#small ghost

Hello, Hello, Hello.

I Had A Dream Today. As You Can Tell From This Post Name, I Had A Dream About The Amazing Digital Circus Ep.3, a.k.a. Episode 3.

I Don't Usually Dream. But I Had Too High Expectations About Digital Circus When I Dreaming. Actually, Is Too Plus One.

So....Now Some Of You Might Be Wondering How Exactly Kind Of Story It Is. Okay, I Explain-Exactly.

I Remember Episode Title Was "Martha's Maid Mayhem!", Or Adventures In Ghosty-Sitting!" Or "Haunted House Halls!" Or "Phantom Praise Pandemonium!". Whatever.

I Saw This Episode On YouTube In A Dream And Was Really, Really, Really Shock-Prised That It Available So Suddenly Without A Trailer.

So I Touched It, And Story Begins.

In My Dream, The Amazing Digital Members Were Hangin' The Mayhem Out In The Room Of Ragatha. Because Of Jax.

Jax Is Doin' Not-So-Fuzzy Fussy Fuss And Order The Fuss To Everyone.

Kinger Tries To Play The Piano, But Is Stopped By Jax The Evil.

Zooble Couldn't Bear To See It, And Tried To Leave, But Is Stopped By Jax The Evil.

Pomni Just Gave Up To Jax's Not-So-Fuzzy Fussy Fuss.

Ragatha, Of Course, She Blamed To Jax, And Tried To Stop Everyone!

And Gangle, You Get The Idea!

Just Then, Caine Sudden-Appear Into Ragatha's Room.

He Said Today's Adventure Is Ready And You Are Asked To Come At 9.P.M.

It's 9.P.M. Not A 9.A.M. So, Jax's Bickering And Fussering Didn't Stop Until 9.P.M.

In Today's Adventure, "Martha's Maid Mayhem", The Owner Of The Ghost's Hotel, And Her Little Helper Have Been Ordered By The Boss To Expand The Hotel, To Do This, You Need The Help Of Pomni, Ragatha, Jax The Evil, Gangle, Kinger, And Zooble.

And When They Went Through The Caine's Portal And Visited The Hotel, It Looked Truly Massive And Grand. Really.

Jax Was Truly Happy To Hear "Ghost". (He Said It Was Because Ghosts Ain't Pathetic. He Will Never Know That Prejudice Is Not Everything. Was I Being Harsh As A Rash? I Think.)

Gangle Got Scared When She Heard The Word, (Not A World) "Ghost".

Kinger Do Shaking And Did The Crazy Moves Like Ep.1: Gather The Gloinks! (Pilot Episode)

Zooble Didn't Have Any Reactions.

Pomni Stared At The Hotel Intently.

Ragatha Feeling A Bit Ominous, She Glanced At Jax For A Moment.

And Suddenly, I Hear Thunder From The Hotel. And I Awoke. And At That Short Moment, I Realized Episode 3 I Had Seen Were All A Dream. And When I Woke Up, It Was 12:49 P.M. I Went Back To Sleep And Tried To Dream The Episode 3 Again.

But Instead I Dreamed Of Island.

It Was A Pretty Funny Dream. In A Certain Red Sea, There Was The Island With A House Made Of Light Green Roof And Magenta Pink Walls. House Turned Into A Tree With Golden Leaves, Then Turned Into A Star And Fell, The Island Turned Into Spaghetti, The Spaghetti Became A Pot, And Inside The Pot Was Chicken Soup.

Star Made A Spatula With His Eyebrows And Tasted It. It Was Too Delightful And Too Delicious That He Jumped Up And Down In Admiration. Then, His Eyeballs Began To Gradually Cover Entire Everything, And It Turned Into Black.

AND IT TURNED INTO......

REALLY!

And In The Direct's End, I'm Woke Up. 6:38 A.M.

Okay, I Apologize For Suddenly Talkin' About Dreams And For Suddenly Talkin' About Another Dream I Had.

I Just Wrote This Post, So I Wouldn't Forget About It.

(Update Eventually.)

P.S. https://www.glitchprod.com/thewackywatch

P.S.2. Also, This Amazing Dream And Extraordinary Dream Reminds Me Of Inside Out's Dream Productions.

(Not A Playstation2)

P.S.3. I Got Hundred Likes. Thank You For Your Heartronage.

Small Ghost by Trista Mateer, illustrated by Lauren Zaknoun

it's been a while since i read some poetry, and this was a quick but powerfully emotional read. i went on a journey.

the book in one sentence: a small ghost navigates the nadir of depression and the slow upward climb to feeling better through frank and conversational free verse, evocative photography, and slowly lightening art.

having made that climb upward from incapacitating depression myself many years ago, i found this collection extremely recognizable and poignant. Mateer doesn't try to disguise any of the extremity of the experience: the emotional and physical mess, the blank hopelessness alternating with sudden sharp anguish, the weeping in the grocery store (that one made me laugh). but neither is the slow brightening of the horizon disguised, as small ghost begins to pull herself out, gives therapy and medication a chance, starts finding or noticing or concocting things to live for, just a little bit longer.

all this blunt poetry, which is so charming and emotional on its own, is paired with fascinating photography of small ghost—a figure in satiny bedsheet—and a wide variety of other art that grows softer and sweeter as the book progresses. the combined effect feels raw to me, unpolished in a very pleasing way, a project born out of the extremity of feeling rather than any abstract idea. it's so evocative of a similar time in my life, and provides such wholesome comfort too, without any tinge of shame.

overall, a really honest, compassionate, humor-laden take on depression and grief and slow, gentle improvement.

the deets

how i read it: another e-galley from NetGalley, pretty soon i will have made it out of my backlog hole.

try this if you: love poetry about mundane activities but deep emotion, dig artsy books, or want a reading journey with a hopeful trajectory. can't help but think of one of my favorite musicals, which offers this trajectory too: no one's screaming at you, so you feel all right for ten minutes. if you feel all right for ten minutes, feel all right for twenty minutes. feel all right for forty minutes! drop it and smile, why don't you feel all right for the rest of your life?

maybe skip this if you: need to avoid depictions of depression and suicidal ideation. maybe that's obvious after reading this review but just reiterating

some lines i really liked: the most relatable moments, to me

It's strange, all the things you forget about when you can't find the scars to prove they happened anymore.

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small ghost spends six hours on tumblr A day. At least. Looking at sad quotes, accidentally learning Greek mythology, getting caught up in shipping wars, pretending to be a poet, pretending to be a person.

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She breaks all the plates just to order new ones, just to have something to look forward to for three to seven days. She pulls out a credit card in the middle of the night to buy the Barbie she had when she was ten.

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but you haven't ruined your life. You have saved it. You're saving it right now.