Dec 15, 2024
"I've written this note so many times, it feels like home to me" I wrote, shivering in my car, the ache richocetting throughout my body, "this is me, this is all I'll ever be & no one deserves that".
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"I've written this note so many times, it feels like home to me" I wrote, shivering in my car, the ache richocetting throughout my body, "this is me, this is all I'll ever be & no one deserves that".
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I can’t tell you, but I hope you have the best birthday.
Dear Journal (8/19)
I tried writing a poem about your eyes today. Your fucking eyes, of all the cliché things I could write about. I've fallen in love with blue eyes before, like droopy succulents, or the crash of the waves on the sand.
Yes, cliché shit like that.
I don't know what I'm doing.
With love, Me.
Dear Journal (8/17)
I can't remember the last time waking up was this hard. I just sent you 13 text messages, my scattered thoughts probably won't ever come out right. My fingers hurt from continuing to try typing out how this makes me feel. I never knew how selfish that sounded. How I feel. Really? What about you? What am I doing to you, how are you feeling? You're having lunch with your best friends parents today. They've known you your entire life. Do they know you are breaking? Can they see it? I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I miss us. With love, Me.
Dear Journal (8/4)
This girl who stole my heart when I was 12 messaged me on Facebook last night. We only speak on her birthday. That's it. But she told me she needed to talk to me, Asked me if I was up. I didn't answer. I don't really know how to say anything but Happy Birthday, I hope you have a good one. I hope she had a good one.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Dear Journal (7/28)
I can't stay here. I'm here for all the wrong reasons, when I should be back there with you. I should be trying harder to make it work, instead of running for the hills. Like I always do. But this time, I'm not doing the "easy" thing. The easy thing would have been staying there, not coming back and entangling my crazy messed up life with your crazy messed up life. This is will never work. This will never be anything more. When will I start believing that? Fuck. With love, Me.
h•o•m•e
Dear Journal (7/23)
I don’t really know what I’m supposed to feel right now. I am so unhappy but happy at the same time. I don’t feel like I fit in here anymore. I feel like this is all a dream, perhaps a nightmare, and I should be waking up soon.
I woke up next to you this morning, twice. Once when you were placing the blanket over me, and the second time in the bed that was just recently inhabited by your fiancé. I felt naughty. You felt it too.
Then we fucked on top of the covers, you said you didn’t want to have to wash the sheets.
The whole rest of the day, I felt like I was still on that plane. Weezy. Sick to my stomach. But loving the feeling of going up.
With love, Me.