#sprirtuality

by the lovely @klarinda-klabisom 🥰

                                          ● || Receiving || ●

●|| When you seek to learn about your ancestors, you open up your mind and soul to their wisdom. ||●

•Photographer/Costume Designer: @divine_creativity •Model: @freejie11 •MUA: @msvivianashley •Styling: @_romeiro_ & @divine_creativity  

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So, I’ve been thinking a lot about Faith tonight and what it means to live a life of Faith or live in Faith or whatever “Faith” inspired one liner your church uses most often:

Jack mentioned in his teaching on Martin Luther (the German guy, not the one who had a dream) that what I always believed about Faith and the Kingdom and how the Kingdom is inherited isn’t exactly true. He said, “God IS pleased by performance, no doubt about it. But he is pleased by the performance of his son, not yours. No doubt, you ARE saved by works; but you’re not saved by YOUR works. You are saved by the works of Christ.” This resonated with me. Constantly, time and time again, I have found that the lies that the Enemy uses to enslave me to his will are ones that are wrapped in just enough truth for me to fall for it. If he were to come at me with something that is completely untrue, I would simply laugh it off. No. He needs my attention. He needs my trust. Without it he has no power. So, he doesn’t just lie; he entices. He distracts. He seems productive when he is actually just being destructive. So, instead of hearing that Christ took care of the works I couldn’t accomplish, I either got stuck in, “God doesn’t care about works” or “you’re not good enough and you’re too much of a failure and you’re out.” Yikes. Both are lies, but both have a smidge of truth in them. When you are in Christ, it’s not so much that God doesn’t CARE about works, it’s just that works aren’t necessary for salvation. Furthermore, my works will never outweigh the sins that I have already committed. I can’t work passed all of that to the point that it is an acceptable ticket to relationship with God. Rather, Christ’s works do that for me.

So, with all of this bouncing around in my head, I started thinking about Faith. I started thinking about how if I could just ignore something long enough or not pay it attention for enough time, then THAT will be when I will realize that I have Faith in God. Then and only then am I trusting that God is on his throne. This can NOT be farther from the Truth. Faith isn’t the product of ignorance or indifference. One more time: FAITH IS NOT THE PRODUCT OF IGNORANCE OR INDIFFERENCE! True Faith can only be carried out when a person is aware of a situation or a problem (perhaps not every facet of the problem, but a general awareness of its existence) and that person doesn’t allow the existence of the problem to take anything away from the Person or the Goodness of God. A person I love lives in almost constant danger through no fault or choice of her own. But somehow, God is still good. I don’t understand why someone I love won’t stop falling into addiction, but God is still sovereign. Innocent people are murdered and diseases spread and there is a virus of hatred running rampant in our world, but GOD IS STILL WORTHY OF OUR PRAISE. There is a beautiful quote by an amazing woman of God named Elisabeth Elliot which says, "Faith's most severe tests come not when we see nothing, but when we see a stunning array of evidence that seems to prove our faith vain."

But how are we supposed to do this? How do I, a person who already feels things WAY too deeply, carry all of this around? How do I open my eyes to the darkness of the world without it crushing me? I mean, I could barely get through watching The Boy In The Striped Pajamas without curling up in a ball and sobbing for days. But that’s when Peace comes in. And that’s when I had my second epiphany of the night. The reason I try to surround my Faith with ignorance is because there is peace in ignorance. There is also peace in indifference. But here’s the catch, this peace does NOT surpass understanding. No one questions having peace when their eyes are closed to the world’s problems. This isn’t the Peace that was promised to us. We were promised a Peace that surpasses all understanding. We were offered Peace that sticks around when everything around you is falling apart. When a person is fully aware of their situation and staring right at it and still understands that if Job could make it, so can I. And that verse that talks about the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding starts the verse before saying “be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; (vs 7) and the Peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” People don’t pray for things of which they are ignorant. Furthermore, the last time I tried to pray for something about which I was indifferent, I got distracted about halfway through the prayer. BECAUSE I DIDN’T CARE! If I don’t care about people and their problems, then my prayer life is feeble and selfish. I’ve decided that I would rather feel too much than nothing at all. Like Jamie Tworkowski (the founder or To Write Love On Her Arms) wrote just a little over 10 years ago, “We won’t solve all life’s mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it’s the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we’re called home.” So, I will now intentionally live a life of Faith. When a problem arises, I won’t push it out of my mind. I won’t distract myself with my phone as a means of escape. I will go boldly into the throne room of God. I will pray for protection for the people I love and trust fully that God has it under control. And if events don’t unfold in a way that I see as good or righteous, I will trust that God sees the full picture. That His timing is perfect and He has a plan. Faith means not having answers, but trusting that He does. And that the creator of the universe knows the numbers of hairs on my head and He saw fit to clothe the flowers and feed the birds and He cares for me, too. And for you.

Sorry this was so long-winded, and I know that it was most likely something that is incredibly obvious to most people, but I needed a place to write all of this down to try to make sense of it.