#spilling secrets

I would have pulled down the moon and stars for you, if only it would have given me one more night in your arms, for I had found a home in them. Gone were the twisted trails of darkness that threatened to overtake me. Disappeared were the demons that crept at my heels, ready to take a swing the second I turned my back. I could be whole, unscarred. I could finally feel free, as long as I was in your arms.

Maybe you didn’t want another taste of my magic. Did I burn you with my poetic words, singe and ruin your skin with the heat of my fire? I never thought we would come to this, but here I am alone in a crowded room. Your new lover stands on your arm, laughing at some joke that probably wasn’t even that funny. Your eyes look lost as they wander around the party neither of us wants to be at. I can’t help but wonder if you’re looking for me. I can’t help but hope you miss me as much as I miss you.

You have a new life now, one that doesn’t include me. There is a throbbing hole where you used to reside in my heart, a mound of ash where our love used to burn, because we swore we would last forever. You promised me a farmhouse in Georgia, a diamond ring gleaming in the moonlight. Now I try to erase your memories from my mind with a bottle of Jack. I avoid the places we used to go because what if I forget to hate you? What if I forget not to drive past your side of town, and fall into the rabbit hole again?

I thought I was strong enough to have a life without you, but you still plague my every memory, a ghost dancing at my heels. Watch out, or I might trip over you and become undone yet again. You’d be better off leaving this one-horse town for good, not once glancing back or remembering the life we almost had together.

Blue Bloods (TV Series) - S11/E5 ‘Spilling Secrets’ (2021) Len Cariou as Henry Reagan

A Brightwell Fanfic

Story By: @hoffkk

Prompt Request: Gimme a question to start with, and I’ll give you a Brightwell fic that ends with a kiss.

Question: What is THAT supposed to be? from @getyourselfaunicorn

Summary:  When JT and Tally come over to check out Malcolm and Dani's new place, stories are shared and secrets are revealed. Some intentionally, some not so much. Let's just say Malcolm has a big mouth.... but can a very pregnant, very hormonal Dani forgive and forget?

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JT and Tally came over to take a small tour of Dani and Malcolm's new apartment. Since they were dating and having a baby together, it was logical that they should move in together. It was a pretty nice place overall with three bedrooms, two baths, and a spacious open kitchen/living area. However, coming back to the living room, JT spotted an unusual set up in the corner and blurted, "And what is that supposed to be?" Initially, he noticed the yoga mats and the stability ball and assumed it was a little fitness area, but now that he was closer, JT took in some other details. He observed a small shelf filled with child birthing and rearing texts, posters of birthing techniques and the formation of a fetus, and, on a table underneath them, a plastic doll with diapers and a blanket.

"That is our birthing zone. It has everything we need to prep for the big day." Malcolm said proudly. "You like it?"

"It's... something." JT answered vaguely, staring at the poster of the birthing process. It gave him flashbacks to the birth of his own child a year and a half ago, both amazing and disgusting. Feeling squeamish, he added, "I'm gonna need a beer." then headed off quickly to the kitchen.

Following behind, Malcolm joined JT in the kitchen. By the time they made it back to the living room, the women were out of the nursery and relaxing on the sofa. Sitting in the chairs perpendicular to the couch, the men passed over drinks to their significant others. JT and Tally enjoy a cold beer, while Malcolm and Dani stuck with some refreshing bottles of water.

"I love what you guys have done with the place." Tally chirped. "The birthing zone is a nice touch. I'm guessing you guys got inspired by the Lamaze class I recommended?"

Malcolm smirked as he flicked a glance to Dani and said, "Something like that."

Dani rolled her eyes and took a sip of her water to avoid answering.

JT, being the astute detective that he was, picked up on their nonverbal cues and smiled, "You got kicked out, didn't you?"

"Yep." Malcolm spilled.

"Malcolm!" Dani scolded, throwing a pillow at him. "You promised not to tell anyone."

"Technically, he figured it out." Malcolm tossed back."I just confirmed it."

"I'm sorry," Tally interrupted. "how exactly do you get kicked out of Lamaze?"

"Yeah," JT agreed. "This is a story I gotta here."

"We had a difference of opinion." Malcolm said lightly.

"Yeah, Instructor Shelly thought she was god's gift to child birthing, we thought she was a quack." Dani sassed.

"I actually thought she was insightful with her breathing techniques." Malcolm tried to defend.

"Seriously?" Dani challenged. "Go to your happy place? Pain is only a state on mind? That lady is whacked."

"So, you disagreed with Shelly, then what?" JT noted amusingly, waiting for her to continue.

"Yeah, she always seemed so sweet and understanding to me. I can't see her kicking you out of class over that." Tally commented thoughtfully.

"It wasn't just that." Malcolm asserted. "Dani also cussed her out in front of the entire class."

"The woman had a c-section. A C-SECTION!" Dani stated exasperatedly. "She is up in front of everyone, telling us that child birth is painless with the right tools when she's never even given birth naturally. What does she know?"

"I take it you told her that." JT chuckled.

"Along with where she could put her happy place." Malcolm remarked. "Then, we were promptly escorted out of the building by gym security.

"Wow." Tally stated with a laugh of her own. "That's quite the story."

"Yeah, it wasn't exactly my finest moment, but Shelly had it coming." Dani admitted, rubbing her stomach soothingly. She was a few days into her third trimester and was quite large already. The more she grew, the harder it was to get comfortable and keep control of her emotions, though it didn't stop her from trying. It's just too bad trying didn't always mean succeeding.

The couples talked for a while longer until the drinks were gone and the laughter subsided. Itching to get back to their bouncing baby boy and wanting to let Dani rest, JT and Tally called it an early night and headed home. Once they were gone, Malcolm cleaned up the bottles, disposing of them in the recycling bin under the kitchen sink, then returned to his girlfriend who was now stretched out across the sofa with hands cradling her protruding stomach. With a small smile, Malcolm walked over, picked up her legs, and sat down, placing her feet atop his lap where he began massaging them.

Dani's eyes were closed as she moaned, "That feels so good."

Malcolm didn't feel the need to respond. Instead, he kept working, kneading his thumbs into the balls of her foot. He didn't notice, but Dani started to watch him with an appreciative smile. After a couple minutes, he switched feet. That was when she spoke up and said, "I don't deserve you."

"What are you talking about?" He queried, meeting her eyes with a furrowed brow.

"You've been so great this entire pregnancy, literally waiting on me hand and foot, and I'll I've done is yell, complain, and make a grown woman cry." Dani explained then quickly added, "By the way, thanks for not telling JT about that part."

Pausing his massage, Malcolm sighed, "First of all, you don't have to thank me. Second of all, you are entitled to your emotions. You know why? Because you are creating a human being inside of you."

"I know, but I'd understand if you were angry or annoyed with me." She told him.

"Dani," He retorted. "you are carrying our child, and, as long as she is inside you, I could never be angry about anything you say or do."

"Fine, so I--wait... " Dani paused, moving her feet off of her boyfriend and onto the floor, so she could shift back to a sitting position, which was more difficult than anticipated with her belly, but she managed then finally finished, "did you just say she?"

Malcolm sputtered, "N-No... I said it. As long as it is inside you."

"No, you said she." Dani said certainly. "Did you call the doctor behind my back? Are we having a girl?"

Seeing the twinkle in her eye, Malcolm wasn't sure if it was from excitement or anger. Either way, the jig was up. He couldn't and wouldn't lie any longer, so he answered, "Yes. We are." but before she could say anything, Malcolm ranted on, "Listen, I know we agreed to wait and be surprised, but this entire pregnancy was a surprise. It through me for a complete loop and gave me anxiety like crazy. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't do well in situations where I have no control. "

"No, stop it..." She trailed off sarcastically.

"Anyway," Malcolm pushed on, ignoring her teasing and the smile it evoked on his face. "knowing the gender was just a way of getting some control back and calming my nerves... just like with the books and posters. The more I know, the more I can prepare and the more confident I'll feel about all of this."

"It's a lot to take in. I get it." Dani said seriously, taking his hands in hers and giving them a loving squeeze.

"Good," He returned gratefully then went on. "because I really am sorry about lying to you and spoiling the surprise. "

"It's okay." She told him. "The truth is, when the doctor first asked if we wanted to know the gender, I only said no because I was scared."

"Really?" Malcolm asked, not expecting to hear that.

"Yeah," Dani nodded. "You said knowing the gender of the baby made you feel under control. Well, it just made me feel overwhelmed. It meant that this thing inside me was more than just a concept to wrap my head around, that it was an actual little person."

"Knowing the gender would make it real." He reiterated, understanding crossing his face.

"And I wasn't ready to admit that." She confessed. "Not then."

"And now?" He queried.

"And now," She repeated before adding, "My stomach is way too big to ignore, so..."

"Funny." He humored. "But in all serious, are you still feeling scared?"

"Not so much." She nodded then continued delightfully, "I'm too happy to be scared. We're having a daughter."

"We're having a daughter." Malcolm beamed back at her then raised a hand to cup her cheek and pull her in for a tender kiss. Pulling back after a moment, he moved his hand down to Dani's stomach. Splaying it across her belly button, Malcolm felt her warmth penetrate the oversized cotton t-shirt followed by a light kick then another and another. For the rest of the evening, they lied cuddled on the sofa, feeling the baby kick, and talking names for a baby girl. They quickly agreed for the middle name to be Jessica. The first name, however, was taking longer to decide. That was okay though. They had a few weeks left to decide. For now, it was enough to know that they had a daughter and that they weren't alone in their fear.

Vincent- “Despite the proper and reserved air I try to keep. I admittedly have a penchant for emo pop music. Particularly I am fond of Fall Out Boy.”

Beeyel- “Pfff- Like I have a secret to be embarrassed about. Well, I guess there was that one thing, I got licked by one of my ex’s when she found out I had her precious baby boy killed from a previous fling she was involved in. Really pissed her off to learn that, gauged out my right eye and everything. Still, I got her back.

An eye for an eye and all that. but still me, an archdemon, to be whipped by a girl. It be pathetic if she wasn’t so hot.”

Emery- “One night, after a rather unsuccessful night of hunting for a meal, I resorted to catching a duck that living around the bushes of the house. The next evening I found Heath bathing five to six ducklings in the kitchen sink. His duckling entourage as he calls them. They all squawk horrible when every I enter the same room. I can only assume they know what I’ve done.”

Miranda just broke one of the ultimate #bestfriendcodes i.e. Do Not Spill Each Other’s Secrets! Especially in front of a camera...smh

- Stan Jansen, a famous movie director is at Hillridge Junior High to film a documentary on the lives of the students there. While Lizzie and Miranda are thrilled about it, Gordo feels the opposite because he thinks that Stan will most probably put a spotlight on just the popular kids like Ethan and Kate.

- Moreover, Gordo prefers to be behind the camera instead of being the one on camera. For some reason, Gordo catches the attention of Stan and pulls him aside to introduce himself. Stan tells Gordo he loves his refreshing energy and wants to “keep an eye on him”; I still don’t understand why he’s drawn to Gordo.

The height difference between the two is insane

Gordo Throws Shade

- The next morning, Lizzie isn’t happy about what she’s wearing for school and wants to change outfits for the third time. Well, you know what they say; Third time’s the charm. 

I love Miranda’s shirt; It’s very punk rock and futuristic looking. 

- In school, Stan finds Gordo and refers to him as his “leading man”. Okay but when Animated Lizzie said that Gordo is one of these three attributes, ‘tall’, ‘dark’ and ‘handsome’, which one was she talking about? Was it ‘dark’ or ‘handsome’. Gordo is certainly not tall and doesn’t ‘dark’ mean tanned? So, it has to be handsome right? If so, that’s so cute how she thinks Gordo is handsome.

- Anyways, Stan wants Gordo to add a little drama to his performance in front of the camera. So when Kate comes into the frame and asks Gordo if he could walk her to class (which is obviously not what happens in real life), he throws her the ultimate shade and tells her to her face how he really thinks about her and it’s not good...

I kinda feel bad for Kate 

- Unexpectedly, Kate didn’t clap back at Gordo and I guess it’s because they’re on camera and she eventually leaves. Yikes! I mean, Gordo is right but he didn’t need to be that honest, especially when the cameras are rolling. 

- Well, Stan is very happy with Gordo’s performance but Lizzie and Miranda are kinda surprised by how brutally honest Gordo was to Kate. Gordo doesn’t feel any remorse because he feels like honesty is the best policy.

Gordo Crosses Over To The Dark Side

- After school, the trio are on their usual three-way phone call and Lizzie and Miranda really want for Gordo to find a way to get the both of them on camera. Gordo doesn’t think it’s a good idea but regardless, he tells them he will try to ask Stan.  

- Gordo also advises them that in order for them to get themselves noticed by Stan, they need to find their own voice and be themselves in front of the camera. Easy for him to say. 

Miranda needs to be more observant next time lol

- It seems like everyone at school is trying really hard to get their own chunk of screen-time because Hillridge Junior High basically looks like a circus now with everybody dressed up in colourful costumes and trying to showcase their talent. 

- Stan asks Gordo to go up to Larry Tudgeman and to “create conflict”, which means be mean to him. He asks Larry to describe himself, which he does in his quirky, ‘Tudgeman’ kind of way; Stan immediately gets bored and calls cut. Stan really wants Gordo to go in on Tudgeman and Gordo actually does what he says and proceeds to insult his looks and personal hygiene. 

- Lizzie and Miranda walk up to Gordo and they tell him that he was being mean to Larry. Gordo doesn’t listen to them because he’s been told by Stan that directors aren’t usually the ‘nice guys’. 

- This is when things get pretty interesting and not to mention, just plain awkward; Stan asks Gordo to introduce Lizzie and Miranda to the camera and we go down this rabbit hole, starting with Miranda saying that they keep each other’s secrets. Gordo becomes curious as to what these secrets are and Miranda, with her loose mouth accidentally reveals that Lizzie had a crush on Gordo in the 4th Grade! Shut the front door and say it ain’t so!

Miranda should have known better not to reveal that secret to Gordo, especially when in front of a camera!

- Lizzie freaks out and couldn’t believe that Miranda just blurted that out. She gets her revenge by telling everyone that Miranda used to snack on dog biscuits in the 4th grade. Basically, Lizzie and Miranda are now mad at each other and it’s all Gordo’s fault. Umm, it’s not his fault that Miranda can’t keep a secret.

Don’t Y’all Think That Stan Is A Creeper?

- Back at home, Lizzie feels really down about the whole situation and confides in her mom about what happened. Jo advises her to talk to them without the pressure of having to be filmed, which is the most obvious answer you can give. But, we do see Lizzie telling her mom that she used to like Gordo and Jo was like I KNEW IT! So, her mom ships them together I see. Good choice.

- We then see Lizzie and Miranda make up pretty quickly, which is for the better because I don’t need them to drag out their conflict any further. Meanwhile, Gordo is now targeting Ethan Craft and basically calls him good-looking but lacks any substance, which is highly offensive if you ask me. 

- Anyways, Lizzie and Miranda confront Gordo and tells him he’s being mean to people again. Gordo defends himself that him being that way is what’s gonna help him become a director in the future. Well, that’s what Stan is feeding into his brain. 

- They want Gordo to realize that the director is just using him and asking him to be someone he’s not. They also give him an ultimatum that they won’t want to be his friend anymore if he continues this mean streak of his and they head off into the girls’ room, which can I say it’s the perfect escape for them.

- At the Digital Bean, Gordo tries to talk to them again but his friends don’t want to deal with him until he stops listening to Stan. But the thing is, even when Gordo asks Stan to leave him alone, Stan doesn’t listen and continues to film him. It’s creepy how this grown adult is literally following and stalking a teenager with a camera and his crew. If I were Gordo, I would call my parents and give this guy trouble. 

Time To Make Things Right

- This is when the A-plot intersects with the B-plot. Matt and Melina are also at the Digital Bean because they also want to get the chance to appear in the documentary. 

Gordo is done with Stan, as he should be

- Gordo, who is frustrated with this whole thing gives a mini speech in front of the camera and calls Stan out by saying that he’s been encouraged by Stan to act mean to his friends. Stan is obviously not happy with Gordo at this point but Gordo doesn’t care because he wants his friends back. Luckily for him, Lizzie and Miranda saw the whole thing and they are happy to have the regular Gordo back as well. 

- Melina decides to play another prank on Matt by framing him for putting ketchup all over Stan’s video recorder. Stan sees Matt holding a ketchup bottle given to him by Melina and we then get a chase sequence between the two, which involves loads of ketchup and is that, cream and chocolate? This sequence resulted in this moment:

Attack of the Killer Tomato Sauce

- In the end, Gordo apologizes to his best friends for how he has been acting and Stan tells Gordo that he will never do business with Gordo ever again. Oh, what a shame.

B-Plot: Meet Matt’s Friend/’Girlfriend’, Melina Bianco

- Melina is first mentioned by Matt during breakfast when he informs his mom that he needs to stay back after school because he was framed by Melina for putting a rubber snake in the teacher’s desk. Matt doesn’t seem upset by this because he is somehow impressed by what she did. And of course, we suspect that he has a crush on Melina as well.

- We fast forward to later in the day (I think) and Matt is showing Melina his house and some of his fake accomplishments to which she immediately picks up on them being made up. However, her eyes set on Sam’s gnome statue, which is currently drying from a paint job and asks him about it. 

- This is basically when Melina sabotages Matt again. When Matt leaves the kitchen to set up his video game, Melina sneakily paints all over the gnome’s face, ruining Sam’s work. 

- Sam and Jo notices the butchering of the gnome statue and confronts the kids. Matt suggests to Melina that they both take the blame so that they would go easier on the both of them. Well, Matt should know by now that he cannot trust her like that and to no one’s surprise, she blames Matt and Matt admits he did it lol. 

- I thought Jo was smart enough to realise that Melina was the one who actually did it? I mean, she already knew from Matt that Melina framed him for the rubber snake incident. Or maybe she does know and she’s just doing this to teach Matt a lesson? I don’t know.

- We eventually get a montage of the both of them trying to frame the other for playing pranks on their teacher and classmates at school. And they seem to be having lots of fun; It’s such a weird relationship dynamic they have going on, no?

Overall Thoughts

- This episode was very packed, in a good way. The inclusion of Stan’s character generated a lot of drama within our main trio friend group. I hate to say it but I’m pretty sure there are real people in showbiz who are like Stan and they will do what they can to manipulate minors to get what they want. 

- He fed Gordo lies about how being mean and creating drama/conflict will make you a successful director. And it’s unfortunate that Gordo was caught up in all of that but at least he got out of it in the end. 

- We also know from watching this episode that Lizzie does indeed has or had a crush on Gordo. We got hints of it in episode 1.19, when Lizzie felt a little jealous about Gordo dating Brooke Baker. In terms of Gordo liking Lizzie back, there is no clear indication yet so far in the series but boy, we are going to get there pretty soon.