Spoing is a jumping spider! Though it's not quite a jumping spider, you know? Like how a lynx is a big cat, but it's not a big cat. You know. But even so, I would like to express my appreciation to real jumping spiders! With their extra conventional cuteness, they capture the hearts of even people who are scared of other bugs, and as such are ambassadors for the rest of spiderkind. A gateway to appreciating some other creatures, which some fools may call "less charismatic", as if it is not charismatic to, for example, dangle a blob of silk to catch moths like a little fisherman. Anyway, as president, I will make sure all jumping spiders are compensated for their services. In dollars.
I don't know if I'm just saying this because I've been replaying Galaxy recently and have a sort of recency bias, but Spoing really might be one of the cutest Mario enemies ever! We all know, we all love, the eyes-in-a-void face! And on a BUG? Yowza! I've seen that kind of face on crabs and sometimes bagworms (I think?) but I'm not sure I've seen it on any other arthropod, and ESPECIALLY not a spider. I don't know how Spoing would hunt. Would it just shove prey into the eye void? Is it also a mouth? That would be pretty awesome.
You know, their faces make them look kind of like funny astronauts... and they only have four limbs, not eight. Are these truly spiders? Were they once human, until something unspeakable happened? And will it happen to me someday? I hope so!
Spoings mainly appear in Space Junk Galaxy, which I think we on the Weird Mario Enemies Office Pizza Party Email Chain all agree is a really great galaxy, with impeccable vibes. It's space at some of its most lonely, as opposed to spectacle, and I REALLY appreciate the presence of spiders here. Spiders and their webs are always used to visually communicate the idea of a place or object being unused, abandoned. And this galaxy is just a bunch of forgotten debris, not inhabited by any sapient civilization! If moths are the mascot of empty wallets, spiders are the mascots of forgotten attics! Spoings to not seem to make webs, which, yeah, actively hunting spiders do not! But they might make Sling Pods. And Sling Pod Galaxy is... well, I don't want to use this post to criticize a galaxy that precious spiders may have had a part in designing. So I will move on to...
Name: Spangler
Debut: Super Mario Galaxy
Spoing's got an evolutionary relative, and rather than being a spider boing, this is a spider dangler! It at first looks like a recolor of Spoing, but it actually lacks the fuzziness of Spoing's abdomen, and it DOES have a big ol' spinneret, which it is always using to dangle on a silk thread! One big one, like a really long string cheese. These ones debut in Ghostly Galaxy, indicating that they are spookier than the more generalized Spoings. Is it the silk? Is silk Spooky? It is what ends up encasing the spider's prey... like a MUMMY! Maybe I'm on to something here!
I really like Spoing and Spangler, and that both exist! It may be sort of the same design for two different enemy behaviors, but they're both behaviors that make sense for the design, and it's a design I always love to see. It's like they're closely related species! Maybe a population of Spanglers was separated from the others and ended up in the more barren Space Junk Galaxy, where there was not nearly as much infrastructure to dangle from, and where only active hunting was a viable strategy. And over time, Spoings evolved from this population! Actually, maybe they even use the Sling Pods for hunting, when we're not looking, launching themselves at unsuspecting prey...
And just to make sure we're not appreciating fictional creatures over real ones too much, I should tell you that there is, indeed, a spider that slingshots itself at prey using its web. Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction. And it's often a spider's fault! The variety of ways in which different species use their silk is honestly one of the most incredible things in all of nature!
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i'm crying i just realized that the one post of pinga hitting pingu with the spoon I wrote "spoing" instead of spoon like wtf where did spoing come from and how did it make the post so much better
