basically, this is a sneeze kink blog. if you don't know what that is or are weirded out by it, respectfully, turn away.
minors, please do not interact with me (that includes following me or liking my posts). this is an 18+ blog, for both your safety and mine.
anyone homo/transphobic, racist, ableist, sexist, or otherwise, terfs, and incest shippers can kindly leave. you're not welcome here.
i'm now taking commissions on ko-fi ! i will do requests for free on here, but i work in the music industry and would sincerely appreciate it. ko-fi will let you be a little more insane with requests :)
i am currently open to requests, & ask that when sending one, you please state the fandom, character(s), and ship(s) you want so that we can avoid any confusion. keep in mind that i may turn down requests if i don't feel comfortable with whatever they entail or am unfamiliar with the fandom. thanks!
the list of fandoms/characters i write for is here. i update it fairly often, so please check it before you make a request!!
hope y'all enjoy my writing & thoughts! have a nice day/night and take care of yourselves :D
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Hey, I’ve been seeing some weird shit on this side of tumblr again— so I’m posting some more metaphorical rent-lowering gunshots to keep this blog free from bigots and predators.
This is a trans and queer blog. If you’re going to misgender and patronize queer folks or their queer characters, or be a terf in general, you can get tf off this blog.
This is an adult kink community. If you’re going to post kink content involving minors, fictional or not, you can get tf off this blog.
If you’re going to be racist, zionistic, a nazi, or any other brand of bigotry, you can get tf off this blog.
If you’re going to sexually harass and pressure folks into giving you content to jack off to, despite their clear boundaries + autonomy, you can get tf off this blog.
You are not entitled to any body, nor any content, just because you want to get hard. You are not entitled to mistreat and harass folks in this community. You are not justified in being a bigot and a bully, all while hiding behind a screen like a coward.
We are not available for your mistreatment, nor your predatory bullshit. Get tf off this blog.
Now then! Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
do you guys think that since we have an audio based fetish that we also feel more emotion in music? Like maybe there's a correlation between sneeze fetishists and loving music...
so basically i did a dogshit job of taking care of myself while working on my project and now i’m trying to fix that before my job sends me abroad for almost half a year, and thus i truly have no idea when i’ll be writing fic again sorry :/
s/hane being self-conscious and hiding the fact that he's sick from i/lya + i/lya noticing and s/hane's behavior accidentally reinforcing i/lya's lifelong idea that illness is weakness and shouldn't be imposed upon other people send tweet
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gonna be on a mini hiatus until august !! i will probably still be Around just unable to fill any requests at the moment. i am currently and will continue to be super busy with a personal project until the end of july. sorry to keep people waiting on fic :((
hiiii i absolutely LOVE your fics!!! i think they are kind of my favorite h/r fics here and i always get soooo happy when you post something!
i was also wondering if you would write more for M/arleau? he kind of became my favorite character especially since I keep seeing so cool and relatable headcanons about him lol
awh thank you so much !! i’m so flattered to hear that aha <3
i am definitely going to try; i have a ton of unfilled requests left from january onward. unfortunately i am genuinely just. so swamped with work at the moment (doing normal hours + working on my own project, so i’m staying late a lot and still working when i get back home ;-;)
i have until the end of july for this project though, so i am hoping august will allow me to be more productive !! i am slowly going to make my way through everything o7
fill of another prompt from this ask. to be honest, i am not a huge fan of this piece since it's like. just shoving stuff into canon and that usually is very limiting to me.
that being said, i remembered i can write short fic! so here's ~0.8K
“Oh, fuck. It’s Hayden.”Â
The look Ilya gives him is utterly offended.Â
“He just had a baby, I haven’t talked to him in weeks,” Shane argues, swiping his thumb across his phone screen to answer the call. Ilya groans. “Hey, buddy.”Â
“Hey! Is this a good time?” Hayden asks, voice cheerful and tinny from the receiver.Â
“Yeah, uh—uh, how’s, um…”Â
“I haven’t spoken to you in, like, a month,” he goes on, talking over Shane’s stammering. “I mean, the season ended and you just… vanished.”Â
“I know, I’m so sorry.”Â
Ilya rolls his eyes and flops back onto the couch, only to crunch back up a moment later to crush a sneeze into his fist. And then, because he’s Ilya, another double, and one more after a moment’s hesitation. Shane glances over to mouth bless you at him, and Ilya waves him off. He’s been sensitive all day, nose twitchy and pink around the edges from irritation, and he’s not been able to go more than fifteen minutes without sneezing. He’s blamed it on the (in his words) “stupid fucking Canadian foliage,” and while he’s taken a dose of antihistamines, they’ve not kicked in yet. Or aren’t doing shit. Come to think of it, they’re probably expired.Â
He shifts his attention back over to Hayden, resolving to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Part of him squeezes guiltily at the thought of trying to head off his best friend, but he and Ilya don’t really get to have time with each other. It’s always a calculation, and now that they’re not fighting the rest of the world to be together, he doesn’t want anything to interfere.Â
“But how’s—Amber, right? How is she?” He slaps Ilya’s hand away when he starts walking his fingers up his thigh, then glares at him. If he can just wait five minutes…Â
Ilya brings his hand up to rub at his nose again, and immediately flinches into his chest with two sneezes, and then a third after a moment’s hesitation. His jaw drops slightly, eyes hazy, and fuck, he’s not done.Â
“She’s doing great!” Hayden is saying, and from his voice, it’s clear that he’s beaming. “Perfectly healthy, and just adorable. You got the pics I sent you, right?”Â
“Oh, yeah, the pics are cute.”Â
Next to him, Ilya chokes through another silent triple. He’s flushed a faint pink from embarrassment across his cheeks and the tips of his ears, his eyes starting to water from allergic irritation, and his tongue is poking out of his mouth just slightly as he squints vaguely.Â
“She’s been feeding really well, too. Latching consistently and everything; she’s been much easier than Arthur.”Â
“Aw, good, good,” says Shane, angling his torso away from Ilya and doing his best to ignore the apparent allergy attack occurring five feet from him. “And, uh, Jackie’s good, too?”Â
“Yeah! Definitely tired, but nothing unexpected.”Â
“Is it better than, um…”Â
Ilya, having decided that he does, in fact, need Shane’s attention immediately, weaponizes the downtime between sneezing and moves closer to Shane, pressing his face into the back of Shane’s hoodie and making a soft whining noise that makes him grit his teeth.Â
Oblivously, Hayden continues talking. “This is going much better than Arthur’s, yeah. Jackie’s been in touch with her doctor about it, so…”Â
Whatever else he says disappears under the static that consumes his mind once Ilya twitches with another fit, mashing his nose directly into Shane’s spine and apparently relying on the fabric to muffle the sound for him. “h’Mptsh! mp’tsHh–tshh! mK’iew!”Â
“Oh my God,” Shane exhales.Â
“What?”Â
“Yeah, no, I–I remember that, that was a tough time,” Shane chokes out. “Look, Hayd, I’m so sorry, but I–I’ve gotta run, I’m supposed to be handling a couple of things for my mom—”Â
“No, yeah, of course! Just text me when you actually have time, I’ll make sure you can talk to Ruby and Jade, too.”Â
“That’d be great. Talk to you later.”Â
He cannot hang up fast enough. Shane twists and is met with an eyeful of amused, albeit allergic, Russian.Â
“Not very Canadian of you,” he observes.Â
“You know exactly what you’re doing.”Â
“Oh, it’s my fault that my immune system does not like your country’s stupid plants?”Â
“Ilya.”Â
“Shane,” he repeats, mocking. It’s undercut by another little gasp, and then Ilya raises his fist and ducks into it with a set of itchy, utterly ineffective half-stifles. “ihy’schh–tshh–shh’uh! kh’gKT!”Â
“Bless—”Â
“gk’TSH’uh! ih’yshh–shh–shhiu!”Â
“Bless—”Â
“TSHH! hy’KSHH—eh’tshh!”Â
“Are you done?”Â
Ilya sniffles. “Mbaybe.”Â
Shane raises his eyebrows.Â
“For ndow,” amends Ilya, rolling his eyes and flopping back into the couch. “I wandt to kick your ass in the video gambe, combe ond.”
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fr i need him. i have a thought but nothing written yet but HOLY SHIT have we considered him and snzfucker j/ackie???
- long fits that will take like. a minute or two to finish. the metros have timed him before
- usually somewhere around eight to twelve sneezes for a natural fit !!
- so that's like. maybe a sneeze every seven seconds?
- hella buildups. like, jesus christ. there’s pretty much no recovery between sneezes, he gets through one and immediately starts hitching again
- will genuinely try to hold a conversation through a fit because hayden is AWARE they take a while and he doesn't want to waste time
- most people will tell him to shut up (affectionately)
- if it's an actual allergy fit, however, there is genuinely no telling when it'll end. could be in a minute, could be in thirty.
- spaced-out singles
- somewhat wet sneezes. i imagine it more as like. from the mouth??? which is disgusting but you know what i mean? there's just a decent amount of spray okay.
- doesn't actually have dad sneezes but gets teased about having them all the time because. you know. four children, so what tf do you mean he sneezes like a dog (not too loud but a little violent physically)
- curls forward a bit with every sneeze
- stifles but only selectively. in the locker room he doesn't really care and he didn't do it much as a kid, but does for interviews and jackie
- so horrifically allergic to cattails (the reeds). went camping as a kid (does canada have boy scouts?) and someone pulled one of them apart and hayden almost had to go home. thankfully, he's mostly a city boy
- mild hayfever in spring and early summer; he can just take allegra and be fine
- HOWEVER. jackie definitely made it a mission to find perfumes/colognes he's allergic to and so they fuck around with those in the bedroom
- dare i say honeymoon rhinitis hayden…
- fuck it. honeymoon rhinitis sneezes are much softer and itchier for hayden, but still spaced out enough to piss him off
- usually one of the first to succumb to illness being passed through the locker room
- quota of being sick exactly once per year, though, so after he's been sick, he's safe lmao
- responsible sick person! and by that i mean he swigs dayquil throughout the day and then takes three times the recommended dose of nyquil and passes the fuck out.
- contrary to his belief, this does not help him get better faster.
we are on the same page !! i'm scared to like not be anti hayden lmao but i lowkey just disregard all characterization from t/lg (and i guess whatever canon one-shots exist) because that book made me so fucking angry that i had to stand up and walk around and take deep breaths multiple times. ty i am feeling braver ehe.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
fr i need him. i have a thought but nothing written yet but HOLY SHIT have we considered him and snzfucker j/ackie???
- long fits that will take like. a minute or two to finish. the metros have timed him before
- usually somewhere around eight to twelve sneezes for a natural fit !!
- so that's like. maybe a sneeze every seven seconds?
- hella buildups. like, jesus christ. there’s pretty much no recovery between sneezes, he gets through one and immediately starts hitching again
- will genuinely try to hold a conversation through a fit because hayden is AWARE they take a while and he doesn't want to waste time
- most people will tell him to shut up (affectionately)
- if it's an actual allergy fit, however, there is genuinely no telling when it'll end. could be in a minute, could be in thirty.
- spaced-out singles
- somewhat wet sneezes. i imagine it more as like. from the mouth??? which is disgusting but you know what i mean? there's just a decent amount of spray okay.
- doesn't actually have dad sneezes but gets teased about having them all the time because. you know. four children, so what tf do you mean he sneezes like a dog (not too loud but a little violent physically)
- curls forward a bit with every sneeze
- stifles but only selectively. in the locker room he doesn't really care and he didn't do it much as a kid, but does for interviews and jackie
- so horrifically allergic to cattails (the reeds). went camping as a kid (does canada have boy scouts?) and someone pulled one of them apart and hayden almost had to go home. thankfully, he's mostly a city boy
- mild hayfever in spring and early summer; he can just take allegra and be fine
- HOWEVER. jackie definitely made it a mission to find perfumes/colognes he's allergic to and so they fuck around with those in the bedroom
- dare i say honeymoon rhinitis hayden…
- fuck it. honeymoon rhinitis sneezes are much softer and itchier for hayden, but still spaced out enough to piss him off
- usually one of the first to succumb to illness being passed through the locker room
- quota of being sick exactly once per year, though, so after he's been sick, he's safe lmao
- responsible sick person! and by that i mean he swigs dayquil throughout the day and then takes three times the recommended dose of nyquil and passes the fuck out.
- contrary to his belief, this does not help him get better faster.
