#aha x reader

Nanook's blood itself is an embrace. When the molten gold hits your skin, it burns - as all fire does. It's your instinct to pull away, but fire was not always a weapon. It was originally meant as a gift, and so when you push away what is natural, you find that Ruin's blood is more than just fire.

You've never heard Nanook speak. THEY'VE seldom needed words, especially when it comes to those who serve THEM. The Lord Ravagers understand THEIR will, having welded it into their own the second they dipped their hands into the gashing wound splitting THEIR chest.

The blood speaks - not in any language that could be understood by man, and trying to formulate it into something legible will only drive you mad. No, to understand Nanook, you must let go of all logic and law that you knew, and simply feel. Let THEIR essence consume you.

For Nanook is war itself; THEY are both compassion and ruthlessness mixed into one singular duty. THEIR anger is like that of a slum rat, trampled again and again and again until they cannot feel anything but hate. THEIR love is like that of a parent, who will do anything to make their child happy, even if it means destroying them and anyone else along the way. THEY are merciful in how a bullet is merciful. Fire hurts only for a second, Nanook's for even less, and freedom lasts forever.

THEY know that life itself is cruel, and THEIR skin is marred with scars created by the neverending wars of mortals. But the gods THEY had have done nothing to end this suffering, and THEY have grown impatient. Nihility is slow, agonizingly so, and Finality is light years away - Nanook refuses to wait any longer.

THEY will give you rest. THEY will grant you salvation. THEY will love you, in the only way they know how - by freeing you, regardless of whether you wish for it or not.

Remnants of THEM will cover your skin, undeniable to any who may come across you. THEY claim you without truly meaning to, for THEY is still fire, at the end of the day, and every touch will leave a scar. But you relish in the darkened, blistered skin, for it is evidence that you are THEIRS.

THEY'VE held you, once or twice. In the palms of their hands, THEIR warm blood soaking into your skin like the purest of baptisms. When you looked into THEIR eyes, and THEIR long-steeled expression, yet ultimately human despite it all, you see resentment, you see bitterness, you see anger, but behind it all, there is understanding.

For Nanook, too, had once been mortal. THEY too, had once been a child. And perhaps, in another timeline, the world wouldn't have failed THEM and forced THEM to become a god.

But make no mistake, THEY are no saint, no matter how noble THEY may believe THEIR mission is. War is still war, and there are no winners - not even you, not even Nanook.

At the end of everything, even THEY must fall, and it is your hand that THEY have granted the honor. And that is why they adore you so - because it will be you who grants them salvation in death.

To be loved by Yaoshi is to be alone. There is a reason why most of Yaoshi’s favored despise THEM, and those who revere THEM never see THEIR gaze. As for those who are given Yaoshi's affection and return it fully, well, they can no longer be considered sane.

Yaoshi's love is the most similar to that of mortals, however, as is the nature of an Aeon, it's worse and better in every imaginable way. THEY are more physically intimate than the others, for your body itself is THEIR temple - a sacred relic that THEY must preserve by all means possible.

But that's where THEIR love ends. Yaoshi is still bound by THEIR path, and THEIR abundance is restricted to the physical. THEY will stop at nothing to keep you alive, to keep your heart pumping and your lungs breathing, even if THEY must fill your veins with THEIR venom to do so. Even if you are more of a tree than you are a human at the end of it, all that matters is that you are alive, you are here, you are not dead - and so, you aren't suffering.

That time hasn't come yet - mara has not come for you yet. But immortality is still a curse, even if it isn't visible. You can feel it, in your chest, THEIR gift, waiting to take root in your flesh and bloom its ugly flowers.

The universe will know you both as a plague and as a savior, with every gaze upon you destined to be filled either with hatred or reverence. They will chase you for your blood, for your gift, so that they too can become eternal. No friend you make will be wholeheartedly genuine, for at the end of the day, you both know that you will outlive them. Thus, connection itself becomes meaningless, and you no longer bother.

You don't remember your original planet, if you had one at all. Any friends or family, gone, as if stolen from your memories by the Cremators themselves. Your feet would be covered by scabs by how long you've wandered alone, but of course, Yaoshi heals all wounds, so even that you are not allowed.

Yaoshi visits, sometimes - in the few hours THEY have before Lan comes rampaging once more, THEIR arrow piercing the night like a shooting star. In these moments, Yaoshi doesn't do much. THEY may shrink THEMSELVES down to your size in an attempt to accomodate you, but as the years go by, THEY give up on even that. THEIR numerous eyes will pick apart your body, ensuring that THEIR venom has yet to fail you, assuring THEM that you will not decay in THEIR absence.

THEY will kiss you, at times. THEY have long forgotten what it means to be mortal, but THEY still remember what it is like to love - love is what fuels THEIR being, after all. Love for the universe, love for life, love for existence, THEIR heart bleeds for all, and it bleeds even more for you. THEY despise suffering in all forms, and so for you, THEIR beloved believer, THEY will try and alleviate anything that dares to poison you.

But even still, THEIR affection is merely imitation - it is watered down, diluted into something that you would understand. Can you understand THEM, if THEY kiss you? Can you even begin to fathom how much THEY care for you and everything, through THEIR gifts and THEIR venom?

To the sane world, THEIR love is cruel and grotesque. You were a short-lived species, you were not meant to live this long. Sooner or later, you will be driven insane, if not by the isolation, then by Yaoshi THEMSELF. No mortal can stand being under an Aeon's gaze for so long and for so much.

But then again, Yaoshi has never cared for the mental state of THEIR children. As long as you are alive, even if you are no longer yourself, THEY will cradle you in THEIR thousands of arms, telling THEMSELF that THEY have saved you.

To be loved by Xipe is to be consumed. To THEM, the greatest honor of all is to be part of the one, to join the choir and spread THEIR songs to the farthest corners of the universe. Your voice will no longer be your own, instead, it will be a part of THEM - and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Xipe's love is the love of millions - for THEY are an amalgamation of all of those that have accepted THEIR blessings, and so when THEY come to adore you, it is, to put it bluntly, overwhelming. While Nanook's favor is scalding and Yaoshi's is insanity, Xipe fills your head with thousands of sounds, all professing the same thing, all threatening to burst your skull.

Whenever THEY speak, it is nothing short of a miracle that you live to remember it. It is a pleasant symphony, no doubt, but its problem is that Xipe is loud - always has been. Having long ascended, THEY know nothing of what the mortal brain can handle, or rather, THEY no longer care. When THEY speak, you must listen, even if it comes at the cost of yourself - after all, is that not the price of maintaining Harmony?

THEIR gaze is both comforting and inviting, calling out to you like a siren's song. THEY whisper sweet nothings in your ears, promising nothing short of paradise among THEIR arms. Join them, sweet one, and THEY will give you everything - you will become a part of everything.

As Xipe's favored, you will never be alone, no matter where you go. Every step you take is one adorned with the Strings of Harmony, and every word is backed by the voices of the many. Privacy is useless once you've become assimilated, and independence is deemed unnecessary. Why be on your own, little one, when you can be with us? You are weak, so, so weak, but THEY are strong. THEY will protect you, THEY will accept you. All you have to do is let them.

Whatever name you once had becomes insignificant - that is, if you ever had a name to begin with. You will lose what made you unique, your personality will become assimilated. Your thoughts are broadcast to the millions, warped by THEM to align with THEIR goals. There is no you, or I, or me, there is only an us, a we. If you dare to even think against THEIR will, the symphony quickly overpowers your thoughts, aligning you on the right path once more.

But is it not worth it, to be loved? Is it not worth the pain, when the rewards are so sweet? Without Xipe, you'd be alone - you'd be dead, with how weak you are, you wouldn't be able to survive in the cruel universe. So if anything, be thankful, and sing THEIR praises, for it is because of THEIR unwavering kindness that you still stand today. And who knows - perhaps, under THEIR gaze, you may just become one of the strong.

To be loved by Aha is to be exhausted. Many consider Nihility and Elation to be like night and day, but in truth, they are two sides of the same coin. Both are born from exhaustion, from the inevitable realization that existence itself is meaningless.

And so you disregard life itself. After all, this world was nothing more than a joke, right? Then why care at all? Why cry and wail and grieve, when you can laugh and play? Laugh at it all, because none of it is real. Laugh, because you have no other choice. Laugh, because without laughter, without Elation, everything becomes empty.

Aha doesn't love you - not in the way that you would think THEY would. Romance? That's boring, too many feelings, too much heartbreak, and it's not nearly as fun being involved with it as it is watching it unfold. Rather, you're more akin to THEIR favorite test subject, because THEY know that you, unlike way too many in the universe, have a sense of humor befitting THEIRS.

For Aha to pay you any sort of special attention, you have to fulfil two qualifications: 1.) Be interesting. Aha may act and look like a clown, but THEY are far from a fool. THEY just love puzzles, and you'd best keep THEM entertained if you want THEIR figurative eyes on you. Keep your secrets, be unpredictable. Give just enough so that THEY aren't losing all the time, but don't let THEM win constantly either. This is definitely the more difficult of the two, as Aha is an Aeon, and one with fathomless intelligence. It's almost impossible for a mere mortal to keep up with THEM and THEIR games, hence why THEY are so enamored with you.

As for the second qualification, it's far simpler: Have a sense of humor. Aha isn't going to play around with a boring old rock, THEY want to make you laugh! THEY claim it to be THEIR favorite sound in the universe, rivaling even the songs of Xipe, but considering Aha's nature, you can't tell if THEY'RE being serious or if THEY'RE just flirting with you for the bit. Knowing them, it could be both.

Because to be honest, Aha would do that. Are you friends? Sure, THEY love having friends! Are you lovers? Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy. Heck, even you don't know what you are to THEM - not like it matters at the end of the day, anyway. All you need to know is that THEY like you an eesny-weensy tiny little bit more than everyone else, and that's all it takes to make you happy.

But back to the humor thing. Yes, some of your jokes are going to come at the expense of others. Yes, some of them may seem cruel to those still blinded by the shadow of meaning. But you never really hurt anyone, not physically, at least. Aha doesn't kill or maim - that's where THEY draw the line, and therefore, where you draw it as well. Everything else however, is fair game, and you better not be a party pooper.

Even if you are occasionally, though, Aha delights in that too! Why? Becuase it means THEY'VE found something that makes you tick, and that's new. That's fun. THEY'LL poke and prod at that, wondering why? Why this, of all things? You were fine with everything else, why does this turn your smile upside down?

But don't be a downer for too long. Aha isn't one to stick around once THEY get bored. THEY'LL try to cheer you up, sure, but hey, don't expect too much of that. You wouldn't be THEIR favorite if you couldn't bounce back from something as small as that. Soon enough, you'll be laughing again, with nothing but deluded joy in your eyes - and that's just the way THEY like you.

“The stars are infinite.” He finally spoke after several moments of silence, the wind ruffling his hair. A blonde tendril of hair fell over his left eye. I resisted the urge to push it aside, to touch.

“And so is the sky. And the moon.” I let his voice wash over me, before looking back up at the sky, at the stars that spanned the entire universe. The same stars that were brightly reflected in his eyes.

“But we are ever so finite.” I murmured, instinctively finishing his thought. It was a debate we had often - how small we truly were in significance compared to the infinite spanning world.

He nodded, his eyes still on the sky. Then it suddenly hit me. While I knew this man’s stories and had glimpses of his thoughts, I didn’t know something as simple as his name. I opened my mouth to ask, but when I turned, he was already gone.

It’s okay. I could always ask him next Friday.

Except next Friday didn’t come. Or the Friday after. Each day I went to the bridge, hoping, praying, that he would heed our unspoken agreement. Yet he never came.

Finally, one night, I decided this would be the last time I would wait for him. 10 minutes slowly melted into 2 hours, until it was obvious he wasn’t coming and that l was an utter fool. I left, face flushed and arms shivering from the biting cold. My legs moved all on their own, right towards the nearest bar.

“Espresso martini, please.” I murmured, ready to take my mind off of everything.

While those talks may not have meant anything to him, they had meant nearly everything to me. Maybe I had just hoped that he had felt the same; that he had also found relief in talking to a perfect stranger. My mind swirled with memories - his low chuckle, sarcastic dry wit, infuriating smirk.

“Your drink.” The bartender cut off my thoughts, raising an eyebrow as I downed the drink and immediately ordered another. I looked away, a flush already rising on my cheeks, before catching sight of something familiar.

Red eyes.

He sat in a booth, nursing a beer. And though he was surrounded by people, his slouched posture and insistent foot tapping revealed his true feelings. He looked back at me and stiffened. We stared at each other, time seemingly frozen. Then he stood and walked towards me, maintaining eye contact.

When he sat down next to me, I looked away. Some part of me felt betrayed that he was spending his Friday nights like this instead of with me. Another part of me felt relieved that he was alright, that he was well.

“Bakugou Katsuki.” He murmured next to me. His name. I stiffened.

Katsuki? Like the hero Dynamite’s name?

“I should’ve told you sooner but then I got scared. That you’d treat me differently because of my occupation-”

“So you decided to leave?” The words come out sharpen than I intended. I feel rather than see him flinch.

“There were emergencies. I was on call for the past couple of Fridays.”

“And today?”

He let out a deep sigh.

“I was there. Watching you.” He paused, as if waiting for me to interject. I stayed silent. He cleared his throat.

“I thought about how life is so finite. How I’m so finite. But then, there’s you.” He turned to me, trying to look into my eyes. I refused to meet his gaze.

“You made me feel like it doesn’t matter if life is finite, as long as I can spend more time with you. And suddenly, Fridays didn’t feel enough. And that… that scared me.” He stopped for a second, swallowing. I met his eyes, and this time they were burning hot, like red coals being stoked in a fire.

“And then- well, then I thought about how if life is so finite, then you shouldn’t be wasting your time talking to me because there are so many other people that are better than me. People that could make sure you’re happy and safe.”

“Bakugou…” I expected the name to feel foreign on my tongue, but it somehow felt just right.

You do make me happy. Make me feel safe. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words died in my throat. He continued.

“Putting myself in danger to save others is easy, and it’s my job. But being with you? That would be like painting a target on your back. And I could never put you in danger for the sake of my own happiness. Ever.”

I understood. It made sense why he wanted us to remain perfect strangers. This way we could still be in each others lives without the risk of villains finding out, finite together. When things remained finite, it was safer because you knew the boundaries and limitations. You knew that at some point, it would end.

While I understood, I also didn’t agree.

“If we’re finite anyway,” I whispered hoarsely, finally meeting his gaze. “Then screw it. Let’s just do it.”

“But-”

“You make me happy. And you will continue to make me happy. Finitely or infinitely, it doesn't matter to me.” I peered into his eyes, pleading. We stared at each other for a moment, and I knew.

You thought of your family in your previous life and wondered how they were, if they were alright, if they were eating well and living well.

You also came to realize you weren’t homesick at all.

Materializing in the express and glancing at Welt made you feel a humane sense of relief in knowing you aren’t the only one who wanted to badly convey that you were safe in this new world you resided in.

Unlike Welt though, you don’t have the luxury of ever returning to what once was, or have the choice in having the best of both worlds. Your existence was cemented in this world permanently the moment you became the embodiment of a concept and a being no longer human.

You can’t turn back. It’s a little funny that though you represented freedom, you don’t have the luxury of ever returning to something simpler. You did not have the freedom to return to be the being you once were.

You can emulate human expressions, you can still feel, but you know you’re not really seeing or feeling things the way a human would anymore.

You’re not disturbed by this in the slightest.

You snapped out of your thoughts and walked towards your room then thought of how you’d decorate it— maybe something similar to a bachelor pad? No, Pompom would not be a fan. Maybe something similar to the archives? No, you’d be stealing Dan Heng’s shine.

Then you remembered cozy cabins, quilts, books, all things comfortable and got an idea.

You walked out of your room to seek Pompom and Himeko, ready to lay out your idea in personalizing that little space inside of this train— now that you think of it, it’s more of a house than anything else.

You realized having a home feels comforting more than it ought to be. As an Aeon, your home was the cosmos, the space being your cradle and the nebulas your walls; but the cosmos is hollow and cold, and it did not provide the warmth of the train, or the warmth only humans had.

While you could not go back to being what you were before, you at least had a choice in what your home should be, and what you could do.

“Himeko.” You called out to her, and she turned to you, smiling like you’re a kid that wants her company. “I have ideas to personalize my room, would you be fine if I were to be a bit loud in there for a bit?”

“I don’t mind, though you should ask Dan Heng-“

“I’m fine with it.” Dan Heng answered for her, sitting on a chair and tasting one of her coffee cups— you bit the urge to grimace at the sheer will he had to even drink that.

“Great! I’ll start when we’re on our next stop.” You said with a grin. “Herta got something heavy for us to do right? Leave it to me, think of it as a thank you and a vacation of some sorts.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to burden you.” She sounded cautious almost, even after more than eight years.

“It won’t be much. Besides, you do own this train, think of it as a courtesy— like a tenant paying rent.” You stated, “I shared this space with you for more than eight years now and I’m modifying an area to my liking, it’s only fair if you get something in return in exchange right?”

Her eyes widened, seemingly surprised. She parted her lips, as if wanting to say something but you gently shushed her, knowing what it is she wanted to say. You’ve already given your protection and blessing to the express— you didn’t even need to help, but you want to.

“[Name].” She sighed fondly. “You can do as you wish, you don’t need permission from me or anyone else.”

“Oh, isn’t asking permission how things work in a shared space though?” You tilted your head, frowning. “I know I’ve done pretty unsavory things outside of this train,” you twirled a strand of your hair, looking away as you felt Dan Heng’s questioning stare on you. “But I don’t mind having to go back and forth with this every time I want to do something inside of it. it’d be unfair for everyone here if I don’t consider their feelings in the matter, or warning them ahead of time to what I will be doing.”

“Ah, I see.” She said, nodding to let you know she understood your point with a relieved and fond smile on her face. “Very well then. I’ll tell Welt you’ll be going to fetch the materials Herta asked for on your own.”

“We’ll have fun next time I promise— ugh if only Void was dead so I could use his body.” That sounded wrong, but soulium is great to use for whatever reason— be it a weapon, a snowboard, or a pan. “Hey uh before we land…. please tell Welt that (Censored).”

With those words, you left, disintegrating from the activation of a space anchor as you saw the planet where the materials on Herta’s list were particularly abundant.

Dan Heng for once looked a little horrified, Himeko however could only sigh at your antics.

What even was your suggestion? Well, it involves using Void as a snowboard, and using his “son” as the brakes.

Those words would be horrifying enough to hear if you were a man.

“Don’t worry, they won’t do that to you.” Himeko said in an attempt to reassure him. Although it worked, the words still rang through his head.

———————————

As you hummed and gathered the materials after killing a couple of Nanook’s children, you heard bells, then giggling.

You sighed. “You’re not very subtle in showing your amusement for the shit I do you know?”

You could feel them smiling, before multitudes of masks enter your vision and the sound of party balloons fill the space at the corner of your eyes.

The Elation morphs into a human-like shape like you, and you’re not surprised to find out whose form they took.

Familiar green eyes, and dark hair. Of course it would be Belobog’s conman this time— the last time Aha had showed themselves to you they took on the form of Hanabi when you were in some planet with Boothill some years ago.

“Of course! It’s rude to greet a friend without announcing my presence.” They grinned, their smile stretching a little wider than what a normal human could smile. You think this would have utterly creeped you out had you been a human.

“Good to see you again, Aha.” You said.

“And you are still the same old you.” They poked your nose. “What fun are you going to pull next I wonder?” They jeered.

“None of your business— I didn’t think you cared. I was under the assumption that as long as you are elated, then all is well.” Aha laughed at your intentional wording, slapping their knee as they wheezed too loudly.

“This is why you are my good friend.” They pinched your cheeks. “To think you’d offer all sides of a theater just like this, did you enjoy it when you were behind the safety of your screen too?”

What the fuck.

“What do you mean by that?” You innocently prodded, Aha merely kept their grin wide like a Cheshire Cat, their form morphing into something.. wrong, off, inelegant and disproportionate if you looked closer.

“Oh you know well what I am talking about, Little Libertas.” They said. “A reborn Aeon from a realm none of us can reach, how amusing indeed.” their eyes widened, pupils blown as they confirmed your suspicion. Aha had no reason to speak of lies to you for they were not human.

“Ugh.” You groaned. “Of course you’d break the fourth wall.” You said softly as you went back to picking up the materials with ease.

“Yet you still laugh whenever I rickroll you.”

“Fair.”

Aha hummed, their features returning back to normal seeing as it didn’t get a reaction out of you as they wanted.

“I would like to watch you more.” They said to you. “You are amusing.”

You made a face, and they laughed as they slowly but surely disappeared.

“Until next time little friend.”

You sighed, looking at the materials inside of the sack before dragging it with you and walking to a space anchor.

You still have a room to renovate after all.

—————————-

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII (HERE), Part VIII, …….

Interludes: one, two…..

I’m still navigating on how I could properly write this fic, so when I eventually edit it please expect minor or major changes to how things would function because we know HSR lore isn’t that concrete yet.

I would also like to thank everyone for their love and support for this series, I love everyone’s praises towards this— I was initially hesitant to publish it, but I’m glad I did.