#snowpocolypse2014

Rant/

Listen here, Mama Nature: I've had it up to HERE with your fucking around. All of this ice and freezing cold temps that just perpetuate more ice and death traps on the road is really getting on my nerves. I'm totally done with driving to the grocery store being a life-or-death situation. 

And yet again, tonight, you sprinkle us with some MORE snow! Knock. It. Off. Our store flooded when we had that little miracle thaw two weeks ago, so when you finally do decide to quit this bullshit, we're going to be flooded for DAYS. Oh, and it's not like they'd pay us overtime or anything for cleaning up that shit: nope. They'll keep us open and expect us to make sales AND clean up after you. So no, I'm not stoked about it.

My poor car has had ice poop stuck to it from the roads for a WEEK now. I can barely turn! Starting her is a chore, because I have to get all ready to leave, start the car, come back inside, and WAIT for 20 minutes so I don't ruin the engine. Not to mention driving itself is a dance with death- half the roads have trails run in, but a solid median of ice an inch thick that's just waiting to catch my tire at the right angle and spin me into oncoming traffic.

QUIT YOUR SHIT. I'M SO DONE WITH THIS, MINNESNOWTA. DONE, YOU HEAR ME?! WHERE DID THAT GUY IN FARGO BUY HIS FLAMETHROWER, BECAUSE I'M SAVING UP.