#soccer dr

to preface, i’ve been shifting for 5 years and have shifted once. (it was a while ago, and i said my safe word within a few minutes because it was a weird version of my dr)

okay! so last night, i had my “click”. i saw a tiktok of this girl just talking about how you don’t FEEL anything when you shift. as someone who’s only shifted/minishifted during asleep methods, i was confused. but then i realized, like as we know, shifting is your awareness changing. and we also know that uyour senses are not reliable. like even if you FEEL your bed, you could be in your dr. so this was my “click”, i connected the two and realized it made sense.

fast forward to when i lay down, i just keep repeating that concept to myself while visualizing where i’ll wake up in my dr when i shift. i fall asleep, and when i wake up i don’t open my eyes (for wtv reason). and although in this reality my back is facing my window when i sleep, in my dr it’s the opposite. so if i shifted my face would be facing the window. i wake up, and i can FEEL the sun shining down on me. it was so warm bro😭 my bed felt different as well.

but to wrap up, sadly i opened my eyes and was here. (btw the window facing my back had the curtains shut, so it couldn’t even be that)

Born in Russia’s winter, I met him first on the ice, both of us too stubborn to yield. Hockey gave us a language; later, football gave me another - but he remained my translation. I left for Finland, for Italy, for european stadiums. he crossed to America, to the brightest lights of the NHL. We should’ve lost each other in the airports, in the miles, in the years. We didn’t.

We survived on phone calls, letters, summers stolen, winters pressed into days. he kept my picture in his phone; I kept his number like a prayer. people think we are best friends, or teammates past their time - but really, we’ve been in love for half our lives.

Oceans, borders, different sports, different lives - none of it stopped us. We are the echo across distance, the laughter over bad wi-fi, the grin when his name crosses my screen. It’s ridiculous. It’s obvious. It’s ours.