#so intelligent

And SUPER LOVE HIS HALF UPDO. So so so pretty and cute! Aaargh, I just had my hair cut. Otherwise I really really want to try that style.

And his smiles in Japan concerts! Soooooo beautiful and bright, happiness personified! I find myself smiling when watching his fan cams.

And his RS interview! Thankful that finally we have an interviewer who asked abt his achievements, both in music and military service. I love how humble yet real he is.

I think I prefer to have them interviewed one on one. Because when they are together, some members will always be louder or more opinionated. And it is hard, I imagine, for an interviewer to really focus on each member that way.

Surprised to find out what 'They Don't Know About Us' really about. Made me really think. Being an idol means you paint a perfect picture abt yourself. A picture that caters most of your fans (and future fans)' ideas about perfection. Thus, they will idolize you. Because they find what they are looking for in you.

Along the way, some fans will really look deeeper (maybe find some cases when you don't act like they thought you should). Some will accept those 'negative' points since they realize that you are human being, just like them. And maybe keep supporting you, but only your musical or entertainment side. Some will see who you 'really' are, tho only based on whatever information they get, and still love and support you.

But some cannot and will not accept them. They have decided that you are their perfect idol. And since they still want to idolize you, they will find some and any excuse on why you act a certain way. And I imagine this part must be very frustating. You want to grow, and by growing you will do some changes and make mistakes. You learn from them, and be 'better'. You grow.

But when you feel that you are not allowed to make "mistakes"; and that even the definition of "mistakes" are pushed by the fans, how powerless you must feel.

Jimin always has very high standarts for his art, his job, his tasks. And he is always grateful for his fans, he knows he can make it this big because of us. Thus this 'weak' feeling he mentioned (I think) because he feels trapped between wanting to please his fans and wanting to grow and change.

I hope he can find some balance, where he feels ok to let go some of his fans' approvals, and chasing his dreams, his desire, and achieve his biggest potential. To leave no stone unturned.

And I pray for the same thing for myself and all of us. The courage to walk into our own calling. We have people who will only walk with us through one or maybe some seasons only. And that is ok, we value them, grateful for them, but maybe the season has changed. We need to go on, or they need to go on, so we seprate. And we accept the fact.

But we are also blessed with some that will walk with us until the end, like our spouses. Those are the ones who we will work harder to make sure that our goals and development will align with theirs.

I am rambling all over the place, as always.