#snzcanons

- long fits that will take like. a minute or two to finish. the metros have timed him before

- usually somewhere around eight to twelve sneezes for a natural fit !!

- so that's like. maybe a sneeze every seven seconds?

- hella buildups. like, jesus christ. there’s pretty much no recovery between sneezes, he gets through one and immediately starts hitching again

- will genuinely try to hold a conversation through a fit because hayden is AWARE they take a while and he doesn't want to waste time

- most people will tell him to shut up (affectionately)

- if it's an actual allergy fit, however, there is genuinely no telling when it'll end. could be in a minute, could be in thirty.

- spaced-out singles

- somewhat wet sneezes. i imagine it more as like. from the mouth??? which is disgusting but you know what i mean? there's just a decent amount of spray okay.

- doesn't actually have dad sneezes but gets teased about having them all the time because. you know. four children, so what tf do you mean he sneezes like a dog (not too loud but a little violent physically)

- curls forward a bit with every sneeze

- stifles but only selectively. in the locker room he doesn't really care and he didn't do it much as a kid, but does for interviews and jackie

- so horrifically allergic to cattails (the reeds). went camping as a kid (does canada have boy scouts?) and someone pulled one of them apart and hayden almost had to go home. thankfully, he's mostly a city boy

- mild hayfever in spring and early summer; he can just take allegra and be fine

- HOWEVER. jackie definitely made it a mission to find perfumes/colognes he's allergic to and so they fuck around with those in the bedroom

- dare i say honeymoon rhinitis hayden…

- fuck it. honeymoon rhinitis sneezes are much softer and itchier for hayden, but still spaced out enough to piss him off

- usually one of the first to succumb to illness being passed through the locker room

- quota of being sick exactly once per year, though, so after he's been sick, he's safe lmao

- responsible sick person! and by that i mean he swigs dayquil throughout the day and then takes three times the recommended dose of nyquil and passes the fuck out.

A//sra:

- Whether he’s in public or private, his sneezes are almost always quick & kittenish. It’s near impossible for him to sneeze just once— and even if he does manage to be satisfied by just one, his nose will start running like a faucet. (He’s associated with water, so it only makes sense, hehe)

- Allergic to soot, smoke, occasionally dust, & high concentrations of magic. (It’s like a tell for when there’s magic shenanigans afoot! Then again, it may just be a surge of his own magic. Who knows!) (thanks to @sniffles-and-shivers for the idea !!)

- No two sick-spells (haha) are ever the same with him; one cold/illness may leave him drowsy and spacey, his magic and memory-retention equally sluggish— while the next ailment may leave him restless and energized to the point of plotting twenty separate trips across the region (or even the Realms!) just to quell his thirst for distraction. No matter the type, you’d better keep a close eye on him, or he’ll be halfway across the city on another escapade, nose dripping and raw and soaking through his travel scarf before you can say “prestidigitation”. It’s easy to bribe him back to bed with cuddles, though— if there’s one thing he can’t say no to, it’s the draw of a good nap.

- Enjoys the potential magic nonsense that his sneezing fits cause every so often, + the excuse to nap all day. Not to mention, the opportunity to ask for close contact/ask for you to “snuggle it better”

- Dislikes the way his sneezing fits interrupt important spell-work, + having to be stuck in one place while ill.

- Probably doesn’t have the kink, but could easily & eagerly indulge it for his significant other; thinks it’s silly and endearing!

- Easiest way to set them off: Ask him to clean out the furnace when the Stove Salamander is in a grumpy mood; he’ll leave the kitchen covered in soot and sneezing like it’s all he’s built to do!

- The type to try out creative, nonsensical blessings when other people sneeze; “gesundheit” isn’t cutting it anymore, he prefers “May your toast never burn and your jam always be set”, or “May your restaurant meals always be hair-free”, or “May you never spill your drink while wearing pale clothes”. The more oddly specific, the more likely he is to use it.

- Doesn’t carry a handkerchief on-hand, preferring to use his travel scarf when absolutely necessary; that, or he’ll just clean himself up with a quick spell. This has led to Several mishaps and damp spots along his clothing. Still, he never breaks the habit.

- Bonus: His familiar, Faust (snake), thinks his sneezes are hilarious and can’t help but happy-wiggle whenever she hears them. Occasionally whispers a friendly “bless!” or “big sneezies!” (Which she learned form A//sra, himself)

N//adia:

- Whether in public or private, her sneezes are generally restrained and polite. Not much fanfare, aside from a careful “One moment, please,” or a delicate hand-gesture, if necessary. She isn’t very vocal, nor forceful. One comment from her sisters about her sneezes being cute as a child, and now she refuses to be heard in such a manner— she’d rather consume her own dress than be seen so patronizingly. (They were right, but that’s beside the point.)

- Allergic to fur and dander, which proved to be a major source of conflict between her and her late-husband, Count L//ucio; with the late Count’s albino menagerie running rampant and ungroomed across the Palace grounds, it was rare that she’d leave her bed chambers without incident. Nowadays, the Palace staff are extra diligent about dusting and cleaning the grounds, as well as relocating any stray or unwelcome animals from the premises.

- Prakran summer fevers were a regular occurrence for her back home, so she’s not unaccustomed to illness. She already has the tendency to isolate when under stress, so she’s quick to steal off to her chambers for some proper rest and recovery when under the weather. She’s very diligent about preventing contagion, too, and has no qualms with settling into bed with a cup of tea and a good book to wait out whatever ails her.

- Enjoys the opportunity to steal away for a moment of privacy, and indulge in a bit of weakness with nobody else around to patronize her (though, she might not mind your company, so long as you’re respectful and kind).

- In that note, she hates how vulnerable she feels, + the risk of being pitied/seen as inferior or weak.

- More likely to develop a kink for other people’s sneezes rather than her own; will gladly use it as an opportunity to reassure and provide whatever comforts she can afford (perhaps a custom silk handkerchief to match your wardrobe? With embroidery, if you so desire?)

- Easiest way to set her off: While ill-advised, bringing her with you to the abandoned corridor of the late Count’s menagerie could guarantee a sneezing fit or two, along with a begrudging retreat & a vow not to return to the corridor without good reason. That, or you could bring her one of P//ortia’s unfortunately cat-hair-covered throw pillows, and she’ll be sniffling and requesting you remove it from the vicinity in a heartbeat.

- Generally polite and dismissive when anybody else sneezes around her; occasionally repulsed or disapproving if they don’t put in an effort to cover or be polite, though that’s a rare occurrence in her presence. If she overhears you sneezing, however, she may just have to check in and fuss over you if given the chance… Also, if you’re sensitive to perfumes (especially Jasmine), you may want to communicate that with her or you’ll be sniffling and sneezing before she’s even entered the room.

- Canonically carries around a handkerchief, and isn’t afraid to use it whenever necessary. Probably has a few to mix and match with her wardrobe.

- Bonus: Her familiar, Chandra (owl), usually gives a plaintive hoot in response to her sneezes; otherwise, she turns politely away and doesn’t acknowledge that anything’s amiss. She’s also not afraid to threaten and chase off any offending animals that set off her beloved human.

J//ulian:

- In public, he’s very dramatic & vocal. Desperate build-ups, snap-at-the-waist sneezes (always more than once), overdrawn formalities and apologies afterwards— the whole nine yards. In private, however, he’s a little quieter. Without an audience to perform for, his sneezes come out less vocal, and more spraying & haphazard— usually out in the open or muffled into his sleeve.

- God forbid he starts sneezing while drunk, because he will Not be able to keep his balance or composure. He also tends to talk through hitches, even occasionally (breathlessly) announcing his need.

- Allergic to cypress, lilies, goldenrod, various mainstream/popular flowers, and even feathers/dander (which is a shame, considering his familiar is a raven). Hayfever kicks his ass all year round.

- For being a doctor, he’s pretty horrendous at taking care of himself. If it’s a minor cold, he’ll play it up for theatrics & lament— anything to make you laugh & maybe get some playful affection (or punishment~) In sharp contrast, if he’s seriously ill, he’ll deny and avoid acknowledgement like his life depends on it. That, or he’ll be so hyper-focused on his work, he won’t even realize he’s ill until he passes out at his desk (or you forcefully drag him to bed).

- He’s a sucker for embarrassment, and won’t hesitate to play up that embarrassment for the thrill of it. He’s equally a sucker for teasing/affectionate bullying, and sappy/sentimental fussing— despite believing he’s not worthy of the latter.

- Enjoys the attention, the potential for theatrics, and the responses he gets from those around him.

- Doesn’t enjoy the mess, the risk of getting others sick, or the way it interrupts his focus. At least it sort of feels nice/relieving…

- Could easily develop the kink from just about any source, especially his significant other— he’s nothing if not a kink collector & experimentalist!

- Easiest way to set him off: Classic feather-inducing should do the trick; for something more subtle. however, bring him to the Palace garden and watch him struggle to keep his allergies in check. Wouldn’t want the palace staff gossiping about the Dread Doctor being weak to a couple of pretty little floral arrangements, right? (Spoiler, he’s Way into it)

- With others, he’s a chronic blesser, unable to let a single sneeze go unacknowledged. He’s also likely to fuss & attempt occasional medical check-ups, unable to shake his habits as a doctor (even when the sneezes are induced or clearly due to allergies). This all falls to the wayside when he’s truly focused or under stress, however— in which case, he’ll be unintentionally clinical and distracted. It all depends on the context (and whether or not his memories of the Red Plague are catching up to him).

- Tries to carry around a handkerchief for others, but always seems to misplace it when he needs it for himself; typically just covers with his shirt/coat collar, lapel, or sleeve as a last-ditch effort.

- Bonus: His familiar, Malak (raven), sometimes sets J//ulian off on purpose when they’re irritated with each other. Also occasionally mimics his sneezes to mess with him, & usually gets scolded in the process. (“I do not sound like that! …Do I?”)