#space aces

So, Sylvie set up a time to hang out with Ace at his place, where they could easily keep Ace from running away upon seeing Aec. Hiding in Sylvie’s kitchen, Aec isn’t nervous about Ace’s arrival. No, anything but. They’re angrily anticipating it. They’re frustrated too, but mostly they’re hurt. Ace suddenly avoiding them like Aec is the plague like this, it hurts a lot more than they’d care to admit. Silas, enlisted as well, is stationed in the hallway, blocking access to the washroom and any other lockable space. Sylvie’s stationed in the living room, trying to act like everything’s fine and normal for when the guest of honour arrives. He pulls out his phone and checks the time. “Ten minutes,” Sylvie calls. Ten minutes doesn’t sound like a long time but Aec can;t think of an instance where time moved any slower than it is right now. In just ten measly minutes Ace will arrive and they can finally put an end to this ridiculous farce between the two of them. Just the thought of it has Aec’s hands shaking in anticipation. They want this to be over already and have their best friend back. “He’s here,” Sylvie informs only seven minutes later instead of ten. It's routine for Ace to overestimate his time of arrival to give himself some wiggle room without stressing about being late. A hush falls over the apartment as the sound of footsteps grows closer to the door. Then a quick knock. What was once excitement turns into anxious trepidation as Aec’s heart seizes to the sound of Sylvie opening the door. They thought they were ready, that they could handle this, but hearing Ace's casual, jovial greeting towards Sylvie has Aec’s throat closing up and their stomach twisting up in envious, painful knots. What changes tha Ace could no longer talk to Aec like that? “I’m glad you could make it, it’s been a while since we last hung out like this.” Sylvie smoothly leads Ace over to the couch. They sit and get comfortable. Sylvie has to ease Ace in first before giving the signal for Aec to come out and for Silas to actively block the hallway. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that,” Ace says lightly, not wanting to drag on the topic more. “But you’re here now! So, let’s chat.” Sylvie claps his hands. “I’ve been wondering something.” This is it. “What about?” Ace inquires naively. The curious, almost pure tone of Ace’s voice has Aec’s heart squeezing with the accompanying thought of he’s too cute.

“Well, Aec, really. What’s going on between you two?” Sylvie crashes right through the gate boldy. Ace doesn’t say anything right away and Aec can just imagine him hiding his face, twiddling his fingers in his lap while he tries to find the right words. “It’s . . . it’s nothing.” They’re disappointing if not expected words. Of course Ace isn’t going to disclose such sensitive information right away, even if he trusts Sylvie. “You’re sure?” Sylvie prompts gently. The signal is on the tip of his tongue. Aec crouches on the tiled floor, readying themself to act. Ace takes a deep breath, preparing himself. “Actually,” Aec’s nerves are tingling, their heart picking up the pace at the promise of a dramatic reveal. “Yeah?” Sylvie urges once more. “I’ve been avoiding them lately.” Ace finishes with a relieved sigh like he’d just let the biggest weight off of his chest. All the build-up in Aec crashes to a disappointed halt. “Why?” Sylvie feigns shock. “It’s hard to explain,” Ace confesses. It’s not much but it’s more than what Aec knew before at the very least. “Maybe you should try explaining anyway.” Aec isn’t sure if that’s the signal, in fact, they’re almost positive it isn’t but they find they don’t care, they move anyway, speaking up as they go. “Yeah, maybe you should, so I can fucking understand.” Immediately Ace is on his feet at the sound of Aec’s pissed-off voice and the sight of their equally pissed expression. “Aec! What—what are you—why are you—how long have you been here?” Sylvie heads for the door, locking it before Ace has the thought to leave. Silas almost comes into view, making himself as big and intimidating as he can to completely block the hallway. He doesn’t say anything and Ace can’t see him from where he’s standing. Aec crosses their arms, growing generously. “How long do you think?” It’s a rhetorical question with a heaping helping of sarcasm. When realization dawns on Ace, he looks accusingly at Sylvie, wordlessly asking if he planned this with them. Sylvie nods resignedly, leaning further back on the door. “So? Why have you been ignoring me?” Aec doesn’t let the conversation drag on or veer off-topic. Ace doesn’t say anything, too shell-shocked to speak. This only further aggravates Aec’s nerves. “Seriously?” Nothing to say? God, what the fuck is going on with you?” Aec lets their voice rise with the frustration and hurt bubbling over inside them. They don’t miss how Ace flinches slightly at the volume, his shoulders tensing up. He looks guilty now, staring at the floor with a forlorn gaze. When Ace shows he has nothing to say for himself and his actions, Aec prepares to shout once more but Sylvie recognizes the signal before Aec can follow through. “Aec,” he says calmly, if not paternally, “I know you’re upset and you have every right to be, but yelling at Ace won’t help. It’s not constructive.” In an instant, Aec feels hot with shame, their desire to shout curses at Ace now feeling like a capital offence. They back down like a properly scolded beast that was on the verge of attack. Sylvie, satisfied with the reaction, is glad he had the sense to quell Aec’s attack before it could start and do any lasting damage. He focuses on Ace from the door with a sympathetic look. “Now then,” Sylvie addresses Ace gently, still sounding paternal. Sylvie is the “mom friend” of the group, though “dad friend” might be more accurate. He usually shares the paternal roles with Ace, who could be considered the “mom friend”, but with Ace’s absence, Sylvie’s taken up both roles. “Is there anything you want to tell Aec? It’s clear they’re hurting right now.” Sylvie directs Ace like a teacher dealing with a silly dispute between grade-schoolers. It’s condescending but needed. Ace knots his hands together anxiously, unable to look up. He nods, it’s a promise to talk. Sylvie smiles encouragingly even though Ace isn’t looking. It takes time but Ace finally lifts his head and looks at Aec sorrowfully. “I’m sorry . . .” he whispers. An apology isn’t what Aec wants though. They want

an explanation, to know what happened, what they did. Aec grits their teeth, a glare forming. “Okay,” they spit carefully, “you’re sorry, great. But I need more than that. You just suddenly disappeared.” Aec keeps their voice level but doesn’t hide their anger. Ace doesn’t flinch like before, instead, his eyes start to water and his lip quivers. Normally, seeing Ace about to cry would immediately have Aec trying to comfort him but in this instance, Aec wants Ace to cry, to suffer because he should for all the grief he’s caused them. Ace quickly starts nodding, swiftly wiping his eyes before any tears spill. “You’re right—you’re ri—right. I’m—I’m sorry . . . I—I . . .” Ace’s stuttering words filled with remorse twinge at Aec’s heart, having them almost falter in their anger. Seeing how much this was also affecting Ace is eye-opening for Aec. They haven’t had a clue about how Ace was feeling about avoiding them. Ace tries to calm himself with simple breathing exercises and Aec patiently lets him, despite wanting answers immediately. It takes a few minutes before Ace looks composed enough to continue his thoughts, but he gets there all the same. He keeps his gaze low, still fidgeting with his hands. He finally opens his mouth to speak and Aec waits with bated breath, raw emotion bubbling under their skin. “Remember the last time we were together?” Aec nods, unable to figure out where Ace is going with this. The last time the two of them were together, it was a completely normal if not boring hangout. No lasting incident sticks out of Aec’s memory. The two of them had gone to see a movie and lunch. The movie was enjoyable, no masterpiece, but good. They’d gone to a small cafe for lunch. And ate pastries if Aec is remembering right. What happened that forced Ace to run away from them? “Remember how the cafe had a discreet little pride sticker?” Aec could vaguely picture it. They nod hesitantly, a sign for Ace to continue. “And how as we're were leaving, a few guys walked in talking about it, making homophobic comments and jokes?” This is news to Aec. Did that really happen? They don’t recall hearing anything like that. Truthfully though, Aec will admit they don’t notice the people around them when Ace is by their side. This is because no one matters more to Aec than their best friend, the unrequited love of their life for almost twelve years. Aec shakes their head, making their confusion on how that’s related to Ace avoiding them known. “No, I don’t remember that part, but why would some assholes being assholes make you run away from me?” Aec asks bluntly but with less fury in their voice than before. Ace pulls a dry smile like he’s disappointed but not surprised that Aec hasn’t figured it out yet. He finally lifts his head and looks at Sylvie. “I’m not going to run away, so can I talk to them alone?” he asks hopefully like it’s up to Sylvie to decide if he’s allowed privacy or not. Sylvie smiles and pushes himself off the door and walks past Ace with a soft pat on the shoulder. “Of course,” He disappears down the hallway, taking Silas with him, someone Ace hadn’t noticed was here. With Sylvie and Silas gone, everything suddenly feels so much more intense. Whatever it is Ace can only say to Aec alone it must be big because they both trust their friends almost as much as they trust each other. “So,” Aec says, “spit it out. What’s going on with you?” They step into the living room, wanting to be closer to Ace. They haven’t gotten this close to him for far too long. They find they’re not sure if they want to kiss Ace or hit him. It’s conflicting because on the one hand he’s severely hurt them and they’re rightfully furious, but on the other hand, Aec still loves Ace and they’ve missed their best friend beyond belief and to be in arms reach again is agonizing.

Ace doesn’t move despite Aec’s advance. That’s a good sign. He continues to fidget with his hands, staring at his shoes. Ace doesn’t answer the question right away, even though it looks like he’d been ready before when he asked Sylvie to leave. Instead, he chews on his lower lip and cheek restlessly. Aec doesn’t know what compels them, but they find they don’t fight the urge to let loose their deepest thoughts. “Alistair,” Aec says almost desperately. Ace stiffens at the full name treatment but doesn’t talk. “I don’t know what’s going on with you. You’re not talking to me at all. How can I help or—or fix anything if I don’t know what I did? What did I do?” They step even closer, every intention to make contact. Ace doesn’t move away at the threat of Aec touching him, he almost leans into it, which has Aec’s heart squeezing. Aec reaches out and places their hand on the side of Ace’s shoulder, the other reaching down and grabbing one of Ace’s hands, halting the fidgeting. Aec’s hand on Ace’s shoulder travels to Ace’s jaw, ducking their own head and finally catching Ace’s gaze. “Please,” they choke, hand squeezing Ace’s tightly, “just talk to me.” Aec’s voice wavers. They’re not someone who cries but right now their voice betrays them. And so is their heart. “. . . I love you.” What? Ace closes his eyes, starting to cry. Softly at first, but cries harder and harder with each second. He becomes incoherent, no longer talking, just sobbing Aec can only pull him into their arms, cradling his head in their shoulder, the other hand placed firmly on his back. Aec tries to decide what Ace could possibly mean by I love you and why it would tear Ace up to say it, why he’s crying so hard just saying it. They don’t ask for elaboration, not with Ace crying so hard. Aec merely holds Ace and waits for him to calm down and if they started humming softly the tune of a cherished childhood lullaby, well there’s no need to comment. Aec isn’t sure how long the two of them stood in Sylvie’s living room, Ace crying while they comfort him in their quiet way, but eventually, Ace calms down enough that Aec thinks they can finally continue talking. Aec leads the both of them over to the couch and sits Ace down before joining him. Ace is quickly wiping his eyes and nose ineffectively. “I’m sorry,” Ace whispers in a shaky voice. “What are you apologizing for now?” Aec asks, trying not to sound too rude. It’s an effort on their part. |Ace shakes his head, wiping his nose with the back of his once more, sniffling quietly. “For . . . for just—for everything . . . everything I’ve put you through lately.” Aec frowns, tilting their head. “You’ve already apologized for that. Stop,” they chastise Ace gently. Ace nods, wiping his eyes again as they continue to water. Aec reaches boldly for Ace’s free hand and grasps it tightly. Holding Ace’s hand like this is euphoric and Aec can feel all the fury in them just melting completely away, replaced with concern and joy at being so close to Ace again after so long apart. Aec catches gaze once more and holds it. “If you’re apologizing for everything, then are you also apologizing for saying you love me?” They don’t know where the courage to ask so clearly came from but Aec is grateful for it all the same. Ace shakes his head yes quickly, effectively shattering Aec’s heart with each shake. “Why?” Aec asks, their voice dropping to a whisper, threading to break as they feel their throat close up. “Because it’s wrong! I’m wrong! I shouldn’t feel this way.” Ace doesn’t shout but the intensity of his tone speaks volumes. Aec can feel themself getting swept up in the newfound intensity. “Why? Why shouldn't you? Why is it wrong?” Aec demands, feeling themself grow angrier and angrier. They’ve essentially been insulted by the most important person in their life. Why is it wrong of Ace to love them? Ace vigorously shakes his head, disagreeing despite nothing having been said to disagree with. Aec wants to scream, but they restrain themself, restricting themself to only talk in a

levelled tone. Shouting won’t help after all. “I’m supposed to like girls! Only girls! I can’t—I can’t be—I can’t be feeling this way about you. I just can’t.” Ace’s head falls into his hands, losing Aec’s grip. “That’s absolutely fucking ridiculous,” Aec deadpans, the intensely growing anger dying down to a simmer. Ace doesn’t react. So, Aec continues. “So What! So what if you don’t like girls? So what if you love me instead! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. Just look at me. If there’s something wrong with you, well then, I’m fucked.” Aec gives a sarcastic laugh, a mirthless smile. Ace stays still, still not reacting. He’s always been aware of Aec’s lack of cishet-ness. They’ve been out about their identity since they were old enough to comprehend as much. Aec almost sighs in defeat at the clear sign of their words having no effect. “Alistair.” It’s the second time in such a short period that Aec has used Ace’s real name. It’s a testament to how serious Aec is right now. Ace finally lifts his head and stares with glossy, red-rimmed doe eyes, the very same that Aec fell impossibly in love with. “I love you.” Ace’s eyes somehow grow even wider and Aec can’t help the little smile on their face. They reach and cup Ace’s jaw once again. A gentle caress of their thumb along his skin. Aec doesn’t move in to kiss Ace, the blatant internalized homophobia telling them Ace isn’t ready for something like that no matter how much they may want to gently kiss his pain away. “And it breaks my heart to see you like this.” Aec drops their head, eyeing Ace’s hands in his lap, smiling in disbelief at what they just said, shocked at their capability to say such vulnerable words without fucking up. “To see you so upset, hating yourself for how you feel, you whom I love so much.” Aec doesn’t know where the confidence comes from, to continue being so sappy and vulnerable. They’d never talk like this with anyone other than Ace. To hear Aec like this is a privilege only Ace has.

Ace takes a deep, wavering breath and to Aec’s surprise, grabs their hand with his, squeezing tightly. “I don’t know what to do,” he whispers. It’s a clear cry for help that Aec vows to answer. They return the gesture, squeezing Ace’s hand before lifting their head. Aec tries to smile as big as they can. It’s not very wide, but their eyes say all that’s needed. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you.” Aec leans in like they always do to comfort Ace, and gingerly kisses Ace’s forehead. Their lips linger just a second past pure comfort Ace and towards selfish desire on Aec’s part. They pull away when they gather their senses. They hold Ace’s gaze, conveying how serious they are with just a look, wanting Ace to know they mean every word. To Aec’s surprise again, Ace breaks into a quick sob, pushing his head down onto Aec’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?” They ask, bewildered now by Ace’s tears. Why would Aec comforting him like they always do make Ace cry again? The sobs turn into wet laughs, confusing Aec even further. “Just. Why are you so great? How can I—how can I not love you when you’re like this?” Oh. Aec can’t help the little smirk on their lips, the tensing from their shoulders relaxing. They pat Ace’s shoulder affectionately. “Jeez, you had me worried there.” Aec pulls Ace’s head away from their shoulder to look at him. Ace is laughing as he’s drying his eyes. To finally hear Ace's laugh is like finding an oasis in a desert and finally quenching an aching thirst with them. Aec just can't get enough of the melodic sound. As the moment passes and Ace quiets down, a tranquil silence falls over the two of them. They gaze into each other’s eyes in a very cheesy fashion. Now as much as Aec loves to stare at Ace’s face, they still have a few questions that need answering before they are satisfied. Aec sighs, breaking the moment, tilting their head to the side. “I still have a few questions,” they say, adopting their normal tone finally. Their naturally quiet, cold sort of tone of voice, even when they mean otherwise. Aec has to manually alter their tone to be more warm and approachable, even more so than most people would think, and they’ve been doing so since they said they love Ace. Ace immediately stiffens, his back straightening, shoulders rising. He nods as confidently as he can. “Okay,” Ace manages apprehensively. “Were you avoiding me because you were in denial?” Was running away from me your way of running away from yourself and your feelings?” It seems obvious as Aec asks, but they need absolute clarity from Ace anyway. He nods and that’s enough for them. “How long have you actually been feeling like this?” It’s not an important, necessary question, rather it’s a pretty invasive, probing question on Aec’s part. The thought of retracting their words comes too late and Ace is answering before Aec can say he doesn’t have to. Ace adverts his eyes to the floor, turning his head away. “A few months now, I think. It—it didn’t really sink in at first.” He chuckles wryly. “In fact, I was building the guts to talk to you about it. I was finally reaching a point where I thought maybe it was okay to feel like this but almost immediately after, I was reminded of the reason why I was struggling so much and why it’s wrong and I just couldn't handle it.” Ace flicks his eyes over to Aec warily, shamefully. “Or you.” Aec nods stonfeully. All the questions they had harboured all this time have finally been answered, some without them even asking outright. They thought once they knew why Ace was avoiding them, they’d feel better, but now that they’re here, Aec doesn’t feel as good as they thought they would. Maybe it’s because they’ve essentially been rejected? Ace did reject them right? “Where does this leave us then?” Aec asks, hiding the uncertainty and anxiety they’re feeling. Ace’s answer will make or break their relationship after all and from where Aec is standing, the odds aren’t in their favour. Ace fidgets, chewing his lip almost viciously. His eyes dart around the room frantically