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@basicbascinet

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Stop calling the witch-queen "cunty". She has an undead army from the depths of hell.
Our kind and generous royal princess had to hire an image consultant because you all can't just lock the fuck in. You are a disgrace to our banners.
Stop calling the witch-queen "cunty". She has an undead army from the depths of hell.
Alright guys, we are ready to rehome this knight we rescued.
This fellow may seem broody at first, but that's only because they're a bit shy. Give them some time and you'll see they can be very social and affectionate. They get along great with other knights. We haven't had the opportunity to test how well they do with jesters, wizards and advisors, but we think they'd do fine with the right introductions. Their favorite activities are jousts and harp-playing. We are sending him home with their favorite horse and pole axe as endowments.
We are looking for responsible lieges with spacious, safe castles, so if you fit the bill, leave us a message. As per our standards, they've already been fully vaccinated and dewormed.
Do you think they'd be a good fit for a first time liege lord? Our mother had knights growing up but now We're out on Our own, We'd love to rescue a knight in need of a forever home!
Well, we don't think this knight would be much of a challenge, even for inexperienced lords. It certainly helps to have grown up with knights, but it's always important to remember that now you will be the one receiving the oath of fealty and vassalage. It's another level of responsibility! You will be the one paying for their equipment and food, issuing missions and receiving wistful looks of pure devotion. But as long as you fulfill the prerequisites, we will analyze your application and let you know if you are a good fit!
Do not, I said, do NOT threaten the squire to get a rise out of their knight. I don't care how tempting it is, this will NOT end in your favor. YES, you doofus, even if the squire is trembling and scared, in fact, ESPECIALLY if they do that. Get your issues sorted out with a therapist. I'm telling y--
Aaaaand now you are a bloody pulp. I told you. God damn idiot.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Alright guys, we are ready to rehome this knight we rescued.
This fellow may seem broody at first, but that's only because they're a bit shy. Give them some time and you'll see they can be very social and affectionate. They get along great with other knights. We haven't had the opportunity to test how well they do with jesters, wizards and advisors, but we think they'd do fine with the right introductions. Their favorite activities are jousts and harp-playing. We are sending him home with their favorite horse and pole axe as endowments.
We are looking for responsible lieges with spacious, safe castles, so if you fit the bill, leave us a message. As per our standards, they've already been fully vaccinated and dewormed.
Adopt don't shop!!
i know battleworn knights get a bad rep as they often come with trauma and can be unpredictable or sometimes (very rarely) dangerous if you aren't careful. but if you take the time to be kind and meet them where they are they become the best vassals, experienced in combat and fiercely protective. I've never had a more loyal and affectionate knight than my knight I adopted from the kingdom's battalion.
Every year, hundreds of knights unwittingly acquire cursed swords. Most lieges do not notice until it's too late.
Symptoms of cursed sword possession include:
- Uncharacteristic bloodthirst.
- Mood swings.
- Whispering to the sword when they think you aren't looking.
- A tendency to stand in gloomy corners.
- Skin rashes.
If you suspect your knight has a cursed sword, take them to the local mystic or priest as soon as possible. Immediate action saves lives.
WARNING: Do not try to remove the sword yourself unless you are a certified professional. Cursed swords are known to cause their hosts to lash out unless the proper precautions are taken. Your knight may accidentally injure you and spiral out of guilt.
Knights and wizards can absolutely get along, but you must ensure they have enough space. The knight needs to exercise and make noise, while the wizard needs a safe place to retreat to and obsess over artifacts. Introducing them through a baby gate so they can smell each other is ideal.
Always vaccinate and microchip your knights before sending them out to quests. You never know where they will end up.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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5 more minutes milord
Knight who gets zoomies and you need to tire him out with some time in the training yard with the other knights
If you find a stray squire, try to observe them for a time before bringing them to a shelter. Sometimes the knight is still around but left the squire hidden for a moment to hunt dragons or undergo a trial. A squire's best chance to thrive is to be adopted with their knight, unless said knight turns out to be feral.
Step aside, ma'am. We are Knight Protective Services. Yes, we do have a warrant. Let's see, insufficient courtyard space. No squire to be seen. When was the last time this knight has gone on a quest? Oh, good Lord, look at this, George. Rusty armor and no rondel for close combat. Just sad. Do you think a knight is a toy, lady? Yeah, we'll be taking them with us. You can appeal the decision, but don't get your hopes up. See you in court, then. Not that court.