#squsbands

"But it's love, Rich! She is dedicated, she's giving up her voice for the prince!" Christine grinned at him from where she sat, perched on the back of the seat rather than in the seat itself, still going over her lines.

"Yeah, but at the very least she could've like, learned sign language or something - or fucking written stuff down ? She knows how to write. She could've written what she wanted to say, she's a dumbass." He flipped the page, eyebrows furrowed.

Jake leaned back in his seat, snorting. "Crushes are dumb anyways."

"Says the guy with a crush on Dustin Kropp," Jenna piped up as she idly flipped through her script, smirking. Christine glanced over at Jake with wide eyes, giggling.

"Oh, shit, Jenna's revealing all sorts of good stuff today. Anything else to report, Jen-Jen?" She leaned forward eagerly, half-focused on the script, half-focused on Jenna. Her knee was bouncing as she turned the page of her script, going over the lines under her breath, head cocked to listen to Jenna.

They all knew that Jenna and Christine were hardcore pining for each other.

"Brooke and Chloe were making out in the girl's bathroom during lunch today. If you were wondering where they were. I had the brilliant luck to walk in as they were doing it." Jenna looked up at Rich and Jake, raising her eyebrows. "Wonder how much longer they're gonna last."

"Knowing Chloe, not long." Jake shut his script, leaning forward again, obviously done with trying to be productive - normal for him. "Although, it is Brooke."

"That's true." Rich flipped the pages of his script back and forth, gaze flicking over the words, but his mind not registering them. "It is Brooke. Chloe's head over heels for her, I'm sure they'll last for a good long while."

He was confident in his words - Brooke had loved Chloe for years, and Chloe had just started to return the sentiment. The two were incredibly happy and seemed to have everything they wanted. They planned to move up to Boston, get an apartment and two cats. They had everything planned out. They'd already started looking for places to move to. In the meantime, Chloe was staying at the Lohst household (well, the Lohst-Goranski household at this point - Rich lived there too, Ms. Lohst knew his dad was shitty and had taken him in almost immediately. She was a goddamn angel in Rich's eyes). They all knew Chloe's parents wouldn't approve of the relationship.

Rich loved Brooke like a little sister, and so naturally he had to threaten Chloe. If she hurt Brooke, Rich would be hunting her down and beating the shit out of her. Of course, he knew Chloe would never try to hurt Brooke on purpose, and that thought calmed him a little. Nobody in the Lohst house would actively try to hurt anybody. It had not been that way in his old house. He was relieved to be out of that shithole. He was loved in the Lohst house. They cared about him - all of his friends actually cared about him. It was nice. It was really, really, really nice.

Rich snapped back to attention at a hand waving in his face, and he snapped at it. Christine jerked her hand back, rolling her eyes. "We were talking to you, dumbass."

He shook his head, blinking away his previous daze. He got lost in his thoughts like that far too often for his liking. "Sorry, sorry. What were you saying?"

"We wanna know who you, " Christine jabbed him in the chest, and he yelped, "have a crush on."

Rich rolled his eyes. "Chris, I don't have a crush on anybody. We've been over this. Several times."

"Liar." Jake didn't even look up, he was flipping through his script again. Rich shot a glare his way.

"You're the one lying," He retorted, rolling his eyes.

As he spoke, his eyes flicked up as Jeremy and Michael walked into the theater, talking. He found himself staring for much too long as Jeremy laughed at something Michael had said. The boy buried his face in his hand, shoulders shaking, eyes bright. Upon realizing that he was, in fact, staring, Rich jerked his gaze away, knowing that he'd probably gone red. He felt like his heart was crawling up his throat as Jeremy and Michael walked over, and he gripped the hem of his tank top with his hands.

Shit, he didn't have a crush on Jeremy, did he? It wouldn't be a bad thing if he did, he just… didn't think he had any crushes at the moment. Shit, maybe he was wrong. He coughed into his hand, the coughs harsh and grating against his throat. He was surprised that it hurt so much. Maybe he was just getting sick, who knew?

He looked down at his hand, his heart stopping at the three smooth, white petals that rested in his palm. He swallowed nervously, tongue darting around his mouth, running over his teeth as if searching for other petals that might've gotten stuck in his mouth. Upon finding none, he hastily shoved the petals into his pocket, trying to pretend that nothing had happened. He was fine, he was sure of it. People had probably randomly coughed up flowers before. He'd eaten flowers on a dare before. He'd done it the other day because Michael had bet him ten dollars he wouldn't do it. They made plenty of bets like that.

Well, Rich "Is That A Goddamn Challenge" Goranski went home with ten dollars that day (and Brooke "My Brother Is A Trainwreck" Lohst judged him for eating those flowers).

He was snapped out of his confused haze by a voice. "Rich? You okay over there? You look like you're gonna get sick." Michael furrowed his eyebrows in concern as Rich hesitated with his response.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He flashed a smile, hoping it was reassuring. I already am sick.

He pushed that thought away.

His confidence practically vanished as Christine spoke up. "Hey, Michael, we're talking about crushes. We want the dirt, who are you into?"

Rich found himself getting nauseous at the mere thought of crushes, and looking at Jeremy just made his head spin. His heart was pounding, the sound in his ears getting louder, and louder, and louder, and eventually it was too much as Jeremy began to answer the question. Rich didn't want to hear it - he didn't, he didn't, he didn't. He kept himself calm on his exterior, but inside he was a disaster. His thoughts were swirling and buzzing, raging like a thunderstorm, panicked and tangled and mixed up. He tried to keep himself steady, not wanting to cause a scene or something.

So. He liked Jeremy. That was a fact. Did he like Jeremy as more than a friend? He still wasn't sure.

At least, he wasn't sure until he looked up at Jeremy again, who was grinning, face flushed red from embarrassment as Michael droned on about something - probably something stupid, not that Rich cared. And Rich felt himself getting lost in those blue-gray eyes, and he cursed himself inwardly. Oh god , he was so fucked, he was so fucked. He was a gay mess right now, that's what he was. He forced himself to look down at the script in his hands. Hoping for a distraction, he tried to focus on the words, focus on something before he got lost in his thoughts (and Jeremy) again. Anything to get his mind off of Jeremy and his budding crush.

"Rich, dude, are you sure you're okay?" It was Jake this time, and the conversation had come to a halt as everyone noticed how strange he was acting.

Rich forced a smile. "Been… sitting for too long. Gettin' kinda restless. I might take a walk to the costume closet and chill for a bit." That was a believable lie, right? And maybe he could find out if Jeremy currently had any crushes or not.

"Sounds good, dude." Jeremy tilted his head. "Want someone to come with you?" He ignored how his heart pounded when Jeremy spoke, at how his hair flopped down over his eyes when he tilted his head like that.

His gaze flicked over the group, and his eyes landed on Jenna. He grinned. "I'll take the Jen-meister with me. If she wants to come, that is."

The girl looked slightly taken aback but shrugged. "Sure, why not. Y'all are wearing out the conversation. We get it, Jake has a crush on Ed Sheeran."

Christine giggled, rolling her eyes (she was so into Jenna). Jake just groaned, burying his face in his hands. "You're all terrible people. I make a joke one time, one fucking time. "

"Say that to the Ed Sheeran poster in your closet. I have pictures." Rich laughed, getting to his feet. "Alright. C'mon, Jen. Racks of shittily organized costumes await."

Jenna stood up as well, leaving her script behind as the two wandered in the direction of the costume closet. Jenna was the first to speak on the way there, although Rich barely heard what she said, and just hummed in response.

"Rich, dude, that's not an answer. Why the hell did you ask me to come along?"

They entered the costume closet, and Rich began to sift through costumes, busying his hands - a distraction, something to keep him occupied so he could keep it together. "Uh, I - what do you know about Jeremy? Like, relationship wise? Who he dated, all that stuff. If he - uh, likes anybody now?"

Jenna looked offended, scowling. "What, you brought me along just to get information out of me? That's shitty, Rich. Just ask him yourself."

Rich felt his chest tighten at the mere thought. "No, no, I'm sorry. It was pretty shitty of me, Jen, but - but it's important. It's really fucking important." He coughed twice into his hand, shoving the slick white petals in his pocket again.

Jenna looked at him with a strange expression for a moment - bordering on concern, curiosity, and nervousness all at once. "Uh - okay." Her face twisted back into a scowl, and she started listing information. "He dated Brooke for two months, Christine for five, and he briefly dated Michael for three weeks. Happy?"

Rich felt his heart race. He liked guys. Thank fuck, he was into guys, praise the goddamn lord he was into guys. "Almost. Is he dating anybody now? Have any crushes?"

Jenna shook her head, and Rich felt almost relieved for a few moments. He could actually do it. He had a slight chance. "Thank you so much, Jen. This - this is really helpful."

She frowned, studying him for a moment. "If you don't mind my asking, why do you care about this?"

Rich hesitated, debating on whether or not he should tell the truth. He opted not to. "Uh. Not really a specific reason. Just… curious."

The girl raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing him. "You're a shit liar, Richard."

Rich forced a smile at his full name, gritting his teeth. "I'm not lying, Jen. I'm just curious."

He didn't like this. He had a crush, yes, and he was okay with that - but something felt off. Something about how tight his chest felt, something about how he could hear the tiniest hint of a wheeze in between each breath he took, something about the coughing and the flowers - it all rubbed him the wrong way, something was just… wrong. And he couldn't figure out what, he couldn't put it together - it was frustrating him.