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This is my contribution to @lexyblip and @flowerbloom-arts' Simpsons superhero AU! I decided that it would be cool if Cecil was a supervillain with water/electric powers, considering his former job. Also, the name is a reference to a line in bfas lol. Also I forgot to mention he also lost his eye in the accident; his right eye is glass
SIMPFLIX PRESENTSā¦Ā
The Old College Try
(A slight parody/homage of indie Oscar-baity romantic dramedies everywhere.)
With Virginia not going chameleon during their morning after, Bob and Virginia actually work out and turn into something long-term. The more she hangs out with Bob, the less she feels tempted to āgo chameleonā, even as she learns about his more decrepit activities. Sure, the Simpson family doesn't trust her anymore, but what does that matter?Ā
As time goes on, Virginia...changes. She doesnāt notice at first. In fact, the change actually benefits her. She starts to read the literary classics that Bob constantly praisesā and itās exactly the kick she needed to start her own novel. Before she knows it, sheās got a best-selling debut on her hands, and a whole line of publishing companies beckoning her for more material.Ā
But the changes donāt end there. They become snarkier, more pretentious, and their lightweight tendencies miraculously disappear as they evolve into a wine aficionado. Bob eventually notices, and he's alarmed. But at the same time, it doesn't seem intentional on Virginia's end (or maybe that makes it worse?) Virginia becomes all he could ever want in a partner (save for not wanting to be a murder accomplice) and yet, he finds it disturbing rather than thrilling.Ā
As time wanes on, Virginia starts to notice as well. Self-awareness starts to creep in, but she disregards those thoughts the moment Bob walks back into the room. This should be her happy ending. Sheās an acclaimed author with a brilliant boyfriend, and whatever āchameleon-ingā sheās doing is entirely by accident.
What more could she ask for?Ā
āĀ
ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE!!!!!!!!!!
alright truth be told, the synopsis has been done for about 5 days now, the bulk of the work were the art pieces i drew up to complement the whole post lol.
i initially wanted to add a whole "trivia/author's notes/allusion explanation" section like i usually do, but this post is super long as it is so! that's going to be a separate post most likely haha (and i might drop some stuff in the notes of course)
Without further ado, āepisodeā synopsis under the cut!!Ā
CHAPTER ONE: THE OLD COLLEGE TRY
The episode opens with a montage of Virginia and Bobās relationship, summarizing everything mentioned above. We see that Virginia becomes an author after gaining inspiration from Bobās recommended literature, while Bob decides to repent for good and is working to become an academic professor. Virginia evolves into this whitewashed, constantly tired, but ultimately successful version of herself.Ā
The action picks up with Bob on the couch, venting about his current romantic situation. We find out that Virginiaās transformation has been gradual and entirely unintentional, the complete opposite of her usual āchameleonā routine, and Bobās disturbed by this. Cut to Cecil, reading from Virginiaās debut novel, The Old College Try.Ā
BOB: -Sheās turned into something so different compared to the person I fell in- I decided to date. We used to spend every night lamenting on the genius of Jean Paul-Sartre. I even indulged in that hotdog movie she loves! Nowadays, she spends all day in that office, typing her next ācultural masterpieceā or whatever the papers call it. But the weirdest aspect is-- I find her even more attractive than I did that night.
CECIL: Robert, you know Iām not āthatā kind of doctor. Or any kind of doctor, in fact, I just asked if you wanted some wine.Ā
BOB: Ask Virginia, she knows all about that now.
Bob gets a phone call from Snake, who has a business preposition. Heās putting together a new Crime Syndicate, an elaborate team to pull heists across Springfield.Ā
BOB: Chester, Iāve just turned over a new leaf. Why would I risk losing everything I have now for a revamped life of crime?Ā
SNAKE: Come on, Bob. With you, weād be, like, unstoppable! Weād be like those magic people, you knowā pestilence, famine, Jesse EisenbergāĀ
BOB: The Four Horsemen?
SNAKE: Exactly!
Across the city, Virginia confides to Ruth about her current writer's block at a diner. Ruth notes that maybe she needs to release her inhibitions for some inspiration. As Virginia leaves, she bumps into a beautiful, raven-haired woman. The two hit it off and exchange numbers, but Virginia forgets to ask for her name.
Later that evening, Bob dreams about a āshadowā version of himself goading him to stab a silhouette. He canāt tell what (or who) the silhouette represents. He goes into the kitchen to find Virginia with a late-night glass of wine. She claims sheās okay, and he goes back to bed. Once he leaves, we see that Virginia is being haunted by a ghostly version of her "idealized" self who claims she's not good enough for Bob, no matter what she does.Ā
CHAPTER TWO: RAZZLE DAZZLE
The next day, Bob and Virginia receive an invitation for the next Terwilliger family reunion. Both of them dread the thought, but wonāt let the other know. Bob lets Virginia know that Francesca will be there, and Virginia balks. Sheās heard about the great Francesca Vendetto-Terwilliger before: Bobās glamorous Italian second wife who gave up everything to assist in his homicide attempts.
At the reunion, Bob and Virginia come face to face with Cecil andā¦that raven-haired woman from the diner.
Turns out Cecil and Francesca are recently engaged (for green card purposes). Virginia is awestruck when, after anticipating detesting Francescaās guts, sheās instead left speechless in her presence.Ā
Bob & Virginia try to share a waltz, but they can't get on the right foot. As Virginia charms some of the Terwilligers with a joke...:
VIRGINIA: --I do think I'd make a good comedian, if it wasn't for my flawed timing. I mean, I'm Filipino after all!
...Bob takes an incoming call from Snake, and Fran meets up with Virginia. The two of them end up talking about the experience of shedding their old skins for the sake of living as Terwilligers (even though Francesca is divorced and Virginia isnāt even engaged. Virginia ends up getting drunk for the first time in months.
VIRGINIA (voiceover): The lights are brighter when Iām with her. Everything feels hazy, like a warm blanketās being wrapped around my shoulders. I thought I was completely over the wooziness alcohol invokes in the weak-hearted, but Iā IāĀ
VIRGINIA (real time): Iām gonna be sick.
Snake asks Bob if heās thought about his ābusiness opportunityā. Bob affirms that heās not gonna take itā right as Snake & his team burst through the Terwilligersā venue, rendering Bob aghast.
BOB: What in the blazes are you doing here?!
SNAKE: Dude, I told you we were targeting this rich schmancy place first! Why are you even here?
BOB: This is my FAMILY REUNION!
SNAKE: No way! I figured your folks were from, like, New England or something.Ā
In the commotion, Fran loads Virginia into Cecilās car, while Bob gets entangled with Snake's crimes.
CECIL: If she regurgitates while Iām driving, sheās paying for the upholstery.Ā
Virginia has a dream with that same idealized self once again disparaging her for not being "pretty" enough, or "smart" enough, or "talented" enough. She needs to abandon her tongue if she's going to be a Terwilliger.Ā
CHAPTER THREE: FULL STEAM AHEAD
The next day, Francesca takes care of a hungover Virginia at her and Cecilās residence. Virginia, sweaty and sick, feels entirely safe in Francescaās care. And theyāre doubly surprised that a woman as elegant and beautiful as her would care enough to stay with them when theyāre so gross and vulnerable. Francesca presents a theory as to why their relationship with Bob isnāt working.Ā
FRANCESCA: You have this habit ofā¦ābecoming the chameleon,ā giusto?Ā
VIRGINIA: I used to. I thought it disappeared when I started dating Bob.Ā
FRANCESCA: Roberto is known for his high-class sensibilities. When I first dated him, when he was the mayor of Salsiccia, I was convinced I wouldnāt live up to his standards. Maybe this āchameleonā skin of yours is something similar. Maybe youāre so worried you wonāt be what he wants, youāve created a version of yourself thatās perfect for him.Ā
Bob wakes up at Snake's headquarters, where he meets the other syndicate members: Fat Tony, Ruth Powers, and Sideshow Mel, who all have their own reasons for joining.Ā
MEL: Times are tough, Robert. Do you think a Sideshowās salary is enough to pay for private school?Ā
Snake asks him again if he wants to join. He noticed a thrill in Bobās eyes as he escaped with his crewā something that Bob doesnāt deny. Heās tempted, but conflicted about whether to betray/endanger Virginia for his own desire for excitement. Before he can give Snake a solid answer, Cecil calls him and says Virginia's at his house. He leaves to pick her up.Ā
Virginia and Bob arrive home, without saying much. Bob offers to put on "the hotdog movie" she likes, but Virginia suggests putting on something by Charlie Kaufman instead. We get a brief look at a Simpson-parody of I'm Thinking Of Ending Things:
BOB: You and your obsession with the dream ballet...
...right before Virginia takes a moment by herself to listen to her family voicemails:
VOICEMAIL 1/MALAYA (mother): Ginny, when are you going to visit again, hah? Your father and I want to hear more about your books! Everyone at the office was talking about it! Gabe was hooked on itāĀ
VOICEMAIL 2/GABRIEL (2nd brother): Gin, when's your boyfriend gonna teach me Tagalog? Jazzās still bugging me to learn one day, and he knows more than you doāĀ
VOICEMAIL 3/JASMINE (sister): Hi Virginia, I just wanted to check in. Read your new book recently. Itās very well-made, butā¦donāt take this the wrong way, why do they all talk like Samā
VOICEMAIL 4/SAMUEL (eldest brother): Virginia, my company is offering a movie deal upwards of $1,000,000 for your upcoming novel. Please let me know if you have some time to talk negotiations by chance. Donāt let Jasmine know I called you.Ā
Meanwhile, Bob reflects on his old life of crime, that invigorating thrill of the hunt, compared to his relatively mundane and banal romance. As Virginia is caught up in her voicemails (staring in the mirror to see that idealized version of herself once more), Bob calls up Snake and takes him up on his offer at last.
PART TWO / CHAPTER FOUR: GOOD THINGS NEVER LAST
Bob never told Virginia about getting back into crime. Meanwhile, Virginia has been talking to Francesca behind his back. Cue montage of Bob & Virginia cheating on each other. Thereās a joke where Virginia is venting to Ruth in the middle of a heist and sheās awkwardly trying to give advice while outdriving the cops. Bob and Snake are spiritually making out in the backseat but not physically.Ā
VIRGINIA: Iām just asking, should I tell Bob Iām talking to his ex-wife like this? About things I would never tell him about for some reason? When Iām with Francesca, itās like a weight has been lifted from my heartāĀ
RUTH: Virginia Iād love to talk more, I honestly would, but Iām in a bit of a jam right nowāĀ
MEL: Why did you choose to take the freeway?! We have a map of the backroads for a reason!
Virginiaās chameleon-front starts to slowly fade away the more she hangs out with Francesca. Francesca encourages her to release her inhibitions, embrace her cultural heritage, and be herself. This ends up helping Virginiaās writerās block, while being part of Snakeās Crime Syndicate has alleviated Bobās boredom.Ā
But after months of being Bobās girlfriend, Virginia doesnāt know if she likes herself anymore. Sheās still haunted by the idealized version of herself, taunting her that sheās gonna throw away all her success, and nobody will love her again. When Francesca asks if sheād be happier if she and Bob broke up, Virginia re-affirms her relationship with Bob and suggests that they not meet up for a long time.Ā
When Virginia returns home, she catches Bob in the act with the Crime Syndicate. Bob tries to reassure her, but Virginia is completely terrified at the prospect that no matter what sheās done, heāll be unsatisfied in their relationship. Virginia retreats to her office, confronts her idealized self and ākillsā her.
She emerges from her office looking completely different (but practically identical to her āidealizedā self), and emotionally withdrawn.Ā Bob asks if she's okay, but she just gives him a flippant "yes."
Then, a new heist opportunity presents itself: Mr. Burns is hosting a ācharityā gala at his mansion, where a priceless bejeweled parrot will be on display.
Virginia's interest is piqued.
CHAPTER FIVE: BAD THINGS NEVER DIE
Things don't get better between Virginia & Bob. They're invited to the upcoming gala, but Virginia has a feeling that Bob will want to āattendā with his Crime Syndicate instead. Instead, Virginia decides to invite Francesca as her plus one.Ā
The night before the gala, Cecil gets a phone call from Virginia:
VIRGINIA: Cecil, I understand this must be a highly unconventional request to be making, but I need you to park outside Mister Burnsā mansion during the gala tomorrow. Stay on the lookout.
CECIL: You know, Ms. Guillermo, thereās another way you can get me to Burnsā mansion tomorrow. Especially considering Robert said he wouldnāt take me...Ā
VIRGINIA: How about this? If you follow my plan, Iāll gift you a bottle of my finest Dolcetto.Ā
CECIL: Done and done.
At the gala, Virginia arrives with Francesca, and Bob sneaks around with the Syndicate. The two notice each other, but donāt say anything. Virginia and Francesca dance, mirroring Virginia & Bobās previous botched waltz at the family reunion. But theyāre much more graceful and in rhythm with each other. Francesca notes that Virginia looks much more sullen, not at all what she looked like a few days ago.Ā
FRANCESCA: Are you sure youāre okay, Virginia?Ā
VIRGINIA: Please, Francesca. Call me Ms. Terwilliger.
FRANCESCA: What?
Suddenly, the lights go out, and when they come back up, the parrot is missingā and so is Mr. Burnsā¦and Virginia.Ā
Bob is confused. This wasnāt part of the plan. Snake has the Parrot, but Mr. Burns wasnāt supposed to disappear. Bob searches through the hall despite the Syndicate wanting to make a getaway, eventually leading to a room where a knife-wielding Virginia has Burns tied up. She explains that she figured the Syndicate would do āthe old ālights outā routineā, and figured sheād help by taking care of Mr. Burns for them.Ā
She staggers in her step, wielding the knife in a shaky hand. Bob can tell this isn't what she wants-- this isn't who she is.
The two of them fight over the knife. Bob argues that Virginia canāt throw away her life, her success, like this. Virginia argues back that she practically threw away her entire identity for him already. Why not turn to a life of crime for him now?Ā
VIRGINIA: I can be just like you, Robert! I can join your syndicate, and weāll be good as new! Just you and meā¦Mr. and Mrs. Terwilliger, like how it shouldāve been from the start.Ā
In the heat of their fight, Bob accidentally knocks Virginia backwards. She stumbles into a bookshelf, hitting her head against the hard wood, knocking her unconscious.Ā As she collapses, the last thing she hears is:
BOB: Virginia!
CHAPTER SIX: EAT YOUR HEART OUT, AGNES DE MILLE
A dream-ballet commences between Virginia (represented by her idealized self) and Bob (represented by his shadow self).
Both of them wonder if this was how it was always meant to end. Bob deflecting back to crime, Virginia going chameleon. And with how Virginia didnāt even notice they were āgoing chameleonā at first, maybe this was who they were meant to be all along. Maybe they were doomed from the start.Ā
Burns screams, and Virginia wakes up to see Bob watching over them. Francesca found the two of them and killed Burns herself, scolding both for their hesitance. Bob sees the way they look at each other, and puts the pieces together.Ā Virginia confesses:
VIRGINIA: Do you think Llewellyn Sinclair would be up to directing No Exit? Estelle has always been a dream role of mine.
Like Bob, Francesca ends up getting a rush of excitement after going back to this life of crime, but knows she canāt risk throwing her life away. She asks Virginia if they want to escape with her instead, but Virginia figures theyāll find a way to ruin their relationship by āgoing chameleonā yet again. Still, they kiss Francesca goodbye.Ā
VIRGINIA: Mahal kita, Francescaā¦
Francesca and Bob escape the mansion (with Cecil as their getaway driver), while Virginia disappears in the dark.Ā
EPILOGUE
Over the next six months, Francesca decides to join the Syndicate as a consultant, someone who they can bounce ideas off of, but doesnāt have to get her hands dirty. She gets that small thrill from crime without endangering her or Gino. The Syndicate itself is thinking of branching off into Shelbyville or Ogdenville. With Mr. Burns' mysterious death, Smithers has ordered a security crackdown across Springfield, meaning their discovery is much more of an inevitability rather than a possibility.Ā
Francesca receives a letter from Virginia, whoās retired to a lighthouse on the outskirts of town. Theyāve been spending the past months trying to understand their identity separated from anyone else. Their family is worried sick, but they canāt risk letting anyone know what happened to them, or what they (almost) did. They miss both Bob & Francesca dearly, but don't want to return until they can truly be themself.
They bid them farewell for now, but hints to Francesca that if she wants to turn over a new leaf for good, they left her a little present in their old office.Ā In Virginiaās old office, Francesca finds a manuscript for an action/crime/romance/thriller: āTil Death Do Us Part.Ā
Hours away from Springfield, Virginia is practicing their Tagalog in a secluded little lighthouse.
CREDITS SCENE
As the Simpflix UI counts down to the ānext seriesā, a mid-credits scene rolls. In the Simpsons living room, Lisa is reading Francescaās new book. Bart enters, scrolling on his phone.Ā
BART: Did you hear Sideshow Bob is robbing banks now?Ā
LISA: Huh.Ā
BART: ā¦Iāll lock the doors.Ā
LISA: Sounds like a plan.Ā
---
If you've made it this far, congrats and thank you! As they said in the 2010s, here's a cookie: šŖ.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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It is finally the first day of the @crack-in-the-chassis postings! I am delighted to have collaborated with @friendofcarlotta on her hilarious Simpsons AU. Read it here:
Corner House of Horror
Get ready for a gallery of characters all acting silly, and of course an evil plot only the Winchesters can stop!
When I read friendofcarlotta's fic, it was instantly obvious I had to try Matt Groening's style. As the title of the fic is inspired by the Simpsons Halloween Specials, "Treehouse of Horror", I tried my best to pay tribute to the promo posters they did for those episodes. The second art piece I did was just stuck in my mind, and impossible to resist making!
Thank you friendofcarlotta for being such an enthusiastic partner <3