#smilesborderlandsheadcanons

Will I ever be active on this account??? Only the Fates know.

Borderlands hc’s again! A little short this time.

1.1 I once said, I consider NEW-U as a canon thing. Wrote a whole hc post, even. But completely forgot to mention this: Hunger Games are popular within the Universe, and you could buy a Experience Death pill. Though many deaths are permanent, lots of people, if didn’t thought about NEW-U spot, at least tried to get ED pill.

1.2 Death isn’t a thing anymore in this Universe yet feared by many.

1.3 Sometimes NEW-U users are wander why are they still alive and what’s the purpose, why did they signed up a contract, why are they here, w h y. Their lives ruined, families torn apart, bureaucracy is a living Hell. One call it… Hades.

1.4 Some enjoy it, though. Some don’t. Mr.Blake, despite he had strong feelings towards his old boss, Harold Tassier, can’t decide, still, what is that crawling feeling of hatred and melancholy called. “Sometimes dead better say dead“.

1.5 im in that hell and yes they still love each other dearly but 5yo gap between new-u use had it’s detrimental effects such as blake became sightly protective paranoid and um cold i mean he is a Big Boss now half way to the Corrupted State where once harold was (and trying NOT TO become someone he once tried to change (and then kill as for jack when he was around)) and harold has his own Death Defiance problem so to sum up their try to repair their lives and outlive jack from heir memory just wipe him and all past troubles away wipe that damn dead look from harold’s face and may be some day i write long ass post about my love for blake x tass i love them god it almost hurts my guts my dudes

2. New branch of science created in this Universe, and it’s called Space Geodesy. How to navigate the Six Galaxies. How to place space base stations. Datums. As hard to get into as it sounds but most people have kind of understanding of the whole thing. Especially Tannis.

3. I dislike Borderlands 3 but Troy and Tyreen, still having their tragic background, aren’t villains supported by psycho army. They’re just adventurers, merely a humble vault hunters, with rather popular ECHO-net stream blog about planets, places and Random 10 Facts About. Gaige adores them.

4. Timothy gets worse with age as he had no money or chance to visit a therapist. At least, Blake always around to have a shot or two but he can’t just give him the money or the opportunity as Tim wouldn’t accept it. Tim also dislikes Rhys for some reason.

I feel like I AGAIN nearly forgot about this blog. Silly me. NEW-U STATIONS THIS TIME. I consider them as a canon.

1. Much like Fast Travel Network, New-U stations can capture then later revive someone only in a certain area. That’s said, if you go too far away from the station, you’ll probably be lost. Turrets at the outskirts here for a very that reason.

2. You can also be lost if somebody turn New-U station off when you die…

3. Or if somebody pull your data off from the New-U stations network database.

4. To have a privilege to be resuscitated, you have to be indispensable enough but not god-like indispensable. CEOs, Chairmen, Directors can’t reappear at such positions after their tragic death, only in minor roles like Chief CEO/Director/Chairman Advisor or Saw-Afterdeath Ghostly Board Advisors. This rule is unbreakable or the Galaxies would have an almost absolute Undeads, and whoever came up with this Rule of Duying was an asshole, and his name was Lawrence de Quidt.

4.1. Handsome Jack’s DNA was corrupted by vault hunters. Angel’s never found. Roland could have been saved but Angel didn’t had a chance to add his DNA to the system again (she did for 6 others, though). Lilith, Mordecai and Brick and other newly joined vault hunters and their allies and friend can’t die on most part of the Pandora at least for now.

4.2. imagine how tiny tina might have been hated the fact that her parents and roland were cut off from the new-u system while jack’s not

4.3. new u can be hacked. this is how in bl1 vault hunters were respawned

4.4. jack did broke The Rule sometimes. the reason why he isn’t an Advisor is his election. nobody had claimed his position officially, and this topic is what i’ll talk about later

5. You can buy a spot in New-U for a very reasonable price (you need a life, you buy a new one!). Or a company can pay a spot for you while you are accomplish some very dangerous task. Speaking of indispensability… Sometimes it’s better to give you a second, third, 100th chance than find another a bit too smart idiot to do something correctly.

6. How New-U stations know when exactly you have died is a mystery. Only New-U specialists can tell you but nor Hyperion neither DAHL will let it happen.

7. The answer, however, hiding in the A.I. acronym.

8. Bandits do not resuscitating. They can’t afford it neither hack it.

9. Not all companies have their branded New-Us. E.g., Atlas was that confident about their technologies that they used it as a marketing strategy. Why backdooring & cheating when our guns as merciless as die-hard money wasting?

10. You’d better not commit suicide while being in the New-U database…

Almost forgot I have blog here. oops.

1. Somehow English is commonly used as a major language in all Six Galaxies. Other languages are not dead and long forgotten; Russian, Deutsch, Japanese, France, Chinese and some others could still be heard here and there.

2. Living in such open space bring troubles one never knew existed. Like how Intergalaxy Government is working or is it even exist in a form we, the single-planetary human players, expected it to be based on our knowledge gathered over the centuries.

3. People from the Borderlands Universe, even the Higher-Ups, don’t know, either. They just know that the Solar System of Edens is good and The Borderlands is not good to live on. There’s a lot of Solar Systems in between the two.

4. Marcus Kincaid’s ancestors were so smart they’ve invented the new currency -- the Kincaid’s Dollar, and spread it all over the Borderlands Region of the Six Galaxies. This dollar pegged to the… guns. Obviously, the course is depending of gun selling changes and companies currently active on the market.

Some time ago I was pretty deep in TPS story-line and found something that could lead to very interesting theory. I want to describe it.

I can’t say it’s a proper ‘research’ because I have TPS uninstalled a while ago thus have no pictures. But I remember pretty everything about this game so I’ll try to expose as much as I can right now; also Tumblr in my country is pretty laggy and don’t allowing me to post pictures anyway so I’m sorry for the text wall.

Many thanks to @undergoingcalibrations for giving me a bit of a thoughts lately about it!

I don’t include anything related to Borderlands 3 and The Commander Lilith DLC. I prefer pretending both this game and dlc aren’t exist.

Ok, next!

1. A lot of people want to work on a corporations just for cheap food and rent-free work apartment. The inflation so high in this Universe you’ll need millions just for very basic livestock, including taxes, stuff but it depends on a planet you going to stay on.

2. Likely you will live on Promethea as it an offshore for other planet systems and big business dump for locals. But, at least, there would be some cheap meals, work…

3. All Six Galaxies Borderland Area planets are.

4. This is why Atlas settled there, in contrast with Hyperion HQ built on Eden-5. Maintaining large army is safer and cheaper in a place with low rent and basically yours to keep.

5. All companies have their facilities in Borderlands Region for that very reason. It’s cheap, even with shipping costs.

6. Promethea is the world very similar to Eden-5 except it’s outdated to Hell. People had to learn how to fire with forks due to having no other options (bullets are too expensive, you know??).

7. ‘Strongfork’ isn’t Rhys’ real last name. He’s just understand people’s needs and hopes a little being completely hopeless in regard of business intellect as some other CEO’s would say if they weren’t dead.

8. So many new terms exist in this bizarre Universe. Each company has it’s very own. Especially Hyperion and Maliwan. Most people don’t even care about it for their own good.

9. Hyperion and Maliwan both young corporations and the wealthier ones. Them being rivals sometimes reveals deep connections between them in so many ways, actually, thus when Jack’s took over Hyperion, it could be a new corporate war.

10. Fortunately, Maliwan’s CEO wasn’t as dumb as Jack, and didn’t respond to any of his provocations knowing it’s would be a shame to deal with That New Hyperion.

I think, I need another headcanon dump, but for Borderlands. It’s my main fandom after Undertale&Homestuck sunk.

Edit: I'm sorry, in advance, for any grammar mistakes. I wrote this post at like 3am having an exam coming the very that day…

Edit2: after 2 years of non stop language practice i came here to improve on myself LMAO

I’ve read some hc’s through the years. Never memorized them. Even if I did, I couldn’t tell you what was from who. Okay, here I come, and gonna start with something simple. Characters: Lilith, Gaige n’ Deathtrap, Jeffrey Blake, Harold Tassiter, Timothy, Rhys. Some are 18+.

1. Lilith sing while taking a shower.

2. Lilith and Gaige are like sisters to each other.

3. When Tina saw Deathtrap the first time, she got the type of excitement when human body basically a little bomb-y of happiness. Except Tiny Tina is the bomb. She has. In her arm. Gaige has never left Deathtrap alone with Tina ever again.

4. After Jack’s death, Hyperion became a huge mess. Mr. Blake, as an acting CEO, had to do something with it. One could say, Mr. Blake isn’t the man of such responsibilities, however, all executives around him think and act like his old clients from Mercenary Relations, like his colleges. So Mr. Blake sure knows how to talk with them. He outlived Jack after all.

5. Mr. Blake and Timothy Lawrence are kind of a friends. Both survived, have some personal Jack-based problems, and terrible taste in clothing. Also, Timothy was told that if he betrayed Jack, he would get paid for it. Tassiter is long gone at this point but Mr. Blake kind heart is still beating.

5.5. The sum was 1 million borderlands dollars. But economics of Borderlands Universe is, um… stonks. But Tim has a literature degree, not economy, so he doesn’t quite understand…

6. So Tim finally gets his face changed and his name returned.

7. And lost all the money, and got another loan. Though, got stable bodyguard/negotiator job for Hyperion. Blake proudly call him his boy.

8. Mordecai thinks Moxxi, Tannis, and Lilith soon will have an orgy, assuming they spent so much time together.

9. Harold Tassiter has tragic-ass backstory about divorcing, losing a child and reading too much twitter shitposts. Whatever in this Universe called twitter anyway.

10. He never masturbate, as we know… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

12. …Because there’s always a helping hand or mouth running around. Blake’s included, and if Jack didn’t kill anyone, Harold would get himself a new right hand… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) yeah im in THAT HELL send help my dudes

13. Harold absolutely hates Blake’s tie.

14. Everyone hates it, actually.

15. Angel’s dream is to go to the sea, walking on the white-sanded beach, seeing palms nearby, and sun high up at the blue blue sky.

16. Ellie has never seen other planets. Janey saw some but never stepped on them. This is how their friendship began.

17. Athena threats Tim like a younger brother. She’s happy to know he finally can stand for himself.

18. I dislike Borderlands 3 pretty much but I believe Rhys will help Naoko Katagawa get the CEO position of Maliwan someday.

19. Rhys had relationships with both Sasha and Fiona. Then he walked to Vaughn and said: I Don’t Understand Women. Jack’s AI agreed.