#sorting help

That's fair. 'System' is a word I only use in the context of Bird primaries, so I just use it less.

A 'performance' is acting. You know you're 'pretending' while you do it, you don't do it while you're by yourself. Like 'customer service face' - that's a performance. (Kind of an exaggerated perky Badger performance.)

A 'model' is an additional primary or secondary you teach yourself how to use because it's fun, it's useful, it's cool, it's a coping mechanism, it's culturally required. It goes deeper than a performance and becomes 'part' of you more. You probably do keep using it while alone. Like to keep up the Badger example, there is a sort of "Good Parent" Badger secondary model a lot of people think is either useful or required. BUT... if it becomes necessary, or if you don't have the extra bandwidth... you can and will drop your model.

Sorted by whom?

Sounds like you’re a Hufflepuff. 💛🤷‍♂️

In the end, you’re the only one who gets to decide.

Begin the nerd rant. So first, I’ll explain why I’m so torn up about this.

Recently, I went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (TM) in Florida and hOLY CRAP. But the point that it was AWESOME and I ALMOST CRIED is not the main point. Main point is, this gal KNEW she was gonna get some house colors, you know what I’m saying? So, I had to know FOR SURE which Hogwarts house I identified with the most before I spent upwards of 40 dollars on a sweatshirt (there was A PERFECT REPLICA OF THE SWEATERS THE QUIDDITCH PLAYERS WEAR AND WOW WAS I TEMPTED but unfortunately exact replicas cost more than one of my textbooks, plus I was afraid I wouldn’t give it the use it deserved etc. etc.). 

So, I did a lot of thinking and decided it was Hufflepuff. I was a ‘Poof. So I went on down and bought my sweater and my Fleur Delacour wand and drank some heckin butterbeer and LIVED MY LIFE. 

It was all dandy after I got back, up until this moment. I rediscovered the fact that you can find out your Patronus on Pottermore and of course, I forgot my last password so I made a new account and had to take the tests again (by the way my Patronus is a St. Bernard and :’) ). 

I got Ravenclaw for my Hogwarts house, which I wasn’t really surprised by because I’ve always been only slightly more ‘Poof than ‘Claw. And I got Thunderbird for my Ilvermorny house, which EXCITED me, cause I’ve always gotten Pukwudgie (with Thunderbird right behind) and I haven’t really identified with it. 

But, since I like to be completely right on whatever I do/say (I never really thought about myself as a perfectionist, but...), I began to, one, get very frustrated that I’d gotten Ravenclaw rather than Hufflepuff and over the possibility that I’d misjudged myself, and two, become very uneasy over the fact that I still share a lot of qualities with Pukwudgie and I don’t want to lie to myself, even if I don’t like the truth.

Fantasy world, yes, but also childhood. Stick with me folks.

So, I began self-analyzing. Here are my findings regarding which traits I share with the houses and which I do not, if you care to read them.

Hufflepuff: Not patient, or particularly down-to-earth. Kind (I value kindness the most, which should be a dead giveaway but it’s not, you know?), loyal, hard-working. Protective, honest. MINI RANT: People think ‘Poofs are pure beans, which we are, but dang I’ll challenge anyone who intends to hurt others, or is being ignorant, or selfish, or cowardly-- include myself y’all, and I’ll never back down from a challenge, even if it’s a passive aggressive, indirect challenge. Trouble is, I don’t know if this is a ‘Poof trait or not. ALSO, I’m an INFP, also known as Introverted As Heck, so ‘Poofs can be introverts. 

Ravenclaw: Witty, eccentric. Open-minded, curious, clever, desires knowledge, but only the knowledge I want to study. Dreamer, creative. 

I don’t know as much about the Ilvermorny houses, but here goes.

Thunderbird: Adventurous-- I would love nothing more than a good adventure --but it’s hard for me to get started/know where I want to adventure. I’m soulful, but I don’t really identify with it. I’m very temperamental though.

Pukwudgie: I AM ALL ABOUT HEART (for instance, my heart wants me to adventure-- you see my problem?). Heart is who I am, but I’m not a healer in the medical sense. I’ll try my best in emergency situations, but I am Not the person anyone should seek out in emergencies. I take care of all my people emotionally the best I can, and I will always try my best to give new people a chance. The reason I’m so opposed to being in this house is cause of the origin story J.K. gave us for Ilvermorny, in which I don’t like the Pukwudgie, and even though it’s said the creators’ personalities shaped the houses, I don’t know if I want to be represented by the Pukwudgie. I’m sounding more and more like a Pukwudgie as I keep talking. 

The problem I have with all this is, like I said, I’m a perfectionist and I don’t like to sort myself into ‘Huffleclaw’, or one of those mixed houses. 

Anyway, writing this has brought up some new points for me, so #nerdrantdone

Generally I would say your secondary is whatever makes you feel powerful. Another way of looking at it is - whatever method seems easiest. Like if you feel like you're almost *cheating,* you're probably using your secondary.

There are people who have a model that is just really fun to live in, but when things get *serious* they bring out what they consider to be the Big Guns. I don't see that in fiction as much as I would like, but Spike from Buffy prefers to live in his Lion secondary (for fun) - but when he has to actually problem solve for real... he clicks into his Bird.

(he might additionally have a Snake underneath the Bird, or he may just flip back over into Lion if a plan is going well, I'd need to revist the show to be sure.)

From your description, it seems like it might be good to unpick why you feel the way you do about Snake secondary. It's totally possible you feel slimy about using it because it sadly doesn't have the best cultural reputation (and Bird has a way better one.) Or it's possible that it feels false because it is false, but it's something you feel like you're *supposed* to do. Like if you have a parent who's a loud Snake secondary or something.

Its: what calms you down when you are afraid?

For me, i need to have a plan of what to do next. I don't even have to act on it, just knowing that there are steps to take that will slowly resolve or explain the situation make me feel better, which is so extremely bird that I dont know why I didnt realize it sooner.

But I know other people handle calming down differently. Some people want to talk about their fears, some people want to be hugged and told it's all right, and some people want to get up and do something to quiet the fear. I cant make them all neatly line up with the secondaries, since I always revert back to reframing things from a bird mindset (talking about your fears helps to understand them, doing things to fix the fear is executing your plan, etc) but I really like this approach and it made things clear for me

Have a lovely day!

This is absolutely lovely, and I agree with everything here. 

A Lion is going to want to do something, anything. A Snake... I think a Snake is going to want to go out, interact with the world a bit until a new idea or approach comes to them. A Bird is going to want to lay things out. And a Badger... is going to want to talk to someone. Bounce themselves off someone. 

You made me think of a time I’d forgotten. I was having a really bad dark night of the soul. It was two in the morning... but I texted every person in my phone, and asked if they were okay to talk for a little while. I got one person in an Uber on the way to an afterparty, and I got one person in um. England. But you know what, it worked. I wasn’t afraid afterwards.  I get into these really bad recursive imput loops when it’s just me.

Is there a way we can tell the difference, or do some people just walk the fine line between Snake and Bird secs? (Asking this both for myself and a character I’m trying to Sort)