#slayvicr

not a single wrinkle of passed time shows on spike’s face, no charred notion of the thundering orange explosion in which he’d been consumed. he’s still the same pale marble he was when he met her (what feels like - and technically was - entire lifetimes ago), the same quirking, smug smirk he’d worn then is there now, dancing giddy on his lips. the difference is the awed and revered gleam in his wide eyes, the parting of his lips. as if he hadn’t spent a month working up the gall to seek buffy out, as if he’s just as surprised to see her. in a way, he is. she looks different -- not older, but more peaceful. the world is a much different place than how he left it and spike is innately gratified to find that it’s one that agrees with her.

it’s an absolute mystery to spike, how angel can admire her from the shadowy outskirts of her life. to carry on the relentless brooding, the poofter, he thinks. spike, on the other hand, isn’t nearly as selfless. though it did require some thought (to the tune of: could i impose? certainly. will she accept me back? likely not. shall i try anyhow? bloody right), he was magnetized.

“could say the same to you --- ohio?” she’s really gone and plunged blonde-first into stupefied normalcy. an unnecessary breath catches in his throat, implies how heavily this moment has weighed on him, too. spike steps closer, minimizing the space, his head canted and lips flickering into a musing smile. “happy birthday, buffy.”

               The tray, filled to its brim with biscuits, teacups and all, was laid down on the table with a quiet clink. Giles sat facing Buffy while Xander, Willow, and Oz were to their side. He had all summer to figure out his new, er, condition, but even with that under his belt there were still things he hadn’t gotten used to yet. How lights seem tenfold brighter and the smallest sounds a gunshot. Willow tapping the ends of her jacket zipper together was drilling holes into his skull. He gritted his teeth, poured the tea in rote motion into four cups and not another more. They had exchanged elation and hugs following Buffy’s return. (Something that had even warmed his dead heart--and no, he wasn’t about to quit making that sort of remark he’d found to be quite liberating.)

            It was now time for the truth.

            “Er, Buffy--I have something I need to tell you.” He looked each of them in the eye (Willow looked like she was about to cry; my dear child, I don’t deserve your tears), ending with Buffy. He tried to project his respect for her and his care, for one that was chosen so young to protect the world. Let’s make this quick.

            “I... was Turned. Sired.” Giles remembered how he’d first found out; the kids' individual reaction, and he knew he was going to remember the look on Buffy’s face until the day he turn into dust. (It was also a very strategic decision from Xander, Willow, and Oz to have come along--they should help sway and stop Buffy from staking him outright. He’d remember to thank them later.)

            “I am a vampire, but I will still be your Watcher if you want me to.” I'd also completely understand if you'd like to request a change, he wanted to add, but even thinking that made him want to laugh. Laughing felt terribly inappropriate, and so he refrained from saying more.

can i just say, i love you for asking this.

this is where i think it is important that oz was not around in the scoobies life during this time, because he absolutely would have stepped in and told them that they have no right meddling in the forces of life and death. he would have been adamant that he was not taking part in it. he would have told willow and tara and xander that what they were doing was reckless and playing with magic that they did not know or control.

the fact of the matter is, giles didn’t believe that buffy was in another dimension. nor did angel. both of whom had been doing it a lot longer than willow, xander and tara had been involved in these things. he would have told them that angel did go to an alternate hell dimension, he took his body with him. buffy was dead. not in a different dimension. she was dead.

he would not have had any part in it, he would have told them that they’re dealing with dangerous magic. which i think he would have been looked at with dark expressions from all three of them. oz has always been the voice of reason so having him there would have put a damper on things. 

unfortunately, he has no control over tara or willow or xander. he doesn’t want to. he would have voiced his concerns. and he would have taken a step back. hoping that they would have listened to him. when they didn’t oz was just as furious as giles was. he had warned willow of the dangers of power you don’t know or can’t control. his warnings went unheard and he would have probably realized in those moments, how little he probably meant to the rest of the scoobies. 

but lets talk about what you actually asked. oz would have been devastated at buffy’s death. he would have even probably broken down at some point. probably in silence. willow and tara had themselves to console in. same with anya and xander. the only others he might have leaned on would have been giles, or spike. because he is so stoic and quiet, people would have taken it that he had dealt and grieved in his own time and was the strongest of them all. but it was probably very likely that he would have broken down privately. or even probably only in front of giles. 

buffy above all else was kind to him. if oz had stayed, it would have been likely that their friendship grew. we saw the first start of that happen in season four before he left. they were not close but they could have been. had oz stayed, or even returned to sunnydale after his time away, he would have definitely become a confidant that buffy would go to. because she would have known she could trust him and his silence. oz always was very protective of buffy as well. he was also older than the other scoobies by a year and always felt very protective of them in a way. he was always the outsider looking in but once he and willow broke up and willow found tara, he found new ways of making himself useful to the group. because these were his friends. 

             𝖶𝖠𝖲   𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖲   𝖲𝖫𝖠𝖸𝖤𝖱   𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖫𝖫𝖸   𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖱𝖸𝖶𝖧𝖤𝖱𝖤   𝖠𝖫𝖫   𝖠𝖳   𝖮𝖭𝖢𝖤   ?   everywhere   glory   went   ,   buffy   happened   to   magically   show   up   and   ruin   the   plans   she   had   made.   a   frustrated   groan   emits   from   the   god’s   throat   when   she   hears   a   smartass   remark   from   her   least   favorite   slayer.   she   turns   around   and   cants   her   head   irritably   ,   ❛    what   now   ,   slay   runt   ?   you   have   nothing   better   to   do   than   follow   me   around   with   puppy   eyes   ?   how   pathetic   ❜    she   insulted   ,   laughing   sarcastically.    ❛    i   suggest   you   get   moving   before   i   make   you   and   your   friends   a   nice   little   pile   of   squished   bugs.   ❜

random questions in the inbox + @slayvicr

     though elizabeth may be somewhat DISCONNECTED from the rest of the supernatural world ( aside from those that reside in the cruel mistress known as the hotel cortez ) , she still knows of the infamous buffy summers . a legend to some , a threat to others . . . BEAUTIFUL to the countess . . . in more ways than one . it’s the woman’s pain , however , that calls to her .     “ then show me who i’m dealing with , MISS SUMMERS . teach me . ”     about what , she isn’t quite sure . curiosity has overcome her , and she won’t be deterred . gaze is intent upon buffy’s own , as if trying to pull the desired information from the other as they sit in the public safety of blue parrot lounge .

          ╰  that thing i wanted

OZ  HAD  NOT  SEEN  THE  GANG  IN  A  LONG  TIME  .  giles  knew  he  was  back  in  sunnydale  but  beyond  that  ?  the  rest  of the  gang  had  no  idea    but  willow  had  made  the   call  of  telling  him  buffy  was  dead  .  he  had  gone  to  the  funeral  .  been  there  for  the  others  .  &&  then  had  left  again  .  doing  his  own  thing  .  it  grieved  him  .  to  know  that  she  was  gone  .  she  had  been  a  part  of  his  life  for  years  &&  had  opened  him  up  to  a  world  he  was  now  heavily  ingrained  into  .  it  was  WEIRD  now  that  she  was  just  ...  gone  .  the  phone  call  down  the  line  from  ...  well  ,  from  willow  again  .  telling  him  that  she  raised  buffy  .  it  made  him  QUESTION  as  to  whether  or  not  evading  the  scoobies  was  a  good  thing  .  death  was  death  .  &&  willow  tampering  with  magics  she  couldn’t  control  made  him  severely  uneasy  .  

that  being  said  ,  his  mind  SHIFTED  to  buffy  .  what  she  was  going  through  .  the  rest  of  them  seemed  very  wrapped  in  their  own  selfishness  to  even  consider  it  .  so  a  few  nights  down  the  line  ,  he  got  in  the  van  &&  drove  to  her  house  .  knowing  that  willow  &&  tara  would  be  out  on  date  night  &&  the  only  person  other  than  buffy  who  would  be  at  home  would  be  dawn  .  &&  she  at  this  hour  was  PROBABLY  in  bed  .  buffy  was  ,  as  he  suspected  she  would  be  ,  sitting  outside  by  herself  on  the  porch  by  herself  ,  huddled  in  a  blanket  to  keep  the  chill  night  from  becoming  too  much  .  running  his  hand  down  his  face  ,  he  moved  up  the  stairs  &&  sat  down  beside  her  ,  hitching  the  front  of  his  trousers  as  he  did  so  .  

he  said  nothing  for  a  moment  then  ,  QUIETLY  ,  as  often  as  he  did  .  he  simply  put  his  arm  around  her  shoulders  &&  drew  her  close  to  him  .  “  i  brought  really  bad  beer  with  me  .  ”  he  said  drily   .  “  if  you’d  rather  DRINK  than  TALK  .  ”