Iowa

The spring-cleanse has concluded! Now that we have all been graced with purity, we must say our thanks to the ones who participated in last night's ceremony: The Johnson's, The Alvarado's, The Miller's, and the entirety of Shady Grove Retirement home! A rememberance memorial will be held at sunset in town square. Please feel free to stop by and say your thanks- not only because of their great sacrifice, but also because free snacks and drinks WILL be provided for the duration of the memorial!

In two hours we will be one day away from the spring cleanse! At midnight we must all partake in the pre-cleanse prayer! If you haven't already- please cover your mirrors, close your windows, and lock your doors! The nightly prayer broadcast will be playing on the local news station as per-tradition, but will continue into the dawn of Friday! During this intensive prayer time, no business shall be open, and all work duties will be called off- any one in violation of these guidelines will be dealt with immediately.

We here at Iowa state apologize for recent inactivity! The contained rainfall from the recent powerplant meltdown had caused far more damage than anticipated! But fear not- all issues regarding downed power lines, mutated service workers and of course spotty internet connections have (mostly) been resolved!

Following our last transmission, Louis, the chief of our lovely bio-hazard waste removal team has made a statement, which reads as follows:

The smoke hasnt cleared.

Fun fact #1