#somethingawful

` ` You look quite divine tonight

...

AND HE’S NOT ALONE!!!

|

Make sure to buy him an (ex) lover to keep him company!!!

Don’t want an agent of chaos in your room?

Get him in human form too!

I’m a little late but it’s okay

Probably part 1 because I have so many headcanons for them oh my god- (not even just them as a couple but them on their own as well) Buckle in gang, this is gonna be Long. Somebody sedate me, they're so---😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

SFW Headcanons

⦻ THE royal power couple. Zalgo being the King of Hell, and the primordial God of Chaos, Madness, and Insanity, is already powerful enough on his own. Add in his husband (or 'mate' in demon culture), a powerful Eldritch being and the God of Order? They're practically unstoppable.

⦻ Really, the universe should be grateful they're so in love. I mean, they kinda already have to work together to keep reality running (because purely Order or purely Chaos would be a shitshow). Basically, they're like yin and yang. Can't have one without the other.

⦻ Slenderman is Zalgo's order, his peace, usually the voice of reason, able to cut through his ever-chaotic thoughts and make him settle for a little while. Zalgo is Slenderman's chaos, ever unpredictable, pulling him away from work to take a break, to let loose and have some fun.

⦻ Also THE yapper x listener couple. Usually it's Zalgo who is yapping about anything and everything and Slenderman just listens, occasionally chiming in. But sometimes, Zalgo can get Slenderman to talk for hours, and it's the highlight of his week.

⦻ They both adore the sound of each other's voice. Zalgo's voice is deep and warm, like a comforting fire, tinted with a hint of mania. Slenderman's voice is slightly less deep, more static-y, and there's a rasp that reminds Zalgo of the turning of pages in an old book.

⦻ Zalgo talks more casually (something his parents hated and tried to 'fix', since they found it unbecoming for a demon of his status. It didn't work), while Slenderman talks in a more archaic way.

⦻ (For example, where Zalgo would say 'don't', Slenderman would say 'do not'; or 'gonna' and 'going to').

⦻ Slenderman's petnames for Zalgo are (my) love, darling, beloved, (my) dear, and my Chaos, and Zal.

⦻ Zalgo's petnames for Slenderman are dearest, my flame, my spark, (my) love, my Order, (my) mate, Slender and Slen.

⦻ Zalgo's love languages are physical touch, quality time, and gift-giving.

⦻ Slenderman's love languages are acts of service, quality time and words of affirmation.

⦻ Zalgo can usually be found touching Slenderman in some way. Either leaning on his shoulder, draped over his back, lacing their hands, or his tail wrapped around his waist.

⦻ Slenderman pretends to begrudgingly accept this. Deep down, he loves it - it makes him feel wanted, since it's a very instinctual thing for Zalgo to do.

⦻ Slenderman reciprocates by wrapping a tendril around Zalgo - arm, hip, waist, or leg, depending on how 'proper' he's feeling and who else is around.

⦻ Zalgo adores it when Slenderman brings him tea and little snacks while he works - he know his mate worries about him overworking himself and that this is his quiet way of making sure Zalgo takes care of himself.

⦻ Zalgo LOVES to shower Slenderman in gifts. He scours the worlds for rare books, tomes, and scrolls to give to his beloved. And jewellery, too - gold with precious gemstones (relevant to my au hehehe). He knows Slenderman isn't big on wearing jewellery (besides their wedding band and for formal events) but it soothes his instincts.

⦻ After a long day at work, they love to retreat to the peace and quiet of their at-home (castle, really) library.

⦻ Adding onto that, I am adopting @slenderzalgogoonerr 's headcanon that Zalgo is dyslexic and has dyscalculia. Because, you know, God of Chaos and all. And if there's one thing that has rules and order, it's words and math. Ew.

⦻ Meaning that during those quiet evenings, Zalgo likes to put his head on Slenderman's lap while Slenderman reads to him. A bonus is when Slenderman runs his hand through his hair.

⦻ Occasionally, Zalgo will give Slenderman a shoulder massage. Slenderman melts every time.

⦻ While Zalgo loves to listen to Slenderman talk, Slenderman loves it when Zalgo hums or even sings. Zalgo usually hums beneath his breath when he's focussing, but he occasionally sings to Slenderman. Often when it's just the two of them in the ballroom or in a clearing in the forest and they're slow dancing.

⦻ They've been going strong for millennia! Top notch communication skills (although they're not without their petty moments).

⦻ This is, in part, due to Slenderman having his own mansion, in the middle of the forest, to retreat to when all the royal stuff (or Zalgo) gets too insane. He needs his peace and quiet!! Or he'll just murder the Court one day lol. He has no idea how Zalgo can stand the lot.

⦻ (A lot of dissociation, usually. Or selective hearing. Or both.)

⦻ Zalgo knows his mate is more introverted than he is, and tries to give him space whenever he needs it.

⦻ Another part of it is them accepting each other's little quirks, having known each other for so long that it's almost expected. And going on regular date nights!

⦻ Ruling a kingdom is stressful, so they usually help each other with stress relief. With the quiet evenings in the library, for example. Or by sparring, taking a nice, long bath, walking in a forest, or cuddles in bed.

NSFW Headcanons (18+)

Shitposting is so much fun

You may remember me if you've ever followed any SlenderZalgo tag in existence.

It's me Madam! Or, according to @/h0ll0wt0wn, simply just 'Gooner'...I guess now I'm 'Lover'? Nah, Gooner's just more my brand. My accounts randomly got terminated and I'm waiting for them to come back. If Tumblr responds and I get my accounts back, THIS WILL BECOME AN ARCHIVE / ALT!

Currently, @grandconspiracycomic is unable to be accessed right now due to side blog issues. I'm working on that too! If it doesn't come back, then I'll have to make a whole other account. Yay!

I'm your spokesperson for this rarepair and my job is not only to recruit you BUT to spread the gospel of this wonderful, over hated rarepair.

SPREAD THE WORD! IT'S ME AND I'M BACK BABY! With a less inappropriate username because yeah there's a chance that's the reason I got terminated.

SlenderZalgo headcanon: