A little blasphemy for today
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A little blasphemy for today

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Sorlato Headcanons
My mouth hurts from wisdom teeth extraction, I have plenty of wips and cosplay stuff to do and I’m looking for Sorbet and Gelato food. Let’s go! Let’s go with serious and no serious discussion about their dynamic now! This also talks about some mental disorder depiction, suggestive talk and references the possibility of SH so theres that.
These two have several pet names for each other. Consisting of-
Moonpie, Sorbetto, Baby, Moondrop, Turtle dove, Tesoro(Gelatos towards Sorbet)
Sunshine, Amore Mio, Sleeping Beauty, Honey Bee, Minx, Caro (Sorbets towards Gelato)
Gelato will constantly check up on Sorbet when he has episodes where he’s refusing to leave their room, sometimes he’ll lash out though he won’t mean to and will apologize afterwards. But Gelato doesn’t mind the mess or the fact that he’ll just want to sit there and listen to the ceiling fan, he just gets worried and makes sure he’s taking care of himself. Putting away any thing that is sharp or has bullets to be on the safe side though Sorbet never has shown signs of hurting himself and leaving a path for them to walk in, they’ll always be later where they can clean up the excessive mess together.
Sorbet makes sure that whenever they are going out, Gelato isn’t overstimulated. They’ll go in places where it’s quiet and that they can just be by themselves, he knows he’s capable of roaming around louder spaces but it’s hard for him to struggle to cope when he’s taking everything all at once. There has been times where he’s tried scratching his arms when it’s too hot to wear his jacket and it hits him, but Sorbet always carries bubblegum to resist that urge
Prior to La Squadra, they ended up doing murder sprees that were burglaries to simulate home invasion. Sorbet would steal what he wanted and Gelato got treated by him by keeping them. Their favorite pieces being these silver and gold rings they placed on their fingers , Gelato wearing Sorbets silver and Sorbet wearing Gelatos gold.
They enjoy cuddling after intimacy, the sex is mind blowing but it’s the caressing and affection they touch with their bodies that brings them closer. Looking into each others eyes and holding each other close like they are unable to let go as their heartbeats ring from their ears, they couldn’t ask for anything else.
The rest of Passione doesn’t know about their relationship but La Squadra definitely knows, it happens all the time and Gelato claimed the one seat for them. The amount of time each member has found out varies.
They enjoy a lot of activities in and out of work together but painting each others nails takes the cake above anything else. Doing manicures and selecting which polishes would suit the both of them is the highlight of their love language. It’s them saying “I adore and cherish you “
Sorbet and Gelato have their differences but what sets them apart of couples where their personalities clash is they are willing to discuss and compromise, disagreeing on something isn’t the end of the world and you can’t hide parts of yourself you don’t like. If anything, talking about it creates an understanding of what the other is thinking and it forms a bond that strengthens each time.
Gelato loves Sorbet because he can’t read him easily like he can with most people. That unpredictability keeps him guessing and wanting more, nothing about him is boring even if he started as an average guy. The same average guy who was the first to treat him like a person.
Sorbet loves Gelato because of how much he’s full of surprises. He is manipulative and calculating, putting on a facade to trick his murder victims into trusting him by using his disadvantages as tools. But yet despite it all, he remained gentle and kind towards him, a fellow cunning man.
Gelato only feels safe enough to talk to Sorbet when they are completely alone and never stops talking, it’s music to Sorbets ears and he never wants to hear him stop. The way his tone of voice calls his name and explains things he has knowledge of turns him to mush on the spot.
Sorbet isn’t afraid to be overly emotional with Gelato, he’s seen him through better and worse and there’s no backing down on expressing how he feels. Gelato likes to think of him like an adorable puppy because of it and starts to try conquering his fear of dogs.
Each of them has photos and paintings of each other within their room and the house, admiring their depictions and memories they cherish within their bones.
They wear each others jewelry and clothes, mostly Gelato wearing Sorbets shirt at night and in the early morning while Sorbet feels the warmth of Gelatos coat as he lays down.
i had a vision a few weeks ago does this make sense
I’m not sure if you know, but apparently the new la squadra novel revealed the personalities of sorbet and gelato, and it’s suprisingly the opposite of their fanon personalities
What do you think?
Oooh, interesting! I just saw this, so I'm sorry if this response was slow, but thank you so much for sending me this!
I have not read the novel, and I will be honest, because of the nature of my work, I am not much of a reader for fun nowadays and probably won't read it, but!
On the one hand, it's an interesting thing to see - sort of subverting expectations based on their character designs in a way, because Gelato's outfit is way more "military" to me than anything about Sorbet. And there are some fun details here, like the sweets and such, I'll give them that. Who wrote the novel by the way? I'm guessing that one is not Araki's doing, but was he involved in any way, like coming up with the characterization?
On the other hand, I was not impressed by those character sheets. They have Stand but we can't tell you what it is! I laughed, honestly, I just guffawed, that feels like such a weird cop-out. I swear if they just left out that part about Stands, it would have been better to me personally, but with those caveats of undisclosed Stands added, I just laughed, I couldn't take any of it seriously afterwards. Plus, I feel like their being fleshed out is coming in so late and in such a roundabout way - especially after all the no homo disclosures in previous material - that I will chose to ignore this new characterization altogether and just stick to what I made up because I enjoy that better. Part of the magic with these two was that you could tell they were basically married and you were free to fill in all the blanks their sad and short narrative left behind, and fans have been allowed that range for so long that I would be surprised if anyone worth their characterization salt just threw out their previous interpretations in favor of this. Bringing over elements? Maybe, but honestly, I find this less compelling than what I personally had (and obviously, it is way less queer as well, which is something I will NOT compromise on. Canon and pseudo-canon can pry drag queen Sorbet from my cold dead hands.)
All in all, I appreciate you sending this and it's interesting to look at, but it definitely did not make me want to read the novel... welp. What about you all? Are you excited for the novel / do you like the characterizations?
(Disclaimer on not being much of a reader: I'm a translator, and I just finished a five-month workload where I basically read and reread the same text dozens of times from original language version to target language version, and it drains me so much that reading for pleasure in my free time nowadays is only doable through audio books because text will MELT in front of my eyes when my brain has had enough. Because of this I am behind on every single thing I care about that involves reading texts. It would take a hyperfixation and me absolutely starving for content on that front to beat the brain fog, and right now I don't see that in the cards for me...)
"Who's Hotter?" Pride Month Event: Fanon Shipping Wars JoJo's Bizarre Edition
Who's Hotter?
Prosciutto & Risotto Nero
Ghiaccio & Melone
Formaggio & Illuso
Gelato & Sorbet
Cioccolata & Secco
Tizzano & Squalo

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Now that I aired my most controversial thoughts here’s my wholesome riso headcanons
Sorbet and Gelato were the ones to introduce Risotto to Passione so he has major respect for them. Also Risotto’s home life was uh. Shitty. So Gelato basically decides “you’re our son now” and Sorbet agrees <:)
Ghiaccio gets confused by Risotto’s wording in his orders a lot because Riso has a habit of throwing in Sicilian phrases that don’t translate well to Italian
Okay so this is basically solely going off some shaky knowledge of Sicilian names from questionable websites but apparently Rosario is a Sicilian name and regardless of veracity, I like to imagine Secco is Sicilian because like. Fucking imagine: La Squadra meeting Secco and everyone’s freaked out as Secco growls and snarls and barks and barely speaks broken Italian and Risotto just goes “!!! That accent!! Tu sicilianu?” And Secco’s entire face lights up and they have a full conversation in perfect Sicilian. The Squadra fucking look between this giant goth man with black sclera and this dirt gremlin on all fours with hypermobility and an unnaturally long tongue wondering what the FUCK is going on in Sicily
Risotto isn’t actually as serious as he seems! Mans just autistic af (and cmon. We only see risotto in very emotional, intense, and stressful scenes. Who’s to say that he can’t be a little silly when not in unimaginable grief)
Not a headcanon but I just realized babymetal would be a good ship name for Melone and Risotto and isn’t that just fun? Like that ship name itself is adorbs
Risotto like bunny rabbits. Listen I know im biased but just imagine Risotto’s little hat with bunny ears attached. Fucking cute enough to kill a mf
Vento Aureo takes place in the scene era. Listen. Risotto’s hat gets destroyed somehow and he’s all sad and Formaggio decides to cheer him up by FUCKING GETTING HIM ONE OF THOSE ANIMAL HATS WITH THE BUILT IN PAW MITTENS
Risotto. Fucking. Loves it.
Much to Prosciutto’s UTTER DISMAY he absolutely REFUSES to take the hat off
Once Risotto asks Formaggio to meet with him privately and naturally Formaggio is internally freaking out because Risotto just always looks so fucking serious but then they get to another room and Risotto bends down to scoop up Formaggio’s cat before turning and with a dead straight face goes “Gnocchi was sad because you didn’t let him into your room last night.”
Ok im done for now
they are so real