Seeing what's going on rn with police and national guards putting down protesters makes me think about how in 2014 and 2016 and 2020 and 2023 someone called me a fake leftist because I can't go out and riot like that, as I am one of those people for who tear gas and pepper spray spell death. I'm a fake leftist for not going out and dying an avoidable death so I can do other shit like communicate and educate and agitate and aggregate and support. I'm a fake leftist for having a disability and not wanting to die because of it.
Not wanting to martyr myself painfully and avoidably isn't cowardice: It's fucking sense. I'm better off giving people theory and collecting covid studies and handing out zines at pride where my actions have sustained impact in my community. I'll save the fighting cops (who have killed people far less disabled than me with those same tools) for people who have the fully formed lungs and will experience discomfort instead of suffocating.
