at the time, you had no idea that eleven or el, as you'd come to call her, saved you. you remember how the water parted around you, defying gravity, and you floated up to safety, gasping, coughing, alive. you remember how she saved you without a word, and you had no idea that it was a human that saved you, since you thought nobody was around.

fast forward a a few days, and fate brought you to the person who saved you down at the quarry you were with mike, lucas, and dustin that fateful day in the woods, searching for will, when you stumbled upon her.

with eleven, recognition flickered there since she remembered that you were the girl she saved while she was on the run from the lab.

from then on, she was your person in arms. eleven was always the one who understood the unspoken fears, and the nightmares that clawed at your mind. you shared eggos in secret, laughed over your x-men comic books in your bedroom, and promised each other forever in the way only kids can, without knowing the weight of the future.

hawkins was never kind to promises. the upside down crept in and you had no idea that someone like vecna was going to start clock chimes that echoed in your skull. you fought side by side with el inside of your mind. in many ways, el's powers a shield for all of you.

she bled for you, nose dripping crimson as she hurled monsters away. you? you tried to protect her too, with makeshift weapons and desperate plans. deep down, you knew she was the one holding the world together.

unfortunately, it all had to end.

vecna died in november of 1987, but the cost was something too expensive to take back. once leaving the exploding upside down, you turned, and saw eleven back inside of the hell that nearly consumed you too.

there was one last glance at her face that you could see through your pleading screams and tears. it was determination, and exhaustion. in a way, the purple and blue background of the upside down made her look beautiful. you cried, before she was gone.

you reached out, screaming her name, but the portal swallowed her whole.

you didn't die that day, but part of you did. the military men had to pull you and mike back from trying to find el and the gate that somehow vanished.

since then, hawkins tried to heal, but you? you carried her absence like a wound that never scarred. there was not a day went by without you thinking of her. you'd wake in the dead of night, heart pounding from dreams where her voice echoed inside of your head.

the torture she endured from the lab, and the experiments she told you before, and the isolation... all for what? to save a world that never gave her peace. she was just a girl, stripped of childhood, forced to be a weapon and you couldn't save her when it mattered most.

when you thought about the night that vecna claimed you back in 1986, you hurt more when you think about eleven. your mind was fractured under vecna's assault.

you died there, and your heart stopped in the grip of his curse but el came back for you. somehow, from beyond... or wherever she was... el's power reached through the veil. you felt it, a surge of warmth in the darkness.

at the time, all you could think about is how she saved you again.

now its 1989, and you're about to graduate soon. however, that hurts you, since you remember that eleven was robbed from all of this, just so you could be here.

maybe you'll never see her again. honestly, you do not know if she is truly dead or if that is what you are supposed to believe. that thought haunts you. however, you hope she's repaid for the peace she gave you, pulling you from death twice over. you hope she's in that place mike dreams of with waterfalls cascading into crystal pools, sunlight filtering through leaves, with no more blood or battles. you hope she is in a world where she can be just el, not eleven, not a hero, but a girl who gets to laugh freely.

you think of her every day, especially that last glimpse in the upside down.

even if she's lost to you, her light lingers which is a beacon in your soul. you believe she's alive, somewhere serene and that belief is the peace she gifted you.

"i'd like to imagine that she's in a beautiful land, somewhere far away. she finds a small town to call home, safe from the danger of the black hand. and it is here, at last that she finds peace. that she finally finds happiness"

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