#ssshchallenge

When would they see each other? Would she want to make a long-distance relationship work? Would she be willing to come to Norway? If he went to the States, would Ubbe make one of his brothers travel with him?

This was going to be a fucking disaster! 

He was deep in his musing when he felt Cash’s lips on his neck. His head turned toward hers. “Hey, where are you?”

Lowering his eyes to her mouth, he smiled at the slight pout on her lips. He was going to miss her kisses the most. Her lips were always so soft and warm. Whatever the lip stuff she was wearing had the faintest taste of vanilla and gave her lips a smooth, balmy feel.

He found himself rubbing his lips together after they kissed and smiled, “I like that flavor.”

“You like the flavor of everything I wear,” she said, snuggling up to him.

Nodding in agreement, he held his hand up to the back of hers and interlaced their fingers. “You smell and taste better than me.”

Pulling her arm over to his mouth, he gently held her wrist and licked her hand, smiling at her giggle. As his tongue ran up the center of her hand to the length of her middle finger, he felt a familiar tingle in his groin. Slowly, he took her finger in his mouth and gently sucked it before repeating the action on the rest of her digits. 

By the time he was done, Cash was no longer giggling.

“See...absolutely delicious,” he smiled softly before turning over and closing his mouth over hers.

Cash tried her best to keep her fingers laced with Ivar’s, but it was hard. She took slow deep breaths, looked at the ceiling, and tried to concentrate on everything else but the velvety softness of his tongue and those piercing blue eyes staring up at her.

Every time she looked down at him all she wanted was to run her fingers through those gorgeous chocolate locks. But, whenever she tried, he’d stop his exploration. “Ivar,” she panted breathlessly, determined she was going to smother him with her thighs if he stopped again.

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, enjoying the look of frustration on her face. Releasing her right hand, he pulled his hair over his left shoulder, “Do you trust me?” When she nodded, he nibbled her thigh before placing a gentle kiss there. 

Ivar had always hated his hands. All of his brothers had such long slender fingers, but he was plagued with thick, meaty paws. It didn’t make sense. Yes, he was the shortest of his brothers, but he was still easily six feet when standing. Yet, his hands and feet were short and fat. His fingers looked like they belonged to someone short and stumpy, not someone as tall, slender, and muscular as him. 

However, this was the first time ever that Ivar didn’t hate his hands or the fingers that were attached to them. 

“Jesus Christ,” Cash squeezed his left hand tighter as her hip raised off the bed. Where in the hell had he been hiding that little trick? Were his fingers always that long and thick?

Shit.

How many was he using? Everything about him was amazing. It was like he listened to each noise she made, and he adjusted his ministrations accordingly.

He was mesmerized by the way her body moved. Though, she didn’t seem to know what to do with her right hand. One minute it was on her belly, then she would grip the sheets – that is, when she wasn’t grasping at the air in an attempt to reach his shoulder. Then there was the vice grip she had on her own hair. He was sure she going to pull it out at the root.

He wanted to watch her. He wanted to listen to her. He wanted to kiss her. Ivar wanted to stop his musings to concentrate solely on everything she was doing, but there was a curiosity in him that wanted to know if he could take her farther.

He had to know if he could. It was plausible. At the frenzied state she was in, he could take her there, couldn’t he? Should he dare to even try?

Cash now understood what sensory overload meant. When his lips touched hers and moved and the same incredibly slow pace of his hands, she forgot her name. She wanted to say something, but it was a little fucking hard to talk. Besides, she doubted she could hear her own voice over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. All she knew that there was a tickle in her nether regions that felt like she had to pee. But she would be damned if she asked him to stop so she could run to the bathroom.

No sooner did the thought leave her mind, did her entire body start to grow hot and taut. 

The grip on Ivar’s hair was tight, but the way her nails scratched his scalp and the sound of his name on her breath made his crotch ache. As she held his head, she released a strangled cry and her body shook, back arching off the bed.

When her limp body fell back to the mattress, he kissed his way up to her face, placing his forearms on both sides of her head. With tears in her eyes, Cash pushed his long hair behind his ears and leaned up to kiss him.

“You just...I just...oh fuck,” she couldn’t finish talking. Her brains hadn’t yet returned to working order. All she wanted to concentrate on was how soft his lips felt. They smelled like her. They tasted like her. Would he think she was weird if she told him how turned-on she was by that?

Ivar was smiling so hard his face hurt. “Did you?” He watched her nod her head vigorously. “Good,” he kissed her before sitting up and reaching for the bottle of water on the nightstand.

“You are amazing,” he took several big gulps, before handing her the bottle, “and beautiful.” 

Handing the bottle back to Ivar, Cash bit her lip. She ran her fingers through his hair as she placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder. He ignored her eyes on him, as she placed another kiss on his neck. As her kisses continued on his jawline, her hand made its way over the expanse of his chest and down until she felt his stomach flinch as her fingers brushed over his navel. By the time her hand made it under the covers, she had captured him in a searing kiss.  

He closed his eyes at the sensation of Cash’s delicate fingers as they swept over his thigh with a feather-light grace. If the situation were different, it would tickle, but right now, it was anything but funny. And when the warmth of her hand traveled toward his groin he felt a thin layer of sweat form on his upper lip. He didn’t know how she did it, but her slender fingers provided a grip that wasn’t necessarily tight, but firm enough to elicit the most exquisite tingle that he swore he could feel in his normally numb toes. 

Cash hoped that Ivar couldn’t tell what she was debating. She had only done this to one other person before - her ex...the one that after 5 years together, decided to break it off and up and married some other chick.

It was one of two sexual acts that she put a lot of meaning behind. To Cash, it meant trust and commitment - that this wasn’t just some random encounter. If she was going to do it, then she had to do it right.

But fuck, she wasn’t an expert. What if she wasn’t any good at it? And she didn’t have any experience with an uncircumcised one before. It looked different, what if there were different rules for one?

Where the hell was Glenn when she needed him? Having a gay best friend should pay off in situations such as these, no? 

Ivar sucked in a breath, “Ingen...stopp,” he had temporarily forgotten how to speak English. 

Her index finger gently pressed against his lips before he inhaled and laid his head back on the headboard.

He couldn’t look at her, could he?

No. He shouldn’t.

You weren’t supposed to, right?

Shit. What did Ubbe say about that?

Fuck, he couldn’t remember. He knew that Hvitserk would have told him to watch. He would have said something stupid like that’s what you have eyes for, or they love being watched, or you should record it.

That’s why he didn’t talk to Hvitserk - because he was a fucking idiot. 

Wait...why was he think Hvitserk right now?

She didn’t know what Ivar liked or even if it felt remotely pleasurable to him. He didn’t make the same types of noises that she did. And when she happened to glance up at him, he had this weird look on his face that seemed more uncomfortable than anything.

Was she hurting him?

She knew she should have watched more porn. 

He was completely powerless, but he had to touch her. His hands gently found their way into her hair and he unconsciously massaged her scalp.  She had no idea what she was doing to him, and she was leaving him in just a few short hours. It wasn’t fair.

Cash nuzzled into the feeling of his palm on the side of her face, gently guiding her movements. She found herself making silent promises to him each time she bobbed her head.

She wanted them to last. She was going to do everything in her power to make this work. This was her pledge to him. 

When their eyes met, he guided her up and settled her onto his lap. Thus far, it hadn’t been difficult for them to find a rhythm that suited them. With his back propped against the headboard and his hands on her hips to guide her, it was easy to help fall into step with him.

However, even moving in tandem, this time they both needed something more.

Their lips on each other weren’t enough.

It was as if they needed to be closer - if that were humanly possible.

Ivar wasn’t sure how it happened, but he found himself on his side facing her, moving with her.

They hadn’t tried this position before. He couldn’t quite figure out where to place his one leg, but it worked - he could feel her. All of her. He could hold her close, caress her and kiss her as much as he needed to. And when he felt like he needed more of her, he pulled her leg higher over his hip. 

She couldn’t understand the words he was saying, but it sounded beautiful. When she got home, she was going to make it a point to download Bable and study Norwegian. 

He rolled them once more until he completely covered her.

Normally, he hated being on top. It reminded him too much of being with his ex.

That bitch was always so happy to just have him there rutting away until she got what needed = then she would push him off of her, always leaving him feeling completely unsatisfied.

That was one of the great things about Cash. She seemed to enjoy being on top. Not only did he not have to do anything but watch her, but even though he didn’t finish he still enjoyed himself immensely.

Being with Cash was nothing like what he thought about sex. In fact, being with Cash didn’t feel like sex at all.

It was making love. 

She could see on his face that he was searching for something, only he didn’t know how to find it. What was he thinking about?

“Do you trust me?” she whispered holding his face in her hands, feeling him nod against her palms, “then let go.”

He lowered his head to her shoulder and tried to concentrate. God, he wanted to let go so bad, but he didn’t know how. He felt like he never had control over anything in his life - he had to rely on people to take him places. He couldn’t do anything without permission or help.

Hell, he didn’t even have control over his body. His stupid legs didn’t work and wouldn’t do what he told them to do. Now, he couldn’t even control this. 

It was so fucking frustrating. 

“I can’t,” he looked at her with embarrassment and shame in his eyes.

She hadn’t noticed that his movements had stopped when she repositioned herself to plant her feet on the bed and tilt her pelvis forward. “I want to do for you what you did for me.” She wrapped her arms around his back and held him close to her. Pushing her waist against his, she moved slowly.

“Just look at me,” she whispered in between kisses to his chin, “stay here - with me.”

How could he resist her anything? She could have asked him to walk to the moon and he would have.

His big cerulean eyes locked on her brown orbs and didn’t move. Every time he found his mind drifting off onto some other place, he would lose himself in her eyes again. 

“Cachet,” this was the first time she’d ever heard him say her name. It sounded weird coming from him, but she liked it. 

The room erupted a fit of giggles, “I am sorry,” he apologized by kissing the space on her shoulder that he had bitten down on when he lost all bodily control, “did I hurt you?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t know you were into that kinky biting shit,” she said as his head rested on her chest and he held onto her tight. “I kinda like it.”

“How did you know to do that?” When she didn’t answer, he looked down at her, “Hello?”

She stopped the lazy path she was tracing up and down his arm and looked at him, “Hm?”

“How did you know to do that?”

She gave a quick shrug and a half-hearted smile. “You know how they say mother’s can pick up a car to save their babies? I guess I didn’t know my own strength.”

He nodded absently, paying too much attention to the distance forming behind her eyes. “Hey. We promised. Remember?”

She nodded quickly and tried to turn her head before he saw the tears starting to pool just below her lashes.

“We will enjoy today. And worry about tomorrow, later.” He kissed her quickly.

She sighed, “But what about everything that happens after tomorrow?” Why couldn’t she turn her brain off? Why did she have to think about everything and always have a plan? This couldn’t be the last night she would spend with him. They just found each other, really found each other and in a few short hours it was going to be over? How the fuck was she supposed to act like everything was going to be just fine now? Especially not after what they just shared.

Ivar rested his head on her shoulder and enjoyed the feeling of her fingers on his scalp. He wasn’t going to tell her that he was worried about it, too. He wouldn’t upset her more. Especially not when she looked like she was going to cry a second ago.

The only thing he did know was this couldn’t be the end of them. Not yet. They were on the verge of something really good. But how did he get there? Short of her giving up her life and moving in with him, he didn’t see a way.

“I don’t know.”

Tags:

Drayunn knew better than to accompany his aging father any farther than this, the simple archway formed from fallen boulders and huge rocks were the landmark – the line that has never been crossed by anybody but Ivar for the past decades. His eldest brothers and even Ivar’s favored daughter or his sweet wife have tried and failed and not succeeded in convincing Ivar to give them a peek of what he considered his sacred ground. Ivar’s most loyal men were stationed by the boulder with the order to kill if anyone trespasses, no matter who they might be.

The queen told his son that was where his father prays to his gods and finds his peace amidst his usually brutal and bloodstained life. It would seem time has taught her to not question this part of her husband’s life no matter how much it might drive someone insane.

“Father –“

“You may go now,” Ivar waved off his son with gentle pats on his cheeks. Drayunn couldn’t help but stare at his rough and ragged hands – full of scars and marks of his difficult but eventful travels. “I’ll be back before the moon is up.”

“Father, your legs –“

Ivar stopped his son with a short glare – a small peak of the terrifying man he once was when he was still Ivar the Boneless and not King Ivar. His age might have made him weak and his body may be failing him but there was something inside him – the monster lying dormant – that still manages to strike fear in everyone’s soul.

Ivar straightened himself using his metal crutch and cleared his throat, he looked back up at the small pathway covered by the mist – his eyes going soft. “Go now, Drayunn.”

Drayunn could do nothing but stare as the early morning fog swallowed his father whole as he ascended the hill. Somehow, this time, it feels like goodbye.

-

Ivar smiled at the familiar dirt path, pulling wildflowers from their stem with his free hands until about two dozens of colorful flowers were bunched up in his hand. It takes him longer now, his legs screaming in agony at every step on the very jagged hill but still he persevered.

He made a promise and this time he will not break it.

He sighed in relief when he saw the tree and the rocks piled to form a small pyramid below it to mark the place, the small vines and flowers that grew and wrapped itself around the stones made it sturdy enough to face the current of the wind. He sat in the ground and supported his back with one of the protruding roots, carefully placing the flowers in front of the pyramid, almost like an offering to a goddess.

His goddess.

“I’ve arrived, my love,” he whispered.

He laid a soft hand at the top of the stones, closing his eyes as he tried to imagine your body sleeping peacefully below him.

You, the greatest love of his life, and his own personal Valhalla in this hell of an earth he was placed on.

If his mind was quiet enough he could still hear your echoing laughter, your soft and soothing humming as you cooked him his dinner in your humble little cabin that Ivar had personally designed to fit your bidding. He could still hear you calling out his name, with no tittle but full of love and adoration, that now does nothing but make his heart ache.

He loved you.

(Still and will always love you.)

The gods knew how much he loved you.

The fact that he raided and purged a kingdom just so he can dig your body out of the commoner’s grave the blind Christians placed you in was enough to show that not even the gods’ prophecies and promises of all the power and glory in the world had made him forget about you.

Nobody was allowed to survive in that rotten castle. Everyone has to suffer for their arrogance and mistreatment of his very own forgotten Freya.

You were a good woman – definitely better than what he deserved.

But he was young and hungry for glory – glory that was promised to him as the favored child of the gods. He had a prophecy to fulfill and a whole world to take over. He racked his brain for months, remaining sleepless and almost as mad as his brothers always sees him to be thinking of way he can both have you and his promised destiny.

In the end, you chose for him. Leaving him tearful and heartbroken by the docks as you kissed his lips one more time as goodbye.

You sobbed, as he used one hand to cradle your cheeks. “Don’t make this harder than it already is, Ivar,”

“(Y/N) …”

“No, please,” you turned your face and kissed his palm. “I have to go. You know I have to.”

For the first time in your life he couldn’t stop the tears in his eyes.  He sniffed and pulled your forehead to his, the physical pain of the thought of not having you by his side more painful than all of his bones breaking all at once.

“Forgive me, my love,” he whispered, tears now falling down both your faces. “You married a weak man.”

He pulled you for one last kiss only to be broken by the screams of a Viking for everyone to go on board. You placed a hand in between the two of you hoping some distance will make the separation easier.

It didn’t, both of you felt like your souls were being ripped apart.

“In another life,” you whispered. “Where we live in a kinder world with no great prophecies and destiny to fulfill … I’ll be waiting for you again.”

Ivar laughed shakily, taking the hand on his chest and kissing it deeply one more time. “I promise, my love. I’ll find you; I’ll rip the world apart looking for you.”

You took a deep breath and slowly walked backward, a sad smile on your face.

“In another life, my love.”

When he had established his own stronghold he had sent out spies in all countries he knew off to look for you. You were not an easy woman to find but he found you. You had never married again, opting instead to take care of the orphans in a remote village.

He always had ears and eyes on you, and sometimes, when winters were rough he made sure to leave enough high-quality furs and meat by the orphanage’s door.

Thankfully, you were none the wiser for if you had known you were sure to disappear again from his grasps, afraid of angering the gods and having them take out their anger on your love who was always on blood-stained wars.

However, he failed you once again when he was called for the final war. It was the greatest battle of his life. The one that cemented his name to history forever.

And as always, it came with a price.

Every victory always had a price.

Due to the size of the army he had to fight off, Ivar had no choice but to utilize everybody in his army, even the spies he had placed to look after you. In the three years that the war rampaged on you have gotten sick by the second winter and breathed your last long before summer could arrive.

People thought the war had finally broken whatever soul the king had left in him but he knew – he knew it had died with you.

He requested permission from the king to bring your body back to his kingdom as discretely as possible but the young and arrogant king called it a heresy to disturb a rotting body of some commoner and held the agreement off thinking he could use it as something to dangle above the great King Ivar’s head as leverage.

So Ivar cut off all his limbs and burned his castle to the ground.

You had always told him how if you had died before him then you want to be buried under the ground where he can visit you whenever he pleases – to give him some sense of peace and companionship even with your absence. And he used to laugh, thinking how he would never allow that to happen and that the two of you were destined to take your last breathes together.

He was wrong.

You were right.

You always were.

So he took your humble wooden coffin and had his chosen thralls bury it in this highest hilltop he could find in his kingdom, promising to visit you at least once a month. He had every single thrall who knew of what was truly in the hill banished with enough gold to last them two lifetimes with a promise that if he ever saw their shadow in his kingdom he would have them and their entire family tree murdered.

And thus, the sacred ground of the great King Ivar was born.

His personal Valhalla where his Freya lays resting, waiting for him.

“I dreamed about you last night,” he whispered. He could almost see the coy look you always pull on your face whenever you try not to be flattered by his compliments, making him smile. “We were in the lake behind our home and you were trying to braid my hair. However your sneaky gentle hands lulled me to sleep and when I woke … I was back to reality.”

He started coughing, it was almost winter and the cold had not been kind to his weakened body. He knew his time was near and this could be the last time he could visit you in Midgard. “How many times must I lose you, hmm?”

Truly he couldn’t wait to see you again. All these dreams he had of you does nothing but give him a few seconds of absolute bliss before it will be ripped from him by the next morning.

”You know,” he paused, leaning back on the tree, his hands mindlessly pulling on the grass by his legs which ached more and more as it got exposed to the cold. He opted to ignore it. “If you asked me to stay I would’ve.”

He would’ve said damn the gods and damn his destiny. He would’ve gotten on the boat himself and left his crown and dreams of glory on the shores of Kattegat.

But he knows that you knew that. And that is why you had to make the choice yourself before you could become his ruin. Such a selfless and stubborn woman he had, only thinking of him that even her body refused to rot until she was back on his lands.

He was just about to close his eyes to rest a little when he felt a presence behind him. He unsheathed his dagger ready to murder the trespasses only to see a familiar stranger.

A stranger he once saw when his father, the great Ragnar Lothbrok, was murdered.

“Lord Odin,” he called at the hulking figure he always took form in, preparing to bow to his god only for him to wave off his efforts making him sit back down, eyes looking wearily at the god before him.

Odin nodded at him and walked until he was beside the old king.

Ivar seemed confused what Odin’s goal was and the purpose of his visit only to feel his whole body weaken almost instantly. He looked up Odin before slowly looking back at the rising sun – already accepting his fate. “Is it my time?”

Odin nodded, looking down almost lovingly at his faithful descendant.

“Do you wish for more time?” the great Odin asked the great king, for this favored one he can pull some strings but Ivar managed to surprise him one last time when he shook his head.

“I want her beside me in Valhalla,” he knew the stories. He knew great kings would be given one last wish before they die. Whatever they wanted, may it be their legacy to never be forgotten, for their sons to be greater than them, or to even wish ill on the blood of their enemies.

But Ivar’s mind has been made up. “I want her beside me or I am not entering.”

Odin chuckled, still such a stubborn child in his age. “That was already a given, my child.”

Ivar nodded, finally at peace knowing you were waiting for him. “Then I’m ready.”

Odin sighed, sitting next to him so they can see eye to eye.

“You haven’t used your wish,” Odin started. “Do you not want anything?”

Ivar thought about it. His sons were great men now, most are kings in their own rights and even his only daughter was married to a great King on the East. His wife was still beautiful and could easily marry another who can truly love her and appreciate her for the great woman that she is. He truly has nothing to ask for except one thing.

The thing that had been nagging on his brain for years and years and years.

“Then,” he looked at Odin. “May I ask you a question?”

Odin seemed to expect it but nodded nonetheless.

Ivar hesitated but he willed himself.

“If I had …” he sighed deeply, thinking of a different reality than the one he was living in. “If I had gone on the boat … would I have been happy?”

Odin seemed to hesitate knowing exactly what he meant. He looked away at Ivar and looked at the sun as Ivar was. “There was no glory to be found in that life. You would have never found contentment.”

“That’s not my question,” Ivar shook his head, now his eyes not straying from Odin. “Would I have been happy?”

Odin’s jaw clenched before he finally looked at Ivar, something akin to an apology written in his eye.

“Truly,” he affirmed pity in his eyes as he looked at his favorite child and the beautiful future he had stolen from him in exchange for the world. “You would’ve been happier than gods would’ve allowed.”

Ivar seemed taken aback, breathing out a shaky sigh, before he leaned back to the trunk of the tree and closed his eyes. Frustrated and angry but also so very tired. He no longer wants to be angry. And he is tired of fighting the world and all the gods for his fate.

He will be seeing you soon and that is enough.

After a life of war he craves for peace now – peace for his broken soul and torn heart.

“I’m tired,” He whispered knowing his god would hear as he always does.

“I know,” Odin answered. “You can rest now, child.”

Odin placed a gentle hand on Ivar’s eyes just as his body finally failed him and he breathed his last. He summoned the remaining bones and dusts of Ivar’s one true love out of the earth and made a pendant out of it for Ivar to wear and take with him on his final resting place.

A small apology for tearing the two lovers apart in life but now at the very least in death they can be together again.

Odin raised his arms and out came seven ravens to inform all Ivarssons that their father has now, finally, found true peace.

-

Ivar heard chirping of the birds but it was the scent of some bread cooking that truly woke him up, it smelled familiar. It smelt like home. When he opened his eyes the golden ceiling of his castle did not greet him, instead in its place were plain hardwood ceilings with Viking carvings that was only present in his old home back in Kattegat.

“Ivar!” he heard a distant familiar scream of his name making his heart almost stop. He was in such a hurry he failed to see he was back on his young body until he accidentally stood up on both his feet.

His two uncharacteristically strong legs holding him up making his jaw drop, and the round mirror he bought off a trader showing him in his prime.

But before he could dwell on it he heard your voice again. “Ivar!”

Behind the house, by the lake.

He slammed his hands on the wooden door and ran and ran and ran laughing as he did, as he finally felt the soft grass and wet soil on his feet and not the constant pain who accompanied him his whole life.

And when he reached where the lake should be he sees you.

You.

It’s finally you.

Just as beautiful as you were when he last saw you.

You were wearing a humble hand-weaved dress but Ivar could swear you looked more beautiful than all of the woman he had seen in his long life.

You were running towards him, laughing and waving and he realized that this was it.

He was home.

He caught you in his arms just as you jumped, twirling you around as your familiar scent hit his senses making him tear up between your laughter.

“My love,” you whispered in his ears making him hug you even tighter. He knows somewhere in this version of paradise his father and brothers are waiting for him to join them at their table totell them his stories of battle and glory but for now they can wait.

He wanted to stay here for a little longer.

He had dreamt of this and nothing but this forever. Every pain and heartache in his mortal life had been worth all this.

When he pulled back, he almost gasped from finally having you so close. The hue in your eyes almost blindingly beautiful. He had been so scared he would forget you as he grew older but he could recognize these eyes everywhere.

“My Ivar,” you leaned in, your soft lashes touching fluttering on his cheeks as you finally kissed him. A kiss so familiar despite the years of absence.

“(Y/N),” he whispered in between the kisses, a final tear of happiness falling from his eye.

His heart has finally healed.

1. “I just want you to be happy.” @barnzbucky​

2. “We were in love once. That doesn’t just go away!” @artemiseamoon​

3. “If you asked me to stay, I would have.” @cruelfvkingsummer​

4. “My hobby is making fun of you when you talk.” @geekandbooknerd​

5. “If you make one more stupid pun, I will literally stab you.” @geekandbooknerd​

6. “I don’t want to be alone right now.” @hecohansen31​

7. “We need more time.” @csigeoblue​

8. “Let’s do something crazy.” @hecohansen31​

9. “If you had kept your mouth shut then she’d/he’d still be here.” @leahxx129​

10. “I dreamed about you last night.” @cruelfvkingsummer​

11. “Have you lost your goddamn mind?” @galaxystern08

12. “Please don’t do this.” @lol-haha-joke​

13. “Did you get my letter?” @youbloodymadgenius​

14. “If you can’t sleep...we can have sex.” @castielsangelsx​ 

15. “Scream. I dare you.” @inforapound​

16. “Call me if you need anything.” @shannygoatgruff

17. “Were you dropped on your head as a child?” @a-mess-of-fandoms​

18. “Top or bottom, love?” @technically-a-little-dragon​

19. “Frankly, my dear. I don’t give a damn.” @nekoannie-chan​

20. “Excuse me, I have to go make a scene.” @simsadventures​

21. “I just think it’d be best if we never met.” @artemiseamoon​

22. “My opinion on love, it always ends in tears.” @galaxystern08

23. “You’re in trouble now.” @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall​

24. “I don’t need a babysitter.” @redhairedfeistynerd​

25. “You’re not going out in that outfit.” @mummybear​

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"Good morning doll" he greeted you when he realized that you had already woken up.

"Hello," you murmured.

Steve started kissing your shoulder, you smiled.

“I was thinking…”

"About what?" You questioned.

"How much I love you," he replied.

“I love you too.”

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, "he said and he kissed your neck now.

"I feel lucky to have you," you replied.

He continued kissing your shoulder and your neck, he lowered a hand to your thigh to start caressing him, you turned around, put yourself on top of him and caressed his face with one hand, he continued to caress your thighs, you kissed him and they began to caress each other increasing the intensity until the mobile phones rang interrupting the moment.

"Right, a mission," you complained annoyed.

You had less than an hour to reach the base and leave for the mission.

 Everything is ready

 You smiled at the message you had received, you immediately saved your mobile phone, the mission was only for Steve and you, so nothing complicated appeared

"Are you ready?" He asked, standing next to you.

"Always and you, babe?"

"If you're with me, yes."

He kissed you and you got on the ship, you were not going to allow your nerves to take over you, you had to have everything under control as you always had, you couldn't make a single mistake.

As soon as you reached the abandoned base where the mission was, you decided to separate to cover more places and finish the mission more quickly and effectively.

"Y/N, position," Steve asked.

“Coming upstairs and yours?” You asked over the comm.

"I keep checking the first room," he replied.

Suddenly Steve thought he heard a scream, he left where he was and started running towards where you said you were.

“Y/N? Y/N status? Y/N?”

He was worried because he did not receive any response, distressed about what could have happened, he hurried to get to your location immediately, he could not lose you.

As soon as he entered he saw you unconscious and one of the enemies was gagging you.

Right at the moment when he was going to throw his shield, he felt a needle in his back, his body stopped reacting, he couldn't believe it that was not supposed to be possible, and he was supposed to be immune to that kind of thing thanks to serum.

He tried to raise his arm to reach you, he didn't feel it anymore, and he couldn't move, he didn't want to lose you, he needed to do everything possible to avoid being hurt.

Steve in a first attempt wanted to open his eyes without success, he noticed that he was tied to a chair perhaps, he tried harder until he managed to open them, he immediately looked for you, he needed to make sure you were there, you were equally gagged in a chair next to him.

"Doll?" He asked fearfully.

"Stevie ...”

“Are you fine?”

"I think so, I just don't know, I don't understand what happened, I can't get away," you answered confused.

You heard a very heavy door open and footsteps tried to turn around but couldn't, so you waited until the person was in front of you.

"Wow until great Captain America woke up!" Brock exclaimed mockingly.

“Rumlow”

"I thought this would be more difficult, but it was easier than taking candy from a child," said Brock.

He crossed his arms facing you.

"Let her go, she's innocent," Steve asked.

Brock smirked and turned to see you, they looked at each other for a few seconds before you opened your mouth.

"Untie me," you ordered.

Brock approached you, untied you, he gets up, Steve kept his eyes on all the movements, he would do anything to save you, whatever it took, you and Brock saw each other again, you smiled and kissed him.

"What the hell?" Steve asked,

You separated from Brock and you got closer to Steve bending down a little to be at the height of his face

“Y/N, what does this mean?” He asked furiously.

"Oh, Captain America fell in love with me!" You teased.

"And who isn't if you're charming," Brock commented.

“You see Stevie there is something we want to prove because we have a very important mission.”

Steve started struggling to getaway.

"Oh, don't try hard, you won't make it, we made sure to achieve the objective of our mission, it was something simple but slow," he continued.

Steve stopped and stared at you trying to process what he was hearing.

“Our mission? What do you mean?”

“One person’s craziness is another person’s reality.”

You got close to his face, you kissed him on the cheek.

"Hail HYDRA," you whispered in her ear then licked her earlobe.

You separated and went to where Brock was.

“What?”

Steve was stunned, he couldn't believe it, it had all been a lie, he had fallen into the trap and he never suspected a thing.

"You're pathetic, don't worry. HYDRA will take care of everything," Brock said.

Steve felt betrayed, he truly loved you, and he had never expected you to do something as low as that.

"Did you really think I was going to change my ten years’ relationship with Brock by being with you?"

Brock giggled.

"If they gave me this mission, it's because they knew I could complete it perfectly," you said.

"I can't believe it, it was all a lie, and I thought you were a good person, you were always so charming."

"Frankly, my dear. I don’t give a damn”

"As soon as I get out of here, I'm going to kill you," Steve said.

You ignored the threats Steve kept saying, Brock saw you again, you moved away a little to go to the table that was in the place while Rumlow watched him, and you took a syringe containing a green liquid.

“You see Steve we need to study you well, in fact, I took care of it as well as the collection of some samples that would be useful, our scientists analyzed them to create some substances that Erskine's serum could not assimilate, then they will subject you to another procedure, believe me, HYDRA has great plans for you.

"You're not as immune or invincible in the end as they made you think Cap," Brock scoffed.

“Everything that you used to tell me was a lie, wasn't it?” Steve asked, his voice sounding hurt.

"You fell so easily into the story that I was a weak girl and I needed that the great Captain America to protect me," you scoffed.

"You bitch, you are going to pay me, I'm going to kill you," Steve threatened.

“I will not die today. The same cannot be said for you”

“I'm going to get revenge, I'll make you pay Y/N.”

"No, you won't, you won't remember any of this."

"Sure, they sent you because they didn't think Rumlow was enough."

He was going to change his strategy, if he could get Rumlow to get close to him, then he could disarm him and escape, he didn't want to hurt you, he would take you hostage and make you confess everything.

“Two heads are better than one.”

You had considered the possibility, so Brock did not move from his place, you approached Steve and injected the contents of the syringe, Steve twisted, the sensation was worse than when the serum was injected, he felt as if his veins burned in the fire.

"How long will it take to take effect?" Brock asked.

"They told me that in a normal person fifteen minutes, in him five," you replied.

“Did they tell you what effects did you inject?”

"He will remember all the things he feels guilty about all his life as if he were there again, witnessing them."

“Wow, you're the best.”

“I know.”

You kissed him again, he began to caress your back, you knew that as soon as you had time he would give you your reward, now only had to observe the behavior that he began to show since it seemed that the liquid began to take effect.

Steve was sweating as if he had a fever, his breathing began to accelerate, he closed his eyes tightly, in his mind, a cluster of images began to appear, it hurt, and he felt a lot of pain.

 He remembered his dying mother in the hospital, the months before he got sick he had been working longer to buy his medicines and everything he needed if he had not been so weak, if he had not told him that he wanted to go to university She had not had to try harder, it was her fault that she had become ill with tuberculosis and then she died.

He saw Bucky fall from the train again, it was his fault that his best friend, he must have done something more to prevent him from having that fateful fate, he felt that he had betrayed the only person who was there supporting him after losing his mother.

He could see every single face of the people he hadn't been able to save over the years, he should have done something else.

 “How long will it take for our agents to arrive?” You asked Brock.

“Half an hour.”

"If you did what you promised me?" You asked, pretending a sweet voice.

"First we need to make him Captain HYDRA, then as soon as there is a chance we will have the trio that you love so much," he assured you.

"That's why I love you," you said.

"No, you love me because I'm the best," he corrected you.

Both laughed.

“Do you think I should have told him about his best friend?”

"Better find out later, I assure you that by having the two super soldiers on our side, HYDRA will dominate the world."

You sat down to watch the show he was offering as you waited for the rest of the team to arrive.

No mission has ever been so easy before.

You clearly envisioned the day you met Earth’s most exclusive redheaded spy alongside with the man who awakened feelings in you that you yourself didn’t even know you were capable of experiencing.

It was a humid hot day in July, your short-sleeved yellow uniform and red apron stuck to your body in all the wrong places, making you feel uncomfortable. You took in a sharp breath as your bandaged palms came in contact with the plates you were supposed to deliver to table 3 and put them down in an instant.

“Hey Mike! I am so sorry, but I just don’t think I can wait tables today… how ‘bout I take up all the orders and you bring them out?” you called out to your co-worker.

“What’s in it for me?” he furrowed his brows.

“I’ll buy you coffee.”

“So, it’s a date, right?” a grin formed on his freckled, yet handsome face.

“No, Mike. It’s coffee.”

“So, it’s a coffee date?”

“Nope, only coffee, Mike. No date. I’ll buy you one in the morning and just give it to you when I arrive.”

There was a moment of silence and his grin turned into a small smile.

“You know you’re lucky you’re hot and I’d do anything for you, free coffee or not.” he said picking up the plates and disappeared.

The diner was packed, a loud buzz filled the place as everybody was talking simultaneously. Having spotted a raised hand, you hurried over to get the order. Sure, your palms hurt holding a notepad and a pen, too, but remotely not as much as when you picked up those full plates.

“Welcome to Pop’s Diner, what can I get you?” you recited without even as much as sparing a glance at the consumers.

“A conversation would be nice.”

Your eyes immediately shot to the speaking man and his companion and widened in shock.

“Oh my God! You… you’re…” you felt the heat rise in your cheeks as you tried putting together a coherent sentence and failed.

“It’s okay, don’t be nervous.” the read headed woman smiled kindly. “I’m Agent Natasha Romanoff and this is Captain Steve Rogers. We’re here on behalf of Nick Fury.” she continued on, making you gasp loudly.

“We’d just like to talk, that’s all. Would you mind sitting down for a second?” Rogers chipped in.

You opened your mouth to protest since you were working after all, but promptly decided against it and sat down across them. When Captain America asks you to sit down, you sit down.

“May I… May I inquire what this conversation is in relation to?” you cleared your throat.

“Your palms.” Rogers stated calmly. He flashed you a smile what you assumed was supposed to be reassuring, but all he managed to do was make you even more flustered.  

“My palms…? Wha- what about them?”

“It seems like you had burned them pretty badly.”

“Uhm, yeah. I was cooking and I didn’t realize how hot the pot was until it was too late.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

Agent Romanoff took out her phone and placed it in front of you on the table. A security camera footage started to play and after a few second there you were, making your way through the diner’s parking lot a day ago. When you got to your car, a man pressed you hard against its side. A short grapple ensued and two minutes in an intense light emerged from your palms, making the stranger fall to the concrete. He was weltering on the ground, touching his own face and you just stood there. Satisfied. After a while you got in your car and drove off. The video stopped.

“Wanna re-think that answer?” she asked.

You didn’t even realize that a couple of tears escaped until they made their way down your face. You wiped them away furiously with the back of your hand. You winced when she called you by your name since you didn’t remember introducing yourself, but you shouldn’t have been surprised – you were convinced that by then S.H.I.E.L.D probably even knew what your favorite color was.

“Look, we have no idea what we witnessed on that tape and that’s one thing we’d like to know-”

“Well then that makes three of us…” you cut in bitterly. “ ’Cause I don’t even know what that was… Just to be clear, I did not want to melt that man’s face off even though he attacked me. I just felt threatened, and when I get angry or feel like I’m in danger, this incredibly cold sensation swipes trough me and just... wants to surface. By the time it reaches my palms it’s so cold, it burns… It burns right through my skin and looks like blue fire.”

Agent Romanoff and Captain Rogers exchanged a quick glance and the latter started off to Pop’s office.

“Where’s he going?” you asked in panic.

“He’s handing your boss your resignation.”

“What??”

“Relax, душенька. I think you’re gonna like your new job better than this. But first, you’ve got a lot to learn.” she smirked in response.

The second scene playing before your eyes was about the night you and Steve kissed for the very first time.

You won the battle of New York. At a painstakingly high price paid in body-count, but you’ve won it, nevertheless. The city slowly started to revive again and tried getting back to the old routine, but deep down everybody knew that would never happen. The harsh reality that Earth wasn’t the only populated planet and that humans were not the only superior beings in the universe settled in every heart and mind and there was no way of changing that.

Stark of course felt like the victory was something to celebrate so he threw a rather extravagant party in the Stark Tower. You tried to enjoy it, you really did, but you didn’t succeed in doing so. The music struck as too loud and all the drunk people soon became annoying instead of entertaining. Consequently, you grabbed your half-empty glass of whiskey and headed up to the roof top to get a breath of fresh air. The cold gusts of wind felt wonderful against your skin.

“You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that, Rogers. I almost threw a blue fire ball in your face.” you said without turning back. He chuckled softly and strolled to your side.

“Sorry, I just had to get away from the crowd. Plus, Stark’s hammered and he insisted on teaching me how to dance. I don’t think I’m ready for that tonight. Or ever will be.”

You didn’t notice how captivated he was when a genuine laughter ripped out of you.

“And here I was, thinking you deliberately followed me up here to finally get me alone.” you looked him in the eyes, smiling.

“You wish, doll.” his expression mirrored yours.

Your heart began racing as his face started to inch closer to yours. Your lips almost touched when a loud noise made you jump apart – courtesy of a very drunk Tony Stark trying to open the exit door with an equally drunk bimbo on his side.

“Whoops…” he said, then went on “… what was I saying? Oh, yes, sweetie, you can totally see Asgard from here. You just have to squint a little, then concentrate real hard and-”

Steve cleared his throat to make your presence known before Tony did something neither of you wanted to see.

“Rogers! Y/N! What are you two doing here? Oh, wait- did he… did he confess to you already?” he asked, looking straight in your eyes.

“Confess what?”

“Stark. Please stop talking. Now.” Steve’s voice was laced with nervousness, but Tony being Tony, did not stop talking.

“That he’s got a thing for you, Darling.” he informed you, then turned to Steve “Ugh, for God’s sake, Rogers, just kiss her already! Because if you won’t, I will!”

“Hey!” the bimbo screamed, clearly offended and went back to the building. A second later when Tony realized what happened he rushed after her shouting he didn’t mean it; he was just trying to motivate a friend. Or maybe he meant it a little, but just a little. Then all the noise died out.

“Soooo… you have a thing for me?” you spoke up after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

“Yes. I do. Although I planned on presenting it to you a bit differently.” he admitted.

“I see. Since it’s confession time, can I tell you something, too?”

“Sure thing, doll.”

You closed the distance between the two of you and stood on your tiptoes.

“I’ve got a thing for you as well, Steve…” you whispered in his ear.

He cupped your face and crashed his lips against yours in response. He did not like booze at all, but if anyone asked what his favorite was, he said whisky, because that’s what he tasted on your tongue that night.

Another clip of your life you were seeing was about the first time Steve made love to you.

You entered your room after a mission gone a bit sideways, exhausted to an extent that’s impossible to describe and with bruises and cuts covering the majority of your body. Steve stormed in just seconds after and slammed the door shut so hard it almost broke off its hinges. His beautiful face was hardened by anger and those blue eyes that often reminded you of the peaceful sea promised storm.

“What the hell was that?!” he demanded in a raised tone.

You sat down in front of your boudoir table and started peeling of your shredded suite very carefully.

“Answer me!” he shouted when he realized you had no intention of getting into an argument with him.

“Well, Cap, we went on a mission that in the end required some prompt, unplanned decisions on our side and I made them. Mission turned out successful. End of story. Is oral summary sufficient or would you like me to hand it in in written format?”

“Don’t “Cap” me, doll. And the attitude won’t bring you any closer to the end of this conversation…” he warned a little bit calmer, but still with a shaking voice.

“I’m sorry, Steve, I just don’t see what your problem is.”

You finished getting out of the top part and stood up to get done with the bottom, visibly struggling. With a couple of quick steps Steve appeared in front of you and tore it apart. You wore nothing but your underwear.

He then grabbed your chin and forced you to look him in the eyes.

“My problem is every single bruise on your body that’s not supposed to be there. Every single cut. Every single wound. Just because you learned how to use the blue fire without getting burnt it doesn’t mean you should use it excessively. I saw the effect it had on you today, don’t think I didn’t. For a split second it appeared as if it was consuming you from the inside…”

“Steve, if I hadn’t overdriven myself a little today, some of our greatest agents would’ve died. And I could not take that risk.” you said with gritted teeth. Tears started to sting your eyes, but you held them back.

“Well, I could! You know what risk I cannot take?! Losing you, doll.”

“I’m sorry…” you said in a small voice without a beat. Apologizing was not your genre, but the realization of how much Steve cared for you just dawned upon you. A mix of emotions took over you – you felt immensely loved, but at the same time, you were scared. “I gotta go take a shower. Will be back in no time.”

You slipped out of his grasp and let the tears flow as you closed the bathroom door behind you. Having stripped your underwear, you stepped into the shower and started cleansing yourself. You hoped the hot water would wash away the shame and guilt you felt, not just the dried blood and dirt. You were so caught up in your own thoughts that you jumped a little when Steve opened the shower cabin door.

“Oh my God, you scared me!” but he didn’t say a word.

He pushed you against the cold shower wall and kissed you violently, while his hands explored every curve of your body. It took all your willpower to break the kiss.

“Steve, do you really want our first time to be shower sex?” you asked panting.

“It doesn’t matter where we are, doll. I love you and I want you.” he growled, kissing down your neck.

Every fiber in your body ached in protest, but you ignored them. You ran your nails down his back as he put his hands under your thighs and gently lifted you up. A moan escaped you mouth when he entered you and slowly started moving. Steve swore it was the most beautiful sound in the whole goddamn universe. It was not long before the tension started building up in your body and having noticed this, he picked up the pace. You’d never moaned anyone’s name during orgasm before, but Steve was the only exception. He reached his bliss second later.

“On second thought, shower sex was just great for a first time.” you said, and he chuckled. “Where did you, uh, where did you hear about it?”

“Uhm, do you remember the mission like eight months ago when Stark and I got stuck on a desert island for six days?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, turns out, Stark opens up quite easily about his sensual experiences…”

“Noo. No way!” you laughed as you stepped out of the shower and started drying your hair with a towel.

“Yes way.” Steve followed you and took over the towel to dry your hair. “I also heard about other stuff, but those require a bed.” he smirked suggestively.

“In that case it’s a good thing I happen to own one.” you kissed his lips and wished that day would never end.

The last memory could not have been any clearer and it was breaking your heart all over again.

It was no question who’s side you were on when the civil war between Tony and Steve broke out… You got used to the life being on the run with Steve, Natasha and Sam in no time, although you still missed the others as well. They were the closest thing to a family you’ve ever had, and the rupture pained you badly at times. When Steve decided to collect the rest to unite in the fight against the greatest threat that ever endangered the universe, you were glad. You never knew how this beginning would mean the end of your relationship.

The first avengers Steve decided to recruit were Wanda and Vision in Europe, and frankly, you got there just in time. There’s a chance that a couple of minutes later there would’ve been no one to recruit… Your heart skipped a beat when you realized who you were up against, but you couldn’t allow yourself to ponder – lives were on the line. You helped Natasha stab Glaive and when Proxima Midnight grabbed your shoulder and turned you in her direction to deliver a punch, her fist froze mid-air.

“Y/N?” she asked uncertainly, but you didn’t answer. Sam flew in and kicked her to Glaive’s side. “Your father will hear about this, I promise.” she threatened before vanishing in blue light.

Everybody was panting, the fight exhausted all of you. Other than that, no sound could be heard.

“What was she talking about, doll?” Steve spoke up finally, asking the question everyone was dying to hear the answer to.

You all boarded the Quinjet, but you and Steve went to a separate cabin to discuss matters first.

He didn’t shout. He didn’t hit you or try to kill you on spot, though you were absolutely certain you would’ve deserved it. He just sat there. Quietly. He didn’t utter a word while you were telling him that you, in fact, were not human. You were a member of a species called ‘Inhuman’, which was the result of mixing Kree genes with human ones, and this is the reason why you possess the blue fire. He didn’t say a thing while you were telling him that as a child, Thanos snatched you and brought you up as his own daughter alongside two other girls, Nebula and Gamora, and turned the three of you into the most feared assassins in the entire galaxy. His mouth stayed shut while you were telling him that coming to Earth was a mission ordered by Thanos to gain intel on what was going on here and you were deemed fit for it as you looked like humans.

“But I stopped delivering information years ago, Steve! Do you know why? Because I fell in love with you! And because I realized the error of my father’s ways! He lied to me throughout my entire life and manipulated me into believing his false ideology! Steve? Please, say something, Steve…”

“Leave.”

You were not sure if the word echoed in the room or was it just your own mind.

“What?”

“I said, leave.” he stood up. There was no sign of fury on his face. Only disappointment. You didn’t move, so he continued.

“You were the very first woman I loved after Peggie, which I thought would be impossible for a long-long time… I loved you, Y/N. You saved me in more than one way, and after the war I wanted to settle down with you. Start a family. But you know this damn well, for fuck’s sake… And now it turns out I never even knew you…”

“But Steve, you knew me, in fact, you know me!” you interrupted with a cracking voice.

“No, doll, I didn’t. And I don’t.”

You ran up to him and cupped his face, but he refused to look at you. Your palms were wet from the tears he shed. He peeled your hands off him slowly.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, I could never do that. But I want you to leave. I don’t care who’s side you’ll fight on in this war or if you decide to sit it out, just whatever you do, stay away from me. God, I can’t even look at you, Y/N.”

You couldn’t stop the sobs surfacing from your chest.

The flashback scenes stopped, and the blue fire was burning more than ever inside of you. Steve had been right all those years ago… if you overdrove yourself, it would consume you from the inside and everything else in your immediate proximity, too. But if this was the only way of defeating your father and saving the universe, so be it. Suddenly, numbness took the place of pain and you subjected to it.

A high number of people showed up to your funeral organized at Tony’s lake house. Everybody placed a white rose on top of your empty casket and expressed their condolences to Steve, but he wasn’t paying attention at all. He tried to, really hard, but he just couldn’t. Tony was the last person to go there and place his rose.

“You know Rogers, I’ve never been one to sugarcoat things and I’m not gonna lie this time, either.” he said, his words making Steve look him in the eyes. “From what I hear… If you had kept your mouth shut, she’d still be here… At least there’s a high chance for that. But there’s also a high chance that half of the fucking universe wouldn’t. Respect her choice... That’s what I’m trying to do.”

Chapter 7l Chapter 9

Chapter 8

“And you haven’t seen him in how many days?”

“It depends,” Hvitserk raised a finger at the brunette waiting for him at the other end of the bar, while he balanced his phone between his shoulder and his ear, “What’s today?”

“I’m going to kill you.” Ubbe paced between his kitchen and dining room.

Why did he trust his baby brother with his irresponsible one, again? Ivar tried to warn him on the way to the airport, but Ubbe thought that this time Hvitserk could be responsible. This time, he would actually do what needed to be done and make sure that his brother was taken care of. “Has he been wearing his braces? Is he taking his pain medication?” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, “How are things going with that girl? Are they getting along? He kept calling me a few days ago. I have been trying to call back but I don’t get any answer.”

Hvitserk shrugged and reached for the bowl of pretzels on the bar, “Bubbe…I don’t know what to tell you. You know these young kids these days – they get hair on their balls and they think they’re grown.” He knocked back his shot of Cîroc before signaling to the bartender for another.  

“You need to find my brother and make sure he’s alright.”

“Ah, stop your babying. Ivar is fine.” He shook his head and sighed, “You and Bjorn have to stop treating that man like a child. He’s probably having the only good sex in his life and forgot to check-in. You know what that’s like…”

“Or... he could be in a hospital wing somewhere, so full of drugs that he can’t call to say that he needs us.” Ubbe tried to swallow the panic that started to rise again in his throat at the thought of Ivar hooked up to machines in the ICU of a Viennese hospital. “What if he comes to and they only speak German and it takes a while for him to understand them? What if Cash ditched him and stole all his money?” Ubbe sat with a thud and felt his head fall forward, “I should take a flight to Vienna to check for myself.”

“What money? Ivar is the poor one, remember? He doesn’t work - all that money for a degree in computers, wasted. We all take care of him, freeloading fucker that he is…” Hvitserk held the phone away from his ear to laugh. Was this Ubbe, the calm, level-headed one, having a panic attack? If he knew how to work his damn phone he would have recorded this conversation, “I cannot believe it. You have turned into Mother!” Hvitserk's smile made it hard for him to speak.

“You are thinking about him all wrong, Boob,” he continued, “Think, what if that man is finally busting a nut? What if he’s figuring out different ways to fuck despite his legs, huh? Nobody likes missionary all the time and judging from the way the girl looks, and she is a looker, I don’t think she’ll want to just lay there and take it. I bet she wants adventure…she’s probably got him twisted up like a pretzel.” He studied the pretzel in his hand before popping it in his mouth and crunched loudly. “Cash has my number – she knows our hotel. If there was a problem she would contact me.” He ran his thumb over his fingers to rid them of the salt and let his eyes drift back to the end of the bar. His conquest of the evening was still there nursing her drink.

Ubbe sighed, resting his head on his palm. Hvitserk was right, he needed to loosen the reins on Ivar some, but he had been his responsibility for so long. “You’re right.” He found himself smiling at the audible gasp Hvitserk made on the other end of the phone, “Can you just have him call me, please? I just need to make sure he’s okay.”

“Yes, Mother.” Hvitserk made his way toward the end of the bar and nodded at the young woman sitting there. “Now if you’ll excuse me, a beautiful Swiss girl is waiting for me and I have to pretend that I only speak limited English and don’t understand German, French or Italian.”

“Hvitserk…” Ubbe could hear his brother smiling through the phone at the disappointment in his voice.

“Fuck you, I’m having drunken, holiday sex tonight.”

Cash gently pressed her lips to Ivar’s as she reached across his body to the bedside table. In one quick motion, she snatched up the remote control and rolled back over to her place among the pillows, “Finally,” she rolled her eyes and began flipping channels.

“Did you kiss me only for the television?” He turned to her and slid his arm around her waist. “You could have said you wanted a different program.” He placed several kisses on her bare shoulder before settling his head in the bend of her neck.

She rolled her eyes as the fingers of her free hand played with the hair on his arm. “We’ve been watching this sports car show for the last hour. Are you planning on buying one? Do you even know how to drive? Oh, wait…no, you don’t.” She squirmed when his teeth sunk into her neck and she let out a laugh, “But you’re all like, ‘ooh, that one is like 0-100 in a half a second’, who the hell needs to go that fast?”

“A lot of people. Otherwise, they would not make cars that are able of those speeds.”

“Capable,” she corrected.

“Hmm?” He leaned his head back on the pillows to look at her.

She smiled, never letting her eyes leave the television. Her goal wasn’t to embarrass him, but she had noticed a few mistakes that he made here and there with his English. Hell, she thought it was cute. But what type of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t try to help him improve? “You said are able of those speeds, the word is capable. ‘Otherwise, they wouldn’t make cars that are capable of reaching those speeds.’ That’s the more formal way to say it. Or, if you want to be more conversational, you could say, ‘Otherwise, they wouldn’t make cars that can go that fast.’ I have no idea if that’s right, but that’s how you’d say it in an everyday conversation.”

“Well then, when I am capable to buy a car, I will have one that goes that fast.” He said, pulling her body closer to him and closing his eyes against her warmth.

Cash giggled and continued to change the channel. “Now you want to use can. ‘When I can buy a car…” She looked over at his confused look and kissed his forehead. “Never mind.” Her grammar lesson was cut short by the ringing of her phone. As she wiggled away from Ivar’s protesting arms, she managed to slide out of the warmth of the covers.

Ivar propped himself up on one elbow and watched as she padded across the room to retrieve her phone. The glow of the television illuminated the otherwise dim room, just enough for him to make out every inch of her naked body. “You do not need to answer,” he smiled wolfishly.

Shaking her finger and head at him, simultaneously, Cash smiled, “Oh no, Mr. Horndog. We’re going to the Prater tonight.” She had heard so many things about the amusement park in the center of town and she desperately wanted to take pictures from the Ferris wheel. “…get a little bit of ass and now you don’t know how to act,” she poked her tongue at him as he threw a pillow at her.

Cash looked at her phone and furrowed her brow. “It’s Hvitserk.” Noticing how Ivar sat up on the bed, she couldn’t escape the feeling of dread that crept through her. “Hello… Hvitserk?”

“Hallo, this is Hvitserk,” Hvitserk tried his best to sound sober as squatted next to the brick wall of the bar, smoking a cigarette, “Cash, how are you? Is my brother, ah Ivar, able to talk?”

“Um, sure.” She held the phone out to Ivar and made her way over to the bed, “It’s for you?” She shrugged when Ivar asked why Hvitserk was calling and on her phone, no less. “I don’t know.”

Placing the phone to his ear, Ivar took in a breath before speaking, “Hallo, for Ivar.”

“Ivar? This is, Hvitserk. I do not wish to talk to you because I will be having sex this evening. You will not be the only one to get lucky on this holiday.” Impressed with the ease in which he was speaking English while tipsy, he wondered why it was always easier for him to speak the language than when he was sober. Maybe it was because he wasn’t thinking about if he was saying anything wrong. But, just as soon as the thought came into his head, it left. “Ubbe is going fucking crazy with worry over you, yes. So, call him. Whatever you are doing, stop, and call him, right now. I have invoked my elder brother’s status and I do not want an argument. Understand?” He waited for just a moment to see if he would get a response, but when none came, he spoke a little more sternly. “Ivar? Forstå?”

“Yes, okay.” Ivar looked around the room at a loss for words. “Bye.” He handed the phone back to Cash with a quizzical look on his face. “I think I am in trouble.” He shrugged, and motioned to his shorts, “Can you…”

She quickly retrieved his white t-shirt and grey sweat shorts, which had been discarded quickly when they made their way back from Schonbrunn Palace earlier in the day. It was something about the blue skies, the gardens, and the palace museum. Ivar had taken at least 25 photographs of them and at least 100 more of her alone in the palace gardens. The day was perfect. Even being surrounded by 500 other tourists, being in Schonbrunn Palace was romantic. Cash couldn’t wait to get him back to the hotel room and judging by the way he had pushed her up against the wall as soon as they closed the door to her room, neither could he.

Their clothes had been made quick work of, his shorts and shirt, ending up near the bathroom door. Her sundress looked to be crumpled up near the patio door. Just a glance around the room told her that she was going to have to search for her panties.

Slipping his t-shirt over her thin body, she handed him his shorts. “What happened?”

Ivar shrugged, “Hvitserk said he’s going to have sex and he does not want to speak to me. But, I am to call Ubbe, right now.” He regarded the way she shrugged her shoulders and upturned her palm in this pose that seemed like it was not something to be worried about, “Then he yelled at me. He said, he was my big brother and I must do as he says.”

Cash sat on the bed and smoothed the strands of his hair that had fallen out of his bun, “Maybe he’s just horny.”

“Ja,” Ivar nodded, “Hvitserk is mostly hungry and horny.” Using his arms to pull his legs over the side of the bed, he leaned over to pull on his shorts. “I have to call my brother. I will go outside to smoke.” He kissed her softly and smiled, before sliding onto the floor and crawling his way toward the patio door.

With his back leaning against the French doors, Ivar outstretched his legs onto the smooth stone slabs that made up the garden patio, just outside of Cash’s hotel room. He could have easily slid his way over to one of the lawn chairs, but that would have taken more energy than he had at the moment. Hopefully, his call to Ubbe wouldn’t take long, but just in case it did, he was prepared with a glass of wine, a pack of cigarettes, and a fully charged telephone.

As he lit his cigarette, he watched the screen on his phone, putting on a huge smile when he saw his brother’s face on the other end. “Bubbe! You look tired.”

Ubbe’s narrowed his eyes at his younger brother before a genuine smile crossed his lips. He was just so happy to see the younger man’s face. “Don’t you, you look tired, me. I have been worried sick about you.” Ubbe spoke in his native tongue, too mentally exhausted to try to translate into English to have a conversation with his younger sibling, “I have been calling you for days, afraid that you were in a hospital, or lying in a ditch somewhere.”

“Why would I be in a ditch or a hospital?” Ivar took a sip of wine and shook his head, “I was with Cash. Serk knows where I am.”

That comment warranted an eye roll from the older man, “Serk is an irresponsible asshole. I don’t know why the fuck I trusted him with you.” He ran his hand down his beard and tugged on its end, a habit that he’d started once his beard became long enough to plait. “Are you okay? Are you eating? Have you been taking your medication? Wearing your braces?”

Ivar blinked slowly at the screen trying his best to hide his annoyance. He normally relied on his brother taking care of him, but right now that’s not what he wanted. He wanted to be treated like an adult. He wanted his brothers to treat him with the same type of freedom to make his own decisions – the way that he felt when he was with Cash. “Boob, I’m fine. Really.”

Never wanting to make his brother feel uncomfortable, Ubbe switched tactics. He let himself relax and the lines between his bright blue eyes started to soften a bit, “So? Tell me…how’s the girl?”

Even if Ubbe couldn’t see his face, he would have heard his smile through the phone, “Fuck. I don’t know what to say…” Ivar shrugged his shoulders, his words were almost inaudible because of the size of his smile. “She’s amazing. Oh, I need to send these pictures of us.” He punched a few buttons on his phone and waited until his brother received his text. When Ubbe looked up at him with wide eyes, Ivar smiled so hard, that his eyes crinkled in the corners, “I know, she’s beautiful, right.”

With an eyebrow raise and head nod, he agreed. “And everything is good with your,” Ubbe thought of how to say it gently, “condition?”

Ivar chuckled, “Which one?”

There were a couple of things that sprang to mind, but Ubbe was mainly worried about how Cash reacted to Ivar’s physical impairment. Most of his emotional insecurities all stemmed from his lack of confidence physically. “All of them?”

“She didn’t care about my legs - she just wanted to know why I didn’t tell her.” He blew out the last puff of smoke and crushed the cigarette butt against the ground. “I’m completely comfortable with her seeing and touching all of me.”

“Whoa! That’s a big step for you!” He was impressed. Ubbe hadn’t met Cash before but if he could get Ivar to overcome his insecurities in less than two weeks, she was definitely something special. “And how are things in the other department?” He raised his brows at the question.

Ivar could feel the heat of embarrassment creep up his neck, but he felt more comfortable talking to Ubbe about these things than anyone else. “Well, we’ve been trying some things. I still haven’t been able to…you know... finish. But, we’ve been working on it. We do some things with each other, by ourselves…next to each other. It’s all very interesting and a lot of fun.” He closed his eyes at the hardy laugh and hand clap that came from the other end of the phone. “I’m telling you Boob, I’m so close. I can feel it. I just have to stop thinking.”

“Well that’s the problem, Ives,” Ubbe wagged his finger at the wide blue eyes staring at him, “you’re supposed to be fucking, not thinking! And when it happens, it’s going to be amazing.” He hadn’t seen his brother this happy in a long time. It was so good to see Ivar smile with his eyes – a smile so big that he could count all of his teeth. “I’m so happy for you, Ivar. I really am.”

Ivar tugged at the band holding his bun in place and let his hair spill down around his shoulders, “I swear that must be what Hvitserk and Bjorn feel like. I just want to be with Cash all the time. Every time she touches me anywhere, or if I smell her I just want to kiss her. When she’s not in the room with me, I want to find her. When she’s asleep, I talk to her…This isn’t me, Boob.”

“You’re in love, little brother.”

Ivar looked up at the phone and furrowed his brows. Was that what he was feeling? What he was experiencing wasn’t just that giddy new relationship feeling? He had felt something similar to this with Freydis, but it wasn’t this intense. With Freydis there was always a feeling that he had to do something or be something that would always keep her happy, otherwise, she would leave. And that’s exactly what she did. Even though this relationship with Cash was new, he didn’t feel that way. Even when they were just talking on the phone, he never once felt that if he made the slightest mistake that she would up and leave him.

“Have you two talked about visiting each other once you come home?” Ubbe interrupted Ivar’s musings, watching the wide smile slowly slide off of the youngest Ragnarsson’s face. Realization dawned on him that the thought hadn’t crossed his brother’s mind, “Ivar, your holiday is over in 3 days…”

Ivar’s demeanor changed almost immediately. The defensive wall that he spent so much of his life hiding behind was slowly starting to rise without him noticing. “I don’t want to think about it.”  

“Well, you have to think about it.” Sometimes it was hard being the older brother. All he ever wanted was for his baby brother to be happy, but Ubbe was the voice of reason. It was his personality type. That’s why he had such a good relationship with all of his brothers, because no matter what the situation, he was always level headed and always sensible. “You care for her, and she cares for you. When you leave, you two will be half a world away again. What will you do then, hmm?”

Lighting another cigarette, Ivar leaned his head back against the door and closed his eyes.

“Bitch, where have you been?” Glenn shouted through the phone. “You been getting that ass tore out the frame, huh?”

Cash closed the door to the bathroom, while Ivar sat outside talking to his brother, so she could talk to her best friend. She missed Glenn so much. It had been almost two weeks since she had talked to him and she had so much to dish about. “Well, you know how I do…” She laughed sticking out her tongue. “Bitch…he is fine as a motherfucker! And that body…and that hair, and them eyes….oh, bitch.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch, rub it in,” Glenn sucked his teeth, “You’re off gallivanting around the world getting foreign dick and I’m still sitting in dry ass Baltimore looking at Corey’s stupid ass.” Looking out his side driver’s side mirror, he merged his car into the left lane before adjusting the volume on his car’s stereo to better hear Cash. “So, is he everything you expected?”

Even if Cash never put how she felt about Ivar into her words, the content sigh she let out said it all. “Glenn, he’s amazing. I mean, I liked him before, ya know? When we were just kicking it – but now since I met him? Oh my God, it’s like we just click.” She sat on the bathroom floor and put her feet up on the tub. Staring at her toes, she wondered if there was anywhere close by to get a decent pedicure. “We both have our hang-ups and ridiculous insecurities, but we help each other through them. Oh and get this…he’s a smoker.”

“What, like weed?”

“No, dummy. Cigarettes,” she chuckled.

“Cause I was about to say, if he knows how to roll a spliff then I need to meet the dude. You know they say those people in Amsterdam know how to get down.”

Cash shook her head, “He’s from Norway, not The Netherlands.”

Glenn popped his lips and rolled his eyes, but not so dramatically that he took them off of the road, “Well, bitch, it’s all the same place… Sweden/Switzerland, Austria/Australia, Norway/Denmark/Holland/The Netherlands…they all the same country.”

“You’re so fucking ignorant.” God, she missed laughing with him. It felt like forever since she’d seen him. She was used to hanging out with Glenn every day, listening to his crazy stories, and having what she considered a brother from another mother at her side, always. “And what if I said you were Mexican, bitch?”

He scoffed at the thought, “I would say, ‘Boricuan, puta! Wepa!’” Both Glenn and Cash broke out singing the recurring Wepa portion of the old Gloria Estefan song at the same time. Glenn danced in his car seat and beat on the steering wheel, while Cash bobbed her head and stomped her feet. They both broke out in a fit of laughter afterward. It was good to have someone that could just read your mind, and know when you were going to spontaneously start singing, come in, right on beat and harmonize with you, without any prompting.

“So, why didn’t he say anything?” Glenn asked, turning the conversation back to Ivar. It definitely wouldn’t be something that he would have picked for a guy that his best friend was dating.

“I don’t know. I mean, he’s a grown-ass man, dawg. I can’t stop him from smoking. Granted, I don’t really like it, but it is what it is. I don’t even mind that much…he’s just so…uhhhh!”

“Bitch,” Glenn shook his head and smiled, “You got it bad.” He knitted his brows as the realization hit him, “What are you going to do?”

“About what?”

“You coming home in three days, bitch. Y’all start talking about that yet?” Cash’s silence was his answer, “I already know you gonna be a sad, bitch. Shit, I be watching 90 Day Fiancé, and I see how hard that leaving shit is.”

Cash rested her head against the sink’s vanity and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think about leaving. She had been tucked so safely in the little bubble that she and Ivar had created this whole time that she never allowed herself to think about it ending. This couldn’t end. How could anyone reasonably expect her to get on a plane and leave him? It wasn’t fair. They just found each other – like really found each other and now it had to be over?

“What you gonna do, sis?”

Shaking her head, Cash felt hot tears pool in her eyes. Instantly, she started to fold her bottom lip with her finger, a telltale sign that she was nervous, “I have no idea.”

Tags:

Chapter 6 

Chapter 7

When Ivar moved across the floor, there was grace in his movements. His motions were fluid, and because he didn’t use his legs to aid him, how he curved his spine to usher his mobility gave him the agility of a big cat stalking his prey. One-shoulder worked in tandem with the hip on the opposite side of his body creating this... glide, that was simply fucking sexy.  Cash found herself wondering how good the view of him crawling would look from underneath him.      

Crawling for Cash, however, was anything but graceful. She hadn’t gotten very far, just from the dresser to the full-length mirror, but fuck a duck if it wasn’t hard. At first, she tried to be all sexy, and crawl on her hands and knees, but when she realized Ivar couldn’t use his knees, she switched to an Army crawl.  

After the first pass across the floor, she knew this crawling idea was going to be short-lived.  Not only did she not possess the upper body strength to keep it up, but she was also getting hella ashy.  It was bad enough the rain had washed away most of her lotion, but now she was sliding around on the carpet. She was going to look like she had been rolling around in flour at any minute. Her mother would have a fucking fit if she saw the state she was in.

And how the hell was she supposed to get her toiletry tote across the room? It wasn’t like it was a backpack. It was hard enough trying to maneuver herself around, let alone bring something with her.  She had tried dragging it and even pushing it in front of her.  Both ways were taking forever.  At the rate she was going, she and the tote would get to the mirror by her 30th birthday.  

Ivar leaned against the bed watching with curiosity.  He had never seen an able-bodied person struggle so hard to crawl. Why didn’t she just get up on all fours? He appreciated that view of her.  It was much more seductive then whatever the hell she was doing now.  Currently, she looked like she was trying to do the worm in a breakdance competition for quadriplegics.  

“It may be easier if you use your arms.  You have all of your weight on your elbows.  Try using your wrists and hands. That way, you can move your bag with you.” Ivar laid on his stomach facing Cash and demonstrated, “See?  Like this…” 

“See, like this,” Cash mocked in a high pitched voice rolling her eyes as she continued to struggle across the floor.  Suddenly, she felt the sting of his hand as it landed flat on her ass. It sounded much worse than it felt.  It didn’t hurt in the least, but she still gave him the evil eye, “Did you just?” she feigned shock.  

Being the youngest child, Ivar got away with a lot of shit.  He was used to blaming one of his brothers for everything and he always got away with it. It became a little game he liked to play with them that he lovingly titled, ‘How much trouble can I get you in?’  It was during that time that he started doing this mocking, side to side head motion to symbolize his victory.  As an adult, during a triumph, he continued to rock his head in this obnoxious manner, only now, it also included a shit-eating grin, followed by a dab.  

Cash watched the most incredibly mischievous smile spread across Ivar’s face as he bobbed his head and then he dabbed the air.  He spoke some foreign words and seemed mighty pleased with himself. “Oh, chuckle it up, Chuckles.” She rolled her eyes and sat up.  “Ya, perv.”

God, he had been wanting to do that ever since she started crawling. He just wanted to see if her ass was really as soft as it looked.  It was, and it had the right amount of bounce.  “Sorry. I could not resist,” his smile was so big, it was hard to make out what he was saying, “You were making fun of me. It was all I could think to do,” he whined.

Cash turned toward the mirror and started to dump out the contents of her bag. She picked up her wide-tooth comb and folded her legs beneath her. Leaning into the mirror, she fixed her eyes squarely on his image, “If you wanted to cop a feel, all you had to do was ask.”  She watched as his mouth opened and closed, like a fish. 

“What are you going to do?”  He asked, folding his hands in his lap. 

Cash parted her hair down the middle and secured half of it with a ponytail holder. Carefully detangling the other half with a comb, she reached in the bag for a jar and struggled with the top, “I’m going to put my hair in two braids, so I won’t look totally crazy.”  She held the jar out to Ivar.  “Can you open this for me?”

Silently, he crawled to where she sat and took the jar out of her hands.  With one turn he had the lid opened.  “This smells wonderful. What is it?”  

“A moisturizing mask.”

“It smells like coconuts and berries, and…and,” he took another big sniff but couldn’t quite place the scent, “I don’t know but it is amazing.  It smells soft. Like you.”

“Jasmine,” she took the jar from his hand and tried not to blush.  He thought she smelled soft?  “I made this.”

“You make this?”

“It’s not hard,” she shrugged, “All you need are some essential oils for the smell and different kinds of butters.  It’s pretty easy.  It’s good to keep moisture in.  I could even use it on your hair and it wouldn’t be greasy.  See feel.” She titled her hair for Ivar to feel her hair without the moisturizer. “Now you know I must like you because I’m letting you touch my hair.”  Then, she scooped a small amount of product onto her palm before rubbing it into her hair. After she had worked it though she tilted her head toward him again.  “Now feel.”

His eyes grew with amazement.  “That feels awesome.”  Of course, he couldn’t help but bring his nose to her hair.  “And it smells good.” His nose brushed the side of her ear before making its way to her neck, then back into her hair.  “I like this smell.”

Cash giggled at the feeling, but she couldn’t ignore the tiny goosebumps that started to prickle every inch of her skin.  “Do you know how to braid?”  She asked feeling her neck slowly start to lean more into the warmth of this breath. 

“Hmm?” He looked at her eyes in the mirror and noticed that he had been rubbing her arm.  When did that happen?  What the hell was in that jar? “Braid?  A little. I used to help my mother when I was young. She has very long hair.” He watched as a smooth smile crossed Cash’s face.  “Oh, no.  I cannot. I am terrible at it.”  

“Oh, you know nothing, Jon Snow,” she handed him a brush, “you do mine, and  I’ll do yours.”

“And we can have a sleeping party, like girlfriends,” he mocked in a high pitched girl voice and twirled his hair around his finger, “...and paint each other’s nails and do make-overs!”

“That’s a slumber party, jerk. And as long as there are no pillow fights, I’d be okay with it.”  She nudged his shoulder with her own. “But, I hope you don’t want to be my girlfriend.”

Ivar took the comb from Cash and looked at the floor.  He didn’t want to chance to catch her eyes in the mirror, just in case, “I was really kind of hoping that you would want to be mine.”  

“Really?”  Cash asked said softly before capturing his lips for a soft kiss.  “Good. It’s about time.  I was getting gray hair over here, waiting on you to make a move...”  Smiling into his lips, she wondered, how did her tongue always end up in his mouth?  Was she capable of kissing him without needing to feel his velvety tongue on hers?  She pulled away slightly and pecked him a few more times. “Now, I can’t be all kissing and everything with my hair looking like this.  I’m too cute to be looking this tore up. So you helping or nah?”  

Braiding each other’s hair had been the most intimate thing Cash had ever done with a man, besides Glenn, with her clothes on.  Why was it so easy to trust him?  She let him touch her hair – generally speaking, black women don’t let people other their mothers or their hairdresser touch their hair. Hell, Cash’s parents had been married for over 30 years and she seriously doubted that her father had ever touched her mother’s hair. She had known this man for almost 48 hours and she had already let him see her with ashy legs.  What the fuck was really going on?  

It was something more than just being comfortable around him being bushy and ashy, that’s for sure.  Maybe it was the fact that the things that she normally would be embarrassed about she didn’t give a fuck about anymore. She was pretty sure that if she needed to fart in front of him, she would have,  That’s how secure she felt with him.  

Ivar was amazed that he stopped focusing on his the fact that his bare legs were showing and that he was crawling, hours ago. Whatever it was that he was nervous about before he had met Cash in person seemed like a distant memory.  He had just let this woman braid his hair like he was a girl playing beauty shop. 

Granted, the hairstyle looked badass, especially with the way his head was shaved on the sides – but he knew for sure none of his brothers would have let their girlfriends do that.  Hvitserk would talk shit to him about it for years to come because of it, too.  But, he didn’t care, it felt right.  Everything about her delicate fingers gripping his hair and gently massaging his scalp felt incredible. If she wanted to take every braid out and start all over, he would let her.  He would let her do whatever she wanted if it would make her smile.

Speaking of smiling, as he flipped through his phone for more music for them to listen to, his face lit up when he ran across their song. “You feel like singing?” As soon as the opening beat of Imported by Jessie Reyes ft. 6lack started playing, Cash let her head lean back and smiled.  

Ivar grabbed a brush, and handed her one, too.  If they were going to do this duet any justice, they both needed their microphones and to get into character. Mother nature was already setting the scene outside with the rain still beating down against the patio, creating the perfect backdrop for their music video. 

Bringing the hairbrush up to his mouth, he wanted Cash to see how he had choreographed his movements to the song.  He only wished that he had his braces on because he had an entire dance to go with it.  

Hi, my name is 6Lack And sometimes people me SIX-LACK I don’t mind because they stubborn And my bank account is looking mighty fine We can skip the wine and dine Go straight for the wind and grind She wanna cum, I can make it happen, fuck trying

Ivar rolled his hips from his sitting position on the floor with a devilish look on his face that made Cash lick her lips.  Damn, that boy could sing. Plus, he was sexy and gyrating…fuck! She was trying so hard to be good, but the song was talking about going straight for the wind and grind making people cum and sexy stuff and whatnot…she was only human.

Sometimes, I get messy, you can be my biggest secret I ain’t sliding if you wit him Baby, you gon’ have to have to leave him

Ivar wagged his finger at Cash to let her know that he wasn’t the cheating type. He winked at her when she smiled. 

I got morals on Sundays, sometimes on Wednesdays

He shrugged his shoulder and raised a brow.

Really, it depends but,

Ivar tried his best not to laugh at the face she was making at his stage-worthy performance. He was giving her his best big dick energy vibes. 

You, you’re in love with somebody else Maybe I could offer some help (Maybe I could offer some help) Get over them by getting under me

He watched as Cash closed her eyes and began to sing.  He could listen to her sing all day.  She had a beautiful voice and he loved the changes she made to songs. He especially loved what she did to Jessie Reyes’s part of this song.  

But you might O.D. if you get too much of me Might O.D. if you get too much of me

Cash, too, had a routine for this song, but she was not going to do it for him. Instead, she just did what felt natural at the moment.  She ran her hand down her throat to her collarbone then pulled her legs up to her chest. As she sang, she rubbed her cheek against her knee and gave him a vulnerable stare…

Hi, my name is not important I’m not from here, I’m imported I drink liquor like it’s water Hope my liver can afford it I’ve been lyin’ here with I’ve been lyin…, I’ll be lyin here I’m under the covers like

Her voice…that was the same voice he had listened to countless times over the phone, that was singing to him in person.  It was a little overwhelming.  He reached up and cupped her cheek, and when she opened her eyes he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss so slow and deep and it conveyed every thought and feeling that Ivar couldn’t put into words. 

He had so much he wanted to tell her, too.  Like how he was glad she replied to his comment that day on the Jessie Reyes blog for this song.  He had been listening to Imported on repeat because he was still in love with Freydis.  Even though they had been broken up for a couple of years and he didn’t want her back, he couldn’t get over her.  He was stuck mourning for what they could have been. He had so many hopes and dreams for them.  He thought he had found a beautiful woman that could love him despite his disabilities and he would have a chance at a normal life.  But, it didn’t work that way. Nothing in his life ever worked out that way.

Enter this song and this girl: the song was about finding someone to help you get over a broken heart and the girl...she was feeling a certain way because her first serious boyfriend, who she hadn’t been for over five years, was getting married.  Feelings had a funny way of fucking you up.  

But there they were; keyboard gangsters, in their feelings and being flirty.  They were two people on different continents who were never going to meet, so what harm was it to bare their souls?  Nobody ever died from having another friend; especially friends that liked to sing loved musicals and could go into a monologue from a movie with just the last word of a sentence. Really, friends like that were hard to come by.  

Now, if things kept going in the right direction, soon they would be lovers.  

Thank you, Jessie Reyes.

Cash bit Ivar’s neck, causing him to groan and squeeze her body tighter. Good thing the rain hadn’t washed off the scent of Aqua di Gio that seemed to be oozing from his pores.  Damn! How did he know exactly what scents got her going?  Did this man always smell like walking sex?  And was it natural for a man to have skin this damn soft?  

She watched her fingers as they trailed the lines of his tattoo along his left shoulder.  “What’s this?”  She asked as her fingertips came dangerously close to his nipple, before tracing the line back up the head of the figure to the center of his chest.

Ivar watched her nail slowly move across his skin and tucked his lip in between his teeth at the feeling.  “The mythical Norse dragon, Fáfnir.” Did his voice just crack?  She made him feel like a teenager all over again.  

Cash giggled.  She loved the way he suddenly started rolling his “r” and how his “th” started to sound like a z.  Had it always and she just not notice?  “Your accent is stronger,” she let her tongue follow along the line of his jaw, “it’s so sexy.”  

“It’s hard to concentrate on English,” he said matter-of-factly, making sure to slur his Norwegian tongue into his English words,  hands still gripping her waist, gently rocking with her on his lap, “when you do that.”  He pointed his chin toward the ceiling to grant her better access to his Adam’s apple, “You know, I don’t think I have ever been in this situation and had to speak English.”

Cash's eyes opened in bewilderment as she lifted her head. “You know what? I’ve never seen an uncircumcised penis.”  The thought just hit her.  If they were about to go there and she hoped to God they were, they needed to get all of this shit out of the way.  She sat back on his thighs and looped her arms around his neck.  

Ivar’s smile was so big, his eyes crinkled in the corners.  “Now?  You think of that now?  Really?” 

“I’m serious.”  She said settling back with a slight pout, “Circumcision is a big thing in the US, like everybody does it.  But here, not so much, right?  I mean, you’re not Jewish, are you?”  She raised her brow and nudged her head toward him.  “You know what I mean?”

He shook his head.  “You want to know if I am?”

“Kinda?”  Talk about killing the mood.  There were things that she might want to try with him, but she wanted to know what she might be in for first. Nobody liked those kinds of surprises during sex.  “ Is that weird?”  There were just certain things you need to be upfront about. Even though she suspected she wasn’t certain. 

Ivar shrugged with a glint of mischief in his eyes.  “Perhaps you will just have to find out.”  

“Oh, just tell me.”  She slapped his bare chest and rolled her eyes when he made a face like it hurt. “I’ll tell you something.”  

“I’m not telling you that.  But, I will tell you, that I have never seen brown nipples.”  He ran his fingers between Cash’s bra straps and her shoulders, slowly lowering the straps down her arm. When she didn’t protest, he continued to pull the straps lower.  He looked her in the eyes while she bent her arms through the loops to free herself of them. 

Sucking his lip, he let his eyes trail from hers down to her lips, then lower to her neck.  He admired how her pulse quickened when his hands touched just above her cleavage and when his thumbs gently pushed the lace down to expose her to him, he wanted to lick the hollow of her throat.  “You are beautiful.”  

Brown, white, black or pink, skin was skin, and Cash’s was beautiful and the skin on her breasts was just as soft and warm as the rest of her.  He patiently waited while she unhooked her bra and discarded it away from them, before he wrapped his muscular arms around her, burying his face in between her breasts. “I love boobs.” 

“Really?” She said smiling, as he looked up at her from the middle of her chest. “You didn’t strike me a breast man.” 

“I am an everything man.”  He smiled rubbing his face across her soft skin.  “What is that smell?  God…”  

“Ahh…that is Heliotrope Gingembre,  my favorite perfume.”

“Mine now, too,” he said absently.  Closing his eyes with his head laid on her chest.

She kissed him on the top of his head and started to rub the back of his neck, “You think I don’t know that you’re avoiding my question?  I shared.”

“I did not ask you a question and you did not tell me anything.”  He looked up at her and started to bob his head with that shit-eating grin again.  

“I will pop that little bobblehead of yours off your shoulders.  Now you’re just cheating.”  She rolled off his lap and laughed when he pouted at her and started to reach for her like a child.  “Not until you answer me.”  She sat next to him, but faced him and absently rubbed her hand along the hair on his legs.

He watched in amazement as she did.  She didn’t seem the least bit weirded out by his scars. “Okay, I’m sorry. You want to know if I was cut as a baby?” Ivar laid back on the floor and laced his hand with hers.  He looked at their joined hands and held them up to his line of vision before rolling his wrist. Why prolong the inevitable?  She was going to find out sooner or later.  He figured, if she could see his legs and be perfectly with fine them, odds were she'd okay with an unsnipped prick.  “No,  I was not.”  He laid her hand on his stomach with the laziest hint of a smirk on his face.

“Hmm. Interesting,” she responded wiggling her toes.  She chewed the inside of her lip for a moment then shrugged her shoulders.  “Okay,” she got up on her knees and knelt beside him.  Cash let her hands trail down his muscular stomach and found herself smile when she realized that he was ticklish in the spot between his navel and his waist. 

Carefully, her deft fingers slid under the grey waistband of his boxer briefs before she smoothed her hands around to his hips.  Slowly, she lowered the shorts down his legs, never once taking her eyes off of his.  Since Ivar couldn’t hoist his backside off the floor, he aided her by rocking from side to side as she continued to pull the garment down lower and lower. 

And there he was.  Ivar Ragnarsson in all of his birthday glory.  He was a sexy man.  It was the moment of truth and Cash didn’t quite know what to do or say. Was she supposed to comment or compliment?  Was she supposed to touch him or ask questions? There was so much she wanted to do, but she wasn’t sure if any of it was okay.  

“So?” Ivar placed one hand behind his head and the other on his chest.  “No witty observations?”

“Well, you already know you’re sexy, AF.”  She tilted her head and let her fingers trace the dark line of hair that traveled from his navel to the soft tufts at his groin. “But this…it’s different.”

“Different?  What the hell does that mean?” Ivar laughed.  “It looks the same to me.” 

Her eyes got big and she nodded, “Well, you’ve seen it before.  I haven’t…” She touched it.  It felt the same as others she’d held in her hands.  It was thick, had a nice length, and just the right amount of curve to it.  The bounce back, when she pulled it toward her and let it go, so that it slapped back against his pelvis, made a good sound.  By all accounts, it was a normal cock.  It was hard, and hot in her hands and she even noticed how Ivar’s stomach clenched when she made contact with it.  “So does it feel different?”

“Different than what?” He asked with a labored breath as she continued to hold and turn him over in her hand.  “It feels the same to me.”  Did she know what she was doing to him? She wasn’t jerking him or doing anything sexual, not really, merely touching and having a conversation with him.  It was such a turn on.  

“Let me show you.”  He removed his hand from behind his head and placed it on himself. Lifting his head, he attempted some sort of origami thing with the skin.  “This, I think, is what you are used to seeing.”  He rolled his eyes in his head and sucked his teeth, “Whatever.”  He released the skin and smiled.  “My way is much better.  Much more sensation.” 

“Oh, really?”  She was intrigued.  If she were being honest, it wasn’t the cutest one she’d ever seen.  But, that was because she just wasn’t used to it, yet. She was sure in a few days, she would think it was the hottest one she’d ever seen! “How so?”

“This part in there…feels everything, sometimes too much.”  He picked up her hand and placed it back on his swollen member, before closing his eyes at the feeling, “Sometimes, you have to touch it through the skin…”

“Like a clit?” 

Ivar shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know.  I do not have one of those.”  He let his hand travel up Cash’s thigh and settle right below her hip.  “If direct pressure is applied to you, does it make you,” he wound his hands to try to drive the words forward, “finish faster?”

Now it was Cash’s turn to shrug, “Honestly?  I’ve never had an orgasm with another person.”

“What?”  Ivar sat up, instantly regretting the warmth of her hand leaving his body.  “Are you serious?”  This was great!  Neither had he. But wait…if neither of them had, then this could be the worst awkward first sexual experience in the history of awkward first sexual experiences. They would either be eternally frustrated or their first sexual encounter could literally last indefinitely.  

“Yup. Not ever.”  Cash sat up on her knees so that he had full access to her hips. She placed her hands on his and watched as he slowly started to pull down her panties.  “I think the guys that I’ve been with think all women like the same things.  They don’t want to hear that you might want something different, or they just are in it for themselves. I just usually finish myself off.”

Ivar smoothed the lace down her thighs and held still as she used his shoulders to brace herself against him so she could lift each knee up to allow him to slide the material under her legs. 

He didn’t want to seem like a total pervert but he couldn’t help but look at her. She was right next to him with the most neatly trimmed Mohawk he’d ever seen.  “You’re into landscaping?”  He didn’t reply when she nodded.  Instead, he pressed his lips to her stomach.  “So, when you finish yourself off, do you do it alone or in front of others?”

“Like do I perform?”  She gently caressed his head, “It depends on how deserving the audience is.”  

God, he wanted her.  But, he needed to get one more thing out in the open before that could happen.  He wanted total transparency between them, once and for all.  “Me either.” 

He felt his head being lifted from her warm skin and but he immediately dropped his eyes in embarrassment, “I have never had an orgasm during sex.  The doctor thinks it was stress.”   

“That is so sad,” she wanted to hug him, but she didn’t want to make him feel bad.   She was used to it.  There were millions of women who never had and probably never will have an orgasm – so was the plight of being a woman. But for Ivar to never experience it?  He was too sweet a guy.  It nearly broke her heart. “Do you at least get anything out of it?”

“Yeah. I like giving pleasure to someone else.” He tried to sound upbeat, but it wasn’t exactly a happy subject for him.  What he was saying was true, he used to thoroughly enjoy making Freydis feel good. But, what about him? Didn’t he deserve to feel that way? Shouldn’t he get to experience an orgasmic high, at least once in his life?  At least one time that wasn’t self-inflicted? “ And it does feel good.”

“Do you finish yourself off?”

“Never in front of anyone.”  A devilish smile crept across Ivar’s face and when Cash saw that mischievous twinkle in those beautiful blue eyes, her face broke out in a smile, too.  

Ivar had had many sexual conversations with women before but never before had he had a sex conversation with his partner.  This whole thing, this talking and being together, looking at, touching, and getting to know about each other…all of this intimacy was amazing.  

It was scary as hell for both of them, but damn it all if it didn’t feel natural.  Even if their first time together wouldn’t be perfect, or they would have figure out who couldn’t do what because of physical limitations or just plain dislike, it would all pay off in the end.  Neither of them had a point to try to prove to the other or to themselves.  All they needed to do was enjoy each other.  Who cared if neither had an orgasm?  For the first time, they both were feeling something they hadn’t felt in a very long time.  They felt at home, and safe with each other.   

Cash closed the space between them and pressed her lips to his, “Bed or floor.” She laughed when he laid back and put both hands behind his head.  “Oh yea, carpet burns and group masturbation...I knew you were freaky.” 

Tags: @oddsnendsfanfics​  @a-mess-of-fandoms​​ @waiting4inspiration @simsadventures​ @chipster-21​  @tgrrose​  @alicedopey​   @thelastemzy​​  @naaladareia​ @alexa4040​ @absolutelynotanidiot​ @pokeasleepingsmaug​ @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme​ @skadithegoddess​  @dina-m16​  @tiyetiye​ @synnersaint​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings@moonlightsspirit​ @geekandbooknerd​​ @dreamlesswonder86​ @inforapound @youbloodymadgenius​ @cruelfvckingsummer​ @mummybear @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @honestsycrets @thatendymion @jzr201

“Bitch, focus! This is not about you, right now.” She rolled her eyes at his smiling face. “I’m sitting here like, no fucking way. I’m being played for real.” Cash pulled her hoodie up over her head to hide her embarrassment. “Do you think he’s serious? That can’t be him. There’s no way fucking way that’s him.” She covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a scream. “What the fuck am I doing here? I don’t meet some guy on the internet and hop across an ocean to meet him.”

“Bitch you are living your best life.” Glenn’s smile faded quickly as he looked at his best friend. It was time for her to get that serious BFF talking to that she so desperately needed. “You will meet him and either he looks like that or he doesn’t.”  God, I hope he does, he found himself thinking. He wanted so badly for his friend to end up with someone beautiful and special, just like her. “You already know you’re into this man. When you meet, if it’s him, see where it goes. Shit, you might even get a little. If it’s not him and you still like him – worst-case scenario, ya still might get you some.”

“What if it is him and I don’t like him?”

“Then give him my number, bitch. Oye, Papi..."

"Fuck you, bitch. I love you. Bye,” Cash said before hanging up the phone.   

She sat there for a few more minutes, debated calling Ivar back. After she stared and stared at those pictures, his smile, the one with him with no shirt...how happy he looked with his brothers, how could she not call him back? Holding her breath, she hit his name on her WhatsApp and listened to the chime in her ear.  

Ivar snatched his ringing phone from his brother’s hand and answered the call quickly. “Hello? Cash?”

“Hey. Did you get the pictures?” She closed her eyes dying to ask him what he thought. She wouldn’t do it though. This was going to be a fun vacation and she wasn’t going to have any expectations.  

Putting his earbuds back in his ears, Ivar scrolled back to the photos on his phone to look at her beautiful face and smiled. “I did. Thank you. You have a perfect smile.” He could swear he could hear her blushing through the phone. “I now have a face to go with the voice I dream about.”  

“Ja, hallo?” The man who opened the door was blond, with the soft round face and he was not Ivar. His voice was deeper and a bit stuffier. Judging from the photo she had seen earlier, Cash ventured a safe guess that this was Ivar’s older brother. “Ah…you must be Cash.” He leaned against the door jam, shoving potato chips in his mouth, grinning. 

He inspected her, not long enough to make it creepy or awkward, but he did take the customary 3 seconds that men need to size up a woman. In that short amount of time, Hvitserk approved.  

“Hi. Is Ivar here?” Cash wondered if he could hear her heart pounding in her voice. This was a mistake. She shouldn’t have come. Not on this trip, not to his hotel room. None of it. She should have stayed her ass at home. 

Hvitserk stood at the door, nodding and smirking. She was about as nervous as Ivar was. God, they were cute. He couldn't wait to call Ubbe and Bjorn about this. 

"Can I come in?" She asked unsure why he standing there grinning at her like that.

"Oh, sure. You can take a seat. I have to find him. I will let him know you have arrived." 

She had so many questions. The first being, why was Ivar’s brother there? Was she about to be a MISSING post on Facebook? Was Ivar’s brother the one pretending to be Ivar, even though they sounded nothing alike?  

She took a seat on the couch and waited while the other man stepped out on the balcony. She heard two distinct voices speaking in a different language. She recognized Ivar’s voice right away and her heart skipped a beat.

The cigarette in Ivar’s hand started to shake. What was she doing here? They never made plans on what time they would meet. He still needed time to prepare. He needed to have a few drinks first. “I am not ready to meet her now.” He cut his eyes to try to peek around Hvitserk. “I can’t.” Oh God, what if he forgot how to speak English? Or what if his legs just gave out on him from being nervous?  

And if Hvitserk didn’t wipe that shit-eating grin off of his face he was going to punch him in the throat.

“Well, brother, she’s here and she's pretty cute.” Hvitserk was enjoying the hell out of this. He was so glad he came on this trip. “What are you so afraid of?” Ivar gave his brother a knowing look, then gestured to his legs. “Oh shit. You didn’t tell her?” The giggle that bubbled up from Hvitserk’s throat escaped before he could reign it in. “Ivar!”

Ivar watched as Hvitserk walked away and told Cash that he’d be out in a minute. There was no getting out of it now. He took one last strong pull off of the Marlboro before snuffing out the lit tip. With a deep exhalation of breath, he got to his feet, grabbed his crutches and slowly made his way through the balcony doors.

When he came through the door, he’d had his head down and his long, brown hair framed his face. As he made his way over to her, he straightened up and flung his hair back giving her a good look at him. 

Did her face always hurt this much when she smiled? 

Ivar watched mesmerized as Cash tucked her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt not to smile. It didn’t work, not with a smile as beautiful and vibrant as hers. It was infectious. As soon as she smiled, he forgot that he was supposed to be embarrassed and he smiled, too.

Those eyes. What shade of blue are they? He has perfect teeth. Are Norwegians usually that tan?  The tight blue Henley shirt he wore did everything to make every muscle in his arms and chest stand out.

It felt like time was standing still.  Those cheekbones, and her lips…fawning chocolate eyes. Her coloring is like honey. That shade of yellow against her skin…and those long, delicate fingers. Oh, God.  

“Yup. Like two puppies. Standing in the middle of the room, staring at each other.” Hvitserk held his phone’s camera out to give a panoramic view. “They still haven’t said a word.” He switched the camera’s view back to himself and looked at his brothers' smiling faces. “He is finally going to get some ass,” Hvitserk said in his native language, laughing as he walked back into his bedroom.

“You’re so tall.” Her voice was as melodic as it was over the phone.

He was almost an entire foot taller than her. “Ja. You are just a little thing.” Ivar smiled shyly, looking down at Cash. There was the voice that she knew. She had drifted to sleep listening to him read to her or sing, so many times. She didn’t know when his voice became a comfort. “Is it okay to hug you?”  

He smelled like Dior Sauvage mixed with a hint of cigarettes. Cash closed her eyes against the warmth of his muscular chest and honestly didn’t want to let him go. She was half hoping he’d kiss her, but when she opened her eyes and looked up at him, he stepped back slightly and motioned toward the couch.  

“I know I just kinda barged in on you. But, there was no way I could take a nap…I was too nervous. I had to meet you in person. I had to know – you know? Part of me was wondering if you were honest about who you really were. I mean, men that look like you, don’t start online relationships with women in other countries. Then go to yet another country to actually meet them. Unless of course, they’re trying to get a Green Card or take all her money or something.” 

Ivar was amazed that she said all of that in one breath. He couldn’t quite understand everything she said, but he enjoyed watching her mouth move as she said it. “I cannot understand everything when you talk so fast.” Rubbing his thick hand across his chin, he kept looking toward the hallway, afraid that his older brother would come out of the room and embarrass him.  

“I’m sorry. I’m just really glad that you turned out to be you.”

“I am, too.” Hvitserk was going to come out of his room at any moment. Ivar could feel it. He was already nervous enough, he couldn’t take the chance of having Hvitserk ruin everything. They had to leave. “Do you maybe want to get some get some dinner now?” He was relieved when she agreed. He wanted time to properly talk to Cash and explain everything, but not with Hvitserk around. “Just give me a second and I will be ready.”

Cash watched him walk out of the room, noticing him limping on crutches, but she still found herself giggling like a schoolgirl. 

So this was Ivar? 

He was real and she was happy.

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