#stageoflife

A Devotional

Stage One: Young, carefree, making money, going to school, working, possibly living on your own for the first time and making your own decisions. Learning what adulting really means, and possibly thinking that being a kid looks kind of good right now. Falling in love, a lot, and picking yourself up when things don’t go as planned. Having a really good time with friends and learning what being broke really is. This is when you realize why your mom said “we’ve got food at home”. This is when you learn the hard lessons of excess and the value of the dollar. When you learn that actions have real life consequences and some people don’t deserve a place in your life. Where you learn that your parents weren’t necessarily as crazy as you thought and money really doesn’t grow on trees. 

Stage Two: Relationships are hard work, and so is real work. Getting right into the groove of the career now, life feels like it’s really begun. Maybe you’re a homeowner now and you’re getting ready to start or have started a family. Little people come with their own challenges for time and money but with so much love you hardly notice the other stuff. You start to question some of the big picture stuff you grew up believing. Coming to your own conclusions about the world and your place in it. Where you fit and where God fits into the narrative. You’re older now but besides a little more Tylenol than before things still work reasonably well. Juggling all the things isn’t too hard and you wonder why other’s complain? Hanging out with friends is still a good time even though the evening ends slightly earlier than it used to. Money still doesn’t grow on trees but soon that truck will be paid off, so you’ll have a little more each month.

Stage Three: Work, home, kids, spouse, sleep, repeat…..forever. That’s how it feels some days. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that this is the life you wanted. You love it but it’s tiring. Friends seem like a thing of the past unless you run into them at a practice, game or recital. Thankfully your parents just retired so they help with the kids and you’ve gotten your raise and promotion at work so money isn’t too much of a worry these days. Finding time to spend with your spouse gets a little harder but once the kids get older it’s bound to get easier. Right? Trying not to breathe wrong or you’ll put your back out or move too quickly so you don’t sprain something feels like a daily occurrence and can we just praise Jesus for coffee!? Because we know without that we would be hurting a lot more people in the drop off lane at school. Just trying to raise the small humans to be good people can feel like a full time second job that has little to no pay and zero fringe benefits. Because nobody ever listens to Mom until she’s a screaming lunatic. 

Stage Four: How did the house get this quiet so quickly? They’re all driving themselves to their stuff now and nobody needs help with their science projects or homework anymore. Not that you would be much help anyway, it’s been an unspeakable long time since you were in high school. Trying to give them advice and reminding them daily “Don’t do stupid shit” as you pass them the keys to the car along with some cash. Praying for them almost every second of every waking hour. Tracking their locations, just in case the worst happens, making sure you try to know who they’re with and what they’re doing. Learning about your spouse again, now that there’s time to do so. Finding out who you are, what you enjoy, because now your life doesn’t revolve around the kids’ stuff. You work a little more now because you aren’t needed at home. When they don’t feel well, they take care of themselves. Some are gone now, off living their lives being amazing just as you hoped they would. A small part of you wishing they still needed you, just a little. Money isn’t an issue anymore because there’s nobody to spend it on. Nobody asking for Lego’s or pet shop toys. You’re not buying 5 gallons of milk a week or 5 dozen eggs to feed your hoard. You’ve had to learn to cook small again. It’s a little sad and it’s very, very quiet.

Stage Five: Work and counting down to retirement. House is almost paid off. Parents are gone, you miss them every day. Kids are good, working and living their lives. Showing you what an amazing parent you were and soon how amazing a grandparent you will be. Vacations are becoming a thing now too, because you are  finally able to afford it. House is clean almost all the time, as there’s nobody there to mess it up. With only the two of you it’s easy to pick up as you go. Pets have replaced the kids but they’re cheaper and easier to take care of. Plus they don’t talk back. You enjoy each other and yet you spend time with friends too. Easier now that life has slowed down. Daily walks help keep the joints lubricated and as long as we place our feet carefully, we don’t fall. Falling is not a good thing at our age. Everyone we know has wrinkles, is balding and is going deaf. We still think 1985 was 20 years ago and when we realize it was more like 40 we need to lie down. Time is a funny thing, it runs over you and takes your life away without you noticing. 

Stage Six: Since I’ve not experienced this I can’t speak about it. Let’s assume this is the gray haired, motor-homing, adventure stage. We are babysitting the grands and having the best time doing it. We don’t have to work and we get to do all the fun things we’ve always wanted to do. 

Each of these stages will be different for everyone. They’ll all have heartache and trauma. They’ll come with some amazing rewards too. But we have to learn from them and move forward through them with that new knowledge. Remembering the whole time that God is there. He is guiding and lighting the path. He may not be steering the ship but he’s sending the current in which it’s floating. We can pull hard to stern to fight it but we can also just listen with our hearts and follow Him. Our reward is at the end. 

Questions/Actions

Which stage are you in currently and what knowledge and lessons have you gained from the one before?

Are you living this stage to the max? If not, why not? What can you change to maximize your experience?

Verses

“The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair.” Proverbs 20:29