#smalltalkskills

“Super small talk skills make socializing easier. You can build a relationship of trust with anyone.” by Goota Achievement

"The Art of Small Talk" is a crucial ability for creating harmonious connections and a necessary component of winning someone over. Developing this ability makes it simpler to communicate with people in social settings, the workplace, and everyday life, which promotes stronger interpersonal bonds.

This book introduces certain methods and strategies for honing the art of small talk. Examples include finding common ground, empathetically listening to the other person's story, and probing into their interests and worries. One can have enjoyable and natural talks with strangers or acquaintances by employing these strategies.

The book also suggests fitness routines and hands-on training to improve communication skills. For example, it is advised to actively enjoy interactions with others and to progressively improve one's small talk skills each day. These exercises help develop natural communication abilities, which pave the way for the development of trust.

Gaining confidence in small chat facilitates social interactions and helps one establish trust with everyone. Being able to have natural conversations with others makes interacting with them more fun and allows one to make new friends and acquaintances. Additionally, building strong relationships can increase productivity and provide doors for success in work or commercial environments.

Learning how to strike up conversations is a talent that everyone aspires to. Reading this book can help you become a better communicator and have more meaningful social relationships.

If considering small talk of little or no value, people might miss on opportunities that only small talk can give.  Even pre-historic people did small talk! You can see it for yourself in the history of small talk video below.

http://bit.ly/armmillshow

This humorous sketch may simplify things a little, but only to emphasise the advantages small talk offers:

relaxing effect. It’s essential in new or unknown situations. Small talk easies the stress and raises self-confidence because we speak of things everybody is well aware of. At the beginning cavemen feel awkward but the more turns they take to speak the more confident they tend to be.

source of new information. While we can just address and ask directly we not always know what to ask specifically. Starting a small talk you widen the range of potential information you may obtain. Cavemen find out that both of them are hunters, waiting on the mammoth and one of them actually learns that “mammoth come at dark”. Pretty useful, taking the circumstances.

signal of cooperative behaviour. This is how people actually appeal to others, displaying their sincere friendliness and care for other people. And this sign welcomes cooperation from others. Cavemen happen to love one and the same thing – mammoth – and a friendly small talk shared is a potential collaboration.

It works to an amazingly similar effect in present times! Take a look at this video.

http://bit.ly/smtlk-restaurant

This is a change of setting, now it’s restaurant and the people talk about an e-reader. But the message is still the same. Eating in hostile silence can spoil anyones appetite, so the man and the woman share a light conversation which turns to be very informative for the man, while the woman is happy to share her

What do I personally gain from small talk?

First of all, small talk fuels our positive emotional experience. Nowadays, we just tend to send our thoughts in the way of statuses, posts, comments out in the open space, not really sure about whether anybody is listening. We grow distanced. In small talk, we know we’re being listened to and that makes us feel valued.

Then, by starting, or taking up small talk, we’re paving the way for future cooperation with the person we are talking with. We might be talking of naturally interesting things, as if we as if we are claiming: “I’m a nice person to deal with”.

Finally, we never know what kind of useful information we might get from small talking with just a random person. The potential and enriching capacities of small talk are immeasurable.

In the following short video an man is visiting his old friend.  You can sense the common traits of care, appreciation and excitement to see each other after a longtime.

http://bit.ly/smtlk-meeting-again

If they didn’t engage in small talk about common and usual things they wouldn’t feel so much at ease in each other’s company.  This helps for future positive contact between them.

What do others gain from the small talk?

The other person experiences just the same three advantages as you do: relaxing, being cooperative and obtaining new information. But there is more. How familiar is, for instance, the next situation for you?

http://bit.ly/smtlk-flights

We can clearly see the woman’s nervousness in the video. Small talk helps her not only to be more relaxed, but significantly reduces level of stress she was experiencing, which could have ruined her journey. People we happen to be around on the bus, in the office or at a party may be experiencing difficulties or troubles of which we might be unaware, and our sharing small talk with them can greatly help in coping with the problem, or at least lift their spirits up. We are born social beings and being actively social is what makes us happy in the end.

Practice makes perfect, but you it isn’t always easy for a language learner to get practice. What is often missing from the classroom is a chance to practice your vocabulary. According to Author Rhian Byrne, the value of small talk cannot be underestimated. For native speakers, its a way to make more personal connections and learn how to listen. But small talk is an especially good way for English language learners to improve their fluency in a fun and intuitive way.

By taking advantage of English speaking opportunities on a regular basis, you will rapidly advance your language skills and get to hear a variety of accents. You will learn the role intonation and body language has to play in language, and this is something you will never learn from a book.

Here are our top 5 tips to start practicing your English with Small Talk:

Reach out — Be proactive!

Starting a conversation or ‘breaking the ice’ can be difficult, but someone has to do it! Talking with strangers or acquaintances might be difficult at first; but the more you practice, the more natural it will feel. Take the opportunity to be friendly to people on a daily basis: when you are in an elevator, standing in line at a cafe, or at a supermarket. Starting a conversation with a stranger can be as easy as giving a compliment or making an observation about a shared situation. If you are trying, others will likely be receptive, and have a conversation with you.

Relax and have fun!

If you’re nervous about your English, try to relax. You don’t have to be ashamed if you are not fluent. Don’t hesitate to ask: ‘Could you speak more slowly’, or ‘Can you say that again?’ The most important thing is to try. As soon as you start speaking you will see how fast your English improves!

It is just as useful to practice your English with someone else who is also practicing. Just see it as practice in fluency and listening. Learning how to make small talk is a skill, and just like any skill, the more you practice, the better you become. Take your time

You will get more out of small talk if you are calm. Don’t feel pressured to say everything at once. Be sure to take time to organize your thoughts. Do an equal amount of listening as well as talking, and be confident in your language abilities. You can always ask the other person you are talking to how to say something; the situation itself is a fun topic. By relaxing and taking your time, you will increase your fluency in the English that you do know.

Learn about body-language

Different cultures use body-language in different ways. Eye-contact is almost always important in English speaking cultures. It shows that you are listening to the other person. A lack of eye-contact can give signals that you are not interested in the topic, or the person who is talking to you. Crossing your arms or looking at the ground gives the impression you do not want to talk.

Smiling is another way to be open to conversations. An open smile is recognized throughout the world as a way to show friendliness, but don’t over do it! You don’t want to send the wrong signals! Use body-language to your advantage, and see what works for you in different situations and cultural contexts. Do what you feel comfortable with and above all - be yourself. 

Keep it short and simple

Small talk is meant to be, well, small. A typical small talk conversation carries on for just a few minutes, and should leave you feeling inspired. By “keeping it short” and relatively simple, you will feel more confident to use your English in the future. Speak in short sentences and feel how willing the other person is to continue the conversation. If you meet an unfriendly person, don’t be put off!

If you want to know more about Small Talk and how it can help you with everyday conversations then check out a range of fantastic tips and resources here.