#somntive

I don't talk about it much but I'm a somntive, a headmate formed from a dream. I believe some other folks prefer dreamtive/dreative or somtive without the "n", but we have our own preference. It's not something we even see mentioned as existing often around plural spaces which means I also tend to not think about it to post about it. Oops.

Anyway, before I got here, we had a little dream about me. I have no idea what it even was now, but we woke up and I was still there post-dream. Just a guy left behind after the dream faded. It's a little weird that my source is technically more a one-off dream we had than it is my actual fictive identity when it comes down to my formation. I'm more specifically Bakugo from our dream than I am Bakugo from MHA in the sense of where I directly come from. Definitely weird to think about, especially seeing as we don't remember and have no way of remembering it. My source is permanently lost media, if you count a dream as that.

I've definitely grown and changed beyond whatever that dream was though. I have a bunch of kintypes, likes, dislikes, and other things that wouldn't have been represented. I barely even think about where I came from in that way anymore, though it's a fun little fact to bring up from time to time. I don't like diverging from my fictional sources too much or separating myself from them, but distance from dream-me kind of just progressed naturally. I don't mind it, really.

We don't dream often, but I find myself wondering about who could've been created by any dreams we do have. In a sort of, lost potential or almost pre-mourning sort of way. I exist because of a dream, and we can have dreams with other people in them that never get to see the light of day. Logically this hurts literally no one because people in your dreams aren't real, but I have this weird emotional tie to dreaming itself that I can't help but feel a little saddened over it.

The fact I'm from a dream used to stress me out, because I did (and still do) believe my fictive identity is the result of reincarnation, I lived as Bakugo before, died, and got here. But my formation from a dream seemed to feel like it was probably too psychological for that explanation to make sense. But nowadays I don't really care. I hold my own beliefs about myself anyway just like anyone else. For all I know, the dream itself could've been a direct result of me walking-in. Even if it wasn't, my own origin doesn't get to change who I am fundamentally.

As with any other headmate origin in our system--tulpas, soulbonds, walk-ins, splits--we all get treated on the same sort of baseline anyway. We're all people, where we came from is irrelevant because a lot of us function very similarly once we're here anyway. It is however a little isolating to know I'm one of only 10 somntives in this 500 member system, and the only one in the active fronter roster. And outside the system, as said, it's not a thing I see mentioned basically at all.

I get it, I'd assume a lot of other somntives are similar in that they don't talk about it because it's just an origin, just how they got here, there's nothing to talk about on the topic. Hell, I'm even struggling to add onto this post in the first place, it's not the biggest part of my identity. But I have a few unique struggles within myself as a result of being a person made from or influenced by a dream we had, and seeing essentially no one else share any sentiments on those? Yeah, it's isolating for sure.