one experiences, one that doesnt fully take into account all trans peoples perspectives and how being trans in any direction complicates ones place in society is dogshit feminism. truly, how many trans radfems genuinely ever take genderfluid people like me into consideration in discussions? how do WE fit into the patriarchy? am i privileged because im a man? do i oppress myself because im also a woman? do i experience misogyny or am just a perpetrator of it? do i or do i not belong in "women only" spaces? would any of them actually see or treat me as a man if they saw me in real life since im a fat curvy femme? am i dangerous because im a man, or not dangerous because im a woman or because i dont look like a man? my very existence fundamentally does not fit even remotely inside of a radical feminist worldview.

pain and rage is valid and understandable, i certainly have my own traumas from some men in my life. but what is done with that hurt and anger can and must be criticized if it is allowed to continuously cause more suffering for oneself or others. no group is a monolith, and its never excuseable to treat one as such and demonize an entire identity.

so many people, including ones im close to, have distanced themselves from the label "feminist" because of radfems, because they do not want to accidentally signal to others that they hold any of the same vitriol towards others like radfems do for so many. radfems hostility turn so many people away from discussions on feminism, and its NOT just men that are getting turned away.

i am losing steam in focus and Wording Power now so some of this post may be a bit disjointed or not as expanded as id like, but ill leave off with this:

being a man is morally neutral. being a woman is morally neutral. being nonbinary is morally neutral. any combination of genders or lackthereof hold no moral value. the prevailing idea amongst radfem circles- whether said outright or insinuated- that trans men are evil and that theyd be better as women IS blatant transphobia. it is downright false. every trans person realizing their true gender is a beautiful thing, and every one of us should get to unabashedly enjoy and celebrate being our genders.

Good luck to YOU next year twin u gyat a bit more to worry abt it seems

i know you will get through it!!

hello there!! actually, fun fact, you were the one who inspired me to start worshiping her, i discovered your blog and some of your posts and went "oh? psyche is a valid option to worship?? don't mind if i do-" and here i am over a year later, with her being one of my closest deities! so, thanks for that!!