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Right so
I’m Marie Kondōing my wardrobe atm (I literally did yell: does this spark joy a billion times) and realized how much I’ve changed and what stupid, and expensive shit I used to buy? I’m letting go of a nearly 500€ coat and it hurts my now adult bank account thinking about how teenage me used to spend money
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Greetings from Bed Eater! Have you started your Spring cleaning? I won't judge if you say no, but I will say this: Spring cleaning is an important way to ensure a breezy summer. It’s important to clean out your closet, your insides (check out my Broth Boat Cleanse and Yogurt Detox), and your phone contacts (bye bye 2016 ex-boyfriends). But please don’t forget to clean out your fridge! It’s your food’s holy place, and it deserves a spring cleaning as much as your colon does!
What I’m Eating: Springtime Casserole Surprise!
The best thing about this recipe is that it’s always a surprise what goes inside! It’s really important not to waste food, so combining whatever leftovers you have into a picture-perfect casserole is the best way to be kind to your fridge and to Mother Earth! Simply combine your unwanted food into a dish and cook on high until it bubbles over! Be sure to give things a good sniff before including them in the casserole. It’s a common misconception that eating old food is a great way to kickstart your cleanse. Any moldy or stinky foods can be combined into a separate dish and be used as a foot bath! The broken up food enzymes are a great way to kill any foot fungus or to mask stinky feet smells!Â
What I’m Wearing: My Spring Thrift Store Find
While I usually advocate for treating yourself (especially when it comes to loungewear), springtime thrifting is an exception. Since you're not the only one doing a little spring cleaning, finding adorable, used pajamas is a snap in the Spring! It’s yet another great way to help Mother Earth with her cleanse. Think about it: if you aren’t there to grab unwanted nighties from people’s trash cans, they’ll go straight to a landfill!
According To Ayurveda, Spring Is All About Detoxification
According To Ayurveda, Spring Is All About Detoxification
These doshic energies align with different seasons—summer holds the hot and fiery energy of pitta, winter embodies the cold and dry energy of vata, and kapha’s wet, heavy, earthy nature manifests in spring. According to Ayurveda, kapha season is all about clearing out the stagnant energy that has built up through the vata season and preparing our minds, bodies, and spirits for the rest of the…
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The spring-cleanse has concluded! Now that we have all been graced with purity, we must say our thanks to the ones who participated in last night's ceremony: The Johnson's, The Alvarado's, The Miller's, and the entirety of Shady Grove Retirement home! A rememberance memorial will be held at sunset in town square. Please feel free to stop by and say your thanks- not only because of their great sacrifice, but also because free snacks and drinks WILL be provided for the duration of the memorial!
In other news- if you're looking for a place to put the rapidly growing elderly population- several spots in the Shady Grove Retirement Home have opened up! Whether they hiss, bite, or scratch- we here at Iowa state ensure a safe and fun enclosure for all elderly.
In two hours we will be one day away from the spring cleanse! At midnight we must all partake in the pre-cleanse prayer! If you haven't already- please cover your mirrors, close your windows, and lock your doors! The nightly prayer broadcast will be playing on the local news station as per-tradition, but will continue into the dawn of Friday! During this intensive prayer time, no business shall be open, and all work duties will be called off- any one in violation of these guidelines will be dealt with immediately.
Enjoy your night everyone! And all glory to The Pristine.
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We here at Iowa state apologize for recent inactivity! The contained rainfall from the recent powerplant meltdown had caused far more damage than anticipated! But fear not- all issues regarding downed power lines, mutated service workers and of course spotty internet connections have (mostly) been resolved!
In other news, We here at Iowa state have been busy to ensure that every citizen within our control has the means to participate in the up-coming spring cleanse! Remember:
Cover your mirrors
Close your windows
Lock your doors
And if your household should be chosen by the Pristine- submit immediately. You have been gifted a great honor and your neighbors will forever be grateful for your sacrifices! All members of a household will participate, including:
Women
Men
Nonbinary folks
Children
Pets
Infants
Insects
Plants
The elderly the elderly the elderly the elderly the elderly the elderly
Any citizen caught avoiding civic duty will be dealt with promptly! The Spring cleanse happens this Friday! Should you have any remaining questions, we will be here to answer your questions promptly!
Spring Cleanses and Beyond
