#warframe 1999

Was it a cowardly move? Probably, but Amir didn’t care. He wasn’t in the right headspace. Besides who else would know besides him? He really didn’t want to deal with people, if he could help it.

Upon exiting to the roof, Amir took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. It was a lovely summer night out. Clear skies. Cool breeze.

Perfect for fireworks, Amir thought wistfully. It was close to the 4th of July, his folks were probably preparing for the big cookout they always had. He closed his eyes as a wave of homesickness washed over him. It’d probably be a good idea to call them in the morning, at least hear their voices and make sure they’re doing alright. Sol, he missed them.

Moving over to the little patio area they set up near the greenhouse, he plopped down on the couch with as much grace as a new born puppy. He slouched until he could lean his head back on the backrest, staring up at the stars. Closing his eyes, he tapped his fingers against his legs, counting in his head as he tried to focus on his breathing again.

When something cold and wet was placed against his forehead, he flailed so hard he almost slid off the couch.

“WHATTHEFUCK!?”

There was a rich, deep laughter above him, followed by the clank of bottles hitting each other. 

“Careful there, fam, or ya might hurt yaself,” said a familiar, cocky voice.

Upon straightening himself out, Amir turned and glared up at the chortling sniper.

“What do you want, Quincy?” Amir asked, really not in the mood. So much for relaxing, he thought as he wiped his forehead.

“Tch, is that anyway ta treat the man bringin’ you booze?” Quincy snorted, rounding the couch and holding out one of two beers for the techie.

Amir eyed the bottle like it was a trap. He glanced up at the other protoframe who just stared back, brow raised in question. A sigh escaped him before taking the beer with a small nod. 

“Thanks,” he said quietly, cracking it open.

“Anytime, fam,” Quincy said, sitting down on the other end of the couch.

Amir side eyed him, taking in the relaxed posture as the other man settled in, taking a long sip of his beer. It was nice to see the sniper also wearing a simple pair of drawstring pants and a shirt. Amir, admittedly, felt silly wearing it sometimes, mostly because he probably didn’t need to--well, at least the pants, in any case. But he did so because there was a sense of normalcy around it, he wondered if it was the same for Quincy. Although, Amir mused as he snuck another glance, he had to give it to the sniper, the man could wear a burlap sack and make it look good. The simple clothes he had on now were no exception, clinging to his body in a way that was exceedingly flattering. 

And as if he heard the tech expert’s thoughts, those sharp, golden brown eyes looked over at him, causing Amir to almost choke on his beer. If Quincy noticed, he didn’t say anything.

“So, what nightmares are keepin’ you up this night?” he asked casually, like he was asking about the weather. He rested his arm across the back of the couch, and tilted his head slightly.

The speedster froze for a split second, heart in his throat before he laughed nervously. “Nightmares?Whatnightmares?Nobodysaidanythingaboutnightmares!”

Quincy gave him an amused look. “Breathe, Amir. It’s ok.”

He did so, taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly. Looking away in shame, he cleared his throat and said, “No clue what you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh,” the sniper said, sounding very amused and unconvinced. “You know I can hear you when you have one?”

“I…what? How…” Amir squeaked, looking back, wide eyed. Then he stopped and thought about it for a split second, “…actually, that makes sense considering I can hear you.”

Would it be evil to say that he took a small amount of glee from making the other man look absolutely baffled? Yes? Ah well, he could take the hit to his ailment for a while. What was he now, chaotic neutral? If not, he was getting close.

“Sarry?” the sniper asked, tilting his head to the side. “What do you mean ‘you can hear me’?”

“Uh…I can hear when you bring partners back to your room,” Amir replied, rubbing the back of his neck, "you’re loud enough that I can hear you…definitely keeps me up.”

Out of all the expressions Amir was expecting from Quincy, mortified was not one of them.

“Shit, fam, I had no idea…I’m sorry I was keepin’ you up,” Quincy apologized. Like sincerely apologized. When did pigs start to fly? “Next time I bring anyone back, I’ll move it elsewheres in the mall.”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” the techie said, scratching behind his ear. While he was glad for the apology and solution, he now felt incredibly awkward.

“Nice try, by the by,” the sharpshoot said, grinning into his beer when Amir looked at him confused, "Changing the subject.”

More like I was getting distracted by my own thoughts, Amir thought with an internal sigh. He took a sip of his beer looking out at the skyline and cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah…suuure, that’s what I was doing…totally.”

Quincy chuckled, a rich sound rumbling from the sniper’s chest. He shifted in his spot, drawing Amir’s attention back to him. The Cyte-9 protoframe was calmly watching him and waiting patiently for the answer to his question.

After a few long moments, Amir sighed and leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees. He rolled the bottle between his hands.

“They’re almost always the same…” he said, staring at a spot on the floor, “Everything that happened after taking the serum. What I felt, the sounds, the…smell,” he swallowed a lump in his throat, “The pain, the fear, the screaming, the smell of burnt flesh--the Sculdra’s, mine…Arthur’s …Sol that smell…it’s like it’s burnt into my nostrils and wont fucking go away…fuck, and the serum…” his heart beat picked up, thumming in his chest like a snare drum, “The minute I injected it…it was like…like ants were crawling inside of me. Everywhere. All over. AndIjustwantedthemout.AndthentherewasmorescreamingandohLua-”

He jolted when a strong hand gripped his forearm, making him look up at Quincy wide eyed.

“Breathe for me, Amir,” Quincy’s voice was commanding, but gentle. “Focus n’ breathe, nice n’ slow.”

Amir took a deep breath in and out, repeating it several times until he felt calmer, or at least until his heart didn’t feel like bursting out of his chest. He nodded, letting Quincy know he was okay, who squeezed his arm gently in return. He took one more full breath before continuing.

“I know I don’t belong here,” Amir said quietly, looking away again. “I’m not a soldier. I’m just… just a burden--”

“Nah, you're not a burden, fam,” Quincy interrupted him, squeezing his hand on Amir’s arm again. He grinned a little when the tech expert looked up at him in confusion, but it wasn’t his usual smug or mocking grin. It was gentle and comforting. “Look, I know I can be right knobhead with ya, and I’m sorry ‘bout that. It’s the way I am, takin’ the piss outta people, seeing if they give as good as they get…” he sighed and shook his head, “In anycase, you belong here, soldier or not. You're part of this team as much as anyone else.”

To say Amir was surprised would have been an understatement. Sure he talked with Arthur about all this, but somehow hearing it from Quincy made it feel more real. He looked back at the spot on the floor, but this time he had a small smile on his lips.

“I…thanks,” he said, “That…that means a lot to hear.”

“Anytime, fam,” Quincy said, removing his hand from Amir’s arm and leaning back on the couch. 

They fell into a comfortable silence, Amir looking up at the stars as Quincy finished his beer, humming a soft tune.

“Do you still get nightmares?” the Volt protoframe asked softly after several minutes.

“Of course,” Quincy replied, setting the bottle down next to the couch. “Got plenty of them, they like ta switch it up and keep me guessing which I’m gonna get.”

“Grrrreat,” Amir sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Something to look forward to, I guess.”

Quincy chuckled softly, patting Amir on the leg. “You learn to cope with them. Didn’t his Maj give you anything to help after your talk?”

“Like…drugs?”

“Pfft, no you muppet,” the sniper laughed, poking him in the side, “Advice for coping.”

“Oh. I mean, yeah, he did,” Amir replied, batting the other man’s hand away, “I’ve tried most of them…but they don’t seem to help much.”

“Most? Which ones haven’t you tried yet?” Quincy asked out of curiosity.

“Um…w-well,” Amir stuttered as his face felt like it was on fire. “Just the one.”

The sniper looked over very slowly with a raised brow. “And which one is that, Amir?”

Amir wondered if he could sink into the floor. “W-well…he m-might have mentioned s-something about finding…c-companionship…couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.”

“Ah,” Quincy said with a deep rumbling chuckle, “Yeah, no joke there. It certainly helps…and there’s plenty of-”

“No,” the tech specialist said instantly, looking away, “I’llhurtsomeone.”

“I know the enhanced strength can feel like too much,” Quincy soothed, “But-”

“It’s not the strength,” Amir whispered, fingers fidgeting with lint on his pants. “I…well,” he sighed and lifted a hand, electricity danced over it before he closed his fist, “I do that when I…um…Sol, this is embarrassing.”

“No need ta be embarrassed, fam,” Quincy said, patting his shoulder, “Not civvies then, but ya know more than a few people who’d be able to handle that.”

“Ha,” Amir couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Arthur’s hung up on Zae. Aoi’s more like a big sister. Lettie’s a hard no,” that got him a deep laugh from Quincy, “don’t mind a bit of kink, but not what she’s into. And Eleanor…well, I’m more scared of what Arthur’d do to me.”

“Fam,” Quincy laughed softly, poking him in the cheek, “You missed someone from that list.”

Amir didn’t look at him as he polished of the rest of his beer. He knew exactly who the other man was talking about, but he avoided it like a room full of jocks. “Well…I’m pretty sure Velimir and Minerva aren’t in an open marriage. Lizzie would kill me for even thinking of asking Flare. And Kaya…no. Absolutely not.”

“Amir, you’re still missing someone,” the sniper said, but instead of poking Amir, he leaned in closer to him. “Is there a reason for that?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I worked really hard on this one so here's an alternate gif with no dialogue as well as two still frames: