#snoreee

After it's established that this whole thing is just for fun, you'd think he'd be a bit more comfortable having fun. But no, he's thought himself into oblivion, and insists he'd freak you out if he brought up trying anything other than missionary.

He's only ever really fucked you once. Like head down, ass up fucked, and even then he was too close. Too intimate. chest pressed to your back and breath right on your neck.

He thinks maybe it's because you're not anything. The two of you aren't anything, he clarifies in his head. You are everything, he's slowly realizing. The two of you together though…well, that's everything too. But it has no name. No title to give it any stability.

Maybe that's why he can't do the one thing you've ever asked of him. Because you're not together, and he can't fathom the idea that you'd trust him enough not to hurt you because he thinks you shouldn't. He hasn't proved anything to you. You've only ever had him gentle. You like him gentle. He shouldn't screw that up.

So naturally, he does what he knows makes you feel good, always, because he's physically incapable of actually speaking to you about your sex life or how much he actually likes you. Because something might change. He fucks you slow, you ride him if you're feeling antsy. All is well.

He thinks a lot. He thinks about you a lot. He thinks about things he would never have to if he'd just speak to you. He's let an “i love you” slip once (miraculously unheard by you) but he's incapable of asking if he can try something new with you.

He knows you mean more to him than you should. He bites back a grin whenever the phone rings past ten because he knows it's you. He can feel himself getting giddy during the few seconds of silence before you say his name, before you berate him because he should say something first if he's the one picking up the phone. The lecture is half memorized and largely ignored by him at this point.

He knows he's probably too gentle. He knows he's too close and he knows he really has a problem when he realizes the thing he most looks forward to on the drive over to your house is holding you after.

You're both content, of course. With how things are now. Eddie just thinks a lot.

A/n: me writing Eddie who can't communicate who's shocked? I promise I'm writing the last part of echolalia…I'm just also writing every little blurb of these two that comes to my mind while I'm writing it