i like reading, actually

i like to read. i always have! and, as happens for lots of kids who like to read, i became an adult who likes to read in theory, but doesn't really have the time. the energy. the money. the space in my life, my day, my brain. even though i went to school for english lit, and grad school for children's lit. i worked in children's bookselling for a decade, and burned out when i couldn't afford basic healthcare. (support your local independent bookstores, and support their workers when they make efforts to unionize!)

i settled in an academic library instead, tired and jaded and broke, and for several years i stopped reading almost entirely; new stories just didn't hold the appeal for me that watching the same tv shows over and over again did. (except for fanfiction! fanfiction always has my back.) fast forward to now, after a lot of loss and grief and fear and working through possible adhd, i am rediscovering that I like reading, actually! if i can just get over that hump where it seems too hard to start something new, if i can just get a book into my hand and get it open, i'm good, i'm happy, i'm in it! for the first time in a long time, i'm excited about reading again.

so tl;dr, if you miss reading but you just can't seem to fit it back into your life, or you can't focus, or you haven't found the trick that works for you, i see you! this blog will be a record of stories that got me over the obstacles, and maybe they'll tempt you too, in spite of everything that gets in the way.

BOOK REVIEWS

Piper at the Gates of Dusk by Patrick Ness

WOW, it is just as easy to fall right back into Chaos Walking as it was fifteen-plus years ago. Patrick Ness has such a compelling and readable style, where every voice is distinct and the words never get in the way of the message, and it’s just so thrilling to return to this world after so long.

a similar amount of time seems to have passed in the story as in real life; the narration this time is shared by Todd and Viola’s teenage children, Ben and Max. it’s a markedly different world than when we left it—though i’ll be honest, i haven’t reread the original trilogy in a long time, and went into this recalling only the basics. a widely-adopted cure for the Noise seems to have eliminated it almost entirely; humans and the Land—Spackle—exist in an uneasy peace. but the book wastes no time! the first scene introduces a new and terrifying problem: giant, screaming, skinless, fire-wreathed gods that appear suddenly, wreak destruction, and vanish just as fast.

Ness has such a straightforward but vivid way of relaying the terror and tension of every moment that follows. the mystery of what’s happening builds incrementally, interspersed between fascinatingly gray areas of interpersonal and political struggle. there’s no simple, clear-cut right or wrong, no easy fixes, and the young brothers’ alternating POVs skillfully model the theme of the whole within their relationship: that even across (some) disagreeing viewpoints, communication and empathy can build a better world. (but sometimes it’s still necessary to punch a bigot.)

i also loved the specificity of the brothers! book smart, fussy Ben, who speaks through sign and and an electronic device because of a side effect of the Noise cure, and foul-mouthed, courageous Max, whose transness is important, but not the whole or the focus of his story. these two have such good hearts, and that kindness permeates the book.

but in true Ness style, the epilogue is not so much a resolution as a first salvo in what will be the conflict of the next book—so don’t expect to finish this one with all the answers!

the deets

how i read it: in hardcover on a long car ride! it was a birthday present from my besties, who were just as excited to read more Chaos Walking as i was, and i had a great time live texting my reactions.

try this if you: loved the original trilogy! this one could stand alone if you’re VERY willing to go with the flow, but why not just read all the books? they’re very good!

some lines i really liked: two really clear examples of the very plainspoken incisiveness that permeates this book

Most of those kids were treated with different kinds of neurological stimuli and therapies and all that and were able to speak again. Only one kid on this whole planet didn't change. Guess who. Now don't get any stupid ideas. This story, whatever it is, isn't about me "finding my voice." I have a voice just fine, thank you. It's in my face and my gestures and my words. When I'm talking to people outside my family, I type them (pretty fast) into a comm that reads them out for me. I can't speak, but I'm not without a voice. Okay? The problem is that over the years, Pop's grown to think the cure was a mistake.

---

Burly's not buying all that, by the way. He ways it's just a rock. Nothing to be worried about. He's saying the scientists are "maybe overreacting." He "understands their caution," but a link between the rock out there and the dream outbreak "seems implausible" and it's more likely caused by some kind of disease or contagion, most likely caught from the Spackle (Burly does not call them the Land), and he says his own medical team supports him on the disease idea, though I know Mom doesn't think much at all of his medical team, which somehow still includes Margery Wingard, whose little church I pass on my walk. Though the first thing I notice is that it's not so little as it used to be.

Legendary Frybread Drive-In: Intertribal Stories edited by Cynthia Leitich Smith

i've read a few single-author short story collections recently, and it's nice to dive into one that's tapping a whole variety of authors instead! though this did make me despair a little bit about how hard it's become to switch my brain over from grownup-book-reading mode to YA-book-reading mode, when children's lit was my whole bread and butter a decade ago. life goes on, i suppose!

i love a collection centered around a premise, and this is a really compelling one: Sandy June's Legendary Frybread Drive-In occupies a kind of metaphysical space outside of time, findable to Indigenous people from wherever they happen to be when they need a welcoming place to rest, or the love and advice of grandparents and aunties and cousins, or just the comfort foods of home. it's a marvelous connecting thread between stories of young people from a range of places and tribes, discovering Sandy June's for the first time or taking regular shifts there. and the stories, as you might imagine, touch on a variety of young adult concerns: from the very broadly applicable, like crushes and friendship and family strife, to the deeply specific stresses of displacement and disconnection and not feeling "Native enough."

these topics are all handled ably enough, with a few shining standouts: "Game Night" by Darcie Little Badger, about the struggles of geographical and emotional distance in online friendships; "Look Away" by Karina Iceberg, about miscommunication in young romance; and "Momentum," about the intersection of art and identity. but i think the collection as a whole suffers a little from a disagreement of audience—some of these stories are clearly written with non-Native readers in mind, compellingly in some cases and in others stumbling over explanations in the effort to usher an unfamiliar reader into the author's culture. on the other hand, some of the stories are aimed more directly at Native youth, dropping the reader into their worlds without feeling any need to explain or translate. personally, i prefer the latter, and enjoy entering the experience of someone else's life knowing that it's not for me specifically, but that i can still learn from it. but i'm not a young adult anymore, regardless—so take this preference with a grain of salt. it could be very useful for a teen reader to have some more didactic stories mixed in with the immersive ones, though it made the whole collection feel lacking in cohesion for me.

but regardless, there's always room and need for more Indigenous stories and Indigenous authors in the literary landscape, and the focus issues of this collection don't outweigh its other exciting qualities for me: the satisfyingly fantastical nature of Sandy June's, and the uniting theme of community and identity as a support in the face of life's struggles. also, it made me EXTREMELY hungry for frybread, which i've never had and need to find an occasion to try!

the deets

how i read it: another combo of NetGalley access and Libby ebook!

try this if you: dig the trials of the young adult experience, are into or want to read more Indigenous lit, or love a magically appearing and disappearing locale.

some lines i really liked: both of these struck me as extremely true-to-life descriptions

This is the game: my gaze rises to his, and he finds somewhere else to look. Then he glances back up at me, and I look down at the fish. There is one minor problem with our game.... I might be the only one playing it.

---

On Saturday morning, Kathy woke up feeling depressed. Depression was a complex emotion to describe, but how she would have summed it up was that she didn't feel like she could get out of bed, that she couldn't imagine wanting to get out of bed, and so she was relatively sure that she would not get out of bed.