#sortings

Well, he would clearly survive (or considering how often he almost dies, maybe that isn’t as clear). I think it’s more a matter of who Harry might become in that setting. Would it warp him? Make him cynical? Just make him miserable? I think Slytherin might draw out his less pleasant characteristics, whereas Gryffindor was always affirming his positive characteristics. And even if Harry didn’t adapt Slytherin characteristics, living in that house might have just added a lot more challenges to Harry’s plate when he was already dealing with so many. Would he adapt to the house? Or would he end up a pariah? Would there be no where he felt safe? Slytherin requires nuance and measured thinking, and Harry is often at his best when he is acting and feeling and not thinking things through. Thoughtfulness and stillness become places for brooding and getting mired down in all the shit he’s been through. I really think the bright energy and camaraderie of Gryffindor is exactly what Harry needed to keep to his core values AND to survive the challenges of being The Chosen One.

I was already writing a post on how I would Sort the characters into Hogwarts houses when I got this question, so I hope you don’t mind that I’ll insert it here! Because I’m lazy.

Nick Miller, Nick Miller from the streets of Chicago, Hufflepuff

He’s very loyal and caring to his friends and those around him; customers at the bar, his family in his childhood. He is/was very protective of Schmidt when it came to Gavin, and is always there for his friends when they are down; e.g. Tinfinity, Menzies, Relaunch

Also I don’t think he fits into the other houses. Hufflepuff takes those who aren’t Sorted into other houses (probably should have put that above).

I wouldn’t Sort him into Gryffindor because I don’t consider him inherently brave. I think that he only tends to act or make big decisions (e.g. Cooler, Virgins, Elaine’s Big Day, Five Stars for Beezus) when he thinks it’s the last chance or if he’s not thinking.

Neither is he cunning or ambitious for Slytherin; he’s become more ambitious in the later seasons but I certainly don’t consider it a defining trait.

As for Ravenclaw, I was actually considering it but decided against it. Reason being, I think that Nick does have his own brand of intelligence and thinking, like Luna Lovegood. In the end however, Luna believes in the unknown and the unseen; she is clever, insightful, and observational — she just thinks there is more to know, and seeks to find out what, which is why she has all these absurd-sounding theories. She values learning. Nick, on the other hand, doesn’t really want to learn more than he has to and is stubborn in his thinking.

Jess, Ravenclaw

She’s a smart know-it-all and always has been: she taught Cece when they were children, and by now has imparted knowledge on hundreds of kids

She really values learning as a teacher. Teaching is her passion. She chooses teaching over a higher-paying job at a museum.

She is a quick thinker: she gets Holly to stay and sets her up with Nick in True American (Cooler); she manages to get employed at Banyon Canyon despite the Sam-ex-debacle by use of a Feelings Farm (Sam Again); distracts Sam from ‘proposing’ to her with True American (Wedding Eve)

Also I wouldn’t Sort anyone else into Ravenclaw and like in the name of House unity and stuff we want the whole collection ya know

Cece, Gryffindor

She’s quite brave, or as she likes to put it, ‘doesn’t think through her decisions’

But she’s pretty fearless and headstrong and just does stuff. She goes with her instinct. She became a bartender because she thought ‘why not’ and said yes to Schmidt’s unexpected proposal because it felt right, even though they weren’t even in a relationship

Like she became a model, which isn’t the most stable job and has had to pose with birds and climb onto rockets and shiz

Schmidtty, Slytherin

I would bet my life savings on Schmidt definitely being in Slytherin. He is the epitome of Slytherin.

He’s cunning in getting people to buy stuff as he works in advertising marketing

The Captain was sneaky and clever and cunning as hell

He is really ambitious and strives to be at the top. Up until Prince he had been waiting along for better friends because ‘this can’t be the finish line’, and he has been steadily climbing the ranks in his corporate job for years

He’s also ambitious in that because he wants to be at the top, he buys premium stuff

Winston, Huffle the puff

He’s just a friendly, sweet, and kind dude who has pure intentions. He almost bought a boat because he wanted to help Aly’s sister and thinks dropping a badger on a priest is a good prank.

Behind the weirdness is thoughtfulness: he dresses up as a bobcat because

Look at how he treats Furguson

He shares Furguson with his neighbour because he’s a fair person

He works hard at what he does, whether it’s being a cop or extremely elaborate proposal plans

Coach, Gryffindor

Like Cece, he goes with his instinct and never doubts it in life-changing decisions

He becomes ‘Coach’ because the players on Winston’s basketball team were doing badly so he stood up and shouted instructions to them

He becomes a coach because it seems like the right thing to do

After The Pilot he moves to be with his girlfriend

He moves to be with May only a few months into their relationship

This has been sitting in the drafts for like months because I was like “I want to be serious about this” but the song is a LITERAL shit post oh my god hahahaha

So 

Yoda: Slytherin

Luke: Ravenclaw

Please give me more BLR sortings I’m laughing so much!

Requested by @thesilencedlovers (please, please, please keep these requests coming!)

Cathy is someone I’ve thought about a lot in terms of her House, and I’m eternally torn between Hufflepuff and Slytherin. But there can only be one, and here we go then…

It is undeniable that Cathy works hard - even when Jamie can be supporting her, she is working crappy jobs and continuing to keep on going because she knows what she wants and has her heart set on it. A Slytherin’s ambition - we also see this in I Can Do Better Than That, where she is so clearly sure of her dream and is willing to put the work in to get it.

At the same time though, this is the hard work and dedication of a Hufflepuff. She’s not afraid to put in the elbow grease and to keep on going, and she is the same way about her relationship with Jamie. Just look at See I’m Smiling - she’s sure things will all be okay, if only they put the work in. She’s mad that he isn’t putting in the effort required, she is certain that if they only hammered away at it that she wouldn’t have to lose him. She is loyal to him through everything, even during Still Hurting, when she is heartbroken after everything he’s done and how he’s left, she still sings for him to come back. She holds faith, trust and dedication to what she was sure was going to be the rest of her life.

It’s Cathy’s loyalty and dedication that convince me that she’s a Hufflepuff. Her Slytherin tendencies come primarily from her ambitious career goals and the work she puts in to get that, but beyond her career Cathy also works hard in her relationship. She applies her willingness to put the work in to everything she does and cares about, and she is very loyal to Jamie, even as she fights him she holds the belief that they can work through it.

So Cathy Hiatt is officially in the ranks of my precious Hufflepuff ladies, and while we’re on the topic she deserved ten thousand times better than how things worked out.