Dude, every single damn school day I feel bad for myself. I'm a loner in class :( I have friends but they're all in different classes. And to make everything worse, "he-who-shall-not-be-named" keeps flirting with pretty Fil-Am girls in our class. Making me feel so insecure and anxious.
I can't text Jeah, cause our fucking aircon school doesn't have fucking Wifi.
Texted Kia, Maxine and Myka but too busy cause they have their own classes.
I can't do anything without you guys. I'm trying to be strong for you guys, I'm not kidding. Every time I cry in class, I hold it in and I don't let other people see me cause I want to be strong. I won't cry cause I won't lose.
But when I saw Myka, I felt like I wanted to cry on her shoulders. (But then I couldn't do that since "he-who-shall-not-be-named" was there.
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I took my time writing this so please also find time reading it :) This post was made most especially for Jeah. I promised to update her with my college life. :>
Morning.
There were people falling in line outside my classroom so I fell in line, too. I was starting to get worried because the line was not moving, and I overheard people talking about priority numbers and stuff and I don't even have one. So I gathered courage and asked a group of girls behind me if they got priority numbers, and they didn't have too. I felt better. I felt even better when I saw Mommyyy! We took the same course but we aren't blockmates :( I started to feel worried again when she asked me what I was lining up for then I said I didn't really know cause I was just following the people ahead of me. I realized that I wasn't really 100% sure that I was in the right line. Jane left, and I gathered more guts to ask again those girls behind me if they were also going to room 330. I don't think they understood my question, but one girl said yes. I also asked if they we had the same course, and the girl said yes again. But I still doubted she understood me. I felt better, though after asking them. So the line started to move, inch by inch, foot by foot, meter by meter, and more meters until the people ahead of me passed by my classroom. I was so confused and asked the girls again. Clearly they did not understand my questions. Funniest part? I found out they were Juniors. Oh. My. Gosh. I felt so embarrassed. I peeked in my classroom and there were already people inside.
All seats were taken except the first row. I had my grand entrance by the front door and all of the people fell silent because they thought I was already the professor. All eyes were on me. It was horrible. I had no choice but to sit in the front row, nearest to the door. There was a guy sitting beside my chair, and it was only the both of us in the row. It was so awkward. I actually recognized him because he was in the clinic with me when I had my check-up. You know I'm not the type who'll talk first to a guy...so I remained silent. After a minute, the guy probably couldn't stand the awkwardness so he asked me if it was okay if get to know each other. I was like sure, and he shook my hand. It was so awkward because we were at the front row. His name is Kyle. We chatted and I told him that I recognized him. :)) Then we started to make friends with the people behind us. About 10 minutes after the bell rang, our 2nd period teacher arrived. She was kind of funny. She made us introduce ourselves. Gab's turn was funny. (I only have 3 Atenean classmates: Gab de Leon, Wilfred Villaver, and Miguel Sa-a.) She asked where he was from. He said he was from AdC. Then the teacher said that she meant where he lived. =))
Lunch.
I went with the people I had befriended behind me in class. We decided to go to Jollibee across the campus. Unsurprisingly, there were no room for us. Before we left, we waited for my gradeschool gay friend Kaiser (taking HRM), cause I told her to go with us. We walked all the way to E Mall to eat. It wasn't as far as I expected. We had to cross twice, I think . I hugged my bag tightly because I was afraid of snatchers. That's one of the biggest cons of my school. The area. The surroundings. The pollution. The risk I'll take every school day.
We ate at the food court upstairs. The mall was flooded with jejemons, with you-beh students. We all ate silently.
We walked back to school just to find out we had to wait an hour and a half til the next period. An hour and a half of boredom awaited us. We went up and stood outside our room. I was so bored so I had to call/text you guys.
After lunch.
A few minutes before time, I went in the classroom. I talked with my lunchmates and Kyle...10 mins...30 mins...1 hr. No teacher yet. So the people at the back decided to play Dare or Dare. They encouraged all of us to join, so we did. And in that moment, we were united. And in that moment, I swear we were inf―. LOL NO. Ok I'm just gonna mention the funniest dares: Shout "I love Manny Pacquiao!" outside, shout "Marry me, Bradley!", and go to a room and introduce yourself (but the room that the guy had gone in wasn't full and there wasn't a teacher...but still it was funny). Some people still chose Truth even if it was just Dare or Dare. And 2 girls have admitted that they found Kyle the most attractive guy in the room. Trust me, he's not. The game got boring after a while. There was this guy, a very "bibo" guy, so much like Fran who's funny and not shy at all. And he is so attractive. So unfffff. And he went to PCGS, where Hannah Perez came from. Anyway, he decided to change the game into Do you love me or do you love me not? I'll explain a little about the game in case you haven't heard of it yet: There's gonna be an "it" inside the circle who will ask somebody if he/she loves him or not. If the answer is yes, the "it" has to ask another person. If the answer is no, the "it" will ask who that person loves. Then that person will reply "All people who _______ (e.g. are wearing stripes)". Then all people wearing stripes will change places and the person who does not get to sit down will be the "it". But they added a twist to the game. The "it" will have to do a dare first before he asks somebody. So we played...blah blah blah...fun fun fun...Luckily, I never became the "it". But Kyle did. He refused lots of dares like dancing and singing cause he didn't know how to. His final dare was to harana/sing to a girl the song Marry You by Bruno Mars. For some reason I felt nervous cause I had a feeling he was gonna pick me. Not that I was "assuming" or something, but to think that I was the first girl he got friends with and I guess the only girl he had talked to, aside from introducing himself. And yes, he did come to me and sang the song. Omg. It was so embarrassing. There was this girl who shouted Hala magkadayon nya sila ba! or something like what if we really end up together. It was so awkward. I was sitting and he was standing and it was so awkward to look up at him the whole time. I had to look down and look up and down again. Gaaah I hate recalling it. Tbh I don't like him like, like-like. I just can't imagine being with him. Ew. If only he was the "bibo" guy. Lolololol. The game went on until 4:30. Our subject was supposed to be accounting I think, whatever stands for AC, from 1:30-4:30. Horrible, isn't it?
Things were awkward between me and Kyle after the game. Well for me it was. But I still said bye to him. To lessen the awkwardness. But I don't think it did. I hope it did, though.
So yeah, that was how my first day of college went. Full of awkwardness. But at least I made lots of friends.
I'm sorry if this is already too long, but I have a little more chikka.
Evening.
I forgot "bibo" guy's name so I chatted with Perez on fb. I described him: he's tall, white, has braces, "bibo", funny, leader, confident. Perez gave me 2 names and I searched them on fb and they weren't the one. After a few guesses Perez finally knew who I was talking about, and she gave me a link to his profile. His name is Clarence Lim :) She told me that he really is attractive and she even liked him before. She also told me that he is a dancer and that he's an SK chairman. NO WONDER people were calling him chariman during class. :)) I asked Perez if they're close and she said they are. She said that I could start a conversation with him by asking him if he knows her and then she said we'd be automatic friends :D
There's actually another cute guy in our class. He came all the way from Mindanao. He looks so Pinoy while Clarence is a bit chinito. His name is so hard to pronounce and to remember.
Ok that is all for now :) Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed. Hahahaha
Okay guys, tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow's the day where we head off to college. Tomorrow's the day where we wake up for school, put on a totally different outfit, a totally different uniform, where we put on something new & not the same shit we wore for 4 years. Tomorrow's the day where were gonna get lost & get late cause we were looking for our classroom. Tomorrow's the day where we're gonna meet new people, new guys & pro'ly new friends but most of all tomorrow's the day where we're no longer gonna meet each other in the carpool, or shriek & hug when we walk in the classroom, where we decide whether we go down to the canteen for recess or just go during lunch, where we're not gonna back bite the teachers we hate or make hand signals in the classroom. Tomorrow's the day where we're gonna be separated by schools, by distance & by courses. This is it, no more turning back. We lived our 4 years & we must admit it was on hell of a fucking roller coaster ride, we've had our ups & downs, the loopty-loops & the twirls. Now we're gonna wake up, put on a series of different uniforms & learn different subject & have different schedules, now we're off to find a new adventure, a new beginning & a new life. It's great that's all happening but I fear that new people, new schools, new uniforms & new subjects might changed the old things. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I fear that we're gonna fade out, we're just gonna be a memory, an old adventure, we're gonna be forgotten. I know it feels a lot like it but we gotta try. We can't give up. We can't forget us, we can't let new things in life ruin the old things we love. Promise me, promise me we'll do our best. Promise me that new people aren't gonna replace old one's but instead make it unique, make it antique by combining new w/ old. It's one way of making it work. The more the merrier right? I hope... but we're gonna get through this. We're gonna beat the odds.
This is it, our solo adventure begins the moment our eyes open up tomorrow morning. This is it, it's time we get independent, it's time we fight a new war but this time we're going alone but in our hearts we know we never are.
