#speaker seb

Hey, guess what, my arm doesn’t hurt today!  So I decided to write.  :D  Anyway, here’s a little bit of a different flavor of the poly than usual, which is me leaning a little more heavily on the parts of myself that are similar to Sebastian and also indulging in some fun pining.  I didn’t link this to any particular prompt from the list, though, and this is longer than 10 sentences.  Just started writing and this is what happened.  I hope you like it!

(Also, anon, I am never bored of you.  I love getting asks for this game and in general.)

“They’ve always been like this,” the Seer said one day as she handed Sebastian a mug of coffee, both of them watching as Li and the Speaker constructed a plan one fragmented sentence that the other would finish at a time, sitting cross-legged on the floor, knees touching, and yet never once hitting each other as they gestured (like a single body rather than two).  And it suddenly made so much sense.

“It,” of course, meaning why Sebastian always felt like he was intruding when it was the three of them together, why it always felt like more than his height that kept him from walking perfectly in step with either of them.  Why he couldn’t, for once in his life, be honest about his intentions.  (Having these stirring feelings for them both only made it worse--or maybe better.  Maybe, at least this way, he knew that they were both good for each other, that they would both be happy, that he could walk away knowing they would both be treated with as much care as two people in love could manage.)

(It wasn’t actually better, but he told himself it could be.)

He really wasn’t sure what to do, then, with the fact that there were also moments when Sebastian forgot to realize he didn’t belong.  When Li picked up some thread of his dry humor and and wove it into something like banter, or when the Speaker relied on him like trusting Sebastian was as easy as breathing.  Talking himself out of flirting with them--either or both--in moments like that was incredibly hard, especially when it wasn’t like he wanted to disrupt what they clearly already had (even if neither, apparently, was able to say it aloud).  Sebastian didn’t want to come between them but to go with them.  To be a part of the world they sometimes pulled him into with those gestures and not wonder if he was the alien.

No, stamping down on these feelings would be so much easier if he was just jealous like any normal person.  Jealousy was aggressive and vile and easy to condemn, an easily-identified toxic byproduct, but longing?  Longing was a subtler poison.  It hurt no one but him, after all, so long as he had the self-control not to act on it.

For a second, the room fell silent, and Sebastian blinked, wondering if someone had asked him a question.  But the woman on the couch at his side wasn’t looking at him, and neither was Li or the Speaker, who were instead staring at each other, eyes wide and cheeks lifting into matching grins.

“--the banana rug horoscope trick!” they both said suddenly, at the same time, only to immediately fall into laughter.  Sebastian looked at the Seer, who thankfully didn’t seem to understand any better than he did.  He wondered if the look on his face was as fond as hers.

“Incredible,” Sebastian muttered to himself as the two of them seemed to argue about whether whatever they meant before would really work.

“You know all of that stuff about how when AIs talk to each other, their language evolves too quickly for people to keep up after a few minutes?” Seer asked quietly, a sly little quirk to her lips.

Sebastian huffed out a chuckle.  Yes, he said without speaking.  If he didn’t already believe it, those two would have convinced him.

In another instant, the Speaker rushed from the room and up the stairs, just as Li leaned backwards, flashing a lazy grin in Sebastian’s direction.  He returned the look with an unimpressed, raised eyebrow, face already having lost its amusement if only for the purpose of telling Li how unbelievable the two of them were.

“Don’t pretend like you aren’t part of this,” Li said, and Sebastian had to remind himself that Li was talking to both him and the Seer, that it didn’t mean what his heart wanted it to.

What passed his lips was, “We all know we’re stuck with you.”  What he held back was, I want to be.  Li kept smiling at him, even when the Speaker returned with a bundle of something under one arm, squeezing his shoulder on the way past, and Sebastian felt warm.

He knew better than to let his feelings get in the way of work, but this didn’t hurt.  Not them, not anyone they were meant to help, and (Sebastian realized with a breath of relief) not even himself.  So maybe it was alright, for now, to let the whole thing be.  He could sit by and keep longing so long as it was unobtrusive...so long as it meant he could enjoy that warmth.

Hello, anon!  Thank you for your concern about my condition; I’m doing my best to manage it, and even if it’s not really getting better, I have it under control most of the time.  So I’m doing okay.

And yes, you can absolutely have 37. defy + Li/Seb poly.  My original idea for this was something re: that one ask Rhi answered about what would happen if (hypothetically) the Speaker’s memories of their loved ones were lost, but then I found myself unable to fill a story that angsty because I confessed to my crush, and now we are girlfriends.  So you’re getting some fluff featuring hand-holding and soft kisses because that’s the kind of mood I’m going to be stuck in for the next 36 hours at least.  <3

“Hey,” says the barista as you pick up one of your cardboard trays of drinks from the counter and hand the other one off to Sebastian beside you, mentally counting off to make sure you got everyone’s order, “I’d be careful on your way out.  There’s someone by the door, in all black, who’s had eyes on you since you walked in...”

The genuine, sincere concern in the boy’s eyes is all that stops you from laughing because it’s actually quite sweet that he would think to look out for you like this, even if the figure in heavy black clothes whose eyes have probably been roaming over both you and Sebastian actually means you zero harm at all.  You offer a smile.  “That’s our friend,” you say.

It doesn’t look like he quite believes you, but Sebastian has already placed a tip in the jar and is turning to leave, so you just shrug in a way you hope is reassuring.  Li is waiting, twirling the car keys as Sebastian murmurs quietly about the misunderstanding, the ghost of a laugh showing through his smile.  Li, on the other hand, laughs aloud, which draws eyes to the three of you from around the cafe as you watch Li pull Sebastian into a kiss.  You reach over and steady the drink carrier between them, and Li covers your hand without even having to look.

Anon, I am not bored at all.  I’m so happy you like my writing, honestly.  ^_^ 

Here’s 38. soak + Li/Seb poly.

Sebastian had been very sure that, if the Speaker of all people was telling him he should take a break and come outside for a while, it was a good idea.  He had forgotten, conveniently, in the midst of his research that Li was also supposed to be around today, and he’d been so lost in the gentle way that the Speaker’s hand had pressed into his shoulder, too tense from holding up a book, to notice whether there had been a smirk on that face.

Whatever excuses he made, however, would not change the fact that he had walked freely out the front door and therefore allowed those two--those two, he thought again with far too much affection--to completely soak him with a garden hose.

Eyes still closed against the onslaught, he heard the two of them high five, but it was a weak sound, like maybe they were both laughing too hard to aim properly.

“Really?” he asked, looking down to see that while his shirt had taken the brunt of it, no part of him had escaped entirely unscathed.

“Really,” said Li, eyes trailing over Sebastian in a way that was so unsubtle that it would have been a miracle if he didn’t notice.

He looked to the Speaker and deadpanned, “I trusted you.”

The sound of the front door closing behind Azalea was somehow still resonating in Sebastian’s mind, even though it had been at least an hour already, and he supposed it was inevitable when the only other sounds in the building since then had been the quiet breaths of pages turning.  It was, therefore, very obvious when the plush chair across the room creaked as the person sitting in it shifted, as though the furniture itself was sick and tired of trying to hide the way Li kept twisting to look out the window while failing to be subtle about it.  Sebastian was under no illusions that Li didn’t know that Sebastian knew what Li was doing and why.  But until this point, when Li sighed aloud, thin lips twisted into a scowl and furrowed brow half-hidden by wavy green hair, Sebastian had given the courtesy of not commenting on it.

This time, though, he raised an eyebrow (and saw as Li’s mouth opened to cut him off, though he ignored it) and said, “If you want to join the others at the bar, they’ll be happier to see you than you seem to be sitting here.”

Li’s head shook, frustrated, and a blush took hold, one that was so subtle, however, that anyone who wasn’t Sebastian (or similarly gifted) might not notice.  “Too loud,” Li said shortly.

Sebastian shrugged lightly as if to say, Then what’s the problem?

A long moment passed in which Sebastian watched Li watch (not read) a page of a book before Li looked up, staring almost melancholically out the window again and saying, “Neither of us liked crowds, as kids.”

Thank you very much, anon!  I’m glad you like my writing.  ^_^

Sorry this took so long, but here is 48. rampage + Sebastian from @speakergame​.

Sebastian had always, always prided himself on control.  His ability to control a situation, to wrest control by finding patterns in chaos, to control himself and his emotions such that his judgement wasn’t clouded any more than was absolutely human (or, mostly so).  He had the potential and the cleverness and the power necessary to rampage through a problem, but it was his ability to choose a more careful, controlled path and succeed just as utterly that he considered real strength.

But like this, watching the Seer--no, watching his friend--shivering with fear and worry at the bedside of someone he loved, someone they’d all come so close to losing...

Sebastian suddenly understood the impulse that drove men to abandon control for vengeance.  He clenched a fist at his side, feeling the pulse of his heart boil over into his fingertips, not entirely sure if he was holding himself back or trying to burn away his own restraint.  But--if Sebastian couldn’t trust himself to do this, to muster the strength it took to maintain control in the face of anger and fear, all he could think was, then how could the Speaker trust him?

Hello, anon!  To answer your question, I absolutely take requests from anons.  The reason you don’t see many is that my blog isn’t terribly popular.  Would you believe you’re only the second anonymous writing request I’ve ever gotten?

Anyway, this is a delight.  Here’s 9. falling + Li/Seb poly route.  I’ve tried to keep the Speaker vague so that they could be yours if you like ^_^

There are times when you look between them and you think you can see the heat-haze shimmer of affection in the air between where one of them stands and where you do.  Sometimes you see it between them, and you’re not sure if that scares you more than it makes you happy.  But you can’t help wondering if it’s all a reflection of what’s in your head--your heart.

It’s maybe a little ridiculous, how easy these feelings were when before you’d barely even considered it possible to be in love with more than one person at a time aside from, maybe, celebrity crushes in all their untouchable glory.  But these people--your childhood friend and your detective, quietly snarky and earnestly serious--are within reach, and that makes it somehow more impossible.  The thing about being in love with two people, after all, is that you have two hands and only two hands.  If you reach out to them both, you have nothing left to catch yourself.

But you’re already falling, aren’t you?  So maybe there’s not really that much to lose.

Hi, anon!  I don’t mind at all.  Just sorry that this took so long since I did something to screw up my back a couple days ago.  It’s better now, though, so here’s some more long, twisting sentences inspired by @speakergame‘s poly route.  The last stories were Speaker-focused and then Seb-focused, so Li gets it this time.

This was...honestly going to be a lot more dramatic, but then I felt a little bad because I couldn’t fix it in 10 sentences, so I relaxed the angst.

You’d thought that maybe...well, you didn’t know exactly, whether it was that you thought Li would have grown more careful with age or that you thought maybe it wouldn’t be so painful--wouldn’t make your chest twist like a wet towel--now that you had both grown up and apart.  But you see the signs (shallow breath, hands falling slack to the side, rapid blinking, loss of balance, skin suddenly so pale it looks like paper ready to tear) and you know you’ve just been avoiding the unfortunate truth: Li hasn’t changed a bit.

And you still feel the same choking worry tinged with exasperation when you see Li collapse, so of course you’re there, tucking the frail body against your chest, as soon as it happens.  So is Sebastian, which surprises you in a way and yet not at all.  He reaches out, fingers brushing your hands as his arms slide under Li beside yours.

“We have to go,” he says, and you know he’s right, that even though Li is light, Sebastian can carry the weight without slowing down at all, unlike you, and--

And it’s not as hard as you thought, releasing Li into Sebastian’s arms instead of yours, when the worry you saw in his green eyes had you convinced for a second that you were looking into a mirror.  Maybe he can help you yell at Li later, too, though you have your doubts it’ll ever get through the witch’s head how much this scares you.

This one is for a friend on the @speakergame Discord server who requested 10. righteous + Sebastian.  I know my usual stories try to be as generic as possible with the Speaker so that it could be any of yours, but I chose to give the Speaker a personality and pronouns in this one specifically to explore a possible aspect of their dynamic with Sebastian after meeting for the first time.

“I don’t like him,” they said, turning to their sister and Azalea almost as soon as the door of the coffee shop shut behind them all.  Both women were going to refute their impression, they knew that, and maybe there was a point hidden somewhere in that defense, but they were just too indignant to care, especially considering how he’d challenged their information (not that he’d done so, since understanding a Seer was farfetched, sure, but how).

What kind of private detective invited a client to meet him just to prove he was so smart and that they were lying?!

“He’s so smug, so arrogant, so convinced he has to prove he’s good at everything before he’ll give you the time of day, so--”

“So much like you?” said their sister, not unkindly but with a little spark in her eye that lit their cheeks with righteous fire.