spookysage said: I have a connection to the things “girls” go through, if that makes sense? Also being a “boy” would just be a foreign country to me, and I can’t imagine what kind of person I’d be if I’d been one this whole time instead.
spookysage said: …otoh I never questioned the concept of having kids until I got a girlfriend who didn’t want any. Then I realized I wasn’t attached to that idea at all and never put much thought into it apart from cool names. So I can tell the distinction.
I just hang out in gender limbo because:
I don't want to define myself by the fact that there are a lot of 'girl' things which don't resonate with me whatsoever, as 'girl things' are extremely difficult to define when gender is such a subjective concept,
BUT my experience of being a girl has basically involved being told, 'YOU! You have female sexual characteristics, so we expect you to behave in a certain way and experience certain social situations!', and... I don't want to base a large chunk of my identity on that. The fact that people have told me I should do certain things purely because I possess a certain biology is, well, horrible. It's far too deterministic. I want to distance myself from it because it repulses me. My gender presentation is a deliberate facade because I want the perks that come with conformity, and this facade doesn't cause me much distress (though shopping for clothes can be a pretty joyless experience because of Reasons), but I'm still not willing to define myself by my organs.
Obviously, I can't form an identity that's *completely* disconnected from my biology, but I don't want to give my sex organs too much credit. They're components of me, and people tell me that they're important components, but I reserve the right to say, 'whatever, I don't want them to be that big a deal'. Bodily autonomy means I get to decide how I feel about my junk.
